Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Sunday, May 31, 2015

Crucifying Pets

OMG!! Now, I discover the muslims have gone too far!! I read an article this morning posted by a friend that says muslims have been crucifying dogs and cats for the past 2 years in Malta. The article even showed dogs and cats nailed to crosses and hung upside down. One of the cats had been skinned alive. Poor animals! And the reason the muslims did this? Because they want to prove themselves to be better than Christians. They want to send a message saying "We will do the same to you Christians very soon!" This is why I fucking HATE muslims!! Talk about a religion that forces it's beliefs down others' throats! Muslims run in the lead of those who do that. People tell us not to judge them. They tell us not all muslims are bad. They tell us there are some good ones out there that are kind, intelligent, gentle people. I want to believe that, believe me I do. I have met some very nice people from the middle east. But I see articles like this, and pictures like the ones in that article, and it makes me lose my whole trust in anything muslim!

I won't post any pics here, because they are too gruesome! But here is the article. Mind you, it's very graphic! I don't even want to see it again! Now, I know I am not too fond of cats, I think there are WAY too many in the world! But no animal deserves to be crucified in this way for nothing more than the sake of proving a point against a religion. It's a terrible waste of life. If they were going to sacrifice an animal, and then eat it, that's different. But to kill innocent animals just because you want to prove a point, that's awful!! And don't even get me started on the pics of crucified dogs. I cried when I saw them. Made me want to hug my babies. Made me miss them a lot more. Made me think of those I lost over the years. Made me think of how close I get to my dogs, I think of them as my children.

Well, in other news, I am getting more copies of other stories I have on my site. I wanted to get stories that I no longer have on my shelves. I will put up a video of them as soon as I get them. I've got 5 stories on order. I have to look them over and approve them on the publisher's site. Then they go international. I can hardly wait to see them.

Saturday, May 30, 2015

Mods On Ignore

Wow! Imagine joining a group just to put the mods on ignore! Geez!! Some people have some nerve! That's one person in a group that the visitors should never put on ignore. Well, I have one person on ignore who is a co-moderator on this group I am a regular on. It's that woman Karin H. But hey! She is an asshole! I don't want anything to do with her anymore. I used to like her, but I don't anymore. Not my fault. She was the one who got up on her high tower and acted like her shit doesn't stink. I didn't. So, I blocked her. But it's OK, there are other mods on the group. So, I don't need her. If the other mods decide I am too much to handle, they will let me know. Usually, I am quite forgiving, but not in cases like this. Well, I don't miss her either. In fact, the forum is more enjoyable without being able to see her posts. She also acts like a know-it-all. She thinks she knows all and sees all, and that what she does is special. Believe me, it's NOT. Recently she's offered to create pics of everyone photoshopped with pics of Michael. Ehh! That's nothing! I've seen her do that lots of times! And if I did want something like that done, I could do it myself!


See, what she does is not so hot! I can photoshop pics too. And even do my own drawings on the computer. AND put a humorous twist in them too. You know me, I've gotta be funny sometimes! And I tell you, Eva's face there looks a LOT cuter than Karin's! She probably offered that to the members thinking it would get me to take her off ignore, but it didn't work. I'll never take her off ignore. I like things better this way. She can ogle little children, I'll keep ogling my Michael and Timmy.

Now, if the mods of this group want to ban me for having Karin on ignore, that's their prerogative. But they will never talk me out of that. Honestly, I don't think Karin gives a shit. She just seems like that kind of person. Heck, that's why I don't like her now. I remember once this picture of Michael was posted on the forum


Karin was so positive that Michael's head was photoshopped onto the body, and she got others to believe it too. She's probably still so loudly positive of that (I don't know, I've had her on ignore for a couple months now). I told one person who believed Karin that Karin is wrong. It's not photoshopped. Michael just has unusual muscle structure. Here's a side view of his arms


See. It's not photoshopped, it's just how his muscles show on his body. Both are great pics of Michael! I admit my mouth waters when I see the above pics! hehehe! But Karin probably still maintains that she is so right about her belief that its a photoshopped pic, even when positive proof has been presented that it's not. That's the kind of person she is, and that is another reason why I don't like her. Believe me, I wouldn't have her on ignore if I did like her, even slightly. I remember she was gone for a couple months. I was even glad to see her back, but when she came back, she had stopped speaking to me, and seemed to be snubbing me on the group. I cannot imagine why, but I think it may have something to do with her finding out I am not as big a cat fag as she is. But I never professed to being a cat lover, let alone a cat-fag. Not to her, or anyone else. I like a few breeds. That's it. Run-of-the-mill mongrel and tabby cats, I don't like at all. Then when she said to me "You have bad taste in men" and then built her own ass up by saying "I have excellent taste in men", that showed me the kind of person she is. And she said that because I would not say that little boy that she is in love with was handsome.

You know, I heard even if you put the mods on ignore, they can still see your posts. LOL! Well, she can see my posts, but she cannot respond. Well, she can, but I won't see any responses she makes. So, what's the point really? LOL! It's like, you can look, but you cannot touch! :D I'm glad!

Well, my blog is visible to everyone, and people can comment. It's a roll of the dice though if they get a response from me, or even if I read it. I don't have to approve comments on here anymore. And here, as on YouTube, I look for key words. Some words I look for tell me if a comment is going to be a good one, or a bad one. If it seems like a nice comment, I read it. If I see any hint of it being a not-so-nice comment, I don't read it, and just close the comment section. I don't delete comments, ever. I truly believe in everyone's right to free speech. But I just don't respond to, and barely read, negative comments.

Well, on another group I am on, someone has been going around joining INXS groups and putting the mods on ignore. No one knows why. I think it's a bot personally. They can do some pretty fucked-up things! And I thought bots died out with the 90s!! But I guess not. They are still around and still doing messed-up things!! In my case, where I am a member of a group that has several mods, I can afford to put one on ignore. But if a group has only one mod, and someone joins the group and puts that mod on ignore, there is something wrong, that's pretty messed-up. A person like that has some serious issues! It's like don't join a group if you don't like the moderator!! Especially if that person is the only mod in the group!!

Friday, May 29, 2015

The Banana Chick

GAWD I've heard about her!! She's a fucking lunatic! But then again, what vegan Nazi isn't a lunatic? Well, evidently she has started attacking Someguy827 on YouTube. He made a video response to her too. Well you just know the damn vegans are going to side with her, and then use arguments like "Look at her and look at you! She's thin and healthy and you're fat and sickly and ugly!--and blahblahblahbullshit!" Give me a break!! That chick does not look healthy to me. Just because a person is thin does not mean they are healthy. She probably eats her weight in vitamins every day just to have enough energy to step out her door. But enough of that BS. The reason I don't like this chick is not just because she hounded Someguy827, but also because she said she would kill her own family--her mother, father, siblings--just because they are not vegan. This is why if I were to ever have a child that decided they wanted to go vegan, I would disown him or her! I won't have no damn vegan Nazis in my house!! Even if the kid is 4 years old and makes that choice, if he, or she, is old enough to make a choice like that, they're old enough to live out on the streets on their own away from society! That's just where vegan Nazis belong; AWAY from society!!! That would be the one and only decision I would not support my child on.

This is one reason I didn't want to have kids. My stepmom, one of her grandchildren, decided she wanted to go vegetarian because PETA came to her school and forced their beliefs on the kids there, telling them why they should not eat meat. So next thing she knows, Madison is a vegetarian. I'd have told her to get out of the house at that point! Next thing I bet will happen is Madison is going to tell everyone how to live their lives, and probably will threaten her whole family if they don't go vegetarian. I hope that doesn't happen, but it probably will. Vegetarians/vegans are most obnoxious when they are teenagers. Teenagers have a thing anyways where if you don't agree with them, they think you are automatically against them and they want you dead because of it. Can you imagine what teenagers who are vegans/vegetarians would be like? I can! I've come across them many times. Sometimes I just want to strangle them they make me so mad!! Well, ALL vegans make me mad anyways! Mostly because they think prey animals should have the same rights as humans have.

Well, this banana chick only eats nothing but bananas. While I love bananas myself, I couldn't eat nothing but bananas. I'd be dying to get some real sustenance! I'd want some savory flavors before too long. I'd want a nice, fat cheeseburger! LOL! Or some crunchy bacon. Or both at once! To me, eating bananas for every meal would be like eating cake for every meal. It's more of a dessert item than a 3-meals a day item. Or sometimes I've been known to have bananas for breakfast. I couple them with yogurt usually, NON-vegan yogurt. hehehe! I wonder if PETA told Madison about the thousands of healthy, adoptable pets they kill every year, and the many times they have hired terrorists to bomb schools and research labs, often with people in them, and the fact PETA doesn't want to do anything to help the millions of dogs and cats that are killed for the meat industry in China because they call it "sweet justice for cows, pigs and chickens". Most likely not! PETA wants everyone to think they do nothing but good stuff. Teenagers are especially gullible. But if I were Jennifer, I would sit Madison's little butt down and inform her of these things, so that hopefully she does not grow up to believe PETA is anything but laughable hypocrites!

So are vegans. I mean this banana chick says all people who eat meat should be killed. She thinks they don't deserve to live, and that is PETA's mentality too. I heard my Michael supported the Sea Shepherd in their battle against the slaughter of whales. I said "I just hope he didn't support PETA" if he did, and I ever found out about it, I'd lose ALL my respect for Michael. Believe me, I would be in that room right that second, tossing away all my pics of him. This time, for GOOD! But I do hope he did not support PETA. I once heard some INXS fans who were also PETArds forced their beliefs on JD Fortune. JD wore their shirts and shit, probably to please those fans just that second. But I hope he threw the shirts away when he got home. And he probably did! If so, GOOD FOR YOU, JD!!!! If not, I'd be very disappointed in him! He had a dog! Out of respect for that dog, I hope he's not a PETA supporter! I have dogs too, I'd never support PETA!! I respect my babies FAR more than that!!

Anyway, I've said this before, this is why so many vegans get threatened by non-vegans. Because they say things like "If you eat meat, you don't deserve to live!" then they turn around and whine because some non-vegan threatened them. That banana chick believes going vegan should not be a dietary choice, it should be forced on all of us. I like how Someguy827 described how he felt about that kind of logic. He said "How about I put a gun to your head and told you to eat a roast beef sandwich and threaten to blow your brains out if you don't?" I often wondered how the vegans would think that felt if we actually did sit them in a chair, put sandwiches in front of them with real turkey, roast beef and chicken meat in them, put a rifle to their heads, and told them they have to eat those sandwiches, and if they refused, we'd blow their brains out. How would they like that? They'll probably tell you "I wouldn't care!" but deep inside, I wouldn't believe they wouldn't really care, because that would be a violation of their rights to choose. And I'm sure they'd want to live. Well, Gary Yourofsky wouldn't, he was the idiot that laid himself in front of a car, and wanted to be run over for the sake of the animals. But Gary Yourofsky is a psychopath! Secretly, I wish someone would run over him! Get him, and others like him, out of this world for good! Well, maybe not so secretly. LOL!! But if we were to kill all the vegan Nazis, the world would be a better place, that's for sure!

Ya know, I've got a lot of royalty in my background. If I were queen, I'd bring back public beheadings. Along with the dirty dozen mob, I'd love to see the vegan Nazis join that fate! No more vegan Nazis!! I'd spare my friends though. Gosh! I wonder if this banana chick has done a video stating her feelings about me? LOL! If she hasn't yet, I'm sure she will after reading this post!

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Happy Birthday to Me!

LOL!! OK, so I am 41 today, and like when I was a kid and lost a tooth, I couldn't wait to wake up and see if the tooth fairy left the usual quarter under my pillow. I couldn't wait to see who else left messages for me on my Facebook page. Thank you friends!! Love you all!! Well, I also woke up to seeing one of my Facebook friends was gone. Usually this kind of thing does not bother me, but I figured out who it was. It was someone who had been my loyal friend almost ever since I first created that page. Or so I thought she was loyal. I'd always been a good friend to her. I thought all my friends knew I was a bit eccentric, and they accepted that when they accepted me as their friend. Why she deleted herself from my Facebook friends would sure make the vegans happy! LOL!

Yesterday she told of a rattlesnake showing up at her husband's work place and bit someone in their boot. Fortunately the fangs didn't penetrate. But apparently the snake hitched a ride from Texas, trying to get away from the flooding and it wound up at her husband's workplace. She said they killed the snake, and I just thought that was wrong! They could have had it humanely removed and taken to a wildlife facility, but no, they chose to kill the poor animal, that had already been through too much! More than anyone should endure. And I just thought that was wrong. I said on her post "Poor snake!" and I guess that is when she deleted herself from my friends. Was I wrong to feel bad for the snake? I don't think so. It kinda makes me laugh because the dumbass vegans are always accusing me of having no compassion for animals. Well, this is positive proof that I do! I'm even willing to let go of an old friend as opposed to not feeling compassion for an animal that I don't even like very much. I'm scared of rattlesnakes myself, but I just think it's wrong when people just kill them for pleasure because they are there. When it comes to venomous snakes, I always think "What would Steve Irwin had done in a case like this?" Probably the same thing I would think should have been done.

Well, I am sorry this person decided she doesn't like me anymore, but I am not going to feel bad about showing compassion for an animal. Especially when I think they could have used better methods to remove the snake without taking an axe and killing it, or however they did it. Makes me sad she decided to delete herself, but ehhh I'll get over it! Probably before I even finish typing this post. hehehe! Like I've said many times before, it's MUCH easier on me when the other person deletes themselves. I don't feel nearly as bad. Would I accept her back? Probably not. Sometimes I do, like if they delete themselves by accident, I'll take them back. But I don't want anyone on my friends list who decides they don't like me for being me. I've tried being like other people, and I just can't. I always revert back to being me. I'm the only me I have and I like the way I am. Incidentally, that is why I never sent this one person a friend request, the woman who blows her top anytime someone on the group slams Paula. She's an OK chick, but I don't really want her on my friends list. I don't like the way she argues with everyone who doesn't like Paula Yates like some kind of flaming homosexual. Hopefully when she gets older, and has had more experience with people, she'll get over doing that. But for now, I try not to get too close to her. Maybe when she reaches my age, she'll discover it's pointless to argue with people about their likes and dislikes. I learned that. Took me years, but I learned it.

But I just had a scary thought. What if she is my age? Or perhaps older? OMG!! Then I'd feel sorry for her. You know she NEVER posts in the group unless someone bashes Paula. I think only once or twice I've seen her post on a thread that had nothing to do with Paula, and no one had even talked about Paula. I don't even think she's a Hutch fan. I think she's just a Paula fan. Sometimes I want to say "a Paula fag", LOL!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Guess I'm Back!

Back in the saddle. I wanted to type up another blog post before the end of the month. I just haven't felt much like posting blogs lately. I need to get back to work on my stories. I've finished 3 stories, of course they were rather short stories. One is about farm dogs, which I started in 1990, and never finished. Then tried to rewrite the story again in 1991, and got a little farther in the story, but still never finished. I'm very bad at endings. I think I know why. When I got those books back from "Sam", I remembered, I left a lot of stories from that era unfinished. I never perfected the art of endings. Or did I mention that already? I may have mentioned this a couple of posts ago. In case you readers haven't noticed, I never look back at former posts. Only rarely. And usually when I do look back, it's from years before. I just got those books back from "Sam" recently. I did notice one thing about them, that I did leave a lot of stories unfinished. They consisted mostly of rough drafts, or clips inspired by other stories, or even my own take from TV shows. So, I am taking stories that were originally my own and putting them on the site. Right now, I am working on the story where Uncle Martin is impeached by his own gang, from 2007. I completed that story shortly after we moved to Ocean Shores.

I want to get all the stories I am ever going to put up on the site finished so that I can move on. I'm even working on some compilations. I want to do a compilation next of my INXS stories. I'm going to include the 2 stories I have up already as well as a story I am not going to release on it's own. It's titled "Jon's Nightmare" and it consists mostly of Jon Farriss asleep on the sofa, having a dream. The dream is the main portion of the story. It's a short story, but it's cute. But that's why I won't release it by it's self. Too short. I was thinking about how to finish that story. I have 2 ending scenarios. I was thinking of having the rest of the band wake him up from that dream, in which case all the guys will be involved, including Michael. Or I can have Jon wake up by himself by something in his dream. I remember my sis and I got this idea back in 1998, and I wrote it down on a neon green tablet. Well, I found that tablet while going through my plastic bins right after I moved here, and it was such a cute story idea, I decided to keep it and try it out. I've been putting those ideas in this sketchbook I found at the bottom of one of my boxes that hadn't been unpacked since the first time we moved. I must have just forgot I had that sketchbook. Well, I've been putting it to use, jotting down some story ideas from many years ago. There is one story I found from 1999 where Lisa and Davy are bored and decide to go for a walk. They catch up with a friend of Lisa's named Beth and all decide to spend the day at the zoo. Incidentally, its the same zoo Davy was sent to as a baby, after he was taken away from Gracie. It's just down the hill from Lisa's house. That turned out to be a cute story!

In Gracie's Odyssey, the first place Dave winds up at is the quarantine station. In this story, which I titled "A Day At The Zoo", it's the last place they visit, and quite by accident. The station is tucked behind a room Lisa and Beth think may be the bathroom. But it turns out it isn't. Davy strolls through the station, looking at the animals in their cages. Anyways, it's a cute story, one I do intend on putting on the site. He's even reunited with one of his old friends from his first night. For that reason alone, I thought this story would be cute, so that's why I redid it.

Well, on this one group I am on, there is a girl there who seems to think it is her public duty to defend Paula like she's a relative or something. She just cannot seem to accept the fact that there are people who just do not like Paula. I am one of those. She and I argue all the time. Well, she's never going to change my mind about Paula. Paula did something to Michael, I know she did! Exactly what I don't know, but she did do something. And for that reason, I don't like her. I never will. My mind is made up about that. Well, we play together on the forum almost as much as we argue, so she can be fun. Just that her constantly trying to change my mind about Paula is beginning to give me the ass. Its not so much how she goes about it, it's that she does go about it at all. She likes Aiden Turner, I don't try to change her mind about that. So I'm like "Leave me alone!!!!" when it comes to Paula. It's my choice not to like her. Not her's. If I want to like her, I will learn. But if I don't, no force in Heaven or Earth will make me like her if I don't want to. It's pointless to argue. This morning, when she answered a comment I left yesterday on a post, she got angry at me because someone said Michael's daughter Lily looks prettier than Helena. Lily is cute, but only because she takes mostly after Michael. She hardly looks like Paula at all. I said to that commenter "Imagine if Lily had been Helena's and Michael's child instead of Paula's. She could have been a knock-out!" Well, those Paula genes are still there, and none of Paula's other kids that she had with Geldof look as good as Lily. So, it was definitely Michael's genes that gave Lily her cuteness. Well, this other person did not like me saying that and said it was disrespectful. I almost said to her "Well, deal with it!" LOL!! I almost said that!!! I have a feeling I'm going to be sorry I didn't!

Well, for the sake of the mods there, I don't go bashing Paula anymore. But I still just don't like her, and I will say it. That's not bashing. That's being honest. Bashing would be saying how I really feel about Paula and why. She's an ugly, despicable, mean-spirited whore who is burning in Hell now. That is bashing. I can do it here, but I promised the mods I would no longer do it on the group. Actually my ma once knew a woman exactly like Paula. It was a woman named Donna. Well, Donna was exactly how I just described Paula. Donna once said to my ma "I'm going to take your ex husband and I'm going to take John away from you too." In the same respect, I heard Paula used to say the exact same thing about Michael. Michael however was weaker than my pa and John. John is the man my ma is now married to. Donna is still single. Kindof funny really. But Donna was a hateful, mean-spirited person. I remember I was once forced to spend a weekend with her and I was uncomfortable the whole time! I just didn't know how to tell ma. She did sleep with my dad one night, and never came back. I told dad NOT to hook up with her, because if he did, I'd leave and never see him again. Well, he had no intention of staying with Donna. Thank GOD!! I hated Donna!!! Donna said she was a bitch. Well, she wasn't a bitch. She was an asshole. There's a difference. A bitch is just a girl with some spark. Donna had more than spark, she had unmitigated gall! And she wasn't even the least bit attractive. No way would someone like my dad go for her. But I wonder if she did something to him that night she spent with him. His personality seemed to change after that night.

Anyways, the way Paula was, sounds just like Donna. Donna forced herself on my father, and tried to force herself on me and my sis too. And John. But neither one of us would let her go too far, and I was going to say good bye to dad and never come back again if he had taken up with Donna. I was perfectly willing to do that! I had the means. My then boyfriend was being transferred to another part of the country, he asked me to go with him, and I could have changed my mind and went. The only reason I didn't is because I didn't know anyone where he was moving to. I had no family there. My sis also still needed firm, loving care too, and I felt like it was up to me to give that to her. But anyways, notice how the story of Michael and Paula and Donna and my dad are almost alike. Donna went for my father and got him, had sex with him one night, shortly after he and ma separated, and Donna did something to alter my father's personality that night. The only differences are Donna never had a baby with my pa (that I know of) and my pa knew to kick her out of the house like an old, smelly shoe before it went too far. Michael didn't. I guess because he was desperate for a baby.

Well, I said to this poster that I did not say Lily wasn't cute. But that's only because she takes mostly after Michael. Well!! It's true!!! Michael had good genes. Paula evidently didn't. Her other kids are not as cute as Lily. Bless their hearts! Pixie I have some respect for as a Chihuahua owner, but that's it.

And speaking of Michael, I had this dream last night that had me convulsing in orgasms! I dreamed that Michael and Timmy chased me down, Michael caught me first. Next thing I know he and I are doing it doggy-style! I actually saw his penis in full erection in the dream!! Ohhh!!! I think I was even shouting in my sleep "Oh yes baby!! Yes! Yes! YESSS!" LOL!! That was all I remember about the dream. Good to know at least I am still able to have orgasms!! Even though I think I am going through menopause now.

****************************************NEW DEVELOPMENT***********************************

I heard from this girl again who always argues with people who do not like Paula. She said "If I was (Lily) and I came in here and saw the comments you made, I would hate you! I mean literally hate you, for insulting my mom." My response to her was "She can hate me if she wants to, it does not bother me. But it does not change how I feel about her mom. Still love her father though." LOL! Actually, when you reach my age, and have had as many experiences with people as I have, the people who like you become much more important than the people who don't like you. That's one thing I've learned over the years, especially keeping blogs. Believe me, Lily would not be the first person to hate me for speaking my mind and standing my ground, and she sure wouldn't be the last!

*************************************LATEST DEVELOPMENT 6/1************************************

I think Jannah has put me on ignore. LOL!!! I say GOOD!! I was going to suggest it anyways next time I saw her. Probably best for both of us. Because I am always going to be me, and she can't stop me from being who I am, and I don't like Paula, and her blood pressure is going to keep going up every time I say that, or even imply it. So, yes. Please keep me on ignore Jannah. I'm glad one of us did it first.

Friday, May 22, 2015

What Everyone Loves

I remember when ma and I were on our trip, we started talking about what we like and dislike about each other. I could not believe it. She actually wanted to know what it was I disliked about her! Usually she shuts conversations like that off. But this time, she actually wanted to know. I threw up my arms and shouted "At last! My chance!" Just like Michael did in this one interview. LOL! Well, it looked cuter when he did it, but I was actually happy, and a bit stunned, that ma wanted to hear what was wrong with her. One of the big things I always disliked about ma is that whenever I love something, she always tries to make that thing I like look bad in some way. Like, I love lemurs. But I hate tigers. Well, when ma found out I hate tigers, and that lemurs were my favorite animals, she was like "Lemurs are ugly". And I know the only reason she said that was because I said I hate tigers and she likes them. She also said Siamese cats are ugly, and again, it was only because I said I loved them. She had a Siamese once before, I know she does not really think that. She was just being cynical. That's the one thing I always disliked about her. Then she pulls at straws to find things wrong with lemurs.

The reason she always was like that is because she always had some kind of strange notion that everything she likes, I decide I don't like. Well, I've hated tigers now for almost 30 years. It was lemurs though that saved me from falling into this panther craze. I thank GOD for that! I've seen how panther fanatics are, and I would hate to become like them! I would hate myself because of it. I would feel like I was a panther lover more for them than for myself, and that would make me lose all the respect I have in myself. I always prided myself on being an individual, not going with the crowd. I want to be able to keep that up. Well, ma apologized for being vindictive. I don't mind if she really does not like lemurs. But I would hope it would be for a much better, and more sensible, reason than the fact that I like them instead of tigers. I expect logic like that from youtube trolls, but my ma has always been so grown-up, mature and intelligent. That just makes her seem immature, childish and stupid.

We also talked a lot about Celtic Thunder. She really likes Damien and Ryan. I've seen their pics. Damien has the bluest eyes!! Ryan isn't bad looking either. But I told her I could never fall in love with them. They're both so much younger than I am. I have this strict, personal rule that I never fall in love with someone younger than me. Especially someone I could have possibly babysat with. I told ma it's like my friends being madly in love with Aiden Turner. She asked me "What's an Aiden Turner?" I told her "It's a thing that a lot of my friends are fawning over now, under some delusion that he resembles Michael Hutchence." I still say he does not resemble Michael. Not MY Michael! Michael Jackson, maybe. My Michael, No way! One of my friends posted something about Michael Hutchence and Cochita Wurst are Jon Snow's real parents. LOL! Jon Snow is a character Kit Harington plays. I definitely see the resemblance to Michael, but not Cochita. And Cochita is gay! He couldn't be anyone's father. Or mother. Well, I always said Kit Harington could be Michael's twin. When I saw him for the first time, I'd have swore I was looking at a pic of my Michael. I had to do a double-take!!

Surprisingly, a lot of my friends are my age, and fawning like teenagers over an ugly dude like Aiden Turner!! Well, let's face it. People today LOVE ugly! What was once considered ugly to the populace long ago, is today considered handsome. And what was once handsome long ago, would today be considered ugly. Me, I am an old fashioned girl. I know what is gorgeous, and what isn't. And Aiden Turner isn't it!! Well, I no longer can say I hate the guy. I have a little bit of respect for him, as a fellow dog-lover. He's just lucky he owns a dog! If he didn't, like say if he had a cat instead, I would have no respect for him at all. But dog-lovers are a dying breed. Cat-lovers are a dime a dozen today. I can afford to look at them in disgust. And most men who prefer cats over dogs, they are the meekest, mousiest men you'll ever meet! I wouldn't have been surprised if the green river killer was a cat-person! When I used to hear about him, and the fact some people believed he was a truck driver, I expected to see a big, burly man, broad-shouldered and heavily-muscled, athletic, even somewhat handsome. Somewhat! LOL! But no, when he was finally revealed, and I saw him for the first time, he was a shy, mousey, hunched-back, bald-headed, pudgy, mild-mannered nerd with glasses, the kind of man I almost expect to be a cat-person more than a dog-person.

I remember I once had someone, named Adam, among my Facebook friends, and he preferred cats over dogs. In fact, he said he'd never had a dog in his life. I remember one day he asked why he could never find a woman to love him. Well, I got a good look at his pic, and I must tell you, he was not very attractive. Sadly, most women go for men who are attractive more than someone who simply has a good heart. And Adam was not attractive at all. Since he'd never had a dog in his life, he had a pudgy belly. He also had eyes that made him look like a serial killer, and a fat face with thick eyebrows that slanted downward and made him look mean. But again, he is the type I almost expect to prefer cats over dogs. He was probably lazy too, as most cat people are. That's why we have more fat people around today than we ever did in the past. Most people today prefer cats over dogs. But you cannot take a cat for a walk. Some people try, but most people get a cat because they don't have to walk it like they would a dog. Thus people today are lazy and fat.

Now, that's not to say all men who own cats instead of dogs are fat and unattractive. Just saying that is the norm. Cats alter peoples' brains. I think they also affect a woman's reproductive organs to produce fat, lazy, unattractive kids too. Such was the case with Adam I think. Since he said he's never had a dog in his life. His mama probably owned cats when she was pregnant with him, and the parasites those cats carried affected him during his development, and made it so he was born unattractive. That's a possibility. But that's also been the case with a lot of men I've seen who preferred cats over dogs. Someone once told me on YouTube that owning a particular animal does not affect how a person looks. But in some ways, it does. Or at least, I'm comparing it to what I've mostly seen in such cases. Not all, but most. It'd be kindof funny if I found out Luke Arnold was a cat-person, where Aiden Turner is a dog-person, and I've been saying all these months that if I were 20 years younger, I would have fallen madly in love with Luke Arnold, and I said I would never fall in love with Aiden Turner! LOL! Boy! That would be putting my foot in my mouth!!!

Well, I like Luke Arnold for one main reason, and that is because he was the first to help renew my love for Michael Hutchence. Before I saw the movie, I had given up on Michael I thought for good. I thought NOTHING could ever make me love Michael again the way I used to back in the early days. I thought any feelings I had for him were ancient history, never to surface again. But I was wrong. When I saw that movie for the first time, and I cried at the end, it told me I still had feelings for Michael. Strong feelings! Since then, my love for Michael has grown steady, and stronger than it ever was before. Now, I love him to pieces! And sometimes I still weep over him. That is something Aiden Turner will never inspire. No matter if he plays the part of Michael in the next movie, or at all. Even if the next movie turns out to be better than that last one. What was once broken has already been repaired, and it cannot be rebroken again. At least I hope not. But this is how my life normally plays out.

Well, speaking of which, I remember about a month or so ago, one of my friends on this group I am on said that her house is haunted with Michael. She seems level-headed and I always believe when people tell me about spirits in their house, because I've lived in a haunted house before myself, and the paranormal fascinates me now. But a few things bothered me about this person's claim. If Michael were going to haunt a person or place, don't you think the place he would go would be a place he loved as opposed to a house he never lived in, didn't know existed, and he had absolutely no connection with? And if he was going to visit anyone, wouldn't he be visiting Lily, as opposed to a fan? I know Michael looks after and does things for his fans from beyond the grave, I've felt it myself. But my experience with spirits has always been if they are going to stay in a place in this world, it's usually some place they loved in their lives. And if they are going to visit a person, it'd be someone they knew and loved.

Well, I remember I half-jokingly said to this fan that if Michael is in her house to send him to my house, I had some things I wanted to say to him. Ya know, I think she did!! I have this old cut on my side that occasionally gets infected and puffs up, and it hasn't bothered me since long before I left Bozeman. Well, one night, I was thinking about it, and I said to myself that I was so grateful that that sore has not got infected in a long time! I figured whatever was wrong with it, it was completely over doing that. Well, no sooner had I said that, the exact area where I have that cut got a little irritated and began to itch, burn and turn red. The next morning, there was a huge lump there and it hurt like hell!! I wondered if that was Michael sarcastically saying to me "Here I am, as you wanted! Now I will make your life miserable for scratching up my picture!" I said to myself "This is either GOD, or Michael! If it's GOD, then HE has a sick sense of humor! If this is Michael, then he must be pissed at me for scratching up his picture!" That was the first thought that came into my mind. I said to Michael "I said I was sorry for doing that! What more do you want man?!" Well, I cannot doubt this person anymore. As soon as I said that, the sore on my side began to get better and heal. It was the weirdest thing! Next to that time when I was 7 years old, and I was sleeping in my bed and I felt 2 fingers jolt out from under my pillow and rub the back of my neck!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Disillusioned

Wow! I realized it's been over a month since I made my last blog post! I just didn't have much to say. Then my computer had to be sent in for repairs. So I was without it for a while. And the library here is not like it was in Port Angeles. At the library in PA, I could get on a computer and stay on there all day if I wanted to. Here, as in most places, they only give you an hour on their computer. Sometimes I wish I had never left Port Angeles! LOL! But I didn't like my living arrangements. But at least now I know what living in an RV is like. I wasn't too crazy about it, because of the constant leaks and dampness, mold and mildew, and bugs!!

I dunno, I think I'm just getting bored with blogs. Just a natural cycle. I've been working more on my stories. I want to get them all done and onto the site. This past week, I've finished 3 stories and put them up on the site. This is not an entirely easy process either. Everything has to be just perfect. One story I completed, I began in 1991, and it remained unfinished until this year. I even had a little bit of my ma's help finishing the story. It was a story that had a lot of potential, but it sat unfinished for many years. A lot of my stories back then were like that. That is why I am so bad at endings, I never got the practice I needed early on. Well, I am getting better. Some of the best stories I have written, I am beginning to complete them. Some have even been unfinished for many, many years. Yet if I think there is potential in the story, I don't throw it away. I figure eventually I will come up with an ending. So, I keep those stories. The only time I scrap stories is if I think they're going nowhere.

Ma came over and stayed for the week last week, I had to go down to California for something very important. She came and took me there when I needed it. For that I thank her very much. She will never know how much I appreciated that. I enjoy going on rides with her. We talk most of the way. Well, one of the things we talked about was INXS. She is still bothered by me kissing my Timmy and Hutch pics. hehehehe! She says it's sickening. Well, I love these guys, and the only way I can show affection to them, since I don't have either Michael or Timmy with me, is to kiss their pics. Ma brought up "Do you think (Timmy) is kissing and swooning over your picture? Believe me, he's NOT!" Believe me, I know that!! I said to her "Frankly, I don't care if Timmy sees my picture and wants to punch it. It doesn't change how I feel about him." I understand Timmy does not carry around pics of me. I know I am not the love of his life, and I know I don't want to be either. He's married!! I understand that. I don't love Michael OR Timmy in that way. There are different kinds of love. There is the kind of love a wife feels for her husband. There is the kind of love a mother feels for her child. There is the kind of love a boy feels for his dog. There is the kind of love a friend feels for another friend. There is the kind of love a sister feels for her brother. And there is the kind of love a girl feels for a favorite celebrity. The kind of love I feel for Michael and Timmy is more along the lines of being puppy-love. It's less than what lovers feel, but more than what friends feel. It's more comparable to how a dog feels towards it's master.

I told ma the reason I talk to my pics of my favorite guys is because I truly feel pictures capture the soul. I feel like a piece of their spirit is within those pics. It's a comforting feeling. Even when I was not into INXS, I still felt like a bit of their spirit was attached to those pics. That feeling I had about Michael in 1995 did not just happen. It was a strong feeling. And for someone who was not a close friend of his, I was amazed at how accurate it was. And 2 months before he died, I began getting strong feelings about him again, and I didn't know why, after barely even thinking about them for 5 years. Something had to be telling me something. I think it was his spirit. The piece of his spirit that was attached to those pics. As crazy as that may sound, there is just no other way I can explain having such strong feelings towards him. When I lived with Patti and Chris on that job back in 1992, I kept a pic of INXS over my bed. It provided some degree of comfort. But strangely enough, I did not totally dismiss INXS after I lost that job like I did every other rock group I had been into when I had that job. I even dismissed Dian Fossey! And I never thought ANYTHING would make me dismiss her!!! She's my one big idol! She's the one I always looked up to. Well, I reinstated her as my idol again after a 2 year break. But Roxette, that I had been such a huge fan of before, I dropped them. MC Hammer, I used to like him before I had that job, not after I lost that job. New Kids on the Block I was also once a fan of. Not no more after I lost that job. The only one I remained even halfway faithful to was INXS.

I haven't been into any of those groups since I lost that job. The only one that I did put away after I lost that job that I got back into was Dian Fossey, and I am afraid it may be just because I am hopelessly devoted to her. I admire her strength. Though it was that strength that was her death warrant, still, one has to admire strength like that. I draw a lot of my own strength from her's, and I've gotten better over the years. Thanks to the inspiration I got from her. I also learn a lot from watching such shows as Judge Judy. But Dian Fossey stood her ground all the way up to the end. I wish I had done much more of that in my life time!! For that reason, I love her to pieces!! One of the things that made her so strong, she was not a people-person. So she pretty much didn't care what others thought of her. That's the way I've been lately. I don't need people, don't really care for them either. When you reach that point in your life, believe me, it makes life a lot more enjoyable! I have friends and I do love them. But at the same time, I can also take people or leave them. Doesn't matter to me. I'm beyond that point now. I still feel very proud of the way I stood my ground after the dirty dozen mob told the people in Bozeman about this blog. I'm just tickled pink that I held up even after Andy's attacks on me, and Roger's name-calling. I love it that I did not back down. That shows how much stronger I am than I ever thought I was! Probably even stronger than the dirty dozen mob thought I was! I know they revealed my blog there believing I was going to weaken, plead for mercy and apologize to everyone. But no, that did not happen. The only person I apologized to was Deb, and that was it. I even told her flat out I was not going to apologize to her husband. It made him angrier, but I didn't care. He was the one who was wrong in this case. Not me. I did very well holding my ground against him and everyone else there. But again, I learned from the best! Thank you Dian Fossey!!

If I ever wind up dead for speaking my mind, just add me to the long list of people who died fighting for what they believe in. That will be my honor, and I will deem it a pleasure. Hopefully it will help bring awareness in some small way to what I am battling for. Small things like that soon turn into big things. Those big things eventually get worked out to everyone's satisfaction.