Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Michael Hutchence (1/22/60 - 11/22/97)

I just realized I never said anything about Michael. That's absolutely CRIMINAL!!!! Even though I may not be a major fan of his anymore, I should still say something because I did love the man for many years before, and even quite a good number of years after he died. I am glad I got to see him live once and that I got to at least touch him as he wandered through the crowd (I was very fortunate to have an aisle seat). I even got to kiss him, hehe! Yeah, I still say I got to kiss him, even though by now everyone knows it wasn't a face-to-face kiss!! More like hand-to-face kiss. Some people count it as authentic, others don't. I do. hehe! He wasn't the first celeb I met and got to kiss though, but he was my most favorite at the time.

I still very clearly remember the night I found out he'd died. I've told that story before on here too I believe. I can actually describe each second word by word, and inch by inch, I remember it so well!! One of the few things in this life I actually do remember so well!! That was the longest 2 minutes of my life! It was so long, I could actually write a novel about what I was thinking and the different emotions I felt!! In terms of all the thoughts going through my head, that was the most emotional 2 minutes I've ever known in my life!! And years later, I didn't think I'd ever get over it. I grieved for such a long time over a man I didn't even know. Sorry Michael fans, but it made no sense to me any longer. So, I've since let go. I'm still just glad Tim is still around. I hope he'll be around for a long time. At least until I am gone.

It wasn't Michael who had me worried, he's dead. His problems are over with. It was always Tim who had me worried. I don't want to stir up bad memories for him, but I read in the INXS autobiography that Tim and Michael had a spat before he died that left Tim storming out of Michael's hotel room and for many years, he felt bad because Michael died before they had a chance to reconcile. For years that haunted Tim. I know how he felt. Though he seems to be over those feelings (at least he looked like he was when I saw him), I'm sure Michael forgives him. I don't know Michael, but I know Heaven, and I'm sure he is up there. Heaven isn't about carrying grudges, it's about love and forgiveness. And I feel Michael is up there and has forgotten all about what happened between him and Timmy and loves him again. Tim just needs to have faith in knowing this. Believe me, it helped me in dealing with my grandma's death. There are a lot of things that happened between me and her before she died and I never got to reconcile with her about. I was going to go see her that day too, and I wish to GOD I had. Funny thing, the day before she died I was thinking of going to see her, but it was a busy day, and it was late before we were done. The oddest thing happened, a little voice actually told me to go see her that afternoon. I brushed it off and asked my sis if she'd like to drive up the next day and see her at the hospital, she said yes. After that, this same little voice said to me "tomorrow will be too late." I still just brushed it off, and went on about my business. But I got a very sinking feeling, like I had just swallowed a bowling ball. I still just brushed it off. Then that night my sis and I got that dreaded call, ma was crying and told us that the hospital called and said grandma had died. When I heard the news, I suddenly got dizzy and a million things went through my head. I even thought back to that little voice I heard earlier that day, and how I brushed it off saying I would go see grandma the next day. But I never thought that would actually happen to her!! I always thought she was too strong to die, and usually she was!! She always snapped back happily after an illness. She was doing fine. I never thought she'd go that quick. The worst thing was how I knew I should have went to see her that day and I didn't say anything and just ignored my inner voice!! I had so much to tell her and I never got to. I was so upset!! I felt like she went to Heaven not knowing how much I loved her. So I know how Timmy felt about his spat with Michael. That's why faith is so important to me. That is the one thing in this World I never want to lose!! If I ever lose faith, I got nothing left.

I remember before grandma passed, I had a dream of catching what I thought was a butterfly. It turned out to be a white bat. I'd always heard that a white bat meant the death of a child, I guess it also means the death of a grandparent because that was the day grandma was taken from us.

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