I used to not go out and send friend requests on Facebook, I used to think it was too much for me to go around asking people on Facebook to become my friend. I always felt like I was forcing myself on people when I did that. Some people I still haven't asked to become my friend because they seem rather intimidating. Not that I don't like them, they just seem intimidating. But usually if I do ask someone on Facebook to become my friend, it's because I like them, either they did something or said something that made me feel good, or made me smile or laugh. There has been cases where the people I asked to become my friends have rejected my offer. That's OK. I just ask, I don't expect everyone I ask to accept. But in the cases where I have asked them to become my friends and they rejected, I've also noticed they seem to get offended by my request. I wonder why that is?
That's one of the many mysteries about humans I will never understand. If someone asks to become my friend on Facebook, I feel flattered. Even if I don't care for the person very much, and I do try to give everyone a chance. I figure most of the time when they ask me it's because they like me. That's why I ask people on Facebook to become my friend. I don't find that offensive. Maybe that's what is wrong with people in the world. They don't know friendship when it hits them. You cannot ask someone to become your friend on Facebook without them getting offended, I'd hate to think what it'd be like to go up to those same people on the street and just say hello and try to shake hands with them! It used to be (before Facebook) the best way to make friends was to find someone who seemed nice, say hello, introduce yourself, shake hands and start talking to them. Now, if you try that, does the other person get offended?
I remember some weeks ago, Jannah got a friend request from someone on the INXS group I am a regular on, and she got all offended by it and made a huge announcement about how "creepy" she thought that person was on the group and said she blocked that person. I thought "What?? What's the big deal???" Jannah now has me blocked too. LOL! But believe me, I am fine with that! Now, I can say what I want without her interference. Jannah was a cool chick though. I just never asked her to become my Facebook friend because I didn't like the way she gets all irrational when someone doesn't like Paula Yates. Well, I still don't like Paula! I never will. Nothing can change that. I won't listen to friends of Paula's, I won't listen to Jannah, I wouldn't even listen to Michael because I know those people are biased. The only person who can change my mind about how I feel about Paula would be Paula herself and she isn't here! I'm the type that prefers to meet people myself and get to know them, then form my own opinions.
The default setting in my mind for new strangers is they are all enemies until they prove otherwise. That comes from years of getting burned by people I've tried to be nice to. But my mind is not closed. If I meet someone I formerly didn't like, and it turns out they are nice, friendly, decent people, and I wind up liking them, I can change my mind. I didn't like Jannah when I first "met" her on the group. But I found she could be funny, and often made me laugh, and we'd frolic around with each other as well, and I learned to like her. But I also always had a bit of a block against her because of how she gets so outrageously angry at people who don't like Paula. Not that I ever felt intimidated by Jannah, it was more of an annoyance than anything else. There were times I just wanted to slap her and tell her to just "Shut the fuck up!!" But I couldn't get too angry at her for something like that. I remember I was the same way when I was younger. That was one of the biggest gripes I used to get when I was in my 20s and 30s, is that I got so irrational if people did not agree with me. But in 2003, I began to work on that.
There were times I still got irrational, and I admit I do need to work on that. Like when people talk about cats and panthers. I know I need to work on that, I've been told that many times before. It's harder to work on when you hate something with such passion, as I do panthers. I mean really, look at how people who hate fat people talk about people like me. They get just as irrational as I do when I hear about panthers. Jannah is exactly the same way when someone says they don't like Paula. She needs to work on that. If she can't, I might suggest right here and now that she seeks some therapy. It can work wonders!
That's one of the many mysteries about humans I will never understand. If someone asks to become my friend on Facebook, I feel flattered. Even if I don't care for the person very much, and I do try to give everyone a chance. I figure most of the time when they ask me it's because they like me. That's why I ask people on Facebook to become my friend. I don't find that offensive. Maybe that's what is wrong with people in the world. They don't know friendship when it hits them. You cannot ask someone to become your friend on Facebook without them getting offended, I'd hate to think what it'd be like to go up to those same people on the street and just say hello and try to shake hands with them! It used to be (before Facebook) the best way to make friends was to find someone who seemed nice, say hello, introduce yourself, shake hands and start talking to them. Now, if you try that, does the other person get offended?
I remember some weeks ago, Jannah got a friend request from someone on the INXS group I am a regular on, and she got all offended by it and made a huge announcement about how "creepy" she thought that person was on the group and said she blocked that person. I thought "What?? What's the big deal???" Jannah now has me blocked too. LOL! But believe me, I am fine with that! Now, I can say what I want without her interference. Jannah was a cool chick though. I just never asked her to become my Facebook friend because I didn't like the way she gets all irrational when someone doesn't like Paula Yates. Well, I still don't like Paula! I never will. Nothing can change that. I won't listen to friends of Paula's, I won't listen to Jannah, I wouldn't even listen to Michael because I know those people are biased. The only person who can change my mind about how I feel about Paula would be Paula herself and she isn't here! I'm the type that prefers to meet people myself and get to know them, then form my own opinions.
The default setting in my mind for new strangers is they are all enemies until they prove otherwise. That comes from years of getting burned by people I've tried to be nice to. But my mind is not closed. If I meet someone I formerly didn't like, and it turns out they are nice, friendly, decent people, and I wind up liking them, I can change my mind. I didn't like Jannah when I first "met" her on the group. But I found she could be funny, and often made me laugh, and we'd frolic around with each other as well, and I learned to like her. But I also always had a bit of a block against her because of how she gets so outrageously angry at people who don't like Paula. Not that I ever felt intimidated by Jannah, it was more of an annoyance than anything else. There were times I just wanted to slap her and tell her to just "Shut the fuck up!!" But I couldn't get too angry at her for something like that. I remember I was the same way when I was younger. That was one of the biggest gripes I used to get when I was in my 20s and 30s, is that I got so irrational if people did not agree with me. But in 2003, I began to work on that.
There were times I still got irrational, and I admit I do need to work on that. Like when people talk about cats and panthers. I know I need to work on that, I've been told that many times before. It's harder to work on when you hate something with such passion, as I do panthers. I mean really, look at how people who hate fat people talk about people like me. They get just as irrational as I do when I hear about panthers. Jannah is exactly the same way when someone says they don't like Paula. She needs to work on that. If she can't, I might suggest right here and now that she seeks some therapy. It can work wonders!
2 comments:
Its because of FB, people don't know what the term "friends" mean anymore. To them, its somebody that writes on your wall.
Well, if I lived closer to many of them, I might come for a visit to their place and chat. Or call them, which I have done with some of them. Or invite them to my place for a BBQ. But since I don't live close to many of them, and don't collect phone #s without their permission, all I can do is write on their wall.
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