Advantage To Being Ugly

hehehe! I never thought of myself as being beautiful, though when I was younger and thinner, I had men telling me I was beautiful all the time. Though it was nice to hear, there are quite a few advantages to being an ugly-ass bitch like I am now. Although a lot of people say they wish you were dead, how many of them are actually brave enough to risk performing a violent crime with a fat and ugly chick? I watch a lot of crime shows, I also have a cousin who is a police chief, and my father is a retired police officer, and I can tell you that most of the adult victims of rape, kidnapping and murder are almost always thin, attractive people. Not all of them, but most of them. And obese people are almost never the victims of any violent crime. The closest I've ever been to being an actual victim of violent crime, since I've gained weight, was coming face to face with an old fart that pretended he had a harpoon to spear me with. But he didn't touch me. And you know what they say about sticks and stones. The same goes for pretend harpoons. hehehe! Oddly enough that dude was old enough to be my grandfather! So old and yet no maturity at all. Like I said before, some boys never mature.

In light of all this evidence, I must say I am actually proud to be an ugly woman. People may talk down at me, and call me names, but at least I know no rapist or burglar would ever have the guts to tackle someone as big and ugly as I am. If they do, I'd just sit on them. hehehe! Sit on them so hard, they would go unconscious. Then I could make a clean getaway. No, that isn't insecurity, that's actually the utmost form of security there is.

Well, last night I was talking with someone else about recreating the UMG Productions site. Oh boy! At first he wanted me to call him on Skype, but he has such a thick accent, I could barely understand him. So I told him later that let's just type. But so far, it's going to be a cool site. I tried to explain some things to him that I think he did not understand. Anyway, I'd like there to be some changes made to the site. I'd like the ebooks to be compatible with Kindle, Nook and iPad, and any other ereaders out there. I don't have a Kindle, yet, so I need to learn more about making the books compatible for that. He's going to work on the site though. I know he said he is going to put the plan in a document and present it to me, but I am still waiting for that. I liked the document he made for the plans for Metazoica, even though I wound up going with someone else for that project. I want to keep the cost as low as possible, because of all the years I've had this site going, I've only sold one book. And that was through lulu.com. I hope the person who bought it is enjoying it! LOL! Although I wish the caricatures had come out much better. I think I made Eddie Cantor look too much like Desi Arnaz!! LOL! Looking back on it, I realized that was what I did. UGH! But that's me and caricatures. I'm not that great at them. But then Trisha, my supervisor, said not to worry about that. She said they don't have to look perfect. These are books for kids and young adults afterall. Most of the time, they don't care if the caricatures are accurate or not. Besides all they have on their minds nowadays is video games and anime cartoons, which look worse.