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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Friday, September 28, 2012

The Four Days From Hell

Well, as you all know from my last post, I was living with a roommate named Patti. I went for an interview and she seemed like the perfect roomie for me. She was sweet, she loved animals, she said she loved comfort food, she just hated to cook, so I said I would cook for her if I moved in. My ma was at that interview and once Patti mentioned she loved British TV shows, they hit it off like magic! Ma did detect a bit of a flaw in her though. While they were talking about British TV shows, Patti all of a sudden got up and grabbed one of her cats and started talking about how she loves them and saying "isn't she cute!" It wasn't until later that ma said she thought that was nutty. People don't just do that in the middle of a conversation. I am not saying that I probably could not get along with another roommate, as long as they mind their own business and are normal, decent people. But as the days dragged on, I began to notice Patti was not one of those kinds of roommates.

During the interview, Patti was so cool. I mean, she was hideous as all be heck as far as looks went, but she was nice as pie. So I didn't care how she looked. But in all honesty, she looked like she had once been addicted to morphine. Her eyes were very wide open, nappy hair, and small mouth with crooked teeth. She looked like a scarecrow. But if I like someone, and I always try to give people a chance, it doesn't matter to me what they look like. I should have learned my lesson some years ago with bittertears from the INXS site, never trust people on first sight!! And for a while after her little tantrum, I didn't. Well, something about her bothered me from the beginning, I never really liked her that much. But Patti was so nice that first day, I thought we hit it off well. I was so excited about finally finding a place and having Vegas and Minnie back with me again, that once again I let my guard down. I've been doing that a lot lately and it's been getting me in so much trouble.

The first day, I began to notice some flaws too. While making breakfast for the both of us, she went out to the outside patio and brought in Mulder's food dish. Mulder is her dog, and she said he is a medium-sized dog and is a mixture of rottweiler, german shepherd and husky. The husky almost does not show up on him, except maybe his eyes. Well anyway, Patti proceeded to put Mulder's food dish (which had been outside where the animals piss and shit) on the cutting board in front of the toaster. I didn't think much about it, I figured maybe she always does that and she'll wipe the board down with an antibacterial wipe or something. Well she didn't have any of those. She asked me if I wanted toast and I said yes, so she pulled out the bread and made toast. She took out 2 slices and put them immediately in the toaster, then took 2 more slices out and put them on the cutting board right where she had her dog's nasty food dish at. And the board had not even been wiped off! I saw her do that and I thought "how disgusting!" I held my tongue though, as I promised I would before I moved there. Just when the first set of toast popped up, she put them on her plate and then put the dirty slices in the toaster. I took the cleaner slices off her plate and put them on my own! She can have the dirty slices, I didn't want them! It was her damn dog.

I never seen anyone do anything like that before. I love my dogs, but I have limits to where I will put their paraphernalia. Places where I prepare food is among those limits! Who knows how many times before I moved there she has done that. I once pulled out a piece of bread and it had pet hair all over it. I gave it to the chickens! Well, after I swiped the cleaner bread pieces off her plate, she seemed to clam up after that and got rather quiet. I detected that, but I didn't say anything. For the rest of that day, we pretty much got along well. We walked down to the creek, sat out on the patio and had a little chit-chat. I was trying to get to know her better. I would have stayed longer, but she was smoking a cigarette and my throat started to close up, so I had to move away. I didn't tell her to stop smoking though. I just moved away from where the smoke was blowing. Funny thing, her brother was the one who owns the house, and he was selling it then, that's why Patti needed a roommate. She was only paying $100 to her brother for rent and taking care of all the utilities. Patti said during the interview in fact that if I hadn't come along, she would be living in her van with the cats and dog. So, I would have been glad to help. While I was there, she said one of us should play the lotto, win and buy the house off her brother. Then the other could rent the room. I laughed. I thought she was kidding around.

And Mulder is not a medium-sized dog. I told her that. She told me he was medium-sized and I saw his picture and I thought he was a beagle or something. I can handle a beagle. She maintains that he is medium-sized. But Mulder is mixed with german shepherd and rottweiler, both of which are considered large dogs. Mulder's not medium-sized. He's only 5 months old, he's still got a lot of growing to do. Patti's going to find out too. And she mentioned Mulder's mom was a biter. That kinda worried me too, especially with little dogs and a dumb owner like Patti not knowing about the breeds in Mulder before getting him. She cannot even control Mulder. He walks all over her. She got upset because I would yell at Mulder, well when she wasn't around, Mulder minded me! He behaved. He didn't mind her very well. Barely paid any attention to her. So her method of being quiet was not working. And when I took things quietly like she wanted, Mulder became disobedient and unclassy again.

Well, Monday things began to get just a wee bit heated. Patti had to work, so I thought I would help her out. She went to her morning shift and she loved that client (she works as a caregiver). She got along well with that client. Then she had to go to her afternoon shift, and she did not like that client very well because the husband was controlling. So I thought I would do her a favor and have something ready for her to eat when she got back. I asked her what she wanted and she told me french toast would be good enough. So just before she was due back, I made her french toast and had it ready and warm by the time she got home. She seemed appreciative at first, and she liked the toast, she just seemed a bit on the snappy side, and I just figured it was because she'd had a bad evening. I asked her how the french toast was and she said it was good. Then she kinda muttered "didn't I say that already?" I answered "I don't know, maybe." she said "I think I already said that." That kinda struck me as coming off a bit aggressive, but again I figured she'd just had a hard evening so I didn't say anything. I figured by the next morning she was going to be the sweet little lady she was the day before. I asked her if she had any kids and she said "Nope!" She was married but thank GOD she never got pregnant. She asked me if I had kids and I said no. Never even tried to have kids. Then she said something odd and outlandish. She said "then you have a very boring life don't you." When she said that, I thought at first she was kidding, I looked for some sign of laughter but there was none. That struck me as strange she would say something like that and be serious about it, but again I thought she's just having a bad evening. We all have our moments we just can't get along afterall. So I just carried on the conversation in a friendly way. I responded "Unless you count my travels, I guess it would seem boring."

The next day, Tuesday, when Patti was done with work, she asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her and I said yes. So I got dressed up and we went out. She had to pick up some pet food and we went shopping for ourselves. I bought food for the both of us and paid for it with my own money, and Patti kicked like a steer because I was buying food for me that I liked. I bought a box of cookies to snack on and I never heard the end of it from her! As time rolled on, I discovered Patti was very controlling and impatient, and that kind of behavior, coming from someone who is obviously batshit crazy, does not make for a peaceful roommate. I tried to get along, but I was discovering Patti was a very immature asshole. Tuesday night, I had gotten sick, and was in the bathroom (I think I was food poisoned because Patti is so dirty). Well the toilet would not flush, so I went to ask Patti if she had something to fix it. She gave me a 30-minute lecture basically saying over and over again "I've never had a problem with that toilet in the 10 months I've lived here!" Well, how often does she use that toilet??? She has her own upstairs. It just seemed like an eternity before she finally told me where I could find the tools I needed to fix the toilet. She kept accusing me of trying to flush things I shouldn't have been flushing, and I told her I didn't try to flush anything that didn't need it! She still maintained that I tried to put something else in there, like a feminine pad or something.

I sensed then that this deal is not going to work out. When I first met Patti (as with all people) she seemed so nice and sweet. But now it was becoming clear she had been putting up a peaceful front to get me trapped in there for some reason. I'll tell you why, she told me this herself. She was looking for someone to pay rent (ie. the mortgage) on that place so she could have a free place to live. Or cheap. She was cheap! She was a penny-pincher! And mean-ass to boot. Tuesday night, I was fixing myself a midnight snack, as I do sometimes, it was grilled cheese sandwiches. Comfort food, which Patti told me she likes. I was still trying to get used to her stove. It was a gas stove and I had not used a gas stove in years. So my sandwiches got a bit dark. Not like charcoal burned, but dark. Well, just as I was finishing up, Patti came downstairs and had a mean look on her face. I thought maybe I had woken her up, so I apologized for that. She asked me in a nasty tone "What are you doing?!" I calmly said "Just fixing myself a snack." I did not even use anything of her's. I used my own food that I bought with my own money. Next thing I know, I am getting a 40-minute lecture as to why I should not be eating the things I eat, and she told me to give my sandwich to her dog. I told her I couldn't I made it for myself. She says "thats too bad!" She forced me to give the sandwich to Mulder. She stood between me and my room until she was done lecturing. She would not let me go into my room. I began to eat while she was talking, and she started mocking the way I ate. At first I laughed because again, I thought she was kidding around. But she had this crazy look on her face and said "No, I'm serious!" All of a sudden, I felt trapped and threatened. She was nuts!! To end all nuts!

I know! I should have told her to go fuck herself and take the sandwich and go into my room anyway! But I was so hell-bent on making this work. My father always accuses me of being too ornery and says that I can never get along with anyone, and I guess I was trying to prove him wrong in this case. But this time, I don't think I was totally to blame. Patti is just an asshole with not an ounce of patience. I'm very surprised she even makes it as a caregiver. I would think with a job like that, a person would have to have patience. She kept saying to me "wash your hands!" I was like "This is the last person to talk about someone else not being clean!" After seeing the way she put Mulder's dirty food dish down where I was preparing food! Not to mention the sponge she used to wash the dishes, she also used the same sponge to wash the counter tops. She has a dishwasher, and I was excited to finally be moving into a place that has a dishwasher. During the interview, I mentioned that and she said excitedly "Yeah! I have a dishwasher!" But it wasn't until after I moved in that I found out she does not use it! And she would not let me use it. She said it costs too much to run with the extra water and electricity. If she had mentioned that during the interview, and she didn't, I would have held it against that place and not moved in. She said she loves comfort food, well she doesn't. She's a health food fanatic. Comfort food is like mac and cheese, chili, mashed potatoes and gravy, and chocolate. Well, she hates all that stuff.

Well, Wednesday her brother came over to get the rest of his things and move out. I saw him using the same sponge, that we use to clean the dishes, on some dirty old bins that had probably been in the barn for 10 years and had all kinds of cobwebs, chicken shit and cat piss all over them. Then I had to use that sponge to clean the dishes! YUK!!! I refused to eat anything there after seeing him do that! At that point, I didn't think I was going to be there that long anyway, and if I had been, I was going to go to the market and pick up things that I wouldn't need dishes to prepare! But I sensed that this roommate was not going to work with me. I knew I was going to be let go that day, long before Patti said anything. She also got pissed because she told me on the first day to cover my food in the microwave, and I forgot to do it when I put some soup in there. She said it looks like there's been an explosion in there. Well, I didn't know it. I offered to clean up the mess right away and she said "Well, my brother is still moving his stuff." so I figured I would wait until he is done moving his stuff and then clean the microwave. Most of that day I spent in my room, so I could stay out of her brother's way. I figured I could clean the microwave that night when he settled down or something. Well, Patti got pissed again because an hour later, I hadn't cleaned the microwave. She then told me that her brother said instead of moving in, maybe I should be moving out. I said "OK." I'll tell you, I was not at all upset to be leaving there. I was beginning to root for Bozeman again after living there! That's how bad Patti was! She was a lunatic!! She said "I have no control over it" and I was thinking "Like hell you didn't!" LORD knows what lies she told her brother about me. Yes the microwave was dirty, but I said I would clean it. I was just waiting for her brother to sit down and watch TV or something, stop moving his things so I would not be in his way.

That's what I mean about Patti not having patience. She kept fussing because she had to keep repeating to me things she thought I should have known. But I didn't know. And I have never been the type of person you can tell something to one time and it sticks in my mind. Unless it's something that really stands out for whatever reason. Like when Patti said I had a boring life, that struck me as strange coming from her. So that stood out. It told me this woman is either having a very bad day, or she's loony as a jaybird! I tried not to think she was loony, but it soon became apparent she was! With me, she would have had a good thing going. I was going to get her some furniture, ma was going to copy some of her British shows and put them on disks for her. Patti even griped about me going to a used furniture place and getting furniture there. She said sometimes they'll have bugs on them. And guess what happened my first night there. She wanted to bring in this old easy chair from the barn that when I saw it, was covered with spider webs, chicken shit and probably cat piss and it STUNK!! She wanted me to sit in that, and I said "I'd have to clean it first!" I tried to clean it, but it would not clean easily. So she took that chair. But I could still smell it! It stunk up the whole living room. And there she was complaining about getting used furniture! So Patti is the queen of double standards too! That was why I gladly left Bozeman!

Losing that room did not bother me at all. I was glad to be getting out of there. The only thing that bothered me about leaving there was knowing I was not going to be able to cuddle my babies again for a while. And when I thought of that, it hit me hard. I got depressed. I wept for about 5 minutes, pulled myself together and got the rest of my stuff packed. After I was done weeping, I said to myself "This must be what hell is like." LOL! Knowing I may never have to see Patti again after I left there got me happy and motivated again. The first 2 days with her was great. I thought this place was sent by GOD. But the last 2 days there were hell!! Patti really was nothing more than a common bully! I'm going to laugh if she winds up homeless. She really belongs in an institution, having her brain examined. And hopefully fixed. I thank GOD too she never had kids!! That was the only smart thing she's probably ever done.
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