Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

The Senility Prayer

You've heard of the Serinity prayer? Well, this is a revised version. I cannot take credit, my ma sent it to me. But it matches what I believe to a T.

THE SENILITY PRAYER:
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference.

One bad thing about leaving to move to Bozeman, I'll be leaving behind all my family and friends I made in this state. Like Katrina. I may never see her or her husband and kids again! I may never see ma and pa again! Anyway, I always try to forget the people I met that didn't like anyway, and remember the ones I do like. The problem is EVERY ONE, good or bad, has some impact in some shape or form, in my life. If the experience with that person is not a pleasant one, I tend to take it out on other people I meet, because I learn not to trust anyone. Though at the same time, I always try to give people I don't know a chance. Sometimes it's hard though when a person has been burned as much as I have.

I was watching Operation Repo last week, and the new guy, Frank, doesn't seem to get along with any of the old crew. Matt was complaining mostly about how Frank reminds him of the Dueling Banjos song. I got a look at this guy on the show, and I didn't think he was going to last very long on there. For one thing, I remember Lyndah saying how he acts tough but he really isn't. I know in the business of reposessions you have to be tough and ruthless. Look at Matt. He's as tough as they come! I like his fire! Well anyway, in the show I saw last week, Matt and Frank were on a job and Frank screwed up by breaking open the wrong car and it pissed off both the car's owner and Matt. Matt got so mad, he took Frank in a headlock to the ground and then he jumped in the car and drove off without Frank. I felt bad for Frank though, he tried to hitch a ride with the camera crew, but they have their own van and they would not let him in. So the whole Operation Repo gang drove off and left him there. I felt for him! I kinda wonder if after the show was all over he did manage to get a ride somewhere. But I don't believe we will be hearing from him again.

Ya know that's always been my one big fear, is I'll get dropped off somewhere and not be able to get back home again. I remember when I went to LA with a perfect stranger. My whole family and my friends didn't really want me to go. My ma especially was like "Oh my GOD!" I was like "I know!" She told me to keep my cell phone with me at all times and I promised her I would. And I did. Even if I had been left somewhere on that trip, I knew I could contact any one of my friends and family here and they would gladly have come and got me and brought me home. I once met someone who had that happen to her 35 years ago, and she wound up living in the state she was left in. So she came out OK in the end! LOL! Who knows? Maybe if I had been left in LA, I could have taken up residence in Hollywood, maybe even would have been discovered by some big name producer. LOL!! Hey! Stranger things have happened. hehe!! Or at least would have gone to school and learned to do animation so I could work at Disney Studios or something.

Well, so much for big, wild dreams. Now, to return to reality. Over the past month I've been struck with a hard decision, whether to return to the SE forum or not. Well, today I decided not to. I found out I still have some supporters there, and I appreciate them asking me to return. But I decided not to go back. The reason is simple. I am not ready to go back to any forums yet. The way I snapped at that guy on YouTube a week or so ago, told me that I am not ready to go back. If I go back, and JohnFaa starts his usual BS again, or shit-talks someone I like, I'm going to eventually wail on his head!! Maybe not at first, but who knows how long it would take me to snap. All I have to do is have one bad day and that's it! I could make him sorry he was ever born! And I don't want to do that. When I do go back into the SE forum, when I am sure I am ready, I want to be much more forgiving. Believe it or not, I can be a monster. So far no one on the internet has ever seen that side of me. No one has ever seen me at my worst. That's because this is the internet. I have time to cool off before I post anything. Sometimes I post on here to blow off a little extra steam, but that's it. If you want to imagine me at my worst, think of what I have written in my blogs in the past and multiply it to the 10th power. Usually though I'm good about keeping my cool.

Well anyway, I won't be going back to the SE forum because I am just not ready. Sorry to those who said I should return. And one person really wanted to show me his project. All I can say is, they know where to find me and they are always welcome. Another showed me his work. One problem, he is working with Viergacht. Well, I saw a dragon that Viergacht did for this person, and I've got to tell you, he doesn't draw that badly. I'm not like Viergacht, I'm not going to lie and base my opinions of his work on how I feel about him personally. And I'm not interested in making friends with him at all, so in no way am I saying this to appeal to his graces (which is what he'd probably tell you). I'm just being honest, as I always am.

Well, he thinks my drawings are shitty, LOL! But that's OK. Those drawings are my style. A lot of people today seem to prefer manga or anime-style drawing and that just is not my style. No matter what these modern anime fanatics tell you, there are other ways of illustration that are just as good. And my ways are the old fashioned ways. Every artist has their preference and mine is old fashioned, Bugs Bunny style animation. I don't go for the modern manga and anime style drawings. In fact, I am downright turned OFF by anime style drawings!! I hate them with an intese passion!!!! I can look at manga style drawings a lot better than I can look at anime drawings!! That's just my POV. However, an anime artist is no less an artist. Just an artist with a different style. That's the funny thing about art, one thing I learned a LONG time ago!!! There are many different styles and tastes. I hate anime, but I don't mind simple drawings. I don't mind manga as much, but I don't expect I will ever learn it. LOL! Basically the main reason I hate anime so much is they are scary looking for one thing. They have bugged-out eyes, and the motion really sucks in those anime cartoons! Hurts my eyes because it is so unnatural.

I guess my style of drawing can be described as innocent, child-like, simple drawings. I don't put much shading in my drawings (part of the reason for that is because I've gotten lazy in my old age!) I put some details in my drawings, and I emphasize the word "some". I don't put a lot. But I try to put enough detail so the onlookers can tell the subject from the scenery. I always prefer to make my animals look like they're supposed to, even though most of the animals I use in my stories are animals from my Metazoic site. I'm just not into drawing like I'm working for an anime cartoon company or in manga style, like they do in comic books. I realize I could do better, but I just prefer the simple, innocent type of drawings that I've grown accustomed to doing.

Gee in this note alone I managed to stop myself from making an idiot of myself! I was about to call someone a psycho. I'm glad I caught it and erased it in time! I said to myself "Well that makes me sound like Catsredrum and Mayday06! And the last people I ever want to sound like are Catsredrum and Mayday06!!!" Mayday06 may have even changed her name by now. She probably calls herself Mayday09 now! LOL!!! I kinda wonder if she is still following me around the internet? Well, my one old informant decided she didn't like me anymore, which I guess is just as well. Ehhh, I was kinda hurt at first, but I get over things like that really quickly! :) Especially when I barely know that person and that person turns out to be a supporter of someone who is baaaad news anyway. Now, I guess it's up to me and my closest friends to keep an eye on those from the delusional mods forum!

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