Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Monday, July 12, 2010

What Do You Do?

The other night, I was watching another film on YouTube, again by Onision. He was talking about cutting yourself. People who do it do it because they are depressed and would rather feel the pain of cutting themselves than the pain of sadness. This is a sensitive issue I found out just by reading the comments. I know depression, believe me! I went through it after I lost my Groucho. I thought I would never get over it. I know what depression does to you. Back then, I would have rather been dead than feel the pain I felt losing my baby like that! The people who pulled me through that are my friends and family. Especially Anna and Katrina. I remember I stopped eating for like 3 days. Well, Katrina came over that third night, and she fixed me something, and she and Anna made me eat. I didn't feel hungry, but I ate anyway. It was weeks though before I could get even to a point where I could go longer than 10 minutes without crying. But in all that pain and sadness, I never once felt like cutting myself. Most people who do it cut themselves on their arm with anything sharp they can find. I couldn't understand that myself. But then that's me. I have other methods of dealing with sadness. Talking to Katrina often helps. She has such a cute sense of humor, when I feel sad I often call her and talk and she can get me laughing in under 5 minutes. Once I start laughing, I seem to forget about what was troubling me before and I feel good again. But cutting myself, I dunno. I could never understand that. Sadness is one thing, but cut yourself and you'll have those scars on your arms forever. Though I do understand the people who do it often cannot help it. I never have known anyone who does that myself, which I guess is why I don't understand it.

Anyway, if you were sad and depressed, what would you do to make yourself get better? Do you think depression is a mental disorder? Do you think it's something someone can control or not? I personally think depression isn't something someone can control, it's been proven to be linked to a chemical imbalance in the brain. A couple of weeks after I lost Groucho and I was still feeling very depressed, I took pills. I took anti-depressants. I remember how they made me feel too! I felt slap-happy. When one of your friends is going through depression, what do you do? Do you help them? Do you try to make them feel better? Or are you one of those jackasses that abandons them because you only want positive people in your life? I wouldn't personally consider someone like the latter a "friend". If I notice one of my friends is feeling depressed, I try to comfort them as much as I can for as long as I can. Even if it takes many many months. Some good I remember came from feeling slap-happy! That was when I got even with the delusional mods! LOL! Well! They asked for it! They were almost accusing me of killing Groucho. That was when I decided they had to be stopped. So I gave them a taste of their own medicine, and I'll wager you they did not like it!! hehehe!

Well, in other news, I've now fixed my videos so people like HOBOFART has to be approved before his comments are posted. All except the video I did just for him. hehe! That one is still open to stranger's comments. Well, he posted on my video of Minnie again, asking when he can expect this "chihuahua" to arrive at his home. I wasn't going to answer him, just leave him hanging. But I decided to answer him one last time anyway. I said to him "Let me put it to you this way, HOBOFART, hold your breath! The end result will do everybody a world of good!" That's when he will get Minnie, when he's rotting and lying stinking in the ground!! He also went to Anna's channel and is saying we are both mentally unstable, and we both have Down's syndrome. I said I don't believe he even knows what "mentally unstable" means. I mean, if he thinks I am "mentally unstable" because I don't wear a bra and I choose to be who I am, and he's not and he hacked into someone else's account and deleted everything, then he's got some real problems and needs help! And I really hope he gets it. He keeps going the way he is, he will be in prison in about---oh, I'd give him about 2 years before he winds up there. If he hasn't already been there!

Ya know I don't know why I feel it is my civic duty to sway younger people from going to prison! I mean really, it is their lives!! But I guess if I feel in any way I can make a difference, all this might be worth it. Eva does this on a regular basis. Makes her feel good she says.

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