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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Sunday, July 21, 2013

If Patti Had Children

I was actually thinking about this last night. I remember one of the things my former roommate, Patti Killebrew, told me was that she was married but never had kids. Patti was not a bright person, in fact she was downright dumb. And she was abusive. She claimed it was her husband that was abusive. I'm not normally in the habit of saying abuse is the victim's fault, but having lived with Patti for 4 days, I can understand why her ex-husband would beat her up. I'm not a violent person and I can tolerate a lot of hammering and slammering, and there were times while I was living with her that even I wanted to punch her in the face! I think if I had stayed there any longer, and she had continued acting the way she did, eventually I would have done it. Patti never laid a hand on me, which was a good thing for her. But she was abusive emotionally and verbally. I kinda wonder if she was always like that or if she was just senile. Nah, I think I am right. She was feeling the withdrawal effects of not being able to drink a lot of booze, or do her street drugs.

Patti was one of few people that nearly crossed that line with me. Only one person in my whole adult life actually crossed that line where I just get so pissed off I'd rip their hair out by the roots if I could. And it wasn't Patti. That was a breeder of german shepherds that I encountered back in 1998. But I'll get to that story another time. Patti came pretty close to pushing me over the edge, and that's pretty hard to do with me really. But I think a lot of Patti's impatience had to do with her never having children. She said she was married and thank GOD she never got pregnant. Those were her words. I actually thank GOD too, because not having those kids was the nicest thing she could have ever done for them. I was trying to imagine what those poor kids' lives would have been like if Patti had had them, based entirely on how I was treated while I was living with her. I actually made a couple of scenarios, one with a 5 year old named Sarah, and a 3 year old named Ariana. Let's say these were Patti's 2 children with what was now her "abusive" ex-husband.

Imagine it is a Monday night, at around 10:30PM. 5-year old Sarah is tired and heading to bed, Patti walks up behind her to peak as Sarah goes into her bedroom. The bedroom is somewhat messy, with some of Sarah's toys thrown about, the bed is unmade, and crayons pulled out of the box and onto the floor.

Patti says: What is this!? Your room is messy! Clean it up RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
Sarah: Oh mommy, I'm tired.
Patti: I don't care if you're tired! Clean your room NOW!!!!
Sarah walks into her room crying, and eventually just cries herself to sleep.

The next morning, Patti gets up about 5AM, and opens Sarah's door, as she is still sleeping in her bed.

Patti says: You didn't clean up your room! GET UP NOW!
Sarah: Mommy, I'm tired.
Patti: That's too bad! Get up and clean your room! NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah cannot get up because she got a late start in sleeping the night before, and she is still tired. Patti comes back around 8AM and Sarah is getting ready for school and still has not cleaned her room.

Patti: SARAH! YOU DID NOT CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!!!! GET UP!!!!!!!
Sarah: But mommy, I have to go to school.
Patti: No! You're not going to school! You're gonna stay right there in your room until you've cleaned it! DO IT NOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!

Sarah starts to cry and sits in her room and tries to clean up. Patti comes in 10 minutes after Sarah starts and Sarah is not finished.

Patti: SARAH! YOUR ROOM IS NOT COMPLETELY CLEAN!! GET UP AND CLEAN IT GOOD!
Sarah: But mommy, I'm trying!
Patti: THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! CLEAN FASTER!!!! MOVE IT!!!

So poor Sarah continues to work, but because her room was really messy it's taking a while. Patti comes in 4 minutes after her last visit...

Patti: SARAH! YOUR ROOM STILL ISN'T CLEAN ENOUGH!
Sarah: I'm doing it mommy.
Patti: THAT'S IT! I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Sarah: No mommy please! Don't kick me out of the house!
Patti: I DON'T CARE! I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW!!!! PACK YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT!

Sarah starts to cry and beg...

Sarah: Please mommy, give me another chance?
Patti: NO!!! YOU'RE NOT CLEANING YOUR ROOM! SO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!

Sarah stands in the middle of her room and cries loudly.

Patti: WOULD YOU JUST HURRY UP AND PACK YOUR SHIT YOU'RE GETTING IN MY FACE ABOUT THIS! I WANT YOU OUT!

Sarah packs what she can into a suitcase and sadly walks out the door and onto the streets. So now, all that is left in Patti's house is 3 year old Ariana.
Patti is up past 9:30PM, guzzling down her cheap booze, and there is a pile of dishes in the kitchen that needs cleaning. Ariana is sleeping in her bed. But Patti is so lazy, she does not want to have to do the dishes herself. So she goes to Ariana's room and slams open the door...

Patti: Ariana! The dishes in the kitchen are dirty. Get up and do them! NOW!!
Ariana: I'm tired mommy.
Patti: That's too bad! Get up and do them anyway!

So, after seeing the way Patti treated Sarah, Ariana tries to do what she can to make Patti happy, so she does the dishes. Even though she should be in bed at this hour. She stands up on a step ladder and fills the sink up with hot water. When the water is only 3 inches high in the sink...

Patti: That's enough water!
Ariana: That's not enough water for all these dishes mommy.
Patti: I don't care, I don't want you wasting electricity by using all the hot water!

So Ariana does the best she can. But seeing has how she's only 3 years old, she can't do them very well. And especially in only 3 inches of water! Patti comes in to watch her progress and inspects the dishes that Ariana cleaned already.

Patti: Ariana! This dish is not cleaned properly! And this dish is not really clean! DAMMIT ARIANA! DO THEM ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!

So, wanting to please her mommy, Ariana does them again, and finishes. She drains out the water that has now turned cold. It is 10PM and she is tired and wants to go to bed. Patti comes in and inspects the dishes Ariana did...

Patti: ARIANA!!! THESE DISHES ARE STILL NOT DONE RIGHT!!! GET BACK IN HERE AND DO THEM AGAIN!!!!!!
Ariana: Mommy, I'm tired. Please don't make me do them again.
Patti: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BED UNTIL YOU DO THESE DISHES!! DO THEM NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

So, tired, poor Ariana gets back up on her step ladder, and runs the hot water into the sink again. This time the water was only able to get up to 1 inch in the sink, and there is a lot of dishes Ariana has to clean right away.

Patti: THAT'S ENOUGH WATER!! DON'T WASTE THE HOT WATER IN THIS HOUSE!!!
Ariana: But mommy, this isn't enough water for all these dishes.
Patti: STOP THAT WATER RUNNING!!! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

So Ariana stops the water, and does the best she can to clean all those dishes in only 1 inch of water. It is 2 hours before she is done, so it is midnight before she gets to bed. Patti went to bed at 11PM. Ariana goes to sleep, believing she did a good enough job on the dishes. The next morning, Patti gets up at about 6AM, and sees the dishes that Ariana washed the night before. She still is not satisfied. So she charges into Ariana's room...

Patti: ARIANA! GET UP AND PACK YOUR STUFF! YOU'RE OUT OF HERE!
Ariana: Why mommy? What did I do?
Patti: YOU DIDN'T CLEAN THE DISHES!
Ariana: I don't want to leave.
Patti: THAT'S TOO BAD! YOU DIDN'T DO THE DISHES! I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
Ariana: I'll do them better mommy.
Patti: NO! YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THEM RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!!! YOU DIDN'T!!! NOW I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!!!!! COME ON!! PACK YOUR STUFF I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE IN 10 MINUTES!!!!!

Ariana starts to cry and packs what she can into a plastic bag. Patti is standing by.

Patti: OH SHUT UP YOU LITTLE CRY-BABY! GET YOUR SHIT PACKED AND GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!

Ariana finishes and opens the door to leave. Patti doesn't even give her a good bye nor wish her well. She just coldly looks the other way as Ariana walks out the door with all the belongings she could put in a little plastic shopping bag. Ariana goes off to search for Sarah, but never finds her, because Sarah was kidnapped, raped and murdered the night before.

And yes, to those atheists I encountered last night, I say even that happened for a good reason. Because the last thing this world needs is another Patti.
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