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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Farewell Sweet Angus

Today I was at the dog park with my sis and our buddies. We were talking and joking around when Andy DiSanti came home with Lou. But Angus was missing. Karen went out to see Andy, I said if she brings him back here, I'm gonna stick my tongue out at him again. LOL! Little did I realize at that time what had happened. Then Anna heard Andy call us "a couple of fat fuckers". Anna shouted "Hey who are you calling a fat fucker!?" Andy shouted back "You! You fat fucking bitch!" So we both stuck our tongues out at him. LOL! Karen walked some of the way back to his apartment with him. Anna and I started giggling saying "That was cool!" LOL! He was PISSED!! Or so I thought that's what his problem was.

When Karen came back, she informed us that Angus had to be put to sleep. Angus was Andy's scottish terrier, and he was a good dog. I liked Angus. Anna started attacking Andy's character and Karen stopped her in her tracks saying "No! I don't want to hear rudeness right now so fuck off!" Poor Anna sat there and looked dumbstruck! LOL! Karen's our friend though, so I just take everything she says with a grain of salt. Besides, now that I knew what Andy's problem was, I actually felt bad for him. All I could remember was how I was when Groucho died. I snapped at EVERYONE!!! I was just as vicious as Andy was today. But Karen told him not to take his frustrations out on me and Anna, and she informed us that Andy apologized for saying that about us. After I found out that Angus died, I completely forgot about him shouting names at me and Anna. I totally excused it (for the first time ever), even though he would still talk shit like that about us even if he wasn't in mourning. But I excused it anyway, even if he hadn't apologized. All I could think of is how I was when Groucho died. I was just as bad. But I didn't need sassing and backtalk. A person in mourning needs kindness and understanding. I can tell you from personal experience that someone in mourning often says and does a lot of things they don't mean.

Well, I brought up the idea that what we should all do is give Andy a sympathy card and all of us sign it. Anna kept blantantly reminding me that we hate Andy. I said "I know that!" She thought I was deserting to the enemy. But this is in no way an apology for anything, nor even an offer to make peace with him. I'm doing this because I liked Angus and out of respect for him and Groucho. As much as I can't stand Andy, I loved Angus and I feel bad that Andy lost him. So I thought giving him a card was a very nice gesture. I do things like that because I love animals and pets, and I know what it's like to lose a pet. I remember back when I used to get into the INXS forums, there was this woman in there, named Penny, and we HATED each other! LOL! I had already said to her if she didn't like my posts then don't read them. After that, she didn't talk to me anymore at all. Well, one day she came in and mentioned that her favorite guinea pig had died. I felt bad for her losing her guinea pig, so I sent her a PM, sending her my condolences. I'm sure that kinda shocked her getting a PM from me like that, someone who she hated so much. But at that time, I didn't even think about that. I felt bad because she lost someone who she considered her best friend, her guinea pig. I actually cried when I heard she lost the guinea pig! I'm not even a big fan of guinea pigs. But animals are our friends, they give us unconditional love. That's something that few humans give.

What annoys me the most is when someone says "it's just a dog" or "it's just a cat" or "it's just a guinea pig!" and then say it isn't the same as losing a child or a person. BULL-FUCKING-SHIT!!!! It is EVERY bit as hurtful as losing a person or child! Maybe in some cases, even more so. Like I said, animals love us unconditionally. They never back-talk us, or judge us harshly. You can say and do the stupidest things in front of them, they don't care. They'll love you anyways. When I get home from a long day, nothing makes me happier than seeing my dogs greet me at the door with as much enthusiasm as if I had been gone for a year, ready to jump on my lap and lick my face. People don't give you that. Kids are only cute when they are real little, then when they reach a certain age they turn into fucking monsters! Who needs that? Probably one of the main reasons I never had kids. Karen's son is 32 years old and still gripes about her, telling her she was a bad mother.

When I got back from the dog park, immediately I took out a card and made it out to Andy. I had Kim, Anna and Karen all sign it. I asked Karen to deliver it to Andy. I could have done it myself, but I was afraid it would look very suspicious to him. And I didn't want him to feel suspicious. Not until after he read the card anyway. Then, he could do whatever he wanted with it. He could tear it up for all I care, but I wanted him to read it first. The message I wrote on it was genuine. I basically told him that I was so sorry to hear about Angus passing away, and he would be in my prayers and to remember that Angus is now in a better place, in GOD's hands. I am not even so sure Andy really believes in GOD, but I intend to say a prayer for him tonight. At least Angus is now out of pain, so we should be happy for him. He had a very long, full life. He was 16 years old! But he had so much trouble walking, and last summer, I noticed that he had a bulge on his side. I thought it could be cancer. And yes, that's what it was, he had a huge cancerous tumor in his belly. Karen told me that he had stopped eating completely. Personally, if Angus were my dog, I would have had him put down last summer. He was suffering then! Karen asked me "Would it be easy for you to put your dogs down?" I answered, "If I thought they were suffering like Angus clearly is, yes." As much as it hurt me to have Groucho put to sleep, seeing her suffer hurt me even more.

Well, I was proud of Anna, she signed the card for Andy, and didn't put up too much of a fuss. Again, this is not to make peace with him, I'm not trying to gain his friendship. I just loved Angus, and am doing this because of that. No "deserting to the enemy" is involved. He can still hate my guts for all I care! He can think we are the 2 fattest, ugliest bitches on the planet. I don't care. I just care about Angus now. RIP Angus.
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