Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Twin Behavior

I was reading an article on the sidebar of this site that talks about twin behavior, and how it is possibly influenced by genes. That cannot be true. At least not in the case of this set of twins I knew in middle school. There were these two boys, Jeff and Jerry Massey. They were identical twins. On sight, a person could never tell them apart. You'd never know the difference until you actually spoke to them. I remember Jeff was a very nice guy, while Jerry was a complete asshole. I was not the only one who thought that either. Everyone in the school knew Jerry was psychotic. Some people in the school, like some of the people at that apartment complex in Bozeman, excused Jerry's rude behavior. And Jerry would be nasty without provocation. All you would have to do is look crosseyed at him and he would hate your guts! And he used to beat up girls. I've seen him do it before.

The funny thing about that is my sis went to school with Jeff and Jerry's big brother Tom, and according to my sis, Tom had the same attitude as Jerry. That told me a lot! That told me that those boys must live in a house full of hatred and violence. My guess is their father beats up on their mother. Or maybe they don't have a father. Maybe they only have a mother, and perhaps an abusive stepfather, and they never learned how to treat women right. Or perhaps their parents were never there for them. Possibly they were workaholics, and didn't raise those kids. But how Jeff was the only one out of those 3 boys that did not become an asshole, is what intrigues me. That was what made me start thinking about this. Is twin behavior genetic? Or is it learned? Well, I am no psychologist, so I have very little credibility for this argument. But that doesn't mean I cannot be interested in it.

In my opinion, I think a lot of behavior is learned. I think it all depends on who the twins spend the most time with. My guess in the case of Jeff and Jerry, perhaps Jerry spent more time with his older brother Tom. Jeff probably spent most of his growing up years with friends, who perhaps taught him some decency. I know Jerry didn't hate me because I was shy, and a little plump, as his very best friend was also a shy, quiet girl who was also more plump than I was. A sweetheart of a girl, but yes she was fatter than I was. I don't know what it is with me! I seem to always bring out the worst in people. No matter what I do!

Take Patti for example, I was sweet as pie to her the whole time I was living with her. I always smiled, said hello when we crossed paths, I cooked for her, I let her have her opinions and I had mine, and I kept my mouth shut about my opinions while I was there too. Unless Patti asked me what I thought of something. Even then I kept my speech down to a bare minimum. But somewhere along the way, something happened. It started when Patti asked me if I'd ever had kids, and just got worse from there. That's why to this day, I believe she was planning some kind of ambush. Patti and I were talking that evening after she got home from work. As we were talking about marriage, I mentioned I am usually a good judge of character. Patti asked me what I thought of her, and I told her what I thought of her at that time. I told her I thought she seemed like a nice person. At that time she did seem nice. I believe that was part of her ambush plan. I don't think she wanted me to think she was nice. Maybe she got her kicks out of being nasty. I don't know. But I do know that I was nothing but nice to her while I was living there, and the last 2 days, she just treated me like crap.

The reason I just cannot get over this is because there were so many occasions I should have just told Patti off!! And I didn't! I let Patti walk all over me, on purpose! All for the sake of trying to get along. I didn't want to yell at her, I didn't want to get angry with her, I didn't even want to disagree with her! There were some times I just wanted to punch Patti in the face! But I didn't because I didn't want her to be afraid of me. I tried so hard to get along with Patti and all that time and energy was just wasted! THAT is what I just cannot get over. I should not have been too nice to her. I should have just said what I was thinking, and if it would have got me kicked out of her place then so be it! I was totally nice to Patti and I got kicked out anyways. So, what difference would it have made if I was mean to her and got kicked out? The only difference I could think of is that at least I would have had my say, instead of letting her use me as a doormat! If I could have just told Patti to shut up once, even that would make me feel better right now! This is also the reason I don't believe Patti's ex-husband was abusive on purpose. Patti probably harassed him just like she did me! She sure made me want to beat her up too. I cannot even begin to tell you how much self-restraint it took out of me to not hit Patti! It's totally unfathomable!

I kinda wonder if people can sense that I just don't like people. And it's people like Patti that makes me hate people even more than before! One of these days, I'm just going to stop talking to people altogether. It's a lot better to just not talk to people than to get burned. It's not like I even always play the victim card. I know when I am to blame for something. If I am wrong I always say I am sorry. I'm not like Onision, GOD forbid!! He killed his pet tortoise this past week and now he's looking for excuses why it died. He's even saying it may have been shocked by construction noises going on near his house. Bullshit!! I just always wondered why I always bring out the worst in people. Well, I guess I should just remember the words of John Lennon. Being honest won't make you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.
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