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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Gritty Grandma

This morning I was just remembering my grandma. I usually try to just let her rest in peace, but today, I was thinking about her a lot. Something just sprung into my mind and I started thinking about her. My grandma passed away in 2001, and it will be 12 years this month that we lost her. She was always a spry person, acted young for her age. That was one of the things I loved about her. I miss that. She was usually very meek, and gentle, but she would surprise you in a heartbeat with her feist and grit. She was from the south, so that was commonplace for her. The one thing that I always loved about grandma was she was always there when I needed someone to talk to. She was never "too busy" to listen. I remember when I was relieved of that job at the Puyallup Fair, and the way I was treated upon being let go, I went to grandma to release some steam. Grandma and I talked for a long time. She felt my anger and rage. Well, I tried not to let it slip in to rage, but I was ready to ring Tracy's neck when I left there. She was the time office supervisor at that time and a spoiled little brat! And get this, she was older than me. She made me feel like I was back in high school, and I had just got out of high school at that time. I did not want to go back!

I remember when I was let go of that job and I was taking my sis back to her booth where she worked, ol' Tracy told me to come back and pick up my check, and I never did it. I was afraid if I saw her again, I was going to kick her ass. That would have really landed me in jail and Tracy was not worth it.

As much as I loved my grandma, she had her dark side too. One of the things she always did that I did not like was accuse everyone of stealing things from her home. She would just randomly get up in the middle of the night, and I would be trying to sleep. Grandma would be searching the entire house for something and she would be saying "I bet these people next door got my stuff!" Sometimes she would even accuse my ma, or me or my sis of stealing things from her. And they were always small, invaluable things. Never something valuable like her valuable silverware, or her antiques. It was always something of her's that no one else but her cared about, like rotten food, or her Writer's Digest magazines or her socks. One time she accused me of stealing a load of broccoli she had cooked and put into the refrigerator and I found that very insulting!! I hate broccoli!! What possible use could I have for broccoli??

Another thing about my grandma that I found unlikable. She was overly sensitive. And she did not understand it very well when you would use slang, or a figure of speech, with her. For example, one time she started crying because I mentioned that she phones our home all the time. Well, for me I was just using a figure of speech, but she took that to mean that she calls our house 24/7/365. But it's just like my saying I shop at Walmart all the time. I'm not there 24 hours a day, it's just when I choose to go shopping, that is where I go. But grandma flew off the handle, thinking that I meant she is constantly calling us and she started crying. So I had to apologize for her misunderstanding.

I remember a long time ago, she had this friend named Debbie. Well, grandma had a habit of putting images of people she liked on her clothing, and she put a picture of Debbie on a sweatshirt. It's one thing to do that with pictures of your family, or even your favorite celebrity, but not someone you are friends with. I have a few really good friends, I would never put their facial image on a t-shirt. I found that to be a little bit disturbing. I think Debbie's mother did too. Debbie's mom, as I heard it, did not like my grandma, and I think that's why. It was disturbing, but not the end of the world! Now, if grandma had gotten a tattoo of Debbie's face that would have been bad! LOL! Sweatshirts come and go. Tattoos are forever. Well, my grandma told me that after she went to a Christmas party at Debbie's house, Debbie stopped speaking to her. Grandma had a dream one night where she met with Debbie again, and Debbie told grandma in the dream that she likes her but she can no longer have anything to do with her. Grandma told me about that dream and said "I wonder if that's true?" I didn't know what to say to her. I'm not even sure if Debbie ever got word that my grandma is now deceased. My ma didn't like Debbie, I don't think she would have called and told her. I never met Debbie, so I had no idea how to get in touch with her.

Well, the last time grandma spoke to Debbie was quite a few years before she passed away. I think it was in 1995 was the last time they spoke to each other. Well, Debbie missed out on a good friend if she really could not have anything to do with my grandma anymore.

My grandma was also from the old south, so she also used a lot of racial slurs. She always called black people "niggers". That was another thing I always hated, but it was easier to forgive her for it because she was from the old south, and she'd never known to call them more appropriately "black Americans" or "African Americans". Now, my ma is another story. She never used to use the word "nigger" until very recently. Now, she never calls them African-Americans. She always calls them by the "N" word. Now, that does make me angry! Especially since she's never used that word before and she knows I hate it when she uses that word! It makes my skin crawl just typing it.

But all-in-all my grandma was a good person, and I do miss her. I miss going there when I have a problem, and regardless of everything, my grandma would always lend me an ear. Plus, she was my grandma, the only one I had.

Grandma had some secrets that she also carried to the grave. After grandma passed away, ma got a call from her sister, my aunt Pat. Pat told her about an incident that she remembered clearly but ma only remembered very hazily. Grandma also had a baby boy she named Jerry. She had the baby a couple years after she had my ma. But almost immediately after she had that baby, it was kidnapped. After that, grandma essentially went crazy and had to be institutionalized. Grandma never discussed this. So somewhere out there I have an uncle that I never would have known. Ma believes that was why grandma would always accuse people of stealing from her. But stealing a baby is WAY different than stealing a magazine that no one cares about. If grandma had gotten National Geographic magazines, that would have been different. People do steal those. But Writer's Digest??? I cannot even find that magazine in news stands. No one I know subscribes to that magazine except grandma. Not sure what to say there. I'd like to know if that baby boy is still alive. He'd be a grown man right now.
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