Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

The Popular Kids

OK, not really kids, but anyways, I decided to write a post about why I hate the so-called popular people. I was thinking about this the other day, because someone told me some INXS fan was bullying them. I don't doubt it! INXS fans are just as bad nowadays as U2 fans have always been. It seemed to all start when Rockstar: INXS came on the air. Of course I've always known about INXS fans who were bullies, but back then I think it was all the work of one single fan, and it just grew from there because of that fan's popularity. You ever notice how the most popular people are the ones who become the biggest bullies? Well, I've always found that to be true.

I'm thinking back now to when I first signed on to Facebook. I gained a few friends when I announced that I was signing on. One of those people was a woman I had met a couple times before. She calls herself Duran2INXS on the forums. Her real name is Cindy. I was shocked that she even asked to become one of my Facebook friends, because one thing I know about her is she is a DonnaG supporter. She was nice when I met her in person, but after DonnaG and I cut out the friendship, I fully expected her to take DonnaG's side and not have anything to do with me anymore. Which was really fine with me. But it was a shock to me that she even asked me to add her to my Facebook friends. I thought about it for a few minutes before I added her, because of the fact she is a DonnaG supporter. At first I was going to deny her request, but then I thought about it and decided (against my better judgment) to add her anyways. I thought I would just sit back and see how it goes. If she asked me in the first place, I figured maybe she wasn't as shallow as I thought she was.

A couple of months passed and I hadn't heard anything from her at all. And then suddenly, she deleted herself from my Facebook friends. This, I so totally expected from her. I counted on it so much, I knew who was gone before I even checked my list to see who was missing. Back then it was easy to tell because I didn't have a lot of people on my list. I only checked my list to make sure I was right, and that it was maybe not someone I truly liked. I didn't want her coming back to me, and I did not even care to see anything she would post on Facebook, so I blocked her butt. Now, I don't see anything she posts at all. Her name even gets blocked out when someone mentions her in the comments, which is awesome. I do kinda wonder though if she still supports DonnaG. I can tell her truthfully that DonnaG does not really like her. The only reason DonnaG has anything at all to do with her is because she is a friend of INXS's. DonnaG told me this herself when we were staying at the hotel in LA together. The only people that DonnaG associates with is people who are friends of INXS's because she wants to get into Jon's pants. Average fans, like me, she spits on. I could never be like DonnaG. I have friends, and I like them for who they are. Not for what they can do for me.

But the reason I do not like the popular people is much like why I do not like Cindy or DonnaG. Because they shit on the lesser people like me, who cannot offer them anything or do anything for them. The only thing I can offer anyone is true, pure, unbridled friendship. Some people are satisfied with that, but a lot of others are not. This is a trend I often see with the popular people. They want more than just a simple, honest-to-goodness friendship. For example, the popular people wants everyone to agree with what they say and what they do 100%, no matter what it is. If you disagree with them, even slightly, on any one subject, they drop you like a sack of rocks. I cannot live like that. To me, that is a passive form of bullying. Or controlling. Like they are saying "I'll be your friend as long as you don't give me your opposing opinion." I've blocked a lot of the popular people on Facebook because I don't want them asking me to become my friend on Facebook. It's a kind of defensive strategy with me. Like "get them before they get me". I also take friendship very seriously, even on Facebook. To me, they are friends too, and deserve to be treated as such. But if I disagree with someone, I will let them know it. Doesn't mean I don't like that person, it just means I don't agree with what they say on that subject. I even have these kind of disagreements with family. We each just give our opinions and move on.

I hate to be controlled. I admit I do have a few popular people among my friends list, but they are stronger people who accept me the way I am. I have one friend for example, that supports PETA. I hate PETA with a passion, and I will not support anything PETA does. Nor will I support anyone's interest in PETA. It doesn't mean I don't like this friend as much as my other friends, it just means that I will not support PETA. Thankfully this friend knows this, and is OK with it. That, to me, is the trademark of a real friend. Not someone who only pretends to like me because I could give them something, or because I am friends with someone they support. Unfortunately the latter forms are more common in this day and age. I don't consider them friends. They're nothing more than friendly acquaintences. I was never even DonnaG's friend. I didn't consider her any more than the same, a friendly acquaintence. I was mistreated by her too much to consider her a friend. Especially when she talked her stupid cronies into opening up the delusional mods forum, which strangely enough, is not on the internet anymore. I know DonnaG was behind that forum! She denies it, but I know she was behind what those people there were doing. Because they mentioned things only she knew, or that only she was exposed to. Also, they never once attacked her on that forum, and she is a much more delusional fan than I ever was. In fact when we were in LA together, every time I tried to snap Donna back into reality and tell her she will never get Jon to marry her, she would tear my head off. I was the one with my head in reality on that trip. Not DonnaG. Yet the delusional fans forum never attacked her. So, that alone said everything.

I remember I decided to launch a counter-attack against the delusional fans forum when one of them started to accuse me of killing my Groucho on purpose. That person was lucky she did not say that to my face, I'd have belted her one upside the head and put her on her ass on the floor. You can accuse me of a lot of things. You can say I am crazy, you can accuse me of trying to get Timmy to have sex with me, you can even accuse me of being a hypocrite. I don't care! But one thing I will not tolerate is someone accusing me of killing my pets! That crosses the line. That would be like if I had accused Catsredrum of raping her 13-year old niece. Well, ANY accusations without proper proof is bad, but to me, accusing me of killing one of my beloved pets is totally crossing the line. Even implying that makes me madder than anything. I love my dogs, I would NEVER let one of them die so I could attend a concert. I would have given up going to that concert and meet-and-greet completely, if I thought it would have saved my baby's life.

What got me about that as well was how many of my so-called "friends" actually believed them. You wonder why I hate people so much? That's why. People are so dumb, they will believe anything some evil person says about another without asking the person who is being slammed on. See this is also why I don't want to become popular, and also why I want nothing to do with the popular people. They are the biggest malefactors of spreading gossip, and believing in it too. I admit I say more in my blogs here than I would say in real life, but that is why I have blogs. This blog is my ranting place. But really it only constitutes about 1% of my life (IF that much). This is how I am able to keep calm in the face of angry people, or hateful people. I write about them here. I could say everything I say on here to that person's face, but then that person would be bringing it up in my face for the rest of my life, even after the feeling has gone. And yes, it does go. So I rant on here. Writing about it helps me get over it. I am still currently working on a story that I have Patti involved in. Its one of my revenge stories, and I intend to tell most everything in this story, only this time, explain it with pics.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

Birthday Trip to Vegas

I was watching my sis's video about her trip to Las Vegas last night. One thing I remember about that outing was that I could not go. It was supposed to be her 40th birthday outing and I could not go with her. Did you ever spend months planning something very special and set a date, get everything ready and paid for, and could not wait to do that something, and then the day you are supposed to do that something, something else happens to ruin all your plans? Well, that is what happened on that trip to Las Vegas. The day before we were set to leave, I had a headache. Nothing major, just a headache, and feeling a mite sluggish. But the day we left for the trip, I woke up with a nasty-ass cold!! At first I thought nothing of it. I am a fighter, I thought for sure I can still go on this trip, even though I had a cold. I wasn't about to let a cold stop me from going on this trip! We got in our car, drove to the car rental place, packed all our things in the rental, and headed off on our road trip to Vegas. I could not wait to get down there!

Well, as the drive wore on, I began feeling worse and worse. I started sneezing, coughing, my head hurt, my eyes hurt, I could not stay awake, all my energy was drained, and I had a stuffy feeling in my head and chest. When I would cough, I would cough up junk. It was not the runny stuff that is easy to cough up. This felt more like trying to cough up a gum drop. We had gotten as far as Salem, OR and I told my sis I just could not go on any longer. So, she had to drive me all the way back to Ocean Shores. I felt bad because I was going to try and make it. But I just couldn't. It was dark when we got back to Ocean Shores, and I had to take all my baggage out of the trunk. My sis gathered some more of the things she wanted to take with her and went off to Vegas on her own. I allowed her to go and enjoy herself, and just not think about me. Think about this as the perfect weekend she never got to have, and I was giving to her as her birthday gift.

Well, she made a video of her trip to Vegas. One thing she kept saying repeatedly was that she missed me, and that she was sad because I was not there. For a second, she mentioned, she even wanted to kill herself. That was only her thought for a second, she is not normally suicidal. I thought about what she said, and I think about how things are now, and I get a little sad because now, she has left me. We don't have that opportunity to do things together anymore like we used to. I'd been living with her for so long, now that she's gone, I'd like to have her back. Sitting alone in that house at night gets pretty dang lonely sometimes. I've run through every movie and series that I have, over and over again. I am bored now with playing DVDs. It especially gets lonely at night, when there is nothing else to do, and the only company I have is the dogs. I know my sis knows the feeling, because she seems to have felt the same way in the video.

That's one of the things I now talk about with my counselor, how I crave company sometimes when I cannot get it. I said that if this separation had happened when I was in my 20s, things would have been different. I would have been able to adjust to it much better. But now that I am getting older, and have no companions available at all hours (I am not married or anything), it gets rather lonely. And scary! When I first moved into this place, I had fixed myself some dinner, and I was eating. Well something distracted me and I choked on a piece of food. I could not breathe! I got up and performed an act of self-Heimlich maneuvers on myself and got my windpipe cleared again. But I keep thinking about what if I hadn't been able to do that? What if my throat hadn't got cleared up? I'd have been dead and the dogs would be trapped there alone! No one would have been able to get them out of there, and eventually they would have died with me. That's sad and scary to think about. Things I didn't really worry about when I had family living here.

I asked my sis if she doesn't miss living together even just a little bit, and she said she only missed me when we used to take trips together. That was fun. But I find it hard to believe she doesn't miss me any other way except for the trips we used to take. I thought it was moving to Ocean Shores that made us grow apart. She said it was before we moved to Ocean Shores. But that cannot be true, because we lived in Ocean Shores when she took that that trip to Vegas. If our relationship had grown apart before then, she would not have missed me at all to the point where she wanted to kill herself! When she was visiting here last Christmas, I wanted to know what grew her farther apart from me, and she basically said I bullied her. I asked her to reiterate, because I don't recall ever bullying her. Today we started talking in chat about bullies, and I told her what a bully is. Patti was a bully. Patti did things to me that I would never have done to anyone else. She even decided she didn't like me because we don't eat the same things. I think she also blew her top because she wanted to buy a bottle of booze and I would not pay for it. I couldn't!

If I had been a vegan, I would have understood Patti not wanting a roommate that doesn't eat the same things she does, but I am not a vegan. Vegans tend to be preachy and pushy and I am not that. I don't even want a vegan living in my house! If I'd had kids, the instant one of them told me they are going vegan, I would say to that kid, "OK fine. But get out of my house! I won't have no vegans living here!" I'd even help that kid pack. If I take in roommates, one thing I won't allow is a vegan. Since vegans don't believe in killing any animals, they'd probably bring in fleas, bedbugs, cockroaches, lice and all kinds of other parasites, and simply moving them outside will NOT keep them away. A vegan can go live with another vegan and share their parasites with each other, they won't be welcome to stay in my house. One thing I especially HATE with a passion is cockroaches. I see one in my house and I am OUT! I thought I saw one last night in my house, I killed the damn thing. But it turned out to be just a large beetle. But cockroaches will drive me out of a house quicker than anything. I won't even visit a vegan in their house for fear of the same thing.

Well, it seemed my sis accused me of trying to run her life, and I never did that. I am not like that! When my ma was living with me for a few months, even she was impressed that I did not butt into her business. That is just not how I am. I never was. I do what I do, I help people, I said my sis was more than welcome to join me in a project, or a trip, I try to help people make good choices by giving my opinion, but I was never a bully about it. I never said to anyone that if they don't do what I say I was going to kick them out. I never said that to anyone in my life. I remember in my old Chihuahua group, I kicked one person out after we had a spat, but it wasn't because she would not do what I said, or didn't listen to me. It was because she was saying shit like I don't deserve my dogs just because I don't agree with mixing breeds on purpose, and I felt that was totally disrespectful and uncalled for. Actually, I was just going to suspend her for a few days so she could cool off, but her friend said she was not interested in coming back to the group, so I said OK. That girl thought I kicked her out because she could not see things my way, but she was totally wrong. I never would have kicked her out at all if she had never said I don't deserve my dogs for such an asinine reason as what she said it for. I don't even dislike that person. I just think she needs to get her values straight. People like that, just because you don't agree with them, and let them know it, they think you are either attacking them or being negative.

But I digress. Anyone who thinks I bully them, look at all my posts on here about Patti and compare what I did to them as opposed to what Patti did to me. Patti was a real bully. I am not. I don't even like confrontations. I just give my opinion, and the listener can take it or leave it. Fine with me. But I am going to give it, in hopes the listener can think about what they are doing before they do it. But I would never bully someone just because we disagree. I will stand up for myself and agree to disagree, but I don't have the attitude like "it's my way or the highway." That's just not me. And I don't bully.