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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

An Obscure Premonition

A couple weeks ago, the group I am a regular in had a little thing going where the members can participate in a Q&A with a guy who was a close friend of Michael's, whose name is Richard. I didn't participate because I could not think of anything to ask that I didn't already know. Or that probably wasn't already asked. But the others had some pretty good questions. One of which was if Richard thought Michael actually killed himself. To which Richard's answer was yes, he truly believed Michael killed himself. Well, I gotta believe him, because he would know, he'd seen Michael just days before he died. As sad as it is, and as much as I'd hate to believe it, Michael did kill himself, and I still blame both Paula and Bob for it!

Well, when I read Richard's answer to that question, it actually reminded me of a nagging premonition I had back in 1995 that I never told anybody about, not even my sister. I even forgot completely about it until I saw Richard's answer to that question! I was not into INXS that year, and had not thought of them, or given them any more than a passing interest when I heard one of their songs, or heard Michael's name. I had no idea Paula was in Michael's life, and no idea if he'd even had children or not. The only picture I had of INXS back then was a dust-covered picture that I kept in one corner of my sofa that was a promotional poster for the X album. Well, I remember one day I was watching Batman (the 1966 series) and recording it. For some reason, I was looking at my dusty picture of INXS, and I was thinking a little bit about Michael. And I don't know why, but from that moment on, I just had this feeling that of all the men of INXS, I just knew that Michael was going to be the first one that was going to die.

I have NO idea why I thought that! Don't ask me! I don't know what made me think of that at that particular time, and I sure as Hell didn't know it was going to happen as soon as it did after I had that feeling. I didn't think he would kill himself though, but I just always had that strange feeling that Michael was going to be the first band member of INXS to go. A lot of people would read this and think "Oh that's easy for you to say that now, because he is already dead." I don't have it written down anywhere, so I cannot prove it. I was never the kind of person to write about things like that, and back then I was not into INXS, and not even sure if I'd ever get back into them again. In fact, I almost threw that picture away half a dozen times!! But always stopped myself short of actually doing it! I'm glad too! I think through that picture, was some kind of portal into Michael's mind. LOL!

OK that's a joke, but when I did have that picture, a lot of weird premonitions came to me about Michael! I remember that pic used to be up on my wall in my bedroom from 1990 to 1992. It also followed me to Patti and Chris's house when I did a nannying job for them. I hung that pic right over the bed in the room they put me in. And when I left their house, the pic surely came with me! I wasn't even into INXS in 1992! I was more into Roxette. But for some reason, I felt more comfortable with that INXS poster over my bed. It gave me a reason to go back to their house after spending weekends, and days off, at my real home. Michael has such an expression on his face and in his eyes, that I almost felt like he was my protector. This is the same pic:

This is the same poster that I had
X promo poster

It was that look in his eyes that was the main reason I wanted to keep this picture over my bed when I was living with Patti and Chris. When I left Patti and Chris's house, I remember I put away all my pictures of Roxette, MC Hammer, New Kids on the Block, all those bands that I had been into before. But NOT this poster of INXS! That one, I wanted to keep with me. I cannot explain why! I kept it in that corner on the sofa next to me where I would lie down. It may have gotten very little attention, and it got covered with plenty of dust over the years. But I demanded to have that picture with me. And I am so glad I did keep it.

You know why I have the habit of talking to my pics and kissing them? I always heard, and believed, that pictures capture the soul. And even though Michael was still living in 1992, I felt like that poster I had may have had a little piece of Michael's soul attached to it. Maybe that was why I got so many weird premonitions about him, even in times when I was not an INXS fan.
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