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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

The Past Loves of Timmyfan

Lately, I have been watching a lot of Gilligan's Island, basically trying to recapture my youth, and Netflix is helping me out here. I am getting some of the sitcoms I always enjoyed growing up. Gilligan's Island was one of them. And back then, I developed a huge kiddie crush on Bob Denver! I thought he was so cute! Ya know they say girls are often attracted to men who remind them of their father, whether consciously or unconsciously. For me, it must have been an unconscious attraction, because looking at him now, he does sort of remind me a little bit of how my father looked back then. I remember in my 6th grade class room, all my friends all talked about how ugly Bob Denver was in front of me. They usually said things to the effect of "Bob Denver? EWWW!!!" They were free to believe what they wanted, for some reason it didn't bother me. I guess I knew even back then that most people do not think screwball actors are cute or handsome. Bob Denver often portrayed someone who was screwy and dim-witted, like Gilligan. And a lot of people usually do not find that attractive. But in all honesty, you take away the sailor's hat and don't think of him as a dim-witted second mate marooned on a deserted island, Bob Denver was actually quite handsome!


Those were pics of him as a young man. He has a certain amount of charm in these pics! That was how I saw him. I thought he was handsome, and I did think so for a long time. Actually, it was a toss-up between him and the professor. I found that most of my friends who watched the show liked the professor more. Probably again because usually he was serious and intelligent, more so than anyone else on the show. One of my buddies back then said she thought Ginger was the only good-looking cast member. But Ginger was a girl! And this friend was a girl. I didn't think anything about it back then, but I couldn't have a crush on Ginger! LOL! People would have thought I was gay. Well! I think they thought I was gay anyway. Because there was this boy named Paul Rades, who I believe went around and told everyone in the whole school I was gay! LOL! In recently thinking about this, I believe that is why there were people I'd never known and never did any harm to in that school that hated my guts so much! Paul must have went around and told everyone I was gay! Back then, gay people were severely lynched. But I loved Bob Denver! To say I was gay would have been like saying a horse is a breed of dog.

Ahh! That's what I hated so much about that place! Ya know they say everyone has 'layers'. That is, there is an outer person that everyone sees, then there is a person underneath that outer person that no one usually sees. Kids usually judge other people by their outer layers. But these kids didn't even judge me by that! They just heard what someone else thought I was, and believed it. Kids are so dumb sometimes!

Well, I guess you might call me a "celebrity slut" because at about the same time I had taken on a crush for Bob Denver, I had already found another love, Harpo Marx. My devotion for him led to a complete and utter love for the Marx Brothers. But Harpo was definitely the cutest. But again, all my friends kept trying to convince me that they were ugly. I didn't see them that way, especially not Harpo! One friend I had even went so far as to try and convince me that they were "dogs". Well, I liked dogs! She could not insult me by saying the Marx Brothers were dogs. I didn't think the Marx Brothers were as ugly as those people were trying to convince me they were. I mean, how could you say this face is ugly??


Harpo was known for his angelic expression. If you think that's ugly, there's something wrong with you! If you were to compare Harpo with a dog, I think he'd be either a chihuahua or maybe a maltese, something adorable like that. And I mean a well-bred chihuahua, not those ugly Taco Bell dog lookalikes that are common among poor-quality breeders. Something more like a breed with a very baby-doll-like face. Here's another interesting fact I learned when I was reading Harpo's autobiography, Harpo Speaks. I heard he used to spend some time in the summer at Ocean Shores! To think, if I had lived there in the 30s and 40s, I possibly could have met him! That would have been cool!

Ever wonder what he looked like without the make-up? Like an average man. Here's a pic of him with his wife, who was also an actress and starred in Million-Dollar Legs:


Yes, Harpo was a dog-lover! Most decent people are. :) There's a story behind this little dog in the picture too, and he mentions it in his autobiography as well. It's a good book! I suggest it to anyone who has ever enjoyed the Marx Brothers. Well, my love for the Marx Brothers outlasted my affliction for Bob Denver. I mean, I still bore a torch for him, but it shrinked to the size of a hand-held lighter by the time I was in middle school.

During my  Middle school years, my affection for the Marx Brothers began to wane, and any affection I felt for Bob Denver had all but disappeared. That was because I discovered 2 new TV shows. I used to love old movies and TV shows. They don't make them like that anymore. But what was once KTZZ channel 22 used to have a Golden Oldies hour, and during that hour they ran Dennis the Menace and My Favorite Martian. They both quickly became my favorite shows, especially My Favorite Martian. I mean, I liked Dennis the Menace, but I didn't see it anywhere near as being in the same class as My Favorite Martian! For one reason, and ONLY one reason. I had a huge crush on both the stars of the show, Ray Walston and Bill Bixby. I thought both were very good-looking men!

Ray Walston was older than my grandma, but I always thought he was just as cute as a button! I remember when I was in middle school, no one said he was ugly, but everyone kept trying to convince me that he was dead! LOL! I kept telling them he wasn't, because I knew better. One boy named David Grant, even got pissed off at me because I said he wasn't dead, and he said in a hateful tone "Yes he IS! GOD-Dammit!" I don't know what his problem was, or why he got so rude just because Ray Walston was not dead. If men ever got PMS, I would have said maybe that day he was PMSing! LOL! This was back in the mid to late 80s! Ray Walston was very much alive then, and even had starred in a new TV series called Fast Times. Ray Walston did not die until the beginning of 2001. Oddly enough, it was the same year my grandma died too. But to this day, he still has a place of his own in my heart! I can never let go of the time I had deep feelings for him, and the fun and laughter he brought me. And that face! That adorable face!


I dunno. I had a big thing for older men back then! To me, older men looked much more distinguished than younger men. Especially the boys in my school. And then there was Bill Bixby. Now, he was another story. Most people remember him as the Incredible Hulk and from The Courtship of Eddie's Father. I used to watch both shows, but to me, Bill Bixby will always be Tim O'hara. Another reason I learned to love the show so much is because of the name of the main characters, it was the same as that of a friend of mine that I had before, who had passed away. The thing about Bill Bixby was he was younger and more good looking. Ray Walston was just cute. Bill Bixby was really handsome! And for a change, none of my friends kept saying he was ugly.


I feel sorry for Bill Bixby. His one and only child ever died when he was only 6 of a severe throat infection. After that, he never had anymore kids. So there is nothing left of him. I remember when I was a teenager, and had a crush on him, I had written letters to different celebs, asking them if they'd like to do a photo-exchange. I wrote to Bill Bixby. I was going to write to Ray Walston, but I wrote to Bixby first and waited to see if I would hear back from him. THEN, I was going to write to Ray Walston. But Bill Bixby never answered me back, so I guess I got a little discouraged and didn't write to Ray Walston. Not even so much as a "thank you" letter from Bixby. But I guess now I know why. He was having a hard time that year, as I believe that was the year his kid died. I also remember writing to Bob Hope and Red Skelton, and I heard back from both of them. Bob Hope even said I was cute! LOL! I still have the pic he sent me, and I'll never part with it. I'd be foolish to! It's bad enough I lost the letter he sent me in a flood. I don't want to lose this picture. The only reason I didn't is because I had that picture in a photo album that was put up high on a shelf that was not touched by the flood.

I never thought of Bob Hope as particularly handsome. Kinda cute, but not handsome. But most of all, I liked him because he made me laugh. He still makes me laugh, even though he's been dead now for several years. He died in 2003. After he died, I thought about getting the autographed pic he sent me framed. I still might. But I haven't yet. It's one of the things that's high on my "to-do" list. And yes, it is an original autograph! I can see the run-off marks left by the felt-tip pen he used. So, it's not a stamped autograph. When my ma first saw it, that's what she thought it was, but I knew better.


Well, there's the story of some of my past "loves". All of them are gone now, and today's celebrities aren't worth a damn. Shoot, they can't even make good movies anymore in Hollywood! That kinda sucks! Although I recently heard they were coming out with The Three Stooges movie. I'd really like to see that! Hopefully soon, maybe they can come out with a Marx Brothers movie!

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