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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Why I Forgive Michael and Not Paula

I was visiting this video last night that I first saw several months ago. People say Paula was extremely smart. Yeah, she was! Smart like a fox! She was indeed crafty enough that she was able to induce Michael into her world without much trying. Of course I think Michael was just trying to build up that family life he so badly craved. What better way to go about it than to find an older woman who already has been married and has 3 children? Well, this one person on YouTube and I have been back and forth on and off since I posted a comment saying yes, Paula was too smart. She was smart enough to trap Michael. This person said he was dumb enough to fall into it. Well, as much as I love my Michael, that's undeniable, he was indeed not as smart as Paula. Michael could not really help it that he fell in love. And not being attached to anyone previously, well, he had a right to pursue whatever interested him. If he was attracted to a milk cow, that's really his business. I love Michael. I respect that of him.

That all being said, I just don't feel Paula was the right choice for him. She was already married to Bob Geldof for several years before getting in with Michael, and she had 3 children with Geldof (I think). Though I do have some speculation about that, for argument's sake, I'm saying the kids were Paula's and Geldof's. Paula was attached already when she cheated with Michael. Even though I do not care for Bob Geldof, I can imagine how betrayed he felt. So can a lot of the Yatesfags, they just won't admit it. But if their husbands, or wives, cheated on them, they'd be thinking the same thing I'll wager you. Actually, if you look at humans on an evolutionary scale, we are not naturally monogamous. Before there was ever such a thing as marriage or even the Bible, early men had harems, usually of about 3-5 women. We also see evidence of this in modern apes and monkeys. Almost none of the apes or monkeys are monogamous. But that was the men (or males). The females (or women) usually stayed with the males for life. Polygamy is illegal in the USA, and I just don't understand that myself. But leave it to human laws to try and change nature.

Anyways, the fact of the matter is, there are things that Michael did that I should also get angry with him for, things that Paula did that I am already angry for. For one thing, both of them abandoned Lily. Michael was first though. So why am I not angry at him because of that? Yet I am angry at Paula for doing pretty much the same. How does one account for that? Well, when Michael died, I don't think he meant to leave Lily. And I guess he figured that Paula would always be around to take care of his child. It's sad that Michael put all his trust into a woman with the morals of a maggot! In the end, Lily was left all alone and Michael was turning over in his grave. Thankfully, Geldof was there to take Lily in and adopt her. For that reason alone, I have some amount of respect for Geldof, even though Michael did not want Lily to wind up with him, and he won't let Michael's remaining family see Lily. Now, if Paula had done some actual thinking, and stopped the drugs and thought of Lily for a change, I might have more respect for her today. But she didn't. So I don't have any respect for her.

Another thing I should be angry at Michael for is using Paula to have his child when she was already married. I'm angry at Paula for allowing him to do it. I know Michael was starving for a family. His own sis describes him sitting and watching her children with a look in his eyes that told her how much he craved having kids of his own. So, I know he really wanted to have kids. I totally understand that. But he should have done it with an unattached woman, like Helena or Kylie was at the time. Instead of going for a woman who was already married and had 3 kids with another (or other) men. It was Michael's choice, but it's one of those times when I like the person a lot, but I just cannot support his decision. And I won't. But I am also angry at Paula for this because she was not only older than Michael, but also a very intelligent woman. She should have said to him either "No, I won't do it with you because I have a husband already." or she could have said "Let's wait. I've been meaning to divorce my husband, so let's wait until the divorce is final." This way, Michael could have been spared a lot of headaches with fighting with the press and Geldof.

Michael also introduced Paula to drugs. Yes, though I hate to admit it, it was Michael who got Paula into drugs in the first place. Michael was not really a mature man. If Paula had used any of her brains instead of her vagina, which I'm still not so sure she really had, she would have said to him "Let's not do this crap! I have kids and I want to live to see them grow older. And you should want that too!" She should have made him get off the drugs. Michael was a sweet, wonderful man, but sometimes he didn't act like he had the brains to match his beauty. For that I feel bad.

So looking back on all this, in reality, I should be thinking Michael was the scum of the earth! I should be feeling bad for Paula. But I just don't. Why? Well, one thing is it goes back to the loyal person that I am. I am extremely loyal and forgiving. In fact, I've always said to my friends that the only person in history that is possibly more forgiving than me is Jesus. Not only do I forgive easily, I actually gain more respect for the person who repents. Though Michael is not here to repent, I am sure he would if he could. I have been a fan of Michael's since 1990. I fell in love with him on first sight. I was never a fan of Paula's. I didn't even know she existed until 1998, after Michael was gone. I sure as hell didn't know she had Michael's child. It wasn't until after he was gone that I even found out he had a family. But to me, that does not matter. It was Michael I cared about. Not Paula. Never Paula! There's just something about when you love someone so much, as I did Michael, no apologies or repentance is necessary. I cannot explain it.

There is a story that was presented on Unsolved Mysteries, about a man who was sleepwalking, went to the house of his in-laws, and killed his mother in law and brutally beat up his father in law. Now, you would think his wife would never want to see him again after this. But that was not the case. She just forgave him and went home with him. Even though her family did not feel the same way. But she loved her husband so much, she just simply forgave him and went on. I would think something like that would be unforgivable. It'd be hard for me to forgive my husband if he did that to my family. But I guess one never really knows until its happened to them. Though I know Michael did not kill anyone, I think this is just why I can forgive him, but I can never forgive Paula. Shows how deep my love for Michael really is. I know that sounds corny, but it's the only explanation I have.
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