I Wonder...

I wonder how this one person is doing that was hospitalized with heart problems. I was going to call her and send my well-wishes, but I decided against it. First of all, I doubt she even remembers me. Second, if she did remember me, I didn't want to risk her possibly giving my phone # to "Rita". I don't want that woman to have it!!! Thankfully I am unlisted now, so she cannot even get it in the phone book. No doubt "Rita" is still going around spreading gossip and BS about me. But hey! That's OK. She doesn't even know me, and anyone who listens to her is nothing but a fool. All "Rita" knows about me is based on a breeding I did ages ago, before I knew anything about dog shows, backyard breeders and pedigree research. Back in those days, people still just bred dogs for the fun of it, not to win some blue or purple ribbons at a snobby dog show! And if I wanted to be in a show, I'd move to Hollywood! Simple as that! Or I'd answer to these ads where people offered to pay ME. Not me pay THEM! Most likely though, they'd be paying me to stay OFF the camera! LOL!

I always said I'd be the World's worst show breeder. Not because of the breeding and showing of dogs. But because the one thing I learned about show breeders (especially from Pluba and that e-mail group I was once a member of) is that show breeders like to listen to gossip. They love drama, and they will believe anything anyone tells them about someone whether the person spreading the gossip really knows the person they are gossiping about or not. Just as long as the person spreading the gossip has a lot of show wins and purple ribbons, that's all that matters to them. This is the internet age! It's amazing how many people think they know everything there is to know about someone just by words stated on the internet. And that is not my style. I prefer to meet someone, get to know them, talk to them, then make final judgments. Some people do seem scary on the internet though! But I can honestly tell you I have never cussed someone out or anything of that nature in life or on the internet. There are some people whose internet persona I don't care for, but again, this is the INTERNET. People can be the biggest ass there is on a computer, but then when you meet them in person, they may be the sweetest person you'll ever meet. That is why I prefer not to make any final judgments on someone until I've actually met them.

I have toned down my character a wee bit. I know I still have a long way to go now. But I have met enough show breeders to know that they even admit themselves that they don't like people in general. One person said that in order to do really good for the animals, you have to really hate people. A lot of show breeders I've noticed live up to that. A lot of the ones I met were very insecure people. Sometimes I wonder why. Maybe their parents beat them up as children. Or, if their parents were also show breeders, maybe they felt neglected because the parents paid more attention to the dogs (or cats) than they did to them. Or maybe the parents paid more attention to outside sources than they did to them. Who really knows except maybe the show breeders themselves. But a lot of the show breeders I've met show that classic symptom of some kind of neglect which led to them being insecure adults. That's why they feel the need to put down the little people, like me. I was never very big in the show world. I showed Odessa a couple of times, but that was it. I never claimed to be a show breeder. Though I did buy Odessa with the intent to show her, as she was sold to us as a show prospect. We did try, we just could not get into showing and getting into the ring. And now that I know the kind of people behind the dogs, I can understand why! I was completely uncomfortable at dog shows!! And not just because of "Rita", though she was reason enough. I know for a fact that she was gossiping about me and Anna at the last show we went to. Because a man who I didn't even know and never met, kept giving me and Anna the "evil-eye", and he had been talking to "Rita" throughout the course of that show. So his reasons for snubbing me the way he did had to have been because of something "Rita" said to him. And that is why I'd make the World's worst show breeder. I'd have told "Rita" to bugger off, and let me get to know the person she is gossiping about for myself. I don't want to throw away someone who could become a potential friend just because of some mindless gossip. Especially if I had found out Rita did not even really know the person she was gossiping about, and she did not know me or Anna very well.

In essence, Rita is another JohnFaa. I kinda wonder if they are related? LOL! That wouldn't surprise me. If anyone doesn't know what a "JohnFaa" is, it's one of the biggest hypocrites I've ever met on the internet. It's name is Carlos Miguel Albuquerque and it hangs out with people like Viergacht. And Viergacht, as some of you may have read, hangs out with low-lifes who make threats of violence on the internet, are racists, sociopaths, and like to have sex with trees. LOL! In short, the kind of people I wouldn't give the time of day to! But at least I can give them credit for coming by it honestly! Those are things I don't think I would have revealed on the internet if they ever applied to me. Which they don't. LOL! And you should see, the people on the Speculative Evolution forum all think Viergacht and JohnFaa are good people. LOL! Well, the people on that forum are still too young to have all their instincts in place. Some of the members of that forum are good, but definitely NOT JohnFaa or Viergacht!!! You can tell a lot about a person by the kind of people they hang out with and well, you saw how I described Viergacht's friends, directly from reading his journal. My friends are not like that. There is a very good reason why I do not have many friends, and that is because the kind of people I like to call "friends" are of a very rare species, and becoming more and more extinct every day. Especially now that this is the internet age. Only one person on Viergacht's journal seemed to be at least somewhat decent (there's one in every forum!) but not too far off from the others. I only make friends with people who are kind, thoughtful and caring, and would not even dream of making threats to anyone over the internet. Look at Katrina. She's young, but she's got quite a big heart, and she is one of my best friends. Remember how I said she bought a hot cup of chili for a homeless man on a cold day. She told me the restaurant didn't like that, but she did it anyway, because she wanted to. That's Katrina! That's how she is. She's a loving, caring person. But she too doesn't like Viergacht or JohnFaa. LOL! She read their journals (it was her husband who told me about them) and she said they are too compulsive-obsessive....... and totally nuts. But, that's the kind of friends I have.
Viergacht has this thing that I am being narcissistic. LOL!! Poor chap, thinks he knows everything there is to know about me, but really he has no clue! He only sees the World in either black or white, and I am soooooooooo many shades of gray as a person, it would really confuse him. I am actually very honest about myself, both the good and bad. I don't think that is narcissism. I just don't like to dwell too heavily on my negative points. Whenever I do, I get too many people telling me to stop. So once in a while, I accentuate on my good points. I wasn't always like this. I used to be just as insecure of a person as Viergacht and JohnFaa are. The World is much prettier though when you lose those insecurities (even laugh at them, as I do) and start feeling better about yourself. That's why in the midst of JohnFaa calling me things like "a fat whore" and "bitchy Metazoica", I was able to take them in such stride it was fantastic. At least the "fat" part is true! Let's face it, I'm not Tyra Banks! I may never be either. Fat is where it's at! But JohnFaa is such a big hypocrite, he's undoubtedly a fat-ass himself. Nothing is more pathetic than one fat person making fun of another.

Yes, I have been taken down before, but not by a nameless person on the internet who doesn't know the first thing about me as an individual. Viergacht likes to think he's hurt my feelings. That's all that he dwells on. LOL!! Actually, very far from it. There is no way on Earth Viergacht can hurt me at all. I was never his friend. I never even liked him, ever! And he has never given me good reason to like him at all. And in order for someone to hurt me emotionally the way Viergacht wants so badly to, I would have to have liked that person at least at some point in my life. LOL! I'll tell you, I was more hurt by Proletarian than I've ever been by Viergacht or JohnFaa. Because at least I used to like Proletarian. Well, Proletarian is now in hiding, and I am not surprised! I'd hide too if I treated people the way he is now in the habit of treating them. But I guess Proletarian is just being a typical boy. A lot of boys like him allow others to influence their feelings toward other people. I've seen it happen a lot. Proletarian is one of those examples I have where my initial instincts about someone was proven wrong. I used to think Proletarian was a good person. But I turned out to be wrong. It happens once in a while. I usually have a natural knack for being able to tell who is good and who is not. Comes from years of meeting all kinds of people. I'm usually right about 85-90% of the time. Usually if a person is no good, I can feel it. But I didn't feel it at all with Proletarian. This leads me to believe his current behavior problems have been severely scarred and imprinted by JohnFaa and a few others on his forum. It's sad really. On my forum he was such a nice person. Then he got in with this lousy crowd and he's become an asshole. A jerk. A JohnFaa. LOL!