My New Group

Well, I got a new INXS group now. A group devoted almost entirely to Michael and Timmy, my 2 favorite men of INXS. Though I don't care if the other guys are discussed on the group. It is INXS afterall. I invited all my wonderful, beautiful friends to the group! But I wanted to put it here too that this group is open. The link is https://www.facebook.com/groups/771537872956639/. I do hope to see many more INXS fans there.

Well, one of the rules is not to post too much of pics of other guys from the group besides Michael and Timmy. But I will give a little bit of leeway with that rule. I don't want to be too strict. They are a band and there are more guys than just Michael and Timmy. I just want most of the focus to be on Michael and Timmy. But I won't kick anyone out for posting pics of the other guys too. I love all the men of INXS, let's be fair. I also wrote not too much cussing. LOL! Like I never do it myself! LOL! I do it all the time. It was my co-moderator's idea to throw that one in. But I will overlook that rule myself. As long as it doesn't turn into a name-calling war. Like I don't want to see the word "cunt". I never use that word myself. I also don't want racial slurs, that I am a little more strict on. But I have no worries about that really. None of my friends do that kind of thing! No INXS fans I know of in fact do that kind of thing. Not even some of the really bad ones.

Though I remember back when I used to get into the chatroom back in 1998. One person who got in there, and called himself "Streetcar" used racial slurs on me once. He thought I was African-American. Only because one time I quoted one of my favorite shows (the Martin Lawrence Show) and called him a "sukkah". LOL! I was being my usual silly self. So next thing I know he's calling me the "N" word over and over again. I told him that I am not really African-American, and he still continued to call me the "N" word. I was young and dumb back then, just learning about internet etiquette. I wasn't even aware of what a troll is. Well, Streetcar told everyone that I was "a black person who wishes she was white". I told him I am not white either. I told him I am Hispanic. Its not white nor black. Its in the middle. That shut him up. LOL! I'm not sure what someone like him would call a Hispanic person. I don't know the slurs for them. I don't want to know either, I don't need to know. The only reason I know the N-word is because first of all, I hear African-American people calling each other that all the time. Also I used to hear it a lot from my grandma. Grandma was from the early 20th century in the south. They ALWAYS called African-Americans by the N-word.

Well, the first 2 rules I'd let slide now and then. No problem. The only rule I am very strict on is the rule not to crosspost pics or videos or posts from people to other groups. With that rule, I am mostly referring to personal posts. YouTube videos and other public pics and videos are fair game. I don't care if the members share those. But anyone caught crossposting personal pics and videos shared on the group, I will immediately ban them from the group. Like this video I did last night. I took one of the podcasts I had recorded from when Timmy hosted the radio talk show "25 Years In 25 Days" back in 2009 and made a video out of it. I didn't post it to YouTube, just to this group. So it's a personal video. That cannot be shared unless that person has my permission to. I worked on it myself, I worked hard on it too. So I would prefer to have someone ask me before sharing the video. That one cannot be found anywhere else, not even on the radio station's website. I kinda want to keep that video exclusive to my group. I'm really proud of it. Timmy talks about the year 1997 in that podcast, and mentions Michael at the end. He even dedicates 2 songs to him.

Other than that, I'm all for free speech, and encourage all INXS fans to join up and have fun!

My sis was here with the dogs a week ago, and now I miss them. Especially the dogs! One of the reasons I wanted to have her come over was of course so I could see my babies again. But also, I wanted to show her my favorite movie "Never Tear Us Apart". At first, she didn't want to see it. My mom, GOD bless her soul, told my sis that it is a dumb movie and that I watch it too often. So my sis had a fixed idea in her head that the movie was going to be stupid and not worth watching. Well, let me tell you all something about my mom. I love her to death! But she is not the best judge of movies on this planet. I told my sis to remember the quality of movies ma likes, and then tell me she's right. My mom (again, GOD bless her) watches a barrage of the STUPIDEST movies I've ever seen in all my life!!! They're not movies one can really get into. But then that's me. She likes corny fictional tales, I love true stories. Also, I think my sis expected it to be all concerts and interviews put together to make one movie. I know she's seen enough movies about rock groups that have been like that. While there are some concert clips, I don't deny that, and some interviews depicted, they are done in a theatrical way. It's not like these reality shows or YouTube videos.

Well, in the end, my sis said the movie was interesting. I wanted her to understand INXS and why I love them. I even gave her a bit of my own commentary throughout the film. I think she enjoyed it. She enjoyed it far more than she thought she would. But that's a good thing! I always believe in giving something a chance to prove it's self. I remember I used to diss the Lion King. Well, I still don't care for that movie. But at least I watched it from beginning to end and then I made the decision I didn't like it. My sis said she didn't even want to show that movie to me, but I asked to see it. I wanted to say I officially saw it and didn't like it.

Shirley Phelps-Roper Refusing Interviews - Westboro Baptist Church

"Arrogant of him to ask to do an interview with Shirley"?? HAHAHA!! That's a laugh!! I know this is old, but I saw this on my feed on YouTube and I just think it's hysterically funny these people, of ALL people in the world, would say it's arrogant for anyone to ASK to do an interview with anyone!! LOL!! They don't seem to know what arrogance is. So, let me spell it out for them...



Arrogance is going all over the country holding those obnoxious signs and tell complete strangers their deceased family member is in Hell.



Arrogance is having the colossal gall to stand with those stupid signs at a funeral for someone who has no personal or emotional connections with you, and tell their friends and family that that person's parents raised them for the devil.



Arrogance is calling people names and belittling them because they don't agree with how you run things. Something all members of the WBC have done on a regular basis.



Arrogance is expecting strangers to have higher standards than you do and then calling them fags when they don't.



Arrogance is going to towns you don't belong in just to spite the people of that town.



Arrogance is telling grown people "you don't get to do this" or "You don't get to do that!" HA!! I'll tell you right now, I "get to do" any damn thing I want to!! Fuck yourself if you don't agree with it!! And I'll say that to these dumbasses faces!! They "don't get to" control me in any way, shape or form! I control myself!!



You can tell just by the way those people word their sentences that they were abused and hated by both their parents all their lives.

Time-Traveler

I was watching some more videos on YouTube yesterday, and one of the videos that stood out was about time-travelers actually existing! There is a popular video that is shown from a 1920s Charlie Chaplin film where a woman appears on the street, talking in what is believed to be a cell phone. This is unusual, because there was nothing even close to being cell phones in the 1920s. Yet this woman has what appears to be a cell phone and she is seen talking into her hand and even laughing.

Now how does one explain this pic? Someone said that she is possibly holding an ear-horn, an early device, before there were hearing-aids, that amplified sounds so the hearing-impaired could hear. But those ear-horns were much bigger than what that woman is holding in her hand. Ear-horns look like this:

That does not appear in the picture. And when you watch the video, you see the woman talking into the device she has in her hand and even laughing. So, it could only be a cell phone. Unless the woman is a schizophrenic. Or she's holding up a favorite stuffed animal and she's talking to it. Like some people talk to their teddy bears. I've even seen adults do that!

Anyways, I always thought it would be awesome to be able to go back in time to see some of the sights that were seen before the age of the internet. I was thinking about it last night. I'd love to be able to go back to Sydney on November 22, 1997, and be at the same hotel Michael stayed at, and possibly I could talk him out of doing what he did that morning. Someone needed to be there for him. It would have been great if I could have been there, deflecting his mind from his troubles. Maybe he'd still be alive today and Lily would still have a father. But then again, there is another side of time-travel most people don't think of.

I remember back in 2000 or 2001, one of those early years, mama told me about a show she saw on the Sci-Fi network about a group of teenagers who traveled back to the days of the dinosaurs. Before they went, they were told not to touch anything because it could offset the balance of history. So the kids went back in time and walking along, noticing the dinosaurs and other animals around at that time. All of a sudden, one of them was attacked by a mosquito. So the kid smacked the mosquito and killed it. The others told him he shouldn't have done that because they were told not to touch anything. But the one kid thought "It's just a mosquito! How is the swatting of one mosquito going to change the course of history in the 21st century?" One never knows! Everything happens for a reason.

Well, when those kids made it back to the 21st century, everything was different than they remembered when they left. There were big wars going on, famine, holocaust, dictators, all kinds of horrible things happening, all because the one kid swatted a mosquito that he shouldn't have when he visited the days of the dinosaurs. So the kids had to go back, and not swat the mosquito that attacked them, and then they came back to the 21st century and everything was just how it was when they left the first time. Its so easy to say I would have loved to have been Michael's savior that fateful night. I'd love to have him back on stage singing with the rest of the band again. But perhaps that wouldn't be what is best for the band it's self. I thought about this last night as I was thinking about that video about time travelers.

I'm not saying I am at all happy that Michael is gone, but it did do INXS some good. Elegantly Wasted did not do so well as an album when it was released just before Michael died. And Christina said the band never treated Michael very kindly either. That to them, it was like he didn't matter. Well, one never knows what they have until they've lost it. Michael's death made everyone realize what a truly fascinating person he really was. INXS became more appreciated after Michael died, because the fans all realized what they lost. And now, INXS are back in the top 40 charts all over the world with their release of The Best of INXS album, and the miniseries on TV. If Michael hadn't died, there would be no miniseries. INXS might still be making albums that went by unappreciated, and more fans wouldn't be saying "Oh how I wish I had gone to more shows when Michael was alive!" They would have just gone! They could have enjoyed the wonderful performer that Michael was.

Internet Lynch-Mobs

Oh GOD!! Now, I just watched a video where someone said that this thing with the dentist who killed a lion has been receiving death-threats, had his name, address, phone number, social security number, the names of his children, credit card info, and all kinds of other personal info of his posted all over the internet. The panther-fags are all now being told to go to this dentist's home, send him more death threats, call his home and hang up, crash his windows, etc. Oh GOD!! You wonder why I hate panthers and panther-fanatics? Geez! None of this happened when an elephant was killed and it's calf mourned over her lifeless body! This is all because this was a damn lion! And I don't know anyways why people go to these kinds of lengths just to get a point across! Man! If you don't like someone, it's simple. Just LEAVE THEM ALONE!!!!!!!!

This reminds me of the dirty dozen mob. I remember mcgillicutty posted my info on Myspace, next thing I know some idiot is calling me, breathing heavily and hanging up on me. Probably one of their bunch. It's not just the dirty dozen mob either. Its all animal lovers, especially show breeders. I remember growing up, I used to think animal lovers were the best people. But as I started going into more and more internet forums where the focus is on pets and animals, I found that theory to be nothing but bullshit! Animal lovers have been some of the WORST people I've ever met in my life!! I mean really! I love animals too. I also hate people. But I would NEVER post someone else's personal info, call their house only to hang up on them, and generally just be a nuisance! That's not my style! I think it's very wrong to attack someone just because you don't agree with them by using their own personal info. If I don't like someone, I just leave them alone. Unless I find out they are still harassing me, even after years of having nothing to do with them.

That's the only time I've been known to attack. I still do it in a diplomatic way though. Like that one time I had those problems with Catsredrum and Netrage and their forum. They started talking about me, I recognized a story Catsredrum told about me picking up one of Timmy's guitar picks he threw at me at a concert, and kissing it. hehehe!! Yeah, I admit that was silly, but that's who I am. I like being a bit silly sometimes. A girl's gotta have some fun now and then. LOL! Besides, I wanted to show Timmy I appreciated his gift. And besides all else, it brought me good luck. Well, I went into their little forum and set the record straight. Well, I was attacked by them and their stupid-ass friends hiding behind anonymous names. After toying with them for a few days, I left and didn't look back. I even stopped talking about them, knowing instinctively that would only give them the attention they were ever-so-desperately craving. So, I left them to wallow in their imaginary cesspool of their own self-worth and went about my own business.

For several months, I didn't talk about them. Not even a mention on my Myspace blog about them. Nor my MSN blog. Then I mentioned I was going to go to a concert in Portland's Schnitzer Hall. My sisters had pitched in together and got me a ticket with a meet and greet with the guys as a birthday gift to me. I was so excited! I did talk about that for some time on my Myspace blog. Never once mentioning anything about Catsredrum or any of those others. I had even tried for several months to forget those people even existed, and had succeeded! Until one of my friends, who was in their forum, sent me a PM. She told me that Catsredrum and Netrage crossposted my blog from inxs.com to their forum about my impending trip to Portland to see my favorite men. She said for me to be careful, because they'd been talking about it a lot on their forum. My first thought when she mentioned this was "Do I need to get a police escort?" I thought they were perhaps going to try jumping me from behind a building.

Well, I had been banned from Catsredrum's forum and really didn't care to go back myself. So, I got some friends to go in there and see what these patrons were planning to do to me. I found out that they had been in their private forum, talking about me for several months. Even when I had completely gotten them out of my mind. I mean, you could not scroll past a single post on that forum that did not mention me at least once. Even posts that really had nothing to do with me. I also found out then about Mayday06. She was the dim-witted whore that Catsredrum got to follow me all over the internet. I even went so far to set a trap for her! LOL! And she fell right into it! Later, I would get these same friends to help me turn things around on this INXS-fan lynch mob! One of the things that was mentioned in their forum, that made me madder than anything else, was someone accusing me of letting my Groucho die just so I could attend the concert in Portland! She didn't say that in those exact words, but I knew what she was implying! It was clear as day! That was when I said "This has to stop!" and I sent my "spies" to their forum to bring me back some things I could jeer at them about, and I did! I don't think Catsredrum or any of her friends was expecting that! LOL! My problem is I'm too kind for my own good! It gives people like them an invitation to bully and harass me.

But that was not my first encounter with an internet lynch-mob. I remember when I was in the Pluba forum, mcgillicutty revealed my blog to the members of that forum, as well as the people in the old email group I was on The Rabbit Press. I don't know to this day why they called their group that! LOL! But I had written a lot about them on that blog, as I still do sometimes. Well, John Cipollina (remember him? LOL!) came onto my blog to gripe (like he ever does anything else). One of the things he putted out was "it was not the lynch-mob mentality that you portray". I said to him "Yes it was! Maybe it didn't feel that way to YOU because you were not the one who was attacked for no reason!" But it was indeed a lynch-mob. Any time there are show breeders, there's going to be a lynch-mob mentality. That's what they do! Not only was I attacked, but so were some people who were trying to be nice to me even after John Cipollina attacked me. I said I was very proud of the dogs we have, and I was! But in their eyes, it seemed I was wrong to be proud of my dogs because they did not have titles to their names. Nevermind that they were good enough to be shown! I mean, they were not Taco Bell dog lookalikes! I did not get them from pet stores or shelters, but from other well-known show breeders. Yet, I was wrong to them for feeling proud of my babies because they did not have titles and had not been shown to their championship. That's how I was always made to feel when I was around show breeders, and that is why I hate them so much now. Besides the fact they seem to get their jollies out of picking on other people.

Recently, I went back into the Craigslist pet forum and looked, and I noticed the show breeders are still picking on the newbies. Nothing has changed at all! I made a post, for the first time in a few years. I said "Well, well, well, I see nothing has changed. You guys are still tearing each other apart like show breeders typically do! I guess this is what it's still like in life among the savages!" LOL!! They didn't like that! I got lots of negative points on that post, but I don't care. I might go back and have some more fun. Not far from that post, I noticed some stupid show breeder bragging about winning a point on their dog, and I almost posted "Big deal?! All it proves is that you need your dog to make you feel like somebody!" LOL!! Oh man! And I bet she would have charged at me with a shitload of hate messages! LOL! I should have posted it anyways! Just to take those damn show breeders down a notch! They deserve it!! Hateful, ornery old beasts!! I hate show breeders so much!! Next on my shit list is rescue people! Those people who blame other people because dogs wind up in the pound, when it was most likely some show breeders' fault the animal was in the shelter in the first place! Well, it can definitely be traced back to a show breeder somewhere! I've mentioned that before, several times.

Cecil The Lion

OMG!! For the past 2 days I've been seeing and hearing nothing except about a damn dentist who went to Africa and killed a fucking lion, named Cecil!! Enough already! I am sick of it!!! It's old news now! And really, anyone who only cares because it is a stupid lion is pathetic! Apparently, this lion was what most people call "special". They say he was an "African icon". That's malarkey!! That's nothing but a load of leopard gas!! A lion is a lion! You seen one, you've seen them all! This lion was no more "special" than any other lion, or any other animal that has ever been killed by trophy hunters over the past years. Well, you all know how I hate lions! I hate ALL panthers. And lions are my most hated panthers of all. I can't stand the sight of them. To look at one literally makes me physically ill. I couldn't care less that one more lion is dead. What I don't agree with about this article is trophy hunting.

Most people seem to be more upset that it was a dumb lion that was killed. Who cares?! It's just a stupid lion! It doesn't have a soul, it is NOT the "king of beasts", and I don't buy that it never hurt anyone. It's just a big, fat, ugly, stupid, sodden-brained, dim-witted, good-for-nothing, psychotic-minded, addlepated, lazy-ass lion!! And I don't buy that it never hurt anyone. Imagine how many hyenas unnecessarily died in Cecil's jaws! I imagine lots of them. One less lion now to worry about. Not that I am a huge fan of hyenas. But lions do kill them for nothing but pleasure. Just like this dentist killed that lion for pleasure. I am totally against trophy hunting! I think it's a waste of life. But I would feel the same way if it were a wolf, or a fox, or a sitatunga that was killed just as a trophy. It's not fair. But let's face it, there have been trophy hunters before, advertising their hunts. No one has ever cried as loud as they do now for this stupid lion. The guy who killed Cecil probably didn't even know it was Cecil. Would you be able to tell just by looking at him? Think of it. Is this Cecil?

Or is this Cecil?

Or is this Cecil?

Or this?

Those are all different lions. Can you tell which one is Cecil? I can't just by looking at them. They all look alike to me. But surely one of them IS Cecil. I just bet you can't tell which one it is, unless you happen to recognize his picture, because it's been posted all over by now! One of my vegan friends posted a thing on Facebook, asking why people are getting so upset about the death of a lion, when people are responsible for the deaths of cattle, pigs and chickens? Well, I responded to her post saying "It's just another propaganda ploy being used now to glorify panthers." It isn't going to stop until they get everyone in the world to love panthers. Well, none of it will work on me. I used to like panthers a long time ago, and I outgrew it. I'm glad I did too! I am not ashamed to admit that it does not bother me that one more lion is gone from this world! However, I am sorry that it ended in a trophy hunt. I just never agreed with trophy hunting, I couldn't care less if it was a lion that was killed, or what ever animal. I just don't agree with trophy hunting. Killing an animal (like a cow, pig or chicken) for consumption is one thing. But killing an animal just to display on your wall is horrible! If you want to display an animal in your living room, BUY A POSTER!!!! No need to go off and kill a creature just to display as a trophy!

Shoot! I don't even agree with Paula trapping Michael so she could display him like a trophy, even though the end result with him was the same. But there will never be another Michael Hutchence! There will ALWAYS be other lions. One dies, another one will soon come along and take his place. No gaps are left whatsoever. There's no shortage of lions out there killing for fun. They all look the same, they're all ugly, disgusting and lazy beasts, someone out there will give them names, but it makes no difference. A lion is a fucking lion. Nothing changes. Get over it!!

Life In The Deep, Dark Web

Did you all know the internet has layers? There is the top layer, the visible layer. That is the internet most people typically use. Then there is the deep internet, which is only accessible through special browsers. Then there is the dark internet, which is only used by law enforcement and the military. I've been on YouTube, looking at some videos, and I've seen a couple of people who regularly browse the deep internet. It's a scary place!! I've also heard some horror stories about the deep internet, and I will tell you about those in a moment. If you want to access the dark web, well, you can't. Only the military and FBI are allowed there. I think I heard it's only accessible via passwords. Nothing interesting there anyways. And the deep web, it's very interesting, but usually not in good ways.

The deep web is only accessible through specialized web browsers. One such browser I heard is called Onion. For obvious reasons! Though I think someone once said in a video that you can also access it through Google Chrome. They don't have a search engine like Google, and no sites from the deep web can be found on Google either. Their websites are usually small and unimpressionable. Their web hosters only allow so much bandwidth, so the sites are not very flashy or dynamic. They get right to the point. I've never browsed the deep web, and I never want to! The browser, Onion, is not very protected. It leaves you open and vulnerable to hackers. And believe me when I say there are a lot of hackers that access the deep web! Its like an underground alley or something. Lots of people get in there and sell things like electronics, very cheap. Like, you could get a 30 GB iPad for less than $150. But don't buy it! Chances are, it's a stolen item. You can also buy black market items such as guns, grenades, ammo, all the way down to children, and hitmen. You can also rent a hacker. There is no access to Facebook, ebay or Amazon in the deep web, but they do have their own currency system known as BitCoin.

Well, there is a very good reason I steer absolutely clear of the deep web. I've heard some pretty messed-up stories from people who have visited the deep web. Some are downright scary! Going to the deep web is like taking a walk through a neighborhood that you know is a bad neighborhood, at night, alone. It can get really scary sometimes. Like I said, it's crawling with hackers! One truly messed up story I heard, someone was browsing the deep web one day, visiting a site that sells guns. While he was visiting the site, a chat box pops on the screen and says hi. So, he thought he would be social and say hello back. Worst mistake he ever made!! The other chatter said "Do you like the site?" and the visitor answers "It's OK." The other chatter and the visitor make small talk, and the visitor said he had to go. The other chatter got a little upset and said "Hmm, I see your name is Michael and you live in *************, Massachusetts." Well, immediately the visitor got chills up his spine, because the hacker was right. But he tried to make it out like he was wrong. The next thing the visitor knows, he sees a screen pop up, looks and sees himself and what he is doing right then. He suddenly realizes his webcam is on! So, he closes his laptop. It shakes him up pretty bad.

Another scary story I've heard involved a man who supposedly went to the deep web to meet up with what he thought was a woman. He would meet her in a chatroom. Well, it got to be a little much for the guy and so he cooled off the relationship. When he did that, the woman told him where he lived, which kindof gave the guy a jolt because he'd never told her where he lived, but she had his full address up there on the screen! She said "You're only about an hour from me, I'm gonna come and see you." He closed his laptop and went about his business. Suddenly, some time later, he gets a text. It was from that girl! She said "Hey! I'm in your neighborhood now!" About 1 minute later, he gets another text from her and she says "I'm pulling into your driveway." and she sends him a picture of the front of his house. She then sends him another text saying "I see you" and she sends him a picture she just took of him sleeping on his sofa, which is exactly what he was doing at that point. It creeped him out!!

But by far, the creepiest, most disturbing story I heard about the deep web was from a video I watched last night. This man in Australia posted a video of his on the deep web, and well, this guy talks about it himself. It's a 30-something minute long video, but he describes everything.

 

Can you imagine that? He talks about this guy mutilating a child, then making items like T shirts with pictures of this mutilated little girl to sell!! It's sad! My jaw dropped 6 feet when I saw that! But this is a really good reason I never visit the deep web!!

So, enjoy the internet! But beware of the deep internet! Don't go there!! Unless you enjoy being hacked and stalked!

Oh Lawdy Lawd!!!

I am so glad I am not a fan of Paula Yates!! UGH!! One of my friends announced that there are 2 groups dedicated to Paula. One group is run by a woman named Sheila, the other group is run by Maria and Jannah. OMG!! I am so glad I am not a Paula fan! SO glad!! And I must say now, I would suggest the Paula fans go to the group run by Sheila, and stay clear away from the group run by Jannah! I'm not saying Jannah is a bad person. I don't believe she'll come to your house, park in your driveway and wait for you to come out of your house to mug you. But Jannah definitely has some serious emotional issues! Can you imagine what she'd be like as a moderator in a group? You'd say one thing she doesn't agree with, and she'll get obsessively angry at you before booting you out of the group. I imagine it to be pretty much like this:

Dee: The sky is blue today.
Jannah: The sky is never blue. It's a sea-greenish color.
Dee: No, the sky is definitely blue.
Jannah: It is NOT!!! I'm right! You're WRONG!!!
Dee: When I look out and see the sky on a clear day, it's always blue.
Jannah: I don't care what you see when you look outside! I say the sky is sea-greenish and I don't appreciate you contradicting me!!!!!
Dee: OK, so you see the sky as being sea-greenish, I see it as blue. Let's leave it as that.
Jannah: Oh you are just about the rudest, most obnoxious person I ever met!! And if I were the Battlestar Gallactica, I would HATE you for contradicting my vision!!!!
(Dee goes to type a response only to find out she is unable to respond because Jannah has kicked her out of the group).

That is what I mean. You disagree with Jannah, and she will most likely boot you out! If you like a challenge, I say go for it, join that group. I'd never join a Paula Yates fan group anyways. But if I ever did, it wouldn't be one that is moderated by Jannah! Maria is OK, I like her. But there is a definitely good reason I never asked Jannah to become my friend on Facebook. Also why I am glad she has me on ignore on Facebook! I hope she never takes me off ignore. Of course if she did, I could just put her on ignore in turn. I don't care if she likes Paula. I am not shallow enough to not like someone just because they don't like the same things I do. (Don't listen to the dirty dozen mob!) What I don't like about Jannah is how she gets so outrageously angry over little things like someone disagreeing with her.

Take it from me, I've dealt with people like her before. I know what the outcome of that group is going to be like. A lot of people have even given up the MH & His Life fan page because of people like Jannah. She has blindly and viciously attacked everyone who does not like Paula, including Michael's own sister Christina. And Christina was there when Paula did all that shit to Michael behind his back! Jannah wasn't. I have a great deal of fortitude, I can handle a lot of lashings and hatred. But I'm the kind of person that can take people or leave them. I don't care. But if you're trying to make friends with Jannah, well, I just suggest don't even try! She hates people who disagree with her. She will turn on you at the drop of a hat if you say even one thing that she doesn't agree with. The sky is blue argument is just a sample (it didn't actually happen) of the kind of little things that sets her off. I think she needs therapy, and if I were her, I would get it before I even dream of moderating any group.

Condolences To Nick Cave

I don't know Nick Cave, but I do know he and Michael were friends. Michael was inspired in a lot of ways by Nick Cave. Well, Nick had twin boys, and one of them passed away yesterday. He was only 15. He died falling from a 60-foot cliff. Today the authorities in Australia are saying the kid committed suicide, that it wasn't an accident. That is so sad! I felt sad yesterday after hearing this news. I'm not even a fan of Nick Cave, at all. I've never heard his music, he's not overly handsome, I never heard him sing, but this is just terrible. The kid was only 15! That's the fact I cannot get over.

It saddens me when someone that young dies. Think of it! The kid never really had a chance to grow up. He never got to have a career, he never finished school, never got married or had children of his own, he never even got old enough to get a driver's license. It's sad! I've been in school and a couple times got news another fellow student passed away. The first time was in 1984, a young girl in my class was riding a horse when the horse stumbled and fell on top of her. She was in a coma for 3 days, and the family finally decided to pull the plug and she died. I was really too young back then to understand what happened. I understood death, but I wasn't put together enough to realize the impact something like that would have on her family, or the opportunities she missed by not being able to grow up. I couldn't go to her funeral, I'd never been to a funeral in my life, and I couldn't bring myself to go to that of a friend's. But several of my other friends did go to her funeral. There was a great deal of sadness that day.

About 2 years later, in 1986, another incident happened to a much older student. I don't remember his name though, but some of my friends knew the guy. He was out with some friends one weekend and driving around, getting drunk and they got into an accident. The driver accidentally crashed their car into a tree, this boy was thrown from the car on impact and he died instantly. Apparently, his head hit the ground really hard when he was thrown from the car, and crushed his skull and brain. One of my teachers actually saw him after he was in the morgue. The teacher described his face being all scratched up and his head was crushed. The boy's mom was in the attendance office to fill out a discharge from school form. When asked for a reason, she simply replied "deceased". I don't remember if they had funeral services for him in that school, not like they did for the other girl in my last school.

Aside from also losing a few teachers in between those times, those were the only times I'd heard of anyone close to my age passing away. Well, until now, but this doesn't count, I'm getting older. At my age, death is closer to me than family. When my time comes, I'd like to think I am ready to go. There's just a few things I want to complete before I make my final journey.

Up At 4AM

And nothing much to do, except browse the internet! I officially HATE M&Ms now! LOL! I ate some last night, when I knew I shouldn't have, and I ate too many and now I feel sick and weak. This really sucks!! But at the same time, it's pretty cool too. But the M&Ms are not the reason I woke up so damn early. I just couldn't go back to sleep. I had the same problem a week or so ago, when I woke up at about 3AM. I heard what sounded like running footfalls outside my window. Then, I heard a black man's voice shouting "Get back here before I fuck you up!" I assumed what I was hearing was a bit of a domestic dispute. I hate it when they bring their bullshit outside at night, right in front of my bedroom window!! Seriously!! Once the girl runs out of the house, LEAVE HER THE FUCK ALONE!!!!! Your stupid arguments between the two of you are not my business! I don't want to hear it, I don't want to know about it, and I don't want it broadcast in front of my window when I am trying to sleep!! That was the night I was having a nice MH dream too!

One of my friends this morning was saying how she saw someone wearing a shirt that said "Addicted to Jesus" and it made her angry, just the sight of that shirt. So angry, she said she wanted to punch that person in the face. I told her I feel the same way every time I see anyone wearing a shirt that has a picture of any kind of panther on it. I see grown people wearing shirts that have pictures of lions, tigers, or leopards and I feel so angry I want to punch them in the face, and then stomp on that shirt. I don't want to see those ugly faces staring at me when I walk by those people! And believe me I've seen a lot of panther radicals! They make me sick!! I think I'm even over that business of wanting to get myself a kitten. Know why? It's all thanks to this stupid panther-fanatical wussy on YouTube who calls himself "TYRANTZILLA Fastlife". Normally, I don't respond to negative people on YouTube anymore, but I wanted to have some fun with this dumbass. It led to a nearly week-long battle of wits. Well, Tyrantzilla had no wits at all. His biggest insult was calling me "gayass", his reason is because I don't like lions or any kind of panthers. I call him a wussy because he does like panthers. I also call him a dumbass who has no brains or creativity of his own, also because he loves panthers.

I truly believe people who love panthers only do so because they are followers. Either they were foolishly influenced by that stupid movie "The Lion King", or that disgusting program "Big 'Cat' Diary", or they are just afraid. Afraid of feeling rejected because they don't like what everyone else likes. I'm just exactly the opposite. The more popular something is, the less I like it. In the case of panthers, it's because I got so sick of hearing about them and seeing them on every nature show, it just became nothing but a pile of cat shit! I hate panthers. I hate the entire cat and panther family. I'm proud of that too. That's what sets me apart from the rest of the people. That's who I am. And I love being different. Believe me, I'd feel worse if I did like panthers. I'd feel like I wasn't being true to myself. I've experienced that feeling once before, all because I wanted some idiot people to like me, and it was the worst feeling in the world and I swore I would NEVER do that again!!! My self-respect is a million times more important to me than the respect of strangers.

One of the big reasons I hate panthers so much is because of the panther-fags like Tyrantzilla. You know, people will forgive panthers where they won't forgive any other animals? For example, if a lion kills a hyena, all the cat-fags will say "That's nature", or "the lion is just protecting it's family". If a lion runs from an attacking crocodile, the panther-fags are like "lions don't take unnecessary chances with another dangerous animal", and they seem to understand it. But if a hyena fends off a lion, the hyenas are suddenly the "bad guys", or they are "evil, disgusting creatures that deserve to be killed". Or if a hyena runs from a lion or a crocodile, the hyena is labeled a "coward" by the panther-fags, and they suddenly don't understand it. People don't seem to know that hyenas are a considerably older family than the felines. I don't like hyenas myself, I think they are ugly and smelly, but I do find it fascinating they have been around so long (40 million years as opposed to true felines only being around for 20 million) and are still going strong!! Hyenas are very successful, in spite of everything! They don't take unnecessary chances either. They didn't survive all these years by being stupid. Unlike felines, hyenas don't go out looking for fights. They do what they are programmed by nature to do, and that is eat to survive. Felines, on the other hand, have only been here for half as long, and they are not faring very well since humans have taken over the scene. I'm not talking about "cats", I'm talking only about TRUE felines. Other animals known as "cats", like the civets and mongooses, have been around for a good 50 million years and are secretive, but as a family they're mostly doing OK.

The oldest carnivore family though, by far, are the canines. Foxes, being the earliest representatives of that family. Canines first came on the scene when Tyrannosaurs and Triceratops were roaming the Earth. They survived the extinction event that killed the dinosaurs. They were what all modern carnivores are descended from. That includes felines. Yet, canines are labeled by the panther-fags as being "cowardly", or by cat-fags as being "stupid". Having studied canines for many years, I can honestly tell you, NO canine is any of this!! As a family, they are doing far better than the felines, despite the fact they've been around for many more eons. Wolves were wiped out at one point, but they are back and have been extending their range faster than bobcats, lynx and mountain lions. The difference is dogs aim to please. Being descendants of wolves, they are programmed by nature to do what the leader tells them to do. Cat-fags don't understand this, and what people don't understand, they either feel fear of, or they just loathe. Not everyone is like me. I hate panthers because I do understand them, and I know they are WAY overrated! They are the most over-embellished creatures on the planet thanks to cartoons, movies and over-worked panther fanatics and cat-fags.

Well, I must say I am not too different from other people. Not in every way. I just have my own point of view, just like everyone else. One guy I am subscribed to, was talking last night on a video about faith, and he said it really hurts his feelings when his family, who are Christians, tell him or their friends they hope he, who is an atheist, comes back to having that faith in GOD that he used to have. He said people who believe in GOD do so for comfort, because they don't want to face the unknown by themselves. GOD provides them with some security, something to lean on. He may be right! I think the same thing about show breeders! I've met many show breeders, when I used to get into pet forums and go to dog shows, and that wretched email group I was on just before my Groucho died. One thing that seemed to be mostly universal, show breeders seemed to be very insecure people! Remember that John Cipollina guy, the guy who ran Maestro Chihuahuas? I thought it was very unusual how he just got so angry with me for almost no reason at all, it was also very suspicious! I'd be the first one to admit if I'd done something wrong. But he acted like I murdered his family and he just wanted to tear me apart for it. When all I really did was fill out a survey that I thought was going to the whole forum to fill out. No one told me it was only supposed to be directed at one person, it was sent over email to everyone, and I thought we were supposed to all fill it out. And I did! I also gave my opinions honestly.

Well, when John Cipollina read that, he blew his top clear off!!! LOL! He was yelling, screaming, and I think I may have even felt the veins in his head popping. Or I heard them! LOL! He could have handled it diplomatically, and sent me a PM kindly pointing out exactly what it was I said that offended him. He could have wrote me something like this:

"Hello Cassandra,
I'm glad you decided to join our group. I hope you can learn something new about the breeding game. I am just writing you a PM because I found what you said in your survey to be quite offensive, not only to me, but also could be taken wrong by some of the other breeders on the group. Like, when you said ...(insert offensive breeder line here) I just want to make sure you have your facts straight on this subject. For example, (insert factual breeder info here)"

And so on. I would have been understanding. I was trying to do breeding the right way, I welcomed constructive criticism, and really the last thing I wanted back then was to offend anyone. John Cipollina, and everyone in that group for that matter, might have even got a public apology from me. But no, John Cipollina was not even nearly that tactful. And he was no gentleman! I was slammed at by him with a barrage of hate-filled tirades, anger soaked in venom, verbal assault and the like. And not just by him, but also by his dumbass show breeder "friends". And I do use the term "friends" loosely, because I don't believe any show breeder can ever be a good friend to anyone else, except for other show breeders, and only for as long as they are winning show breeders. I haven't seen anything of that John Cipollina in a long time. I wonder what ever happened to the old fart. Not that I truly care! It's partly because of him that I hate show breeders so much now. Most of the show breeders I've met have been a lot like him. Judging by his outrageous attitude, he probably had a heart attack. Anyone who gets as angry as quickly as he did, they've got to be suffering some blood pressure problems, maybe some heart problems too. I hope it killed him too!! That would be wonderful news! hehehe!

Anyway, I think the reason he was always so mean and hateful is probably the same reason a lot of show breeders are mean, because maybe as a child he was neglected. Maybe his parents never showed him any love. They probably spoiled him more with gifts and possessions than with love, understanding or any physical contact. This makes people like him feel insecure, so he breeds to give himself a sense of accomplishment. He probably also shows his dogs to give himself that much-needed ego boost. That's one of the reasons I never showed any dogs. I don't rely on my animals to give me an ego boost! I have other ways of getting that. My Metazoic site for one thing. My love for INXS is another. INXS friends are the greatest!! MUCH better than show breeders ever were!

The Sparks of Love

Ya know, they say when the right man comes along, the woman knows it. I've felt love in the past, but only one man ever gave me those sparks and see fireworks. It was the only man I ever fell in love with on first sight. It was Michael Hutchence. I did manage to see him live in concert only once, but it was a memorable show! I even reached out and kissed him at that concert. But it was my first sighting of him that made me fall madly in love with him. When I first saw him on TV. When I saw him, sparks flew, I heard and saw the fireworks, I went totally weak in the knees, and I could think of no one or nothing else after that. That is what they say it is like to fall in love. That is the point where the woman knows it is going to be true love. That same day, watching that same video, I also fell in love with Timmy's buns! He has the best set of buns in the whole band!! At the time, I didn't know if Michael, or Timmy for that matter, were already married or not. I just saw them and fell in absolute love! I figured handsome men like them must be married!! Well, I would later find out it was true for Timmy, but not true for Michael. Back in those days, I found that a little harder to believe. Both were handsome men! But for different reasons. Though Timmy has the better figure and personality, for me, it was Michael's moves, cute face and flowing hair that attracted me.

Well, I did used to joke around to friends that I would someday marry Michael. I was so deeply in love with him, I wanted it to happen, but knew deep inside it would never happen! No other man has ever made me feel the same way Michael has! I never felt those sparks with any other man. Not even the man I eventually did marry! There were a few barriers in place though that made me not want to even approach Michael in that matter. One of the reasons I never approached him about the subject of marrying me, let's face it, rock stars NEVER marry fans!! To them, all we are is fans. People who admire them for their songs, performance and in Michael's case; his sultry good looks. I don't think rock stars think a fan would love them for who they are. So, they don't take it seriously when a fan approaches them and says "Hey! I want to be your girlfriend forever!" or "I want to marry you!" So, that was just one idea why I never approached Michael in that way for that reason. But that's not the only reason.

I remember when someone posted a link to a blog where the writer told of herself being the only person that Michael communicates with from beyond the grave on one of the groups I am on. I checked it out and had a great laugh over it. But there was one comment made by someone on there, well, he is among my Facebook friends now, and he seems like a nice guy. He's a bird-lover. But the comment he left on that blog made me kinda glad I never approached Michael. This guy is best friends with Michael's brother Rhett, and he told about how he used to hang at the INXS headquarters back in the day. They would get fan mail and most of it would wind up in the recycling bin. But he and Rhett would dig some of the letters out, read them and have a good laugh over them. One particularly creepy woman sounded serious about meeting Michael and becoming his lifelong girlfriend (I swear, it wasn't me who wrote that!) LOL! Well he said she showed up one day at their office in Sydney, and the scary part is she was nothing like how she described herself in her letters. He said she was 10 years older than Michael, not even remotely attractive and as big as a hippo. His words, not mine! LOL!

Well anyways, it was that reason also that I never approached Michael. I never thought of myself as being attractive. Not even when I was thinner. I guess I'd been told by bullies in school so many times that I was ugly, it sank in too deep. And while it didn't bother me if the bullies in school said it, if my Michael had said that about me, even behind my back, it would have broken my heart if I ever found out he said it. I always thought I was too ugly for such a handsome guy like Michael. I mean really, who would marry this?

That was me from 2000, but it would give you a general idea of what I looked like at the time Michael was alive. I always hated my smile! I look more like I am half frowning! I hate my hair too. I hate how it just lies all over the place! Plus, I was way too skinny! I just never thought of myself as being attractive. So, I was afraid to approach Michael. But then again, look at what he did almost wind up with...

This must be the reason he killed himself, if indeed he did commit suicide. Though that thing is the mother of his only child, it's ugly as a lion's behind!! The only good thing about Michael being with Paula, is I look at her, and I think maybe I would have had a chance with him myself! Even being fat, broken-down and bald, I couldn't look worse than Paula!! But maybe if I had married Michael, I would never have gotten fat, Michael might still be alive today, and his daughter might have had a more decent name! Well, I would have probably called her "Heavenly Hiraani Lily Hutchence", her call-name would have been Hiraani. Leave out the "tiger". That part of her name is ugly!! Michael really wanted her call-name to be Hiraani, so that's what we would have called her. It's pretty and it's unique. And it doesn't represent an ugly, lazy beast like the name "tiger" does! Tigers are cursed by GOD. With a name like that, I fear Lily will fail in anything she tries.

Dian Fossey named one of her gorillas "tiger" too, thinking the name would fit his personality. Well, judging by his namesake's current position in the wild, she was indeed right! He failed to find a mate and reproduce, and he died a lonely bachelor gorilla with no offspring whatsoever.

Well, a lot of people agree with me about Paula. One of my friends told me it's mostly the people from the UK who defend Paula. I think she's right! People from the UK and Australia defend Paula. Not all, but I noticed that pattern myself. People from the UK think Paula was the equivalent of Betty Crocker. But she killed Michael! I'll never get that out of my mind! Those of us from the USA, you can't pull the wool over our eyes! We saw through Paula's little scheme!! I'll never forgive her for that! Lily may hate me for saying things like that about Paula, but that's OK. She should hear the truth. And remember, Paula threatened to kill herself AND Lily if Michael ever left her. And Paula did kill herself via a drug overdose. Doing those kinds of things, does that sound like something a responsible mother would do?? Not to me! So if Lily wants to hate me for hating Paula, so be it! But she should know Paula wanted Lily dead if she couldn't have Michael. Paula was selfish for sure. No one can ever make me believe otherwise!

"Today Was A Bad Day, But Tomorrow's Another Day"

There was always that aire of doubt in my mind if I truly loved this band, because of my former feelings about Kirk. My meetings with him have been disappointing, to say the least. The last time I had a chance to talk to him, I paid $300 for the privilege. I know, it was my sisters' money, but still! It was for a birthday gift for me. I stood in front of Kirk like an idiot, smiled and said hello, and he never spoke back to me. For many years, I thought it was personal, like he didn't like fans who were overweight, like me. What else could I think? He spoke to everyone else around me (fans who were not as fat as me), but just totally snubbed me. It made me feel very sad, because up until then, I loved Kirk. I never said anything bad about him, and he was right up there with Timmy as one of my favorite band members. A couple of times, someone came in this blog, pretending to be Kirk. While it would have felt good if it had actually been him, I knew it wasn't. Well, admittedly at first, I did think it was, but I knew nothing about him then. But then one of my friends, who used to come in here, pointed out a few features that she said were very un-Kirk-like. hehe. Well, she told me she had communicated with him many times on Myspace, so she knew a lot more about him than I did, and she said the comments did not resemble his writing at all.

Later on, a not-so-friendly reader (probably DonnaG, or one of her cronies) came in and said pretty much the same thing my friend did, but that person's timing was considerably late. LOL! My friend had already told me the news by the time she chimed in. But it did act in a way to confirm what my friend said and my own suspicions. So the next time someone came in and did the same thing, a year later (I think the posts are still there), I was better prepared. Though the posts did seem to come from someone in Australia, I highly doubt they were made by Kirk. I suspected it may have been posted by someone from the Rockband Lounge forums. They hated me there because I did not like DonnaG, and she was kindof the mods' "pet" on those forums. Anyone who didn't like her was slammed mercilessly on that forum. So, I always made sure I slammed Donna on here just to show those mods that they do NOT control me. I control myself! I decide who I like and who I don't like. And I don't give a shit if they slam me or not!

I was on that Rockband forum for a while. I didn't like it at all. There was only 1 or 2 friendly people, everyone else was one of DonnaG's little robots. You couldn't make a post, the mods there had to be the ones to start the posts. The posters were only allowed to respond to those posts. That was why I quit that forum! I tried to start a post and couldn't. You had to have at least moderator status in order to begin a post. That's fucking STUPID!!! Why open a forum and not allow the members that were not mods start a post? It didn't make sense to me. So I left and never looked back.

Anyways, my respect level for Kirk has increased 1000-fold! He kicked cancer's ass!! I admire him for that! Especially after I heard his wife say he would have his good days, and his bad days. On his bad days, he would say "Today was a bad day, but tomorrow's another day." I gotta admire someone with strength like that!! He didn't let the bad days get to him. I never had cancer, and it doesn't run rampant in my family, but I always felt if it had ever happened to me, I don't want to cry or moan "why did this happen to me?" I want to be strong, like Kirk was, and just take one day at a time. And if GOD forbid, HE did decide to take me home, my only thought would be "Well, if GOD feels it is my time to head home, it's HIS decision, and HE needs me there more than I need to be down here." Only one person in my whole history ever died of cancer. It was my great-grandfather. I never knew him. He died of prostate cancer in 1960. As far as I can determine, he's the only one in our whole family to ever develop any form of cancer.

I've basically got good genes! There's no cancer in our family, there's no heart attacks in our family, although my grandma did have a weak heart. The doc thinks that was linked to her having only a vegan diet when she was younger. The worst thing in our family is obesity, from my mom's father's side of the family. But that can easily be overcome. I am working on that now as we speak! My father and sis has insomnia, but I think the only reason my sis has it is because she drinks coffee late in the afternoon, instead of in the morning like a normal person does.

Anyways, I worked hard to forgive Kirk because of my last meeting with him. Looking back on some of the posts I've made in the past on here, I was downright cruel to him!! Like in one post from 2010, I told Kirk to "go suck a stonefish"!! LOL!! Sorry Kirk! That was indeed mean of me to say that. I saw that and I thought "OMG!! I am nasty!!" Well, I was still feeling upset about my last meeting with him. But I worked hard on forgiving him. I wanted to make that my goal for this year. I'd say I accomplished it nicely. I wanted to be able to say I love INXS 100%, and mean it! Now, I can. Kirk may not want to forgive me for being so mean and hateful to him in the past, but that is OK too. I wouldn't blame him at all. I said some pretty fucked-up shit to him. Things that now, I wish I hadn't said. But I do admire him a great deal now, for the way he kicked cancer's ass!!

I remember back in 1998, I became a companion to a woman who was dying of cancer. She had cancer of the stomach that spread to her pancreas and liver, so she was going pretty fast. I became a companion to her. I remember what her bad days were like. By the end of June that year, she had succumb to the disease. But I remember her as being mostly a happy and cheerful person, even in her suffering and the constant threat of not waking up the next morning. I do miss her. But during her bad days, she looked weak, tired, pale and all she wanted to do was sleep. So, I know Kirk's journey must have been a difficult one. But he pulled through. That's the important thing. And I am back on the sidelines cheering him on, clapping my hands, and saying "Way to go boy!" And I mean it.

KICK Cancer's Ass!

Sometimes you kick. Sometimes you get kicked, baby! Well, this morning I heard about Kirk's battle against prostate cancer. I didn't know he was even sick! That's terrible news! Apparently it was diagnosed a couple years ago, and it was an aggressive form of prostate cancer. If it hadn't been diagnosed as early as it was, Kirk would have been a goner!! Oh my GOD!! That is so close!! I felt bad for Kirk! I know I've been disappointed with him in the past, but putting my personal feelings aside, I must say I am so glad Kirk is now cancer-free. I hope he continues to be cancer-free for many years to come, and he lives a long life only to die at the age of 130 of natural causes. I want that for all the guys! I love these guys!

Well, I have since forgiven Kirk. I'm no longer angry with him. Well, I don't think I was ever "angry", per se. I was disappointed. I expected him to be friendlier than he was. If anything bad were to happen to Kirk, I'd feel sad. Just like when Michael died, and when Timmy got hurt really bad. When I heard this morning Kirk had been battling cancer, I was worried. It scared me! My biggest fear was something bad was going to happen to him. Like he would have a relapse, or he didn't catch it in time. I lost my Michael. I could not handle anymore INXS-related sadness! It'd just about kill me! No matter what my feelings about Kirk were in the past. That does not matter.

Well, Kirk had the infected prostate removed and he was cured. No radiation or chemotherapy was needed. He is doing fine now. Thank GOD! And I do hope he continues to go on and on cancer-free! I mean that with all my heart and soul. To Kirk: I love you man! Keep Kicking cancer's ass!!! Cancer sucks!! I hope someday it gets completely eradicated. There is no doubt in my mind Kirk will completely win this battle. He's strong! Just like my Timmy.

Michael Was Murdered!!

I have to say this, I cannot emphasize it enough. I truly believe my Michael was murdered. I think Bob Geldof was possibly the one who set it up too. I cannot believe Michael would have killed himself. He had too much to live for. He had a daughter that he loved more than anything, so I just find it so hard to believe he killed himself. Though I know Michael was facing some issues toward the end, and losing his senses of taste and smell was no picnic for him. Plus he had to go on a tour that I know he didn't want to go on. He also had some problems with things that were said about him in the press. Poor guy, that would be overwhelming to anyone. But I just have a hard time believing he actually killed himself.

Why someone did not reach out and help him after that incident with Oasis at the Brit Awards is beyond me. That clearly hurt his ego. He was already faced with the possibility of INXS not being thought of as "cool" anymore. Noel's remark about Michael being a "has-been" just made matters worse. Well, look who the "has-beens" are now! LOL!! Oasis are down the tube. They are Beetles wannabes, and ripped off a lot of music by those who were more successful than they were, thinking that it might make them popular again. Eventually, Oasis are going to be completely forgotten. I know I haven't heard but one song by them (a song which totally sucked tiger balls!) But INXS, they are a different story. Thanks to the movie, INXS are becoming big again! Now the younger generation is learning to love them, and I am so happy to see that! Every time I hear of someone younger than 30 years old who say they love INXS, it makes me so happy! It's like a Christmas present for me. I've held my devotion to INXS all these years. I'm hoping these young people just learning about them will continue to do the same. Yes, I have been known to get out of INXS for periods of time, but I always go back to them. I love the music, lyrics, I love the guys, I love the inspiration they've given me, and I love hearing stories by other fans of how INXS inspired them or had some impact in their lives. Anyone who does not believe INXS can have a profound effect on their lives, listen to the song Kiss the Dirt. Listen to it closely. It's a hauntingly beautiful song! With meaningful lyrics.

Well, I just cannot believe Michael would have killed himself. I think he was murdered! I was not there, and I am no psychic. I am not Michael's medium either. I have really nothing to do with the guy, aside from being a loyal fan. But judging by what clues were left behind I have a scenario in my mind about what may have happened after Michael's conversation with Michelle Bennett, who was the last known person to hear Michael's voice. I have no proof of this, and no expertise as a CSI, this is just what I think happened. Bob Geldof often told how Michael got threatening in his call to him. Well, I think because Geldof is above the law in England, and the Australian authorities could not do anything about him being from another country, Geldof hired some hitmen in Australia to break into Michael's hotel room that night, possibly through the window. There may have been 2 or 3 of them, who knows? One guy held Michael in the room at gunpoint, while the other probably filled the bathtub with water, as it was found to be full when Michael was found. They had Michael strip naked, allowed him to call one person, so he called the 2 people he trusted most; his manager in NY and Michelle. Michelle was the only one to pick up the phone. The hitmen beat Michael unconscious and then took him into the bathroom and put him in the tub, then held his head underwater until eventually he drowned. They didn't want to shoot him because that would be too obvious, and they would have to fix his fingers to make it look like he shot the gun himself. So, as a final slap in the face, they arranged it to make it look like Michael died by autoerotic asphyxiation.

They dried him off and tied his leather belt around the door frame and the other half around his neck, and stood him up, then dropped him to make it look like he choked himself and then left by the window, arranging it so he could be found that way, and no one would question the cause of his death. Of course this is just my detailed idea of how I think Michael would have been murdered. I don't know for sure if this is how it really happened. But I just cannot believe that Michael killed himself. Bob Geldof had a motive, he wanted Lily. Well, he got Lily! Sadly enough. Geldof is apparently above the law, so they won't do anything about him. So if anybody killed him, or had him killed, it had to be Geldof. I can't stand that man! I only have a smidgen of respect for him because he took in Lily and raised her seemingly well. But for what he did to my Michael, I will forever hate him!

Subject change. Ya know, ever since I started talking about getting a cat, I've had a bigger appreciation for them. LOL! I expected this to happen. I am still not a cat-fag though. I may learn to like them, but I am never going to gain fag-status. I haven't even fully made up my mind if I am going to get one! Before I do, I want to make absolutely positively certain it's what I want. I don't want to go out and get one only to get rid of it a year from now! I want to feel 201% comfortable with this choice before I go out and get one. I haven't had a cat in years. I want to feel completely good about the choice I make. I want to think of the animal as my family, like I always did with my dogs. And if I do decide to get one, it's going to be MY choice!! Not the dirty dozen's! Not the evil INXS fan's! Not my family's. Just mine. And I'm not going to get 3 or 5 or 20 cats. One is enough! If I do get one, I want to get that Litter Genie, that would be the best thing! Then I don't even have to pick up after it. It can be flushed down the toilet.

Little Memory Bits

Sometimes I sit and think of things and long-lost memories seem to come back at random times. Sometimes they are triggered by little things in my environment. Sometimes they come back in dreams, and then I wake up thinking "Oh! I remember that now!" Now that I am getting older, things that I have long forgotten are beginning to come back to me. And all my life, I've heard  nothing but "When you get older, you forget things more and more!" My grandma was a great visual aid to that concept. But now that I am in my 40s, I'm finding things I haven't thought of in years, even things I've forgotten, are beginning to come back to me. This morning, I've had one such flashback. It was once again about Michael, and it was triggered by looking at one of my oldest pics I still have of him and the gang. It was seemingly insignificant at the time because I was not fully into INXS, though it happened at a time I was beginning to get back into them. It happened on November 23, 1997.

That was the day me and my sis spent with ma in Buckley. She had come up from Salem to spend the weekend with us and grandma. Well she spent Saturday, the 22nd with grandma, and she spent Sunday, the 23rd, with me and my sis, and we went to Buckley. Buckley is a small town, but we managed to find an antique store that was open. We went inside and had some fun. One of the things about that trip that I remember the most was when I went upstairs and there was a big, old western-style saddle. I hopped on it and pretended to be riding a horse, like a real cowgirl! LOL! There was even an old cowboy hat, and I put it on. hehehe! That was my kiddie-style fun! The last thing on my mind was INXS. The saddle cost $25 and if I'd had it at the time, I would have bought it! Just because of that memory! Especially knowing now what was about to be in store for me the next day!

Well, that night, ma decided to leave back for Salem, and my sis and I were on our own. Now, this is the memory that came back to me from that night. Every night, I usually would go back into the family room, which was a room converted from part of the old garage. I usually kept my pics, stories and drawings back there. I had one pic of INXS back then. Only one. And it was covered with dust. At that time, I had just begun to get back into those guys, and it had been coming on little by little. That night, I dusted off that picture, and I started to look at the image of Michael. Then I remember I started to feel sad. I looked at him as if it were the last time I would ever see him. I thought then, I was feeling sad because ma was gone back to Salem, and I wouldn't see her again for a couple weeks. That usually happened. Especially after such a fun day as we had that day. Keep in mind, at this time, I had no idea Michael was already dead, and had been dead since the day before, Saturday the 22nd. I could not figure out why looking at his image on that picture made me feel so sad.

It wasn't until around midnight the next night I found out Michael was gone. It was a complete shocker to me! This is one of those memories that had been stashed away in my memory bank and forgotten until just this morning, when I was looking at his picture again. A picture I have now seen many times, and still hadn't thought of that memory. It only just came back to me this morning. I can't say for sure what triggered that memory, like I said, they've been coming back to me at random times, a little at a time. I have the distinctive feeling more may still yet come. Lots of things happened during that time period when I was just beginning to love INXS again in 1997. I didn't even care that Princess Diana was gone! Everyone who has seen these blogs for the past 10 years knows how I am when I begin to fall in love with someone, or something. IT becomes the only thing on my mind! Nothing else is important. But I was never a fan of Princess Diana to begin with. So, her death meant nothing to me anyways.

All these little memories are starting to come back to me now, even though it is too late to act on them, as far as being with Michael was concerned. But I would have killed to have had a chance to marry him. No other man has ever made me feel the way Michael did. I haven't been in love with another man since the first time I saw Michael. I would have fought Paula to the death to get him! Believe me! I'm not even a violent person! But I would have killed for him, that's for sure! Michael was the only man I ever fell in absolute love with on first sight. I heard when the right man comes along, the woman knows it. Well, I think Michael was my man. Though I often wonder how many other women can say they had the same exact feeling the first time they saw Michael. I'm sure I wasn't the only one. I was thin back then, and supposedly beautiful (lots of other men and boys had the hots for me) though I've always been self-conscious of my looks. I never thought I was beautiful, which is probably why I never went for Michael. I figured he'd look at me and think the same thing. Besides the fact that rock stars never marry fans. I knew that, even back then. But then again, look at Paula. She was perhaps uglier than I ever was, and Michael fell for her. So, looking at what he eventually wound up with (that also eventually killed him), I think maybe I should have acted on my hunch. Perhaps I would be Mrs. Michael Hutchence by now, and Michael himself would still be alive today!

The Goodness of Forums

Well, I don't go into online forums anymore, like Pluba or the Switch forum, I go into groups on Facebook. I've been more active lately on them, and I notice it's turning me into a more social person. Before I started going to these groups, I'd completely ignore friends of friends who were not on my own friends list. But lately that has been changing. I'm no longer that distant and anti-social. I've been finding myself conversing with complete strangers now. That's one thing I've learned by going into these groups. Though when I join a group, I feel I have to converse with others. Otherwise, what's the point in joining in the first place? Doesn't make sense to not speak when you are spoken to. So, in groups I've always been far more social than when I am just conversing with friends on Facebook. The only time I don't respond when I am spoken to in a group is after I completely feel I've had my say. One thing I learned is that people don't like it when you go on and on, they think you're getting irrational. I don't want to present that kind of picture, so after I have said everything I felt I need to say, I leave the conversation.

That was how the dirty dozen mob operated, always going on and on and on, for days, even weeks! Their main target was always this person who called herself Passion Wolf, or Purfect Dream. She was a cat breeder, and they used to hound her on the forum all the time! The biggest mistake Passion Wolf always made was that she would respond to each and every insult the dirty dozen threw at her. That always made the attacks on her go on for days, even weeks. I've seen it before go on for weeks. The dirty dozen is a lot like Roger, the idiot from Bozeman; they aren't happy unless they are bitching about something. Anything! They don't care what. As long as they are angry and bitching, that's what flares their orgasms. LOL! Gotta love the dirty dozen mob! Yeah right!! Like a pack of rats!!! If they can't find something to bitch about, they make something up. And it's almost always something they can be accused of themselves. Yet when they do it, it's OK.

Over the years of going into forums and conversing with strangers, another thing I've learned is when to not say anything at all. Though sometimes that is hard. I'm hard-wired to speak my mind, and I've been doing it a lot more lately. I remember way back when Mcgillicutty was an innocent girl, she showed me the Chihuahuas she was breeding back then, and I spared her feelings by not saying what poor quality they were. After she went bonkers, I realized that was maybe a mistake. I should have been honest with her to begin with. I try to approach everything with finesse, but when I feel something needs to be said, I say it. Sometimes I do talk out of turn. Like when the people on this group were posting pics of Aiden Turner and I thought that was inappropriate on a group that was only supposed to be about Michael and the things in his life. Well, the mod got angry earlier that morning because one person left the group and didn't discuss the problems she was having with the group with the mod, so on that note, I decided this time to tell the mod how I felt, and I did.

Well, when I brought up how I felt, the mod got somewhat angry. She said if he was good enough to present on the official site, it's good enough for the group. Then my initial thought was "Oh OK. So that's your game, eh?" LOL! So now when I see people talking about Aiden Turner on the group, I either ignore or throw in a few "yuks". I still am not a fan of his. I still don't like him. I like the fact he likes dogs though. That's a rarity nowadays.

Ya know, people think dogs are dumb. Dogs cannot be too dumb! The canids are a much older family than the felines. Canines have been on Earth for 60 million years, and still going strong! Felines have only been on Earth for about 20 million years, and they are starting to go extinct. In fact if it weren't for human interference, felines would be completely wiped out by now. Many species already have such a low sperm count they have to be artificially inseminated by humans. One of the things I'm always hearing from cat fags is "dogs are cowardly". My goodness!! If there's one thing a dog is not, it's a coward! They didn't survive the extinction event that killed the dinosaurs by being stupid! Next time a gunman breaks into your house, see if your fat cat saves your life. I know my dogs would! HA! More likely, the dumb cat will save it's own ass. Not even give any thought about your's. Then come back and try to convince me that dogs are the cowards! Yes there is a video that went viral of a cat apparently saving a toddler from a dog attack. But that's just ONE video! And frankly, I never believed the cat attacked that dog to save the kid. I think the cat most likely did it to save it's self. The last thing on that cat's mind would have been the toddler. It was just coincidence that it attacked the dog as the dog was attacking the child and it was caught on camera.

My guess is the cat has probably attacked that dog more than once, and the kid was never present at the time. I just don't believe for one second the cat attacked the dog solely to save the child.

On the other hand, I do enjoy that video because it proves what I've said all along. In high school, there was this boy named Steven Smith, and he didn't believe me when I said a cat can whip a dog, even a pit bull! He even laughed at me. That video proves I was correct about that. Cats have more  natural weapons than dogs. Foxes have retractable claws too, that are very sharp. But they haven't learned yet to use them in their defense. They use their claws specifically for climbing. Foxes are about the coolest carnivores! I like them. They don't deserve the bad rap they've been getting over the years past.