Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Loyal To Michael

When I first saw Never Tear Us Apart the movie back in 2014, it had a huge impact on me. Before then, I considered myself nothing more than a casual fan of Michael. That is, I loved INXS, and I liked Michael's singing. But his sexual appeal did almost nothing for me back then, because I only had eyes for Timmy. That was IT. Back in 2005, when Rockstar: INXS was going on, I forced myself to forget about Michael. Timmy took up most of my attention by that year. I mean let's face it, Michael was gone, Timmy is still here. I could enjoy Timmy far more than I could enjoy Michael now. Meaning absolutely no disrespect to Michael, or to his method of performance. Its just, well, he was gone, and I felt I had come to terms with that finally this year. Before then, the mere thought of Michael was enough to make me burst into tears, and I cried at least once a day for him since hearing of his death. I did not cry for Lily, or the band members, or anything else. I cried for Michael. I cried because his death was so senseless. It never would have happened had he not gotten in with Paula Yates!! It was a total waste!! I was left with this overwhelming, sorrowful feeling that I should have grabbed Michael when I had the opportunity! I never would have even let him mention Paula's name in my house! It would have been forbidden! And I would have tore Paula Yates apart like a weed whacker to an old rag had she tried to lay her hands on my guy! Hindsight is 20/20!

Well, I can basically do anything I put my mind to. In fact, I was so good at making myself forget about Michael, in 2010, there was even a time that I would tell you I did not like Michael at all. There is even a pic I have that was part of a tour guide, where I found scratch marks all over Michael's face. Looking at that after seeing that movie, I was like "Wow! Did I do that??!!" But it could only have been me. :( And knowing there was a time in years past that I didn't like Michael anymore. Part of it was because of the fans (or rather, fags) I had met. Like this one who called herself Bittertears. Well, in all fairness, I did try to be friends with her. But there was just something about her that I did not like. I could not put my finger on it. Not for months anyways. Then when I wanted to create a forum for people to come in and lust over the guys, I invited Bittertears to join me. I did so partly because I thought she would enjoy it there, and also partly because I wanted to get to know her better. She never joined though, which is really fine by me. But then she accused me of "spamming" her inbox with invites. Well, as far as I knew, I only sent her one invite, maybe two. It was an RSVP, if she didn't want to join, I wanted her to tell me, but she never said "Dee, I don't want to join your forum." I would have been understanding and just backed off then. But it wasn't until she accused me of spamming that she finally said anything, and her delivery was not called for. She was a Hutch fan and I was a Timmy fan. She had scolded me some months before because I said I was more of a Timmy fan than a Michael fan. In fact, I still am. But I do love Michael now too.

Well, I haven't seen Bittertears in years. Not that I miss her at all. In fact, not having seen her in years is part of what has made me revert back to loving Michael again. As far as I know, she doesn't like social media, so I don't think she'd be on Facebook. Even if she was, I'm only on a couple of groups now, one is a secret group, the other is my own group. So, it's not likely we will meet again either. Besides that, I am not taking in anymore friends. Not for a really long while. I have one person, who is a temporary friend. But that's it. She's going to be the last for a long while. After my business with her is over, I'm going back down to under 300 friends. I mean, she's a nice enough person, but I want to limit myself to only a few really good friends. And them being mostly people I know, or are acquainted with, pretty well. Or I like them and I want to get to know them pretty well. Now that all the radicals are gone, it'll be so much easier. To the person who crossposted my blog post to the MH and his Life fan page, Thank you!! You made my job so much easier! :) Everything truly does happen for a reason.

Of course those were people, many of them I asked to become my facebook friends. But who'd have known they were radicals? LOL! Like I said, go try to figure out people. Well, I haven't asked anyone to become my facebook friend since I was let go from there. Most of the people who became friends with me after that were people who sent me requests. But I still hate radicals and I still hate Paula Yates!! I call her "the beast" now.

Anyways, I continue to carry on the legacy of Michael. I still love Timmy, and I'm back to doing my Timmy-squeals. One of my friends told me it makes her laugh every time, so I continue to do it for her. LOL! I enjoy doing it anyways. It's a great stress-reliever. Plus it kindof strengthens my love for Timmy. I do that, and I kindof picture Timmy standing there looking at me like he did when I met him in Seattle back in 2006. The look he gave me was enough to make my heart drop! Nice, big smile. I mean, the kind of smile that made his face wrinkle up and his eyes squint. I loved it!!! It looked sexy!!!!! If I were a dog at that time, my tail would have been going crazy, and I'd have been twirling around in endless circles.

Well, I just want to assure everyone reading that any mixed feelings about Michael will NEVER happen again!! Ever! No number of radicals will ever again change my mind about how I feel about my Michael. I should not have let it happen the first time. Oh well, my interest in Michael was already on it's last leg anyways. But I can assure you all that will never happen again!! It happened once, and I know what it feels like. It's never going to happen again! I'm going to continue loving Michael forever and ever and NOTHING is going to stop that! Neither is anything going to stop me from going to Australia. I always wanted to visit, and if nothing else works, I'm going to see wild kangaroos hopping around in the outback before I leave this world. I want to see a numbat, if I can! I think they're adorable!!! It'd be cool to see a bilby too! Or a quoll. Or hear kookaburras calling. Or see all the birds I've only ever seen in pet stores for thousands of dollars flying in vast numbers in the wild. Or see a platypus swimming in the river. Or see a colony of flying foxes in a tree. So many things I want to see while I am there!! On top of doing my movie. The movie is my crowning feat to Michael. This movie is going to be how he is going to be memorialized in my soul. Nothing on earth is going to stop me from doing this. I stood up to the delusional mods. I can stand up to adversaries to this.
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