Life Gets Better From Here On Out

Well, I made it! I am now officially an RV owner. Actually this is a camper trailor. I've always wanted to know what it's like to live in an RV, and for at least the next 3 years, I will learn. At the end of that 3 year period, this RV will be mine! I plan to purchase a van and haul this tin can all over the coastline. Who knows? I may see places I've never seen before. After I have seen every place there is to see on the coast, I might decide to purchase some land and rent this RV to other people. It'd be great for a student. If I can put it on a piece of land of my own, I can get $600 a month for it easy! Thats another thing I've always wanted to do, own some rental property. I used to see the commercials about how to start a rental business and I would dream about it. This would be an excellent start into a business like that. I hope to be fair with my tenants, and allow pets as well. I always like to say I am pet friendly because I do love animals, and I also understand how much other people love their pets. I'd have to limit the pet deal however to only a small dog. No cats and no big dogs. Nor medium-sized dogs. hehe. Well!! I want to be pet friendly but cats are very destructive, and so are big dogs. When I had cats, they messed up all my carpets. Fortunately my family owned the house and I had a shampooer I was able to get it all out, but it showed me that cats are every bit as messy as big dogs are. Only my chihuahuas, and Minnie, have been easy-going and non-destructive. So sometimes I can understand why a lot of people who rent don't want to allow pets. Service animals are another thing, one has to allow that. You know there is an ad on Craigslist by someone who wants to rent a camper, and does not want to allow pets. The ad says "Not even service animals". That's illegal. That would be denying a disabled person a home just because they have to have a service animal.

Well, all this is just a dream right now, but looking ahead, it might come true. Maybe someday. But anyway, no matter what, I am getting a taste of what it's like to live in an RV. It's what I always wanted to experience! I'm trying to fix up this place for winter because believe me, it gets COLD in here!!! The first couple of days after I moved in here, I didn't have a heater, and it was freezing out! In order to get warm, I had to stay under my bed covers and cuddle with the dogs up against me. Well, Vegas was bred as a lap-warmer. That's the purpose Chihuahuas served before they became popular housepets. When it's cold, I even find Minnie stays under the covers. She usually does not like the covers. So the second evening, I went to this little RV parts store and got myself a space heater. It's wonderful and made specifically for RVs. But it's small. So my father came up and visited this past week and he brought me the oil heater that he kept in his camper. So I keep that out now and keep it going and it stays nice and warm in here. BTW, my father said not to worry about what Kathy said about me. Those are her feelings, not his. Looks like Kathy and I will never really get along. I don't want to hurt my father's feelings, so I will try to be nice. Won't be easy though. But I've done nice things to people who I didn't like several times. No matter how nasty and mean I try to sound on here, I always try to be nice no matter what. I don't want to deliberately hurt anyone.

Well, now that we got it warmer in here, there is another thing I need to adjust on: the size. This is a 35-foot long RV, but it is still small inside. There are no slide-outs at all. Campers usually do not have them. At least not when this thing was new. This is a 1995 model trailor. But everything in here is tiny! Small spaces, small doorways. I barely have the room I have for the oil heater, which is why the little space heater is such a better option. But it doesn't get everything as warm as quickly as the oil heater. Me, being so darned fat, I can fit through the doorways, but if I ever get any wider, I won't be able to. LOL! Campers were not made with fat people in mind. But I hardly eat here so I don't think there is much chance I will get wider. And since I catch the bus everywhere now, I do more walking than average. Maybe I'll even lose weight. Who knows? Really, it doesn't matter to me. I'm actually almost afraid to lose weight. If I lose weight, I'll probably be gorgeous again, and you know what that will mean. I could be kidnapped, raped, maybe even murdered. I don't know though, maybe not if I stayed here. My neighbors here will look after me, so I was told. The manager here is also very nice. But poor thing, her illness gets in the way. When I moved in, she told me she would take me and another woman out that she wants me to meet. She never said exactly when she wants to do that, she just said the next day. Well, the next day came, and she got sick. And I needed to go out for a few things. She could not go, so she said she would do it the next day, and I said OK. Well, the next day came and went, and she was so sick she had to go to the hospital. I told her not to worry about it then, I'll just go out myself. I told her to just concentrate on getting herself better. I haven't bothered her about it since. And I still have not met this woman she said I should meet. But I suppose we will happen on one another someday soon. So whenever I need to go someplace, I either walk, take the bus or take a cab. Depending on how far I need to go and what I need to do! Obviously if I need to shop for the month, I cannot walk. Not unless I can get myself one of those roll-away carts. I have plenty of food supplies though. A lot of it I still have left over from when I lived in Bozeman.

Well, all of this is new to me, I am still working on getting used to it here. And getting used to living in an RV. It'll take a lot of patience and time. I thought my first night here that I was not going to like it at all. But then I have thought that for every new home we have moved into in the past, and usually after a while, I wind up loving it so much I don't want to leave. Except in the case of when we moved to Lakewood and when I moved to Bozeman. I knew I would not like Bozeman! This place is somewhat like Bozeman only better! I have the mountains behind me and the ocean in front of me. I love the area for sure! But until I actually have had a chance to get used to living in an RV, I cannot say for sure if I am going to love this or not. It'll take a while to see if I really do like this, or if it's just not for me. I hope to learn to love it. The most important thing though is now I have my dogs back with me where they belong. That was the main thing I had trouble adjusting to. That was the only thing I hated about leaving Patti's house! Knowing I would not be able to cuddle my babies again for a long while. That was depressing to me. But now we are all together again, and that will help me a lot in my adjustment. Been good having them back with me again. I had so much lost time with them to make up for. Not that I didn't think they were well taken care of, I mean those people that took them in were very good to them. After a while they really did not want to give them back to me. But it's just that I wanted them with me. I wanted to be able to hold them and cuddle them whenever I wanted to. I wanted to feel them licking my arms, and my face again when they felt like it, I wanted to see their sweet little faces and see their little tails waggling. That is why if I ever get rental property, I will never deny someone else their small dogs as I was. As long as the owner is responsible. Really though, those are very hard to find. Not everyone is as responsible a pet owner as I am!

Take My Picture

This past Saturday I finally finished a job at the Walmart in Yelm that I was doing for Straight Talk and the Make a Wish Foundation. It was a 4-week job and I was getting paid pretty good. The money I made will help me get into my new place. Well, during lunch break, I went to the local gas station to get lunch for me and a friend, who was also there. When I got in line, I was standing behind this one young woman, she looked to be about 20 or 25 years old and was dressed like a whore. First thing I know she has her phone camera raised and I am seeing myself on the screen. Then I realized she had just taken my picture! I don't even know this girl! And she is one of those "all-put-together", very attractive girls. Why in the world would she want a picture of a fat, ugly old crone like me? At least if she would have told me she was taking my picture I could have smiled or said cheese, or something like that. The only reason I can deduce as to why she had taken my pic is she is doing it for one of those websites where they show pics of fat, ugly people like me and allow visitors to laugh, poke and prod at us like we are monkeys in the zoo. Oh well. LOL! I have all kinds of my own pics on the internet. If this chick likes going around and collecting pics of ugly people, I don't mind contributing. I would just have felt better if I'd had a chance to smile or fix myself up for the pic, instead of looking like I had been standing on my feet all morning, trying to flag strangers down at Walmart to talk to them about Straight Talk or their brand of Smartphones. Instead, my face had an expression like "WTF?!?!" hehe!

Its amazing how many people I told this to, and said they would have beat the shit out of that bitch. Even my friend who was back at the Walmart waiting for me said that. That was their words, not mine! LOL! But that is undoubtedly why this young woman did not tell me she was taking my pic. She was afraid I'd beat her up or something. She just snapped the picture and didn't say a word at all. In fact, I did not detect any emotion at all in her face. But I take it she was just being very secretive about what she was doing. But according to the law, it is not illegal to take someone's picture in a public place. Even if it is against their will. If I didn't already have so many pics and videos up on the internet of myself, I would have lost my temper. But ugly as I am, I am obviously not ashamed to show myself to the world. I thought long and hard about doing that LONG before I ever put up any pics of myself on the internet. I knew there would be people poking fun at me and saying all kinds of nasty things, but then I said what the hell?! People do that kind of stuff all the time, and most of the time, chances are very good I'll never meet any of those people. I'll most likely never see that young woman again, ever. So really, nothing she or any of her viewers can ever say would hurt me or bother me. Just a bit of FYI there to those that have ever had this happen.

I am not that easily offended anyway. I used to be when I was younger, but at my current age I think "Oh well. What someone else thinks of me is really none of my concern." That's why I say only friends and family can hurt me. No one else. Friends and family I know I will see again, and family is supposed to support one another. Which reminds me, I may be about to disown my father. He told my sis something that Kathy said to him, and I thought it was very offensive. Kathy is his wife, my stepmom. I was just telling ma and John the other day how nice of a person Kathy is, and now to hear she is saying shit about me when I am not around. It's all about that weekend I spent at dad's place. Well! The first thing he did when I got there was blow his nose on the kitchen hand towel, and I don't tolerate that from no one! I should have up and left right then! Bathroom hand towels are one thing (as long as it's his own bathroom and I don't have to use it), but kitchen hand towels, where food is prepared, I draw the line at that! I mentioned this to ma, and she said he's always done that! I was like "Gross!!! And I grew up with him doing that???" No wonder I was always sick! I always had colds, sore and strep throats growing up. Now I know why! Well Kathy said that if dad ever invites me to stay the night at their place again, she was going to divorce him. Now, my father has a tendency to exaggerate, but I need to confront Kathy with this. Because whatever happened that weekend is none of her business. It's just between me and my father. And my dumb sister was taking Kathy's side in this! That's a pretty horrible ultimatum for Kathy to make considering she only heard one side of the story. Like I said, my father exaggerates. He probably blew everything up all out of proportion. I tried to get along with him while I was there. And he admitted himself that he acted like a pig and apologized for it. I forgave him too, and I never brought it up again.

Maybe I am old fashioned, but once you apologize to someone, and the other person forgives you, you're supposed to never do that thing again you apologized for. That's what I always do. Once someone apologizes, and they are sincere, I forgive them, make up with them, and I never bring it up again. But my father is not like that. He carries a grudge, and carries it, and carries it, and carries it. This will be stuck in his craw until the day he dies I'll bet ya! He brings it up all the time, I don't. I was willing to forgive and forget. Even though my father is a slob, I was willing to just let it all go and maybe start all over again. My ma said he's always resented me, even before I was born he resented me for some reason. I did notice that when we were kids, my father was much more stand-offish with me than he was with my sis. He was also a lot less forgiving with me than he was with my sis. Maybe that is why I am the way I am now. I see men on first sight and I don't trust them. It takes me a long time to trust men, much longer than it takes me to trust women. But after this last weekend's experience, I think I'd better rethink that again. Seems women cannot be trusted any more than men.

Well, I mentioned to ma that if my father chooses Kathy over me, he's going to lose me. I'll not consider him my father anymore. He'll just be a stranger to me. I mean that too. I will hope that Anna respects this too. I need to confront Kathy with this though. I must know. Knowing how much my father exaggerates, Kathy may not have said that. Or she may have said it in a heated moment or something. I need to find out. If that actually turns out to be true, I'll turn to my father and say "OK father. Now you have a choice. You can either accept me and tell Kathy to screw herself, or you can support Kathy's decision and I'll divorce you as my father." And I will too!

I admit it, I am a germaphobe! There are some things I don't take to very well. I like my kitchen to be spotless, and I don't like inner-body secretions that come from unclean areas in certain places in my kitchen. I draw the line at nose and eye snot, urine and shit. I don't want those in my kitchen. I feel if a person is going to blow their nose in the kitchen, DO NOT do it on the hand towels where other people wipe their hands!!! No one wants another person's snot on their hands!! Use a paper towel or a kleenex. That's what they are made for. I thought that was rude and crude of my father to do that while I was preparing food in the kitchen. I expect other people I visit to be the same way I am. I also admit I can never live with a stranger. I tried with Patti. Well, in all fairness, Patti was a lunatic, and she told a lot of lies to get me in there so she would not have to pay the entire cost of the rent. She probably even lied to her brother to get me out of there. She probably pushed him to make the decision to get me out of there. I do not believe for one second that she even tried to make that work out. In all honesty, I think Patti was having withdrawl symptoms related to drug and alcohol abuse. That's why the last 2 days I was there, she was so nasty. She told me she does not drink much. I think she drank far more than she led on. She looked like a morphine addict. I remember her eyes were always so wide and even in the dark, her pupils were very dialated. She probably did that too, and was afraid to do it while I was there knowing I do not drink or do drugs, and if I found out she did them, I'd report her to the police and her workplace. That is why she wanted me out of there and was so hateful the last 2 days.

Oh and to the dirty dozen mob, if you want to report this post to Patti, go for it! :) You know you want to. Without posting private info about her on here, which would get me in trouble, I'll post her ad, and you can e-mail it to her if you want. Be my guest! The ad is still up on Craigslist. Knowing the dirty dozen the way I do, they would never pass up a chance like this. But I don't mind, I want Patti to know I am on to her. Better yet, e-mail the "4-days From Hell" post to her. http://olympic.craigslist.org/roo/3272640600.html

Jared Milton

I was watching some of this kid's videos last night, he's the one who first came out with the idea of starting some kind of war against people who hate Justin Beiber. He tries to sound all intimidating in his videos, but he comes off as simply disgusting! I watch him talk and he is so annoying in every way! He reminds me a lot of Kim Hedges back at that apartment in Bozeman; he's dumb as dirt, crosseyed, ugly as shit, wants people to think he's perfect, and pretends not to be bothered by what others think of him. He's just like Kim in every way! LOL! I wouldn't be surprised if those two are in some way related, they are so much alike! They both probably like the same music. I know that kid's real name is not Jared Milton. He admitted in one of his videos that the name is made up. Unlike Kim though, in some ways, he sounds like a well-educated teenager. He uses words that you don't usually hear come from someone who is 14 years old, and he uses them well. But I say he is dumb as dirt because he made videos that has gotten him in a lot of trouble worldwide and he does not believe he did anything wrong.

Here is his first video, where he declares war against people who hate Justin Beiber.



This was the video that got him in so much trouble. Especially with Anonymous. Anonymous prides it's self in hassling children who make videos, especially when the videos contain death threats. That's what this Jared Milton does in this video. He's always saying how his parents can hack everyone, and he has permission from the CIA and FBI to hack people and post their private information on some website that he bought. And later he says how 30 minutes after putting up that site, Anonymous hacked it. Well, I don't blame Anonymous! This dumb kid had no right to threaten anyone! And for what reason? Because we hate Justin Boober? This kid thinks he's doing Justin Beiber some kind of favor by posting up these videos, when really, I'm sure Justin Beiber would be pissed at him, because he is making not only Justin Beiber fans look bad, but also Justin Beiber himself!

I know if I were Justin Beiber, I would not want to know this kid is representing my fans. Anyway, here is where Jared Milton starts to sound like Kim from Bozeman:



I think this is the video he is referring to. I always burst out laughing every time he says "You're not getting to me" or "You can't hurt me!" and then turns around and reads his comments while sobbing and crying. It's very clear that the comments are getting to him.



Here he sounds like Kim again:



Here, Anonymous decided to have some fun with him:



Now, if there is one group on the internet you don't want to piss off, it's Anonymous. Even I try to stay away from them, and I'm pretty bold. When I left Bozeman, I walked through a room full of people who wanted to kill me, and didn't give a shit. I just carried on like nothing was wrong. I'm usually pretty brave! Like a wolverine. But when it comes to Anonymous, I back off. They're like a pack of wolves, they work as one. And they can hack anything. I once even heard about how they hacked the sprinkler system of a business that pissed them off. That's one of the main reasons why I never post threats on the internet. Besides the fact that I just don't like to threaten people. But I would rather have a gang of angry vegan fanatics come at me with pitchforks and torches than to have Anonymous after me! I would rather be forced into a room, tied to a couch with no Timmy pics, and have Andy DiSanti with his stinking body odor sit next to me, and pictures of Kim Hedges naked all over the walls for 90 days than to have Anonymous discover me. I would rather have a chihuahua that looks like the Taco Bell dog than to have Anonymous after me. LOL! That is how nervous they make me. I have a friend that showed me a picture of her daughter holding an Anonymous mask, and even that made me nervous! I don't even know for sure if her daughter is a member of Anonymous. Just looking at the mask made me nervous, and I thought "I'd better not piss off this friend!" LOL! Not that I ever would, she's such a nice person anyway.

Seriously though, if these dumb teenagers are going to try something like this, then have the balls to stand up and say "OK, I was wrong. But I am not perfect!" instead of trying to say you are perfect. That's what makes me laugh is these teenagers saying shit like this guy (and Jessi Slaughter) and getting maximum trolling, then coming off trying to make us think we're jealous because they are 'perfect' or rich or something like that. It only makes them look dumb. I am not rich, and don't pretend to be. I know damn well I am not perfect, so I never try to convince people I am. I have made some accomplishments that I am proud of, and I do boast from time to time. But I get trolled all the time. And believe me when I say it does not faze me. You will NEVER see me crying in a video over something someone on the internet has said to me or about me. The only people that can hurt me like that are my friends and family. That's the way it is when you reach my age. I don't take kindly to threats though. I don't mind name-calling, but I am very wary of threats. Even if the threat is mild. Like the guy who said its time to get my "mentally retarded" sister out of Montana, and then added "It's going to happen." I took that last sentence as a threat. It may be a mild threat, but it is still a threat. The "mentally retarded" part does not bother me though. My sis is going to the university, which is probably a lot more than this person who made the threat can ever say about himself. Not saying he's maybe jealous, but if you are going to call someone else 'mentally retarded', you'd better make absolutely certain your own backyard is clean!

The Bad Seed

Well, I am a little bit upset, but not entirely. It's a good thing I did not count too heavily on this lead! Before I left Bozeman, my partner and I were assigned a calling job with a company in Texas. My job was as the secretary and my partner's job was as a head of a call center. Well, the hiring manager was a man who called himself Lake Davis. I spoke to him on Skype a couple times at the request of my partner, since that is part of my job. When I signed on to my partner's Skype account and saw Lake's profile, I thought it was kindof odd! The very first thing I noticed is that his profile picture is of an anime character. You all know how I feel about anime! I hate it! I cannot even half watch those cartoons because I hate the motion. The characters are simply ugly too. I thought it was odd that Lake's profile pic was of an anime cartoon character, but I didn't want to think the worst. Even though deep down inside, I did think the worst. Some of the worst people I've ever seen online are anime fanatics. They always have some anime cartoon character as their avatar or profile picture. But as a professional in online freelancing, I am not allowed to judge anyone based on their interests if they are offering us a job. So I set my fears aside and just continued on with the set up. I believe though that I did mention something similar to my partner. But we brushed it off because I wanted to give Lake Davis a chance.

I was supposed to get money each month from my partner. But the first month after hiring ended, and I hadn't received anything. Then the next month came and went, no paycheck. So I finally decided to contact my partner. He said he has never received anything either from Lake. And then he showed me this website. Seems little mister Lake Davis is a fraud! Check it out! http://scamalert.activaworld.com/?p=6 He has scammed not only me and my partner, but many other individuals as well. He sounded so nice to talk to, but behind his kind words and gentle voice, is an evil heart! In a way, I was kindof counting on the money we were supposed to get from him to help me in my month-to-month expenses. But also in a way, I did not count too heavily on this lead either. Simply because he is an anime freak. I don't really trust them! I've seen several of them throughout the internet, on several message boards, chatrooms, and on YouTube, and usually they are bad news. I've never had anyone, who has an anime profile pic, say anything nice or positive in any of my videos or anywhere. Usually if I see they have a profile pic made up of some anime cartoon character, I don't generally even read their comment, because I know it's not going to be a friendly one.

That's what anime seems to be doing to today's kids' minds. Kids are becoming disrespectful and conventionally nasty people. Not too long ago, I saw an article in a blog someone posted, referring back to my blog here, and a post I wrote about today's kids and anime cartoons, and the bad influence I feel anime is having on today's kids. They compared american kids watching anime and japanese kids watching anime. Anime does not seem to have the same effect on japanese kids as it does on american kids. Well, having lived in a predominantly japanese household, I can tell you that japanese kids don't watch as much television as american kids. The japanese go to school for 10 hours a day, including Saturdays. So they don't have as much time to devote to watching anime cartoons as american kids do. But go to the darker side of Japan, and watch children there who may have spent more hours watching anime cartoons, and you might see that they are just like american children are. Even like some young american adults.

The Four Days From Hell

Well, as you all know from my last post, I was living with a roommate named Patti. I went for an interview and she seemed like the perfect roomie for me. She was sweet, she loved animals, she said she loved comfort food, she just hated to cook, so I said I would cook for her if I moved in. My ma was at that interview and once Patti mentioned she loved British TV shows, they hit it off like magic! Ma did detect a bit of a flaw in her though. While they were talking about British TV shows, Patti all of a sudden got up and grabbed one of her cats and started talking about how she loves them and saying "isn't she cute!" It wasn't until later that ma said she thought that was nutty. People don't just do that in the middle of a conversation. I am not saying that I probably could not get along with another roommate, as long as they mind their own business and are normal, decent people. But as the days dragged on, I began to notice Patti was not one of those kinds of roommates.

During the interview, Patti was so cool. I mean, she was hideous as all be heck as far as looks went, but she was nice as pie. So I didn't care how she looked. But in all honesty, she looked like she had once been addicted to morphine. Her eyes were very wide open, nappy hair, and small mouth with crooked teeth. She looked like a scarecrow. But if I like someone, and I always try to give people a chance, it doesn't matter to me what they look like. I should have learned my lesson some years ago with bittertears from the INXS site, never trust people on first sight!! And for a while after her little tantrum, I didn't. Well, something about her bothered me from the beginning, I never really liked her that much. But Patti was so nice that first day, I thought we hit it off well. I was so excited about finally finding a place and having Vegas and Minnie back with me again, that once again I let my guard down. I've been doing that a lot lately and it's been getting me in so much trouble.

The first day, I began to notice some flaws too. While making breakfast for the both of us, she went out to the outside patio and brought in Mulder's food dish. Mulder is her dog, and she said he is a medium-sized dog and is a mixture of rottweiler, german shepherd and husky. The husky almost does not show up on him, except maybe his eyes. Well anyway, Patti proceeded to put Mulder's food dish (which had been outside where the animals piss and shit) on the cutting board in front of the toaster. I didn't think much about it, I figured maybe she always does that and she'll wipe the board down with an antibacterial wipe or something. Well she didn't have any of those. She asked me if I wanted toast and I said yes, so she pulled out the bread and made toast. She took out 2 slices and put them immediately in the toaster, then took 2 more slices out and put them on the cutting board right where she had her dog's nasty food dish at. And the board had not even been wiped off! I saw her do that and I thought "how disgusting!" I held my tongue though, as I promised I would before I moved there. Just when the first set of toast popped up, she put them on her plate and then put the dirty slices in the toaster. I took the cleaner slices off her plate and put them on my own! She can have the dirty slices, I didn't want them! It was her damn dog.

I never seen anyone do anything like that before. I love my dogs, but I have limits to where I will put their paraphernalia. Places where I prepare food is among those limits! Who knows how many times before I moved there she has done that. I once pulled out a piece of bread and it had pet hair all over it. I gave it to the chickens! Well, after I swiped the cleaner bread pieces off her plate, she seemed to clam up after that and got rather quiet. I detected that, but I didn't say anything. For the rest of that day, we pretty much got along well. We walked down to the creek, sat out on the patio and had a little chit-chat. I was trying to get to know her better. I would have stayed longer, but she was smoking a cigarette and my throat started to close up, so I had to move away. I didn't tell her to stop smoking though. I just moved away from where the smoke was blowing. Funny thing, her brother was the one who owns the house, and he was selling it then, that's why Patti needed a roommate. She was only paying $100 to her brother for rent and taking care of all the utilities. Patti said during the interview in fact that if I hadn't come along, she would be living in her van with the cats and dog. So, I would have been glad to help. While I was there, she said one of us should play the lotto, win and buy the house off her brother. Then the other could rent the room. I laughed. I thought she was kidding around.

And Mulder is not a medium-sized dog. I told her that. She told me he was medium-sized and I saw his picture and I thought he was a beagle or something. I can handle a beagle. She maintains that he is medium-sized. But Mulder is mixed with german shepherd and rottweiler, both of which are considered large dogs. Mulder's not medium-sized. He's only 5 months old, he's still got a lot of growing to do. Patti's going to find out too. And she mentioned Mulder's mom was a biter. That kinda worried me too, especially with little dogs and a dumb owner like Patti not knowing about the breeds in Mulder before getting him. She cannot even control Mulder. He walks all over her. She got upset because I would yell at Mulder, well when she wasn't around, Mulder minded me! He behaved. He didn't mind her very well. Barely paid any attention to her. So her method of being quiet was not working. And when I took things quietly like she wanted, Mulder became disobedient and unclassy again.

Well, Monday things began to get just a wee bit heated. Patti had to work, so I thought I would help her out. She went to her morning shift and she loved that client (she works as a caregiver). She got along well with that client. Then she had to go to her afternoon shift, and she did not like that client very well because the husband was controlling. So I thought I would do her a favor and have something ready for her to eat when she got back. I asked her what she wanted and she told me french toast would be good enough. So just before she was due back, I made her french toast and had it ready and warm by the time she got home. She seemed appreciative at first, and she liked the toast, she just seemed a bit on the snappy side, and I just figured it was because she'd had a bad evening. I asked her how the french toast was and she said it was good. Then she kinda muttered "didn't I say that already?" I answered "I don't know, maybe." she said "I think I already said that." That kinda struck me as coming off a bit aggressive, but again I figured she'd just had a hard evening so I didn't say anything. I figured by the next morning she was going to be the sweet little lady she was the day before. I asked her if she had any kids and she said "Nope!" She was married but thank GOD she never got pregnant. She asked me if I had kids and I said no. Never even tried to have kids. Then she said something odd and outlandish. She said "then you have a very boring life don't you." When she said that, I thought at first she was kidding, I looked for some sign of laughter but there was none. That struck me as strange she would say something like that and be serious about it, but again I thought she's just having a bad evening. We all have our moments we just can't get along afterall. So I just carried on the conversation in a friendly way. I responded "Unless you count my travels, I guess it would seem boring."

The next day, Tuesday, when Patti was done with work, she asked me if I wanted to go shopping with her and I said yes. So I got dressed up and we went out. She had to pick up some pet food and we went shopping for ourselves. I bought food for the both of us and paid for it with my own money, and Patti kicked like a steer because I was buying food for me that I liked. I bought a box of cookies to snack on and I never heard the end of it from her! As time rolled on, I discovered Patti was very controlling and impatient, and that kind of behavior, coming from someone who is obviously batshit crazy, does not make for a peaceful roommate. I tried to get along, but I was discovering Patti was a very immature asshole. Tuesday night, I had gotten sick, and was in the bathroom (I think I was food poisoned because Patti is so dirty). Well the toilet would not flush, so I went to ask Patti if she had something to fix it. She gave me a 30-minute lecture basically saying over and over again "I've never had a problem with that toilet in the 10 months I've lived here!" Well, how often does she use that toilet??? She has her own upstairs. It just seemed like an eternity before she finally told me where I could find the tools I needed to fix the toilet. She kept accusing me of trying to flush things I shouldn't have been flushing, and I told her I didn't try to flush anything that didn't need it! She still maintained that I tried to put something else in there, like a feminine pad or something.

I sensed then that this deal is not going to work out. When I first met Patti (as with all people) she seemed so nice and sweet. But now it was becoming clear she had been putting up a peaceful front to get me trapped in there for some reason. I'll tell you why, she told me this herself. She was looking for someone to pay rent (ie. the mortgage) on that place so she could have a free place to live. Or cheap. She was cheap! She was a penny-pincher! And mean-ass to boot. Tuesday night, I was fixing myself a midnight snack, as I do sometimes, it was grilled cheese sandwiches. Comfort food, which Patti told me she likes. I was still trying to get used to her stove. It was a gas stove and I had not used a gas stove in years. So my sandwiches got a bit dark. Not like charcoal burned, but dark. Well, just as I was finishing up, Patti came downstairs and had a mean look on her face. I thought maybe I had woken her up, so I apologized for that. She asked me in a nasty tone "What are you doing?!" I calmly said "Just fixing myself a snack." I did not even use anything of her's. I used my own food that I bought with my own money. Next thing I know, I am getting a 40-minute lecture as to why I should not be eating the things I eat, and she told me to give my sandwich to her dog. I told her I couldn't I made it for myself. She says "thats too bad!" She forced me to give the sandwich to Mulder. She stood between me and my room until she was done lecturing. She would not let me go into my room. I began to eat while she was talking, and she started mocking the way I ate. At first I laughed because again, I thought she was kidding around. But she had this crazy look on her face and said "No, I'm serious!" All of a sudden, I felt trapped and threatened. She was nuts!! To end all nuts!

I know! I should have told her to go fuck herself and take the sandwich and go into my room anyway! But I was so hell-bent on making this work. My father always accuses me of being too ornery and says that I can never get along with anyone, and I guess I was trying to prove him wrong in this case. But this time, I don't think I was totally to blame. Patti is just an asshole with not an ounce of patience. I'm very surprised she even makes it as a caregiver. I would think with a job like that, a person would have to have patience. She kept saying to me "wash your hands!" I was like "This is the last person to talk about someone else not being clean!" After seeing the way she put Mulder's dirty food dish down where I was preparing food! Not to mention the sponge she used to wash the dishes, she also used the same sponge to wash the counter tops. She has a dishwasher, and I was excited to finally be moving into a place that has a dishwasher. During the interview, I mentioned that and she said excitedly "Yeah! I have a dishwasher!" But it wasn't until after I moved in that I found out she does not use it! And she would not let me use it. She said it costs too much to run with the extra water and electricity. If she had mentioned that during the interview, and she didn't, I would have held it against that place and not moved in. She said she loves comfort food, well she doesn't. She's a health food fanatic. Comfort food is like mac and cheese, chili, mashed potatoes and gravy, and chocolate. Well, she hates all that stuff.

Well, Wednesday her brother came over to get the rest of his things and move out. I saw him using the same sponge, that we use to clean the dishes, on some dirty old bins that had probably been in the barn for 10 years and had all kinds of cobwebs, chicken shit and cat piss all over them. Then I had to use that sponge to clean the dishes! YUK!!! I refused to eat anything there after seeing him do that! At that point, I didn't think I was going to be there that long anyway, and if I had been, I was going to go to the market and pick up things that I wouldn't need dishes to prepare! But I sensed that this roommate was not going to work with me. I knew I was going to be let go that day, long before Patti said anything. She also got pissed because she told me on the first day to cover my food in the microwave, and I forgot to do it when I put some soup in there. She said it looks like there's been an explosion in there. Well, I didn't know it. I offered to clean up the mess right away and she said "Well, my brother is still moving his stuff." so I figured I would wait until he is done moving his stuff and then clean the microwave. Most of that day I spent in my room, so I could stay out of her brother's way. I figured I could clean the microwave that night when he settled down or something. Well, Patti got pissed again because an hour later, I hadn't cleaned the microwave. She then told me that her brother said instead of moving in, maybe I should be moving out. I said "OK." I'll tell you, I was not at all upset to be leaving there. I was beginning to root for Bozeman again after living there! That's how bad Patti was! She was a lunatic!! She said "I have no control over it" and I was thinking "Like hell you didn't!" LORD knows what lies she told her brother about me. Yes the microwave was dirty, but I said I would clean it. I was just waiting for her brother to sit down and watch TV or something, stop moving his things so I would not be in his way.

That's what I mean about Patti not having patience. She kept fussing because she had to keep repeating to me things she thought I should have known. But I didn't know. And I have never been the type of person you can tell something to one time and it sticks in my mind. Unless it's something that really stands out for whatever reason. Like when Patti said I had a boring life, that struck me as strange coming from her. So that stood out. It told me this woman is either having a very bad day, or she's loony as a jaybird! I tried not to think she was loony, but it soon became apparent she was! With me, she would have had a good thing going. I was going to get her some furniture, ma was going to copy some of her British shows and put them on disks for her. Patti even griped about me going to a used furniture place and getting furniture there. She said sometimes they'll have bugs on them. And guess what happened my first night there. She wanted to bring in this old easy chair from the barn that when I saw it, was covered with spider webs, chicken shit and probably cat piss and it STUNK!! She wanted me to sit in that, and I said "I'd have to clean it first!" I tried to clean it, but it would not clean easily. So she took that chair. But I could still smell it! It stunk up the whole living room. And there she was complaining about getting used furniture! So Patti is the queen of double standards too! That was why I gladly left Bozeman!

Losing that room did not bother me at all. I was glad to be getting out of there. The only thing that bothered me about leaving there was knowing I was not going to be able to cuddle my babies again for a while. And when I thought of that, it hit me hard. I got depressed. I wept for about 5 minutes, pulled myself together and got the rest of my stuff packed. After I was done weeping, I said to myself "This must be what hell is like." LOL! Knowing I may never have to see Patti again after I left there got me happy and motivated again. The first 2 days with her was great. I thought this place was sent by GOD. But the last 2 days there were hell!! Patti really was nothing more than a common bully! I'm going to laugh if she winds up homeless. She really belongs in an institution, having her brain examined. And hopefully fixed. I thank GOD too she never had kids!! That was the only smart thing she's probably ever done.

Made It!

Well, I made it to my new  place. Right now, I am typing this blog on my tablet because I have my computer in storage. But for now, I seem to be doing very good. I have lived here now for 2 days, and I am still trying to get accustomed. It's not easy! But in the end, I have farm fresh eggs. And let me tell you, you ain't had eggs until you've had them straight from the farm. No chemicals, hormones or preservatives! I am still trying to work out a routine that will be comfortable for the both of us. For example, today Patti had to work. Poor gal was running from Aberdeen and back and again to Montesano. So I decided to take over kitchen duties. No matters to me, I love working in the kitchen anyway. The only thing I don't like out here are the bugs, and I have to leave at least one door open so her cats can go in and out at will. So every bug in the area takes it as an open invitation to come in! Thats just one of those things I'll have to adjust to. But I won't be baking any cakes soon! I can't! Before I could even get the icing on, it'll have a smorgasbord of flying insects stuck to it! LOL!

I'll be fine, I just need to adjust is all. Having a roommate that is also kinda set in her ways as much as I am, is something I am just not used to. But now the thing about putting dirty pet dishes where I prepare food for us is another thing. I'll have to discuss it with her. The chickens roam the grounds all day, and leave crap everywhere. Patti's dog's dish is out there too, which is fine, but I need to speak to her about bringing it in and putting it on the kitchen counters. That's dirty! I am not used to that. If  Anna had done that, I'd be screaming. Patti is not used to screaming, so I have to try an approach it with a little more finesse.

That Old, Itchy Feeling Inside

I've got that now. That itchy feeling you get when you cannot wait for something. Well, I cannot wait to move out! The guy who has Minnie and Vegas, he called me last night and asked me if I wanted to come and see them. Ma was standing right there and I asked her if it was OK. She has to take me. Now that they are home, I cannot use the van anymore. She looked at me and shouted "Right NOW???!!!!" I didn't want to get into it with this man on the phone, so I just told him that now would probably not be a good time to. I think he heard ma yell. LOL! I just told him I found a place and will be coming for my babies on Saturday. He said that's OK, and he will let my little ones know I found a place and we will be together again. I just cannot wait to see them again.

You know ma told me that she had also been doing a lot of praying as well. She prayed that this would all work out for the better. It may have even been ma that clinched the deal. Patti was discussing turning the cable off next month. I told her that's fine because I found I don't watch much TV anyways. Not lately. She happened to mention she likes watching a lot of British TV with ma sitting there. Ma and I looked at each other and I said "Ma! Another soul-mate for you!" LOL! All of a sudden, she and ma were talking all about British programs that they both like. So she and ma hit it off very well! But Patti told me she was glad I decided to move in. And I like her. I really do, she's pretty cool. And I love the place I will be staying. It's BIG!! And it's on a farm with a river running out back. My kind of place! Patti doesn't even care that I don't have my security deposit now! That is what leads me to believe this was sent by GOD! Since I don't have my security deposit yet. She said she's willing to work with me on that.

Now, the people from my last apartment are saying they don't know how much I will be getting back. I know the oven door needed more cleaning, but they are also saying I left a big stain on the carpet. I was like "WHAT???" That carpet was professionally cleaned, and they got the receipt. There was NO stain on that carpet anywhere! Unless they put it there after I left. I don't know, but that would be the only way there would be stains on that carpet. Generally if you get a professional to clean it, it's going to be done good. Anyway, they are now way past the deadline of 10 days, and I got no written letter saying why I won't get my security deposit back, so they are obligated to give it all to me. That's the law, even in Montana! Now, watch them try to weedle out of that. I know they will! I lived there long enough to know a lot of their dirty little secrets.

Well, thanks to GOD, I no longer am totally reliant on that security deposit coming back. Patti is so sweet, she's motivated to work with me on that. I'm telling you, this place was a GOD send!! Sometimes I seem so happy it scares me. The joy of having my own space again, having my babies back with me, and the area it's self almost seems like a dream come true. Almost like it's too good. I keep pinching myself shouting "Hey! Wake up!!" Kinda like those dreams where I am getting large sums of money, and I can actually feel it in my hands. I can also feel myself getting excited too. Then I wake up, and I feel so low because it is then I realize it's only a dream. LOL! I keep waiting for myself to wake up from this one too. But I know this is the real thing, this is GOD answering my prayer. And with ma also having prayed for me, I know that doubled the power. I'm glad I waited. Of course having a remote beachfront cottage would have been better, but living on a farm with a lot of animals, that's the next best thing for me. And the place is just dreamy too!

The moral of the story? Never underestimate the power of GOD!

Answered Prayers

Well, my prayers were answered. I found a place and it is just about perfect! I love it there! It is fairly close to Ocean Shores, but it is not in Ocean Shores. It's in a town called Brady, and it's a small town. The woman I will be staying with lives in the country and has dogs, cats, chickens and pretty soon, horses. I can hardly wait to move in! The back of the property even has a river running down it. Ma said we both could probably go fishing there. I truly believe with this place, my prayer was answered. It is just about perfect! She took me on a little tour through the property. There is a shop on the property and she showed me in the back of the shop where her brother has his record collection. It looks just like an old used record store!! He has records up the ying-yang!! And that's after having sold about $600 worth to a record store.

Well, I think she and I will get along well. She basically goes her way and I go mine. She loves to eat, I love to cook. And she hates to cook. So I figure I can make this work really well by fixing her dinner and having it waiting for her when she gets home from work. I also get to keep my own dogs. I need to see how this will work. She has a large mutt, and it's crossed with husky, german shepherd and rottweiler, all 3 of those breeds have a very high prey-drive. I'd worry a bit where my dogs are concerned. Minnie is so sweet and easy-going, Vegas will probably scare this dog to death. I just cannot wait till I can get back together with my babies. It's been like Hell without them.

This place is just perfect for me and I love animals. I can easily take care of the chickens, dogs and horses while she is at work. The cats UGH!! Having them running around the house is something I am just going to have to get used to, as I don't really like cats in the house. But that is just a minor thing. I mean, I've lived with cats before. I guess I can do it again. It's just going to take me a while to adjust to it. At least they aren't no damn tabbies!! One of them in fact looks like a cat I used to have when I was 7 years old. I also love the fact we have all that marine air coming in from the ocean. I miss that. So it doesn't get too hot there. In fact, piddling around that house today, I was chilled! And it was hot in Olympia today. So that was a relief!

Seems my prayer was answered. I saw another house in Puyallup, and the woman there also breeds yorkshire terriers. But really, that was about the only thing I liked about that household. I don't really like Puyallup, and she has a man living with her and I would have had to share the bathroom with him. That would have sucked!! They seemed like a nice enough couple, but compared to the woman I met today, she was a stick-in-the-mud. This woman, her name is Patti, she seems like the fun-loving type. I like that. She doesn't even mind it that I have some bouts of depression. She said whenever I feel depressed to just let her know and she'll find ways of taking me out to have some fun. I'll tell you, she sounds like a LOT of fun! I'm going to love it there! I may never want to leave actually. It's like screw Seaside! LOL! I've found my place! She's also OK with my sister coming over for the holidays. So that's cool. I think even my sis would love it there! It is just such a lovely place. It's like a miniature wonderland!

Well, I've already left some of my baggage there, and I will be moving in as soon as I can get my bed over there, which will be this Saturday. My room is actually quite large. It has a lot of closet space. I just cannot wait! I am so excited, I may not be able to sleep tonight! Thank you GOD for answering my prayers favorably!!!

New INXS Emerging

Well yesterday Ciaran Gribbin announced to all his friends and fans on Facebook that he is now working in the studio with Andrew and Kirk creating more songs for INXS. YIPPEEE!!! New songs from INXS at long last!! And I hope he does mean NEW songs. Not INXS rehashing their old songs. Well, Ciaran is a good guy. I like him a lot. Maybe even better than JD in some ways. JD was a great singer, and most likely still is. But I like Ciaran because he actually interacts with his fans. On Facebook, he has actually "liked" some of my posts. He doesn't seem stuck up or full of himself like other celebs are. I haven't actually met the guy, but I have interacted with him several times on Facebook. He seems real nice too. And besides that, he is a great singer. INXS made a great choice picking him to be their lead singer. I only hope it lasts this time and they don't just chuck him away like they did JD. So if Ciaran is in the studio with INXS's top writers now, creating new songs to be sung, I say Go for it! Best of luck to all of you! I cannot wait to hear these new songs.

The downfall to all of this is that INXS may not be going on tour in the USA ever again. That would suck!! I missed out on the last concert that came here because my silly sis wanted to move to Bozeman. Sometimes I could just strangle her for even suggesting moving there! LOL! But anyway, INXS has lately done most of it's touring in Australia, not abroad. I don't know why. I guess because the guys feel they are getting too old to travel. They may be older, but they are still good. And good-looking too. Timmy is still as handsome as he always was. Well, he is to me. hehe! I just hope that they keep this guy Ciaran. Some people don't like him, but I think he's great. Hopefully he will take INXS in directions they've never been before. And I do hope they decide to come to the USA again soon. I missed their last tour, but hopefully I will get another chance, and this time have a chance to hear Ciaran sing live.

Well, usually a move means I won't be writing much in this blog, but I have been keeping tabs on where I've been looking for places. Ma is getting as desperate as I am to get me out of this house. Believe me when I say I want out of here as bad as she wants me out, if not more so! I'd rather have my own place where I can have my own dogs and live happily ever after. Here, I have nothing. I have no room of my own, no privacy when I need it, no dogs, nothing. I don't even have my own place to keep food. Every square inch of this house is in use. They have food items that are expired and are keeping them. What for? I don't know. There is a can of biscuits in the fridge that exploded out the bottom, and it is still in there now, stuck like cement to a compartment on the door.

Grandma was a hoarder as well. Now I am afraid I may be on the path to hoarding myself. I collect paper items. I have pictures that I made over the course of years still stashed away. They are what makes up about 3/2rds of what is in my bins. Why I keep them, I don't know. Most of them have no significance. I just keep them just in case. As for the apartment search, ma says I should probably start looking in other places besides the coast. It's going to be hard. The coast is where I want to move to. I keep hoping and praying something will turn up. I got another offer yesterday for a duplex in Brinnon, which is a town I've never even heard of. But the person who wrote me sounded a lot like a scammer. Her message was very vague, and when I tried to get more info from her, she was like "Oops! I'm sorry I rented the place already." I was like "Yeah, I bet you never had a place to begin with!" There is only one other place I'd want to move to beside the coast, it's an area I am sure I can also get Anna to agree to move to. I've been trying to find something there, but it's been not so easy. The problem is the pets. Most people nowadays don't want to allow pets in rentals. You can thank irresponsible people for that too! I hate irresponsible people!! More than any other kind of people in the world!! That's why this landlord won't allow pets in this building, because the previous tenants had pets (probably cats and big dogs) that tore up the place. This house had to be completely redone inside. So she said no pets. That sucks!!! So now my dogs have to stay with someone else. I cannot even cuddle them anymore.

I spoke to ma today and she never mentioned anything about finding an apartment there in Reno. Maybe they didn't. I need to stay in town here at least until my job is finished. I hope I can, and I hope I am still getting along well with ma and John by the end of that job. I try to be a perfect angel here, and stay out of their way for the most part, but it's rather hard when you don't have your own room. Nowhere to go for complete privacy.

When To Make The Move

Ahh! This waiting is killing me. But I think it's better if I not only wait for the security deposit from my old apartment to come back, but also the money I will be making on this job. That will give me more. Besides, I am not 100% certain I will be getting my entire security and pet deposits back. There was still that oven door I was not able to totally wipe clean. But I tried everything! Except a razor blade. Moving to Montana was just the biggest damn mistake I ever made in my life. It messed me up in every way. Including mentally. I guess that's what happens when you move to some place you just don't belong. Damn summers were just too hot and dry for me. I hated it! And the winters were cold and dry too. I just cannot handle those kind of extremes.

Well, I am finding out some interesting things about this place. You know what they have at the Wendy's here? They have 100+ flavors of soda. Sometimes I go there just for the soda machine. It's got one of those big touchscreens where you just touch an image of a flavor and it dispenses it in your soda. Way to go! I don't normally spend that much time in fast food places, but I want to try all 100+ flavors while I can. Except for peach, I never saw the point in peach-flavored soda! YUK!!! In all those flavors the one I don't see is huckleberry. And that's the one main thing I miss about Montana! I used to be able to just go a few blocks and there was a place I could get a huckleberry soda. I think it's strictly a Montana product. I ain't ever going back to Montana again! Not unless I have to. And it would have to be for a damn good reason!

I followed another lead this morning (yes, I still have to look), it was a lone house with one bedroom and one bathroom, and it sounded great. The landlord was going to let me keep my babies, and the house was just big enough for one person. It was also in my price range. The problem was that they require that I make 3 times the rent amount each month, and I don't do that. That alone is what is going to make finding a place of my own nearly impossible. Shoot!! I don't want to move to Reno! I just escaped Montana!! Moving to Reno is going to put me right back in that hole again!! WAAA!!! Maybe I will get lucky and ma and John will change their mind and decide to move to Salem again instead. Pray for a miracle!

I know this much, when it comes to the Oregon coast, I've learned to avoid any ads from Willett Investments. They're only great if you don't have any pets. Most of their rental homes and apartments do not allow pets at all. My ma said what I should do is look for people giving away fixer mobiles instead. She knows how to fix them up and she can help me a bit. She can tell me what to do and I'll do the work. I'm fairly good with a hammer and screwdriver. I've worked with them before when I built my bird cages. Those would have been finished too, if only I had been able to get some acrylic to go on the sides.

Got Another Lead!

Well, I got another lead for someone looking for a roommate. It's closer to Ocean Shores too. So I will love the area. There are just a couple of problems I have with the place. One, the person living there has a pit bull. Even though she says her pit bull is nice and friendly, they can still occasionally snap. I'll have to not let it out at the same time with my babies. It's not so much the pit bull I fear. It's Vegas. Vegas might try to charge at it, and if the pit bull is having a bad day, it could be disasterous for Vegas. Another thing, she's young and has a boyfriend also living there, and the one and only bathroom is shared among us all. One of the reasons I never got serious about getting married is because I HATE sharing my bathroom with a man. When I spoke to this young woman, she told me if she could find someone to turn part of the one bedroom into a bathroom she would do it, because she too hates sharing a bathroom.

Thinking about all this, maybe this isn't the best lead for me. Even though it is closer to Ocean Shores. I think perhaps I should keep looking. Though my search should be put on hold while I do this job. This job is going to last a month, and I need to be where I can easily get to and from work. I am getting a little bit depressed, not being able to have my babies with me. And when I want to see them, I cannot because I have to have permission from the people who have them now to come and see them, and they do not always answer their inbox messages right away. Don't get me wrong, they are great people. I am very appreciative to them for taking care of my babies. It's just that they're so busy, and it's frustrating when I want to see Minnie and Vegas. I just cannot wait till we are all together again. But perhaps this lead just is not for me. I might have to be a little bit picky in this case just because. But I am going to look at the place tomorrow. Who knows? Maybe I will be compatable with it. I feel like I need to see the situation before I commit.

*********************************UPDATE************************************

The place was rented to someone else. Somehow I am not too disappointed. The person seems nice and all, and she did wish me well in my search, but those things working against me, and the fact I still do not have money for a down payment, well, I guess it just isn't my time yet.

Oh Wow! This is Awesome!!!

I was just writing earlier this morning about how GOD wants me here for a while longer, and I could not figure out why. Well, guess what happened. I got a JOB!!! It's selling Smartphones. I get a free Smartphone, plus $12 an hour. I get to keep the Smartphone at the end of the job too. Well, I figure I can sell the Smartphone. I can get $250 for it easily, unused. I figure the money from this job will help me get a new place. Maybe even an RV. That would be cool!! I can at least get some things that I will need.

My sis and I have been chatting a lot back and forth. I told her about my religious experience last night. She's been trying to find another place too. She said living in that building was never meant to be permanent. The roommate deal that she had going this weekend fell through, and that is a shame! I know she wants out of that place as much as I did. Not out of Montana, just out of that apartment. I was hoping the roommate deal would stay, but that guy already found someone else and he could not allow Odessa to move in. Bummer! It's so easy to get tired of living in a place where you are surrounded by so many crazy people. That's why I know Anna wants out of there.

Oh and here's a pip, apparently I am supposed to be "jealous" of Yvette! LOL! That's what she said. In order for me to be jealous of anyone, they would have to have something that I don't have that I want more than anything. That would be a remote oceanfront cottage on the west coast. Has she got it? I don't think so. What has she got? Not a smidgen of talent that I have. She made some cute earrings and sold them at the yard sale. Big deal! I've made better earrings myself from scratch. She has 2 kitties, which I don't want at all, and loony friends like Kim H. who is dumber than a box of rocks and uses her as a security blanket to hide her evil actions. The only person I could imagine being jealous of her would be Lady Gaga, because she is so loony she makes Lady Gaga seem normal. I not only made my own jewelry, I write stories for children and young adults, I can cook anything from scratch and it'd be good, I do sculptures, and I have my Metazoic website that has been praised by big-name scientists including Dougal Dixon and David Attenborough. Top that one!

Really, it's a sin to envy anyone. Its one of the 10 commandments that you shall not envy what your neighbor has. Well, it's not worded in that particular way, but that's the jist of it. So really, I envy no one. Well, I told Kathy that I envy her because she has Casey, he's such a cute and funny little guy! I really miss him. I miss Kathy too, she was pretty cool. But really, I could get a pomeranian if I wanted to, and I did used to have some, I had 3 of them in fact at one time. They're one of my favorite breeds. I used to have a friend that raised poms, and had every color you could ever imagine in poms, including wolf-sable, marked like a little miniature keeshond. I always said one of these days, I was going to get a pom colored like that. Someday I will too. She wants a lot for those too. Last time she had them, she was selling those for $800, and that was back in 2001. That was the last time I saw her too. I found out though that she still lives in Lakewood and still breeds pomeranians, and has some cuties too. She's even helping a friend of her's raise chihuahuas. I think while I am here, I will get back in touch with her. LOL! See how she's doing.

You Know What I Believe?

Before I left Montana, I asked GOD to guide me in my journey. From leaving the steps of the old apartment to the roadtrip to staying here with my ma and stepfather. GOD spoke to me last night after I had written that update on this blog. HE told me that it is not my time yet. When I am meant to find a place, I am sure HE will lead me there. I figured it is just as well, I don't even have any money to put down as a security deposit. And it would not be fair for me to ask the landlord to hold the place while I wait to get the money. I know I didn't let myself rely too heavily on yesterday's lead, but I was still a little bit upset thinking about it being a beachfront cottage and all, and how happy I would have been there. But that was when GOD spoke to me last night. Maybe HE has something bigger and better in store for me. Who knows? But between now and when I get my security deposit back from the old apartment, I am going to be doing some heavy praying. Or at least until the next time I get paid. Even beyond that! LOL! I need a place NOW! But if GOD says I am not ready then I am not ready. I put all my faith in HIM.

When HE spoke to me last night, it actually lifted that feeling of despair I was feeling once I got that e-mail from that person. I almost wanted to write back to her and ask her if she gave the new renters the right phone number, where she gave me the wrong one. LOL! But I didn't. It really does not matter at this point. I think the good LORD has other plans for me. So, I will just wait and see where HE leads me. I just have this feeling inside me that the place HE chooses is going to be a lot better. Though I cannot imagine what could be any better than a remote beach cottage! It's what I wanted.

Before I moved to Bozeman, I thought the change I would get there would be the best possible thing that could ever happen to me. Now that I have given it a try, I realize I was wrong. I was just not happy in Bozeman. And it has really nothing at all to do with the people. Though there were too many people there for my personal taste. It was more of a climate thing. I had trouble getting used to the hot summers again and exceedingly cold winters. Though I have to tell you Montana just has the biggest bunch of assholes per capita. I've never seen a group so obsessed with what other people think of their state. And good people like Bree die early. She was taken far too early, I miss her. She always gave me such good advice about GOD. I miss that. She was a loving, caring, godly person. I know she is up there now. She was actually the first friend I made in Montana, and I guess I was expecting everyone to be like her. I met some nice people there, don't get me wrong. But they were very few in numbers, compared to how many assholes were there. I know every place has assholes. There are a lot of those here (most of them are immigrants originally from California; and I don't just mean people from other countries). It just seems that Montana had more than it's share of assholes. Maybe it's because I relate to people here better.

I don't know, I'm just not a people-person. I would be happiest if I never had to look at another person again as long as I live. LOL! People are just too judgmental, and really no one has a right to judge anyone but GOD. But that's human nature, to judge someone before getting to know them. Its not something that is unusual to our species either. Every animal fears things they know nothing about, or things that are different from themselves. It's actually a survival mechanism. Though I don't see how a fat chick like myself could possibly hurt anyone, except maybe to sit on them. LOL!

I was chatting with Anna this morning, and she said I should just forget this apartment business and buy myself an RV. I saw some nice ones in Missoula! But in Oregon, they are practically being given away. I always dreamed of buying an RV and just living on the road. That way, not only can I move away if I get tired of the neighbors, but I can take my home with me and not have to pack anything. I'd love that! The downfall is I'd have to get rid of all my furniture, but RVs usually come with their own furniture that is bolted down. Another downfall is I cannot have a fishtank in an RV. That would be impossible. I'm not even sure I could ever get my snakes back again. They are staying with a friend now because I could not bring them to Montana. I'd love to have them back, but I cannot as long as I am living with ma and John. And I am not sure they'd take well to living in an RV either. But I would love to live in an RV, and just go from one RV park to another all year round. I love to travel, that would be my dream lifestyle.

And So The Hunt Continues

I am still looking for a place, and I got another lead today. But this time I am playing it safe. Well, not too safe. LOL! I have to show some of my true character in order to not shock this person when I get there. Anyway, I got another offer today. It's an A-frame cottage on the beach and it actually almost sounds too good to be true. She was OK with what I offered for rent. She has a dog, and I told her about Minnie and Vegas. We wrote back and forth a couple of times, and I've been waiting to hear from her for hours. This is why I did not let myself rely too heavily on this lead this time. I made that mistake this past weekend and it ended in disappointment. I'm not going to let that happen again. So even though I wrote a couple times to this person, I am still looking for a place in desperate mode. But no longer will I rely too heavily on any other leads. Because it just puts me in misery when the person decides to change their mind. I haven't heard from this person in hours. And honestly, I don't think I'll ever hear from her again. I might have scared her off. Well! She mentioned sea otters, and I like sea otters. She said she gets to see them from the back door of the cottage. Like I said, it really sounds too good to be true! But then again, so did the place we had in Ocean Shores, at first. That place we spent 4 years in, and would have stayed longer too, if Anna didn't get different ideas!

She sent me a phone number to call her, and when I dialed the number, it wasn't her's. It went to some mortgage or investment company, something like that. So, I was beginning to think this was another scammer. I don't know. I could wait to see if I hear from her again tomorrow. I've been wrong before, I could be again. I'd really like to see this place. If it does turn out to be legitimate, it could be my dream place! I may never want to leave! LOL! But this is supposed to only be temporary. No more than perhaps a year and a half. Then I move to the Oregon coast. I just need a place because I want to be reunited with my babies again, and I want to get my things out of storage. Well, most of that stuff can be sold. But I would like most of my stuff with me again. I mean really! Don't get me wrong, I love my ma and stepfather, and am grateful to them for letting me stay with them for a while. But I don't want to be in their shadow forever. After all, they have their lives and I have mine. And I just know the place they will move into in Reno is not going to be one that allows pets. Knowing them the way I do, that's all they ever move into. And I don't want to move to Reno anyway. I wish ma wouldn't! I may never see her again.

I had another offer from a friend in Texas, if all else fails. And I am so desperate right now, I might just take her up on her offer. I don't like Texas! I haven't been there since I was a little kid, but one thing I remember about it, it was H-O-T!!!! They see, not just days of 100+ degree weather, they see actually weeks, even months, of 100+ degree weather!! Not to mention it is hot there all year round. I wouldn't like that at all. I just escaped from Montana, that was almost that hot. Their summer is almost that extreme. Plus they have tarantulas, scorpions and venomous snakes there aplenty. It scares me. But if she could live there, then perhaps I can too. I just want a temporary place to stay and this friend said I can use her master bedroom. However, I asked her how much would she want for rent, and I haven't heard from her since. I do hope she is OK. I need an answer, or something! If she changed her mind, I'd like to know it.

I tell everyone I "escaped" from Montana. To me, Montana was a prison, and I was an inmate. I was chatting with Katrina, one of my friends here, and I told her I feel like I've been released from prison. If I had stayed in Montana any longer I would have gone crazy. LOL! Katrina knows I'm almost halfway there anyway. I told another friend today, Kimi, that I just escaped from Montana. She was like "what do you mean 'escaped'?" Again, I told her that I feel like I have just been released from a prison. I still feel bad that we left Ocean Shores. We never should have done that! If Anna wanted to move to a more populated area, we should have moved to Seaside. They have more stuff there. Not as much as Bozeman, but enough. More people though means a higher crime rate. That's what I loved about Ocean Shores, there was no crime there. I'd rather live in a town where there is no history of crime and have to travel 20 miles to the best shopping in the area, than live in a town where there is so many people, crowded, and higher incidences of crime. I'm not much liking Olympia. Too many people. That's what I loved about that house we lived in in Ocean Shores. Anna must be a bigger people-person than I thought she was, because she likes cities. I don't. I'd be happy living in an area where my nearest neighbor is miles away. Remoteness is great for me.

*********************************UPDATE***********************************
I just heard back from the person with the beachfront cottage. She admitted to giving me the wrong phone number. UGH!! And by consequence, someone else already stepped in and rented the place. Darn it! I wonder if she gave them the right phone number. Well, it's just a good thing I did not rely so heavily on this lead. When I realized this afternoon that she must have given me the wrong number, I knew then I was screwed! One way or another.

I Never Said This Would Be Easy

I never said finding a place would be a breeze, and in fact it's been very rough. The reason is because I have Vegas and Minnie. Well, I'm going to get Minnie registered as a therapy animal. I did get her because of depression, and having her makes me feel better. Vegas would not really qualify as a therapy animal. He barks way too much! LOL! Well, he's my baby boy. I've had him since he was born. I love him a lot, and I love Minnie too. This past week, getting in touch with the people who have them has been difficult, but at least I found out why. They had doctor's appointments several days last week and the appointments are in Seattle. So they had to drive all that way and by the time they got home, it was late and they were tired. So they could not return my calls. Well, at least I know my babies are taken care of very well. I was feeling down when I could not see them. But I made up for it this weekend, I spent a lot of time with them, and got to hug and kiss them both again. I sure do miss having them with me. But the landlord here will not even entertain the notion of having pets in this house. All because the previous tenants had pets and they messed up the carpet. That is why I sooooooo hate irresponsible people. More than anything!!

Well, either way I am so glad to be away from some of the weirdos back in Bozeman. The only thing I truly feel bad about is my sis living there all by herself without me. Some of the people there have been taking their anger and rage out on her that they feel for me. But Anna, GOD love her, she's not letting it get to her. I'm so proud of her. No one has any right to take any of their frustration out on her. They want to get pissed off, keep it focused on me. But LEAVE ANNA ALONE!!! She didn't do anything to any of you! I have my fun with comments like the one I got on YouTube by one of them. LOL!! That one made my day! Especially the part about eating pussy, and "good riddance dogface!!" LOL!! I had to laugh at those! I like dogs, their faces are adorable. That is also what makes lemurs so cute is their dog-like faces. So being called "dogface" does not bother me in the slightest. If someone wants to insult me by using an animal, they're going to have to do FAR worse than that! And it's not going to be easy. hehehe! :) I've been called it all. A whale, a hog, a pig, a cow, a hippo, a horse, an elephant, even a dog. None of those bother me at all because they are all animals I love, and I find a lot of positive, good things in those animals too. There is only one group of animals that if anyone ever referred to me as them it would really piss me off. And no one would ever guess what they are, because it would be the last group of animals you would expect to be insulting to anyone. But to me, they are. Very much so!

Most of the time, I just laugh at people who try to piss me off, because it's not that easy to piss me off in the first place. Its funny though watching a bunch of butt-hurt people try so hard though. I'd been down though for the most part only because I miss my babies. But seeing them today, I feel so much better. I feel rejuvenated and happy again. Well the people back in the apartments in Bozeman all hate my guts now, but really, I don't even care. I was told about the person who sent the pages from this blog to them, and I know who it was. That is why I won't let any of this get me down or shut me up. I never allow anything that the dirty dozen starts take over any portion of my life. I've come to expect a lot of backlash when it comes to my blog, I've learned to live with it. If I lose friends then oh well! LOL! They were never real friends in the first place. Besides I am not a people-person. Never have been. At least I haven't been since I've been in the third grade. Too bad the dirty dozen didn't reveal my blog to them sooner. Actually, I thought they already knew about my blog! I went into the dog park almost daily saying "I've just been writing about this in my blog". But by the time the dirty dozen had revealed it to them, I was already almost on my way out. So :p Too bad for them. But keep getting me more views! It gets me more money. :) And yes, I am still very comfortable in my position of free speech. Anna is a strong person too, just like me. She's used to crazies. She went to school with a lot of them, as she reminded me of today. Sometimes I wish I was back there with her, because there is safety in numbers. But she assured me I need not worry. Well, if I didn't like her, I wouldn't worry. But I do, so I worry. LOL!

Well, I never said finding a place was going to be easy. I had one in my midst, I told everyone about it. It was a roommate situation, and the guy lived on 10 acres just outside of Port Angeles. When I wrote to him, he sounded like a fun person, had a cute sense of humor. He wanted to meet, so we set up a time and place and were going to meet each other there at a specified time. We made all the arrangements, I was willing to go through with it, all was ready. I was sure we would get along good with each other, but then he dropped a sudden bomb. Apparently, he did not do all the research before contacting me about being a roommate, and I didn't find out until the last minute. He told me that he'd been thinking about it and talking to a friend of his at the police station, and said so many people had been screwed over by roommates. I tried to assure him I had no intention of screwing him over. Then he was like "Yes, one person always ruins it for everyone." Again, blame irresponsible people. This sounded like the perfect setting too! It was remote, and he was hardly ever home. So basically I would have had the place to myself. More or less. And he was fine with me having 2 dogs running around. I told him thanks alot anyways (for ruining my weekend). I told him I understand where he's coming from, but I just wish he had done all that research before contacting me and making the deal. I don't need games played on me now, I need a place to stay. I got no time for games or to deal with people who don't know what they are getting into having a roommate. And I am hardly any trouble at all. I mostly keep to myself. I probably would rarely have ever left the room. Except to put the dogs out, and go walking occasionally.

My time looking for a home was put on hold, because of his offer. So I was very disappointed when he suddenly wrote saying he changed his mind. I don't mind living with my ma and stepfather, but soon they are going to be moving to Reno. I know they are. And I also know damn well that they are going to pick an apartment that does not allow pets. They always do. They are in Reno now looking at places. I know they are going to come back and say they found a place. And without even asking, I know the place they choose is not going to allow pets. I don't think I am going to like Reno one iota more than I liked Montana. One of the reasons I wanted to get away from Montana was because the summers were too hot and the winters were too cold. Reno is no better! I want to say I hope they don't find a place, but that would be selfish of me. I don't want to go there! But that is why I am trying hard to expedite finding a place of my own. And I am trying! If nothing else works, I will live in ma's van with my dogs. LOL! Really, I am serious. It's a big ol' van. Put a matress in the back and I'd be fine. It'll do fine until I can get myself an RV. Then I am really on the road!