Playing The Martyr

I've often been told that I act like the martyr in many situations, some people have even accused me of being spineless or cowardly. I have to laugh at those people though. You can say a lot of things about me! You can say I am arrogant, stupid, a jerk, an asshole, I'm nice, I'm opinionated, etc, etc, etc. But to say I am spineless I would say is a complete oximoron to who I really am. For one thing, I've never been shy about putting my real name out there. Some strangers even have my home address. I've even begun putting movies of myself out there, and pics. Would a spineless person do that? I personally don't think so. But then I guess it depends on what the other person calls "spineless". I remember someone, by the name of Rhonda (on the Pluba forum), once called me that because I agreed with someone who she didn't like, and she could not get me to agree with her on anything. Rhonda was angry at me from day 1 because of that too! LOL! Basically I just laugh at Rhonda though because she was one of those "hit-and-run" trolls, which is the most spineless variety of internet troll there is. But anyway, if I were someone else, looking at me from the outside in, I would definitely not call someone like me 'spineless'.

You know why I decided to put movies up of myself? Because Dustin Grey implied that I was hiding myself. It actually made me look at myself and I said, "OK, no more hiding. From now on, I am going to put videos up of myself, just because my face annoys him so much." So that was when I began putting up videos of myself, talking into my camera. hehe! I do find that when I am struck by a troll, I tend to put up more videos of myself. Until then, I usually cannot think of what to put up. I don't know why. I think because I give my mind such a good workout with trolls invading my videos, it kinda 'jump-starts' my creative processes. The worse the troll, the more creative I feel! hehehe!! I gave my mind a darn good workout this past weekend with Travis, by keeping my cool. It's great excersize for my mind! I get all giddy, and giggly when someone like him tries so desperately to put me down! That kinda re-energizes my creative juices, and I create more videos. Like yesterday I did a video about INXS's new album. I love INXS, but Nikka Costa singing Kick really SUCKED!!!! I hated it!! I went to inxs.com to warn everyone not to listen to that song. Very likely my posts will get deleted, but here it is again (plus I have my video), DON'T LISTEN TO THE NEW KICK ON INXS'S NEW ALBUM!!! IT'LL HURT YOUR EARS!!!!!! I hate it! I like the old version of Kick much better! This version is so slow, it sounds like Costa is singing in her sleep!! What is with music today?? There's no more rhythm, no more beat. Everyone nowadays seems to like it nothing but slow and sickly!! That's why I don't listen to modern music! No one can sing anymore. I don't think Costa is a good singer at all!!! I liked Shania Twain better than this wench!!

Anyway, why do I sometimes act like the victim in some cases? Well, it depends on the case. I know I put myself out there and there is a potential to get targeted by trolls and low-lifes. When I "play the martyr", it is most likely because I have felt threatened by someone. Like someone has backed me into a corner and I felt there was no other way out. Now, simple trolls like Travis and dustingrey, I did not feel threatened by. Because they're just trolls! What can they physically do to me? Nothing! They didn't even seem like the types that would hack into someone else's computer. Trolls like Rhonda, from Pluba, don't scare me at all!! Even when Rhonda resurfaced as "the watcher", more often I laughed at her than felt threatened by her! Because what could she do to me? Absolutely NOTHING!! She was too spineless. Spineless trolls (I call them "hit-and-run" trolls) are the least threatening of all. I wasn't going to go to her house, and she knew damn well she didn't have a prayer of ever being welcome in mine, and she was too cowardly even to argue so I did not feel threatened by her at all. The people I do feel threatened by are those who I know have hacked into other peoples' computers, called their homes, threatened their families, or have had friends who have hacked other peoples's e-mail accounts, and did all that stuff, those are the most threatening trolls, and yes they do exist!! I have heard too many stories of people running into internet enemies, and actually being shot or killed in some way, that I take every threat people throw at me seriously. Nowadays, no one can afford to take any threat lightly! So I don't. Usually when someone on the internet says they are going to shoot someone, chances are they won't do it. Unless that person actually knows the person they are threatening! But most of the time the person threatening me lives hundreds, or even thousands, of miles away from me, it is very unlikely they are going to do anything to me!!

I remember some years ago, a few people from the Pluba forum hacked into my old Hotmail account, and I noticed on my MSN, all of my friends had been eliminated, and it was not by me! 2 of the people I accused claimed they didn't do it. I don't believe they were the ones who actually hacked into my account, but I do believe (and they can never make me believe otherwise) that they knew the person who did it. One of them was brazen enough to ask me to add them to my MSN Messenger list. She knows who she is! Even though she denies it with all her might to her stupid friends, and not oddly enough, they actually believe her. The only reason I know it was someone from the Pluba forum is because the Hotmail account's alternate e-mail had been changed to an e-mail address that I used on the Pluba forum, and no where else. I didn't even have that e-mail when I set up the Hotmail account. No one could access that e-mail address unless they were the moderator, or was able to hack into my old account at Pluba. And I remember one time, this same person who was brazen enough to request an add to my MSN messenger, announced on the Pluba forum that she receives all private messeges sent to the moderator of that forum. If she could do that, what's to say she could not see any other info that was otherwise private on that forum? And she was the kind of person who would kiss and tell! She told all her fukwit friends everything she knew. I personally think she had personal connections with the mod, and she wasn't telling anyone that she did. But hey! It's OK! Karma will come to get those who do evil. Trust me! :) It may be sooner, or it may be later. You just never know. Bottom line is just be good to everyone you meet, and no harm will come to you.

Well, to summarize, that is why I am sometimes caught "playing the martyr". I usually only do so when I personally feel threatened. A person should not be allowed to get away with making threats to anyone whether it be on the internet or in person. I never do. I don't believe in making threats over the internet, nor over the phone, so I just don't do it. I never have. My ma always says talk is cheap. I may say I'd like to do this, or that. But that is hardly a threat! Though some people do see that phrase that way. But just because I say I'd like to do something, does not mean I am going to do it. But that's me! I don't trust strangers, so if someone threatens me over the internet, I think it'd be foolish not to take it somewhat seriously. That's how I feel.