Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

RIP Odessa

Well, it happened, and I am sad about it now. Odessa was my sister's dog, a long coated chihuahua, though most people who saw her thought she was a pomeranian. I loved Odessa as much as my sis did, because we used to live together, and she is my Vegas' mother. When my sis came back from her trip to Great Falls, Odessa got gravely ill. She was having trouble breathing. so my sis took her to the vet immediately. The vet gave her some diuretics, because she had a large amount of fluid in her lungs, and some pills because Odessa had an enlarged heart. The heart meds would have been something that Odessa would have to have been on for the rest of her life. My sis told me Odessa was not eating, but drinking a lot. That was when I got a bad feeling. But I kept positive for my sis, but I also remembered how that was what Groucho's last day was like. So, deep inside, I knew Odessa was not going to make it. My sis wanted to do everything she could though to keep Odessa going.

I kept thinking that perhaps Odessa had been bitten by a tick, they have some nasty-ass ticks in Great Falls. They have ticks that cause rocky mountain spotted fever. I keep wondering if Odessa may have been bitten by a tick there. Or maybe even a bad flea. Montana has rodents that carries the plague too. Something was different about this trip. Odessa had been on many trips before, and nothing ever happened to her. She spends one weekend in Great Falls and all of a sudden, she gets gravely ill. I don't understand why! Something happened on this trip that had a negative effect on Odessa. Someone may have even poisoned her. But my sis said Odessa never puked, and did not get as lethargic as Groucho was. On her last day, Odessa was still very responsive, and even barking. She died early in the morning, on my sis' bed while she was in the kitchen getting a drink. I'm sad. I never even got to say goodbye to her. I wanted Odessa to leave this world with the peace of mind that her baby is still with me, and very well loved.

Well, at least Odessa is out of pain, and no longer blind. The night before she died, I was thinking about her, and I started to cry. I cannot explain it. I think I just knew deep down inside that Odessa was going to die. But I kept telling myself "No! She's going to be OK." But inside, I think I knew she was going to die. I just never suspected that it would be that soon. And I didn't expect her to die on my sis' bed. I kinda expected that my sis would have to have her put to sleep. That would have been better for Odessa. But I know how my sis felt. She wanted to try and save her. Putting any pet to sleep is not an easy choice to make, but we do it because we don't want to see our baby suffer. It was hard for me to have Groucho put to sleep. I so badly wanted her to come home. But at the same time, I knew it was the better thing to do for her. My sis was going to do the same with Odessa if she hadn't recovered. There comes a time though when we have to say "I can't do anything else for this dog. I have to let her go." It's never easy, but it becomes necessary sometimes. And I would have preferred Odessa had been put to sleep instead of suffering with breathing problems all last week. But I am not mad at my sis, because I know how hard it really is to make that choice. Especially since Odessa was her best friend. My sis doesn't have another dog to lean back on. It may be a while before she does get another one, but I told her a rescue may be the cheapest and easiest way to go.

I feel bad for my sis, because I know how much she loved Odessa. And when I called her on Friday, just a couple days ago, she was telling me she cannot even stand to look at Odessa now. And I knew that was bad. But she felt that way because Odessa is just not the same dog she was when she left for Great Falls last week. She was no longer licking her, eating, active. Odessa has this thing where if she is excited, she twirls in a circle, which is so cute. My sis said she's no longer doing that. And after this, I bet Kim Hedges, Andy DiStinky and Roger Melvin are all having a good laugh over Odessa's death. I remember when Andy lost Angus, I felt bad because Angus was gone. Karen demanded I feel bad for Andy. But I couldn't. For one thing, I hate that idiot. Another thing, I don't believe Andy loved Angus. Andy doesn't love his dogs at all. He tries to run over them with his car. He took them out to the dog park and left them there all day so they wouldn't be under his feet. He once locked Lou (a westie) in his apartment overnight, with no food, water and no way to go to the bathroom. He didn't care. It wasn't until he was yelled at by several residents in that building that he decided to get Karen to take care of his dogs when he wasn't around. But I feel confident in saying he would never have thought of that had he not been yelled at!

Well, I was worried about my sis last night and so I called her. She was staying with a friend of her's last night. When she told me that, I felt better. Because I did not think she should be alone last night. She needs time to adjust to life without Odessa. It took me a year to get used to the fact that Groucho is gone. Some people take less time to get over the loss of a pet. Maybe my sis will be better in a couple months. Who knows. I suffer from depression, she doesn't. I remember after I lost Groucho, the dirty dozen were telling me to get over it, especially Rhonda (the Watcher) was basically telling me I had no right to mourn Groucho for so long. Rhonda Booth is the biggest dumbass whacko on all the internet. And she's a coward. NEVER let anyone dictate how long you should grieve over your pet. Some people take months to heal, some people take a few weeks. I know of one person who said her mother lost her dachshund and grieved for over 20 years. That was back when I was in high school. But I kinda wonder if her mother is still grieving over the loss of her dog. But it goes to show, some people never recover over the loss of a pet. But my sis is strong. I know she will eventually want another pet. But the choice is for her to make. No one else. When she is ready for a pet, she will know it.

In another note, I also heard Fred Phelps passed away. He was the founder of the WBC. I don't even like calling the gathering he created a "church". I also heard that his own church estranged him before he died. And Steve Drain said "I don't know what that means" when a group of protesters held up a sign that said "We're sorry for your loss". LOL!! What a dumbass!! Well, I like to think Fred Phelps has seen his judgement day, and was told by GOD "You are not eligible to enter this gate" and turned him away. So now, Fred Phelps is now in Hell where all his bigoted kind belongs. I hope he burns, suffers and fries up to his eyeballs!!

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

New Roommie, Old Roommie

Well, it's been 2 months since I moved in with Donna. I still say she is a very sweet person, and kind and considerate. She is still a LOT better than Patti. Patti is a low-class, dog-pound-bound, hateful brat compared to Donna. Really, there just isn't enough words in the english language to describe how much better Donna is than Patti. There is simply no contest! There couldn't possibly be a worse roommate than Patti! Look at all the shit I endured during my 4 day stay with Patti. I was poisoned, bullied, teased, harassed, had my freedom taken away, Patti would have tried to control me if I had let her. And Patti's way of teasing was not even cute. It was like how a bully teases the shyest kid in the school. But Donna is so much better. Donna does none of that. I haven't yet been poisoned!! I don't know what Patti did, but she did something, because my third night there, I got sicker than I'd ever been in my life. And Patti was complaining because I had to use the bathroom a lot. I was so sick, the toilet got clogged that night, and I asked Patti for the plunger. Well, instead of telling me where the plunger was, Patti fussed, and kept repeating how she had lived in that house for 10 years and that toilet never had a problem.

I kept asking Patti where the plunger was, and she didn't tell me. She just told me to go back in the bathroom and look for it. So I had to look. I looked for it before I asked Patti where it was, and I did not see it in the bathroom, and I knew it couldn't have just walked in there while I was in the kitchen talking to Patti. Patti was especially bitchy that night, that was the night after we had gone shopping and I spent $40 on groceries for her because she had no money and I felt sorry for her. One would think she would have treated me nicely then. But no, she was mad probably because I did not buy this $15 bottle of booze she wanted so bad. It wasn't until I went out there a second time to ask Patti where the plunger was that she eventually told me. She still fussed because she heard me using the bathroom brush to clean the seat of the toilet. She thought I used the brush as a plunger. She kept on that subject for about 5 to 10 minutes. I just kept asking her "Where is the plunger?" Then she started accusing me of flushing things into the toilet that I wasn't supposed to (and knew better not to). I should have made her feel guilty by saying if I had used the brush as a plunger, it'd be all her own fault because she wouldn't tell me where the plunger was! I said to her "I'm gonna ask you one more time; Where is the plunger?" Patti turned her head to avoid looking me in the eyes and finally told me where the plunger was. I said "Thank you!" and went to get it and fixed the problem in the toilet.

Donna is nothing like that. I asked Donna for the plunger one night, and she just gave it to me. She didn't fuss, she didn't accuse me of flushing something I wasn't supposed to, she didn't even question why I needed it. She just handed it to me and asked me if I need any help. I told her no, I had it all under control, and she was fine with that. When I was done with it, I just gave it back to her and I haven't needed it since. But that alone proves how much better Donna is than Patti. I was thanking GOD for helping me find Donna, and getting me out of Patti's house! Actually it wasn't Patti's house. It was her brother's. But her brother is as loony as she is! He never even asked to hear my side of the story about why Patti had such a problem with me. So she could have told him anything and he'd believe it, even if it was not the truth, which I am sure most of it wasn't. But that's OK! As long as it got me out of there and away from Patti, I don't care what she told him.

Actually, if Patti wasn't living in that house with me, I would have loved it there! I could have done some cute things with that house. It had a separate area upstairs I could have stayed, and gave the downstairs to ma. The kitchen was huge! The living room was big, and had built-in shelves I could have put my knick-knacks on. There was plenty of room for a big fishtank in that living room! I could get some nice furniture and put in there. The only thing wrong with the house, was Patti. My first night there Patti kinda jokingly said to me that one of us should win the lottery and buy that house and let the other one rent a room in it. The thing is, if I had won the lottery, I would have bought that house and kicked Patti's butt out! I wouldn't have even given her 24 hours to get out. I would have told her she has 30 minutes to pack what she could, including her mangy cats and dog, and leave the property. And if I'd seen her after that 30 minutes, she would be shot through the head as a trespasser. That would have been doing the world a big favor! That is how much I loathed Patti after staying with her for 4 days. I couldn't wait to get out of there. Wild horses couldn't get me away from her fast enough! But I don't feel any of that with Donna.

Donna and I have a lot in common. We both love animals. We enjoy puzzles and card games. She likes doing yard work, and I used to. Until I developed a fear of spiders. I like gardening though and so does Donna. We both have had several different breeds of dogs, and we both hate show breeders! LOL! Donna said that show breeders are just a different kind of people. Not like the average. Now, I have met some very lovely show breeders, but they are very few and very far between. And I am not even talking about cat breeders. Shoot! They're worse than a lot of dog breeders I've met!! Dog show breeders are bad enough! After my experience with John Cippolina, Bischi, Rio Bellon, and some non-chihuahua show breeders, I don't like show breeders at all now. Made me not want to breed to show. And I said if I can't breed for show, I won't breed at all. So both my dogs are spayed/neutered now. I don't want to breed dogs now, besides that I don't have time to.

I hated how when John C. and I were having some problems, all his stupid, show-breeder friends were saying he was right and I was wrong. Looking back on it, I don't think either one of us was right. I mean, I didn't need to fill out that survey that made John so angry. But I did it for fun. I forgot show breeders don't like to have fun. But at the same time, John had no business getting so very angry at me like he did. I found that to be almost hysterical though. About a couple years before, a group of show breeders said that I got incessantly angry over little things. Well, I was in my 20s then. I have yet to meet any 20-something year old that doesn't get incessantly angry over little things. But John was in his 60s. He should have known better. But you can tell a lot about a person by how they act in anger. Especially someone as old as John C. His actions told me he is someone I would not like associating with at all. And if he does come near me, grab a baseball bat and don't stop swinging!! I get angry myself sometimes. I'd be lying if I said I didn't. But I am still younger than John C, and I've learned to control it very well. I admit it took me long enough to learn how to control it, but I learned. That is the important thing. I even kept my cool when John and all his dumb friends were attacking me like a group of sharks.

But show breeders are not like I am. They're like children who've never had a childhood. They take everything too seriously, they don't have fun for nothing, sometimes I wonder if most of the people who grew up to become show breeders have had some severe human-related traumas in their life. That's very possible. Like maybe John C. had a stepmother who molested him as a child, or maybe a father who did not spend any time with him at all and just rejected him. Or, it could have been the opposite case, maybe his mama suckled him for too long that it went to his head, or his daddy maybe let him sleep in the bed with him for too long. I don't know. Who knows what goes on in the mind of show breeders. Like Donna said, they are a different kind of people. I've only seen show breeders make friends with no one else but other show breeders. They don't make friends with simple pet owners like me. Maybe they might have a friend or two that fosters pets, but that's it. And I doubt any of them has any friends that don't own any animals at all. That is why I would make a lousy show breeder. I'm a fair person, I love to have fun, I don't reject a potential friend just because I don't agree with their lifestyle, and I don't hate anyone. Even someone I don't like, I still manage to keep my cool with them. I kept my cool with Patti, even after she said I was being kicked out. But then again, that was a happy announcement. Not maddening. What would have pissed me off is if I'd had to stay there with her any longer!

Sunday, March 16, 2014

Cutting Videos, Phase 2

OK, I cut out some of my videos. I didn't realize I had so many videos that were responses to trolls and haters! I looked on my video page, and I noticed I now have less than 130 videos. So, I must have cut out almost 20 videos!! I even had to get rid of the Ogre Rants videos, and the video response I made to Hobofart! UGH!! And those were some of my most favorite response videos. Not just that, but I liked reading other peoples' responses to those videos. Many of them were people who, themselves, had been victimized by the fart. He mostly seems to target juggalos. But apparently he doesn't take well to INXSaries either. He's still out there, still targeting me. Any time I see someone talking about my boobs, (or tits in his language), I always assume it's him. The latest was a couple weeks ago someone got on my Fat People Sucks video response and it sounded like him, so I said "Hello Hobofart. Took you long enough to find this place again!" Unfortunately I had to take that video down as well. That was the one video I put up that I said I was going to accept ALL comments on, good or bad. And I was loyal to my word. I was threatened, harassed, called every name in the book, and hounded on that video by bigots. But I stayed cool and still accepted every comment.

One of the biggest things I always got was that people assumed I eat a ton of food (even cannibalize other people) just because I am fat. I love how people who have never been fat before always assume every fat person eats every meal at McDonald's or something like that. Not every person who is fat eats even one meal at McDonald's. I never eat at McD's. I cannot afford to! I do all my eating at home. You know, Supersize Me was a good movie, and Katrina and I both saw it and thought it was funny. But sometimes I wish it had never been made. All it seemed to do is create more misconceptions about people who are fat. Like all fat people are such because they eat 3 times a day, every day, at McDonald's. Or that all fat people are only out to sue companies like McDonald's for "making them fat". And my all-time favorite: Fat people are raising the costs of medical care. HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! Too funny!

As far as I know, cannibals only inhabit some parts of the Amazon, the Dominican republic, and the islands of Java and New Guinea. I am not from either of those places, and have no desire to eat a person, even if I was. I don't make enough money to be able to eat every meal at McDonald's every single day. Besides I enjoy cooking. So I would rather take my meals at home. I am not one of those sue-happy nudniks who blame the very rare occasions I do go out to eat for me being fat, nor do I want to sue the restaurant I visit for me being fat. Going out to eat is my own choice and I am old and mature enough to realize that. I am also old and mature enough to know that it is not the fault of the restaurant that I am fat, and I don't need the help of some skinny bigot to tell me that. For that matter, I also recall someone calling 911 because Burger King made her burger the wrong way, and that person was not fat.

My favorite has always been that fat people are raising the cost of medical care. This line ALWAYS makes me laugh!! Now, thin people are using that as a scapegoat to hate on fat people. And I truly believe that's all it is is a scapegoat. I don't believe it is the only reason they hate fat people. But every bigot uses that now that it has been mentioned on Supersize Me. There have been bigots against fat people for as long as I can remember. LONG before the so-called 'medical cost crisis'. And there ain't a single person on the planet that can ever make me believe that kids/teenagers make fun of fat people just because they are concerned about the costs of medical insurance. Nor can anyone get me to believe that people hate fat people because they are concerned about our health. I actually have much more respect for the punk who says "Your looks disgust me" than I do for some idiotic jerk that says to me "I hate fat people because they are raising the cost of my medical insurance!" You know that is untrue! They know that is untrue! And any fat person with an ounce of brains knows that's not true! There are just as many other factors in the rising medical costs. How about smokers? Drinkers? Drug-addicts? Alcoholics? Then there is one that no one ever thinks about, how about simple technology? Yes, those lasers now being used for surgery cost more money. That gets passed on to the patient. That's all that I believe is the cause of this increase in medical insurance costs. Nothing but simple technology, inflation, and know-how. Yet, because it was mentioned on Supersize Me, all the bigots believe it to be true. Any kind of bigot is ignorant, that's what makes them bigots.

I hate bigots of all kinds, no matter what they are bigoted against. But I think they are there because humans are just imperfect. Humans have to hate something, and right now, being bigoted against fat people is the last acceptable prejudice. But it's still bigoted. But hey, if I can hate panthers, then I guess it's acceptable for other people to hate fat people. And let me tell you, the way people talk about me because I am fat is really no different than the way I talk about panthers of all kinds. So, not a total loss. lol! Society seems bound and determined to force panthers on me. Like this commercial for Cadbury Creme eggs. It's set up like some kind of competition. The commercial is OLD!!! I remember when it first ran on TV Land back in 2000, there used to be lots of animals. I remember there was a pig and a hound dog, and a llama. Now, they have cut and edited it, and like everything else cut and edited, the commercial SUCKS!!!!!!! Now, all they show on that commercial is this stupid lion and a dumb cat. Almost as if the person who edited the commercial wants to put it in everyone's face that lions and cats are related. But the llama is still in the commercial and still cute!

The problem I have with movies, TV shows, and commercials glorifying panthers, especially putting them in the same light as house cats, is people are now beginning to believe that things like lions and tigers are nothing but big house cats, and that is not true, and can lead to bad trouble. I remember on my ED page, which someone else wrote, they said that some kind of conversation was had with me (which I do not remember, but they somehow remember it so....) saying that a panther would make a better pet than a dog. They called it "a lulzy conversation". I said "No, that was not a 'lulzy conversation'. That's something that you truly believe." Judging by the actions of other panther fanatics, I really think they truly believe the bullshit they are spewing about panthers making better pets than dogs. I'd challenge them to keep a dog in their home for a year, and a panther for the next year. See exactly which one they can cuddle with each night, which one they can feed without having their arm bitten off, and which one they can put on their living room floor with a rambunctious child. And when I say panther, I am not talking about any house cat. I'm talking about the big, ugly, obnoxious, flabby-bellied, cat-like animals I call panthers. What do you think will happen after that year with a panther? The fanatics would probably be eaten before the year is up if they try to keep a panther like you could a dog. But I'll tell you, like Nick Crews said, nothing would be funnier than seeing a panther fanatic get killed and eaten by some kind of panther. See if they still stand by panthers after that. LOL!

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Video Removal

I usually hate doing this, but I am thinking of removing some of my videos from YouTube. The reason is because I have been spending the last 2 years trying very hard to learn to ignore negative people, and the videos I have in mind to remove are video responses I made to negative people. I accept all comments now, but I only respond to people who are not negative, and I only block people now who are so hateful that I feel they belong in prison rather than on YouTube. Those are not just negative commenters or people I just disagree with, they are the true haters and bigots. I still won't respond to them, I've even gotten to a point now where I don't even talk about those kind of people here in my blog, because I do not want them to have any more publicity than they deserve.

One video where I get the most haters, I never even stopped accepting negative comments on, because it was one video that, before I had it put up on YouTube, I promised myself that I was never going to reject any comment made on that video, no matter how hateful or nasty it sounded. But I still block haters and bigots. And yes, I've even gotten threats. I just block them and take their threats with a grain of salt. I can afford to now. Besides, what are they really going to do to me? LOL! They don't know where I am. I have mentioned here I am in Reno, but no one really knows where. And they never will, not as long as I am here. Reno is a big town, lots of outlining towns too. The only people who know where I am are family members and they are the only ones who need to know right now.

But yes, as part of this new regime I have of ignoring trolls and haters, I am taking down these videos. They will no longer be available after tonight.

I am going tonight to a cake decorating class, something I've always wanted to do again. Actually this will be the second time I've taken cake decorating. The first time was when I was 12 years old, and 150 pounds lighter. LOL! I remember back then, I made a nearly perfect likeness of Charlie Chaplin on a cake, and I took it home to show my father. But when we got home, and opened the door to our Volkswagon bus and I was getting out, wouldn't you know it, the cake fell and splatted face-down on the ground! UGH! I was so mad!! I never did get to show it to my father! Well, I am hoping to learn more here. Maybe I will advance to creating flowers and stuff. That would be awesome!