Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Thursday, February 21, 2013


Geez, I must be going out of my mind! People! Last night, I joined a group that shows wildlife portraits, there was a picture of a leopard, the animal that I hate more than any other in the world. I said that thing is an ugly bitch, and it is! I can't stand looking at leopards, and if I see one, I'm gonna say it! I can't stand them. Boy! I sure am feisty about it though! LOL! Well, today I got a message on the Causes page from some idiot named Christina Barton. A total ass, trying to make me feel guilty about hating leopards by calling them God's creatures. Well, MY GOD is trying to eliminate those evil beasts. I don't know who her god is. Well, she went on to say shit that I was looking in the mirror and I was the ugly bitch, and blah-blah-blah, she's never even seen my pic and she can already tell what I look like. LOL! And she said "How dare you call one of God's creatures an ugly bitch!"

Well, you all know me if you'd been reading this blog. I looked at her profile pic. The first thing I noticed was she is not an attractive person herself. She hides her homely face behind mounds of make-up. Even with that, she's still an ugly fucker! She looks like Stan Laurel with long, black hair. A real donkey-face. Oh wait a minute. That would be an insult to donkeys. And to Stan Laurel for that matter! LOL! Well anyway, then I kinda thought about it before I said anything. I kicked it around for a while because I said that I was not going to respond to trolls. And little miss Barton is indeed a troll. But then on the other hand I said to myself "Ya know, that was exactly the same attitude I took with Patti, and I've regretted it since then that I did not stand up to her like I should have." So, I finally decided to have a little fun with little miss Barton. I decided to troll her right back! I called her an ugly bitch. I told her "Yep, you're an ugly bitch! Just like me!" I told her the only thing is I'll be the first to admit I am ugly. And I am. I can have fun with it too. Anyway, I said to her "And how dare you tell me what I can and cannot post! And also how dare you follow me here with the intent to troll! Ugly bitch!"

Well, I gave her one of these :p I really have no hard feelings, I just don't like being told what I can post and what I cannot post by a total stranger. But then I said something really far out! I told her that her kid (also in her profile pic) is ugly and fugly too. LOL!! I was like OMG! You know I never really like to attack a person's children! That's not right. But you know what? I'm not apologizing for it either. She started it with her trolling. But it also got me thinking how screwed up that is. Geez!! I never do shit like that! I must be going out of my mind here. My throat hurts, my eyes hurt, my nose hurts, my chest hurts. My asthma has been bothering me a lot lately. You know what, I think it's because of the formaldehyde fumes in this place! I was warned about them. But they are making my asthma act up, and I think it's making me go crazy. I mean crazier than usual. LOL!

I first noticed something was very wrong when I tried to take a nap, and a pain in my chest shot me awake. I've been having shortness of breath lately, and today, this pain just woke me up. I thought I was having a heart attack. But no, a heart attack does not give you pain. And my breathing was not that shallow. I've been reading about people living in campers having exposure to formaldehyde, and it's worse for people who have asthma. Well, I have asthma! It's scary! Well, as for Ms. Christina Barton, I blocked her butt. So I cannot receive any more notices from her anymore. It's better than attacking her children again! Or going against my word to completely ignore trolls.

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

The Bible Hates Dogs, Why Shouldn't We?

Well, I found that group. I won't give reference to it here, because I do not want them to receive any more publicity. But today one of the members asked me this question. If the Bible hates dogs, why shouldn't we? Well, I truly do not believe the Bible hates dogs. Like I said in my post yesterday, if dogs and humans were not meant to be together, why do dogs love us unconditionally? Yet cats seem to hate us. One popular thing known about the Bible is that dogs (ie. wolves) are depicted as being evil, while lions are given a great deal of glory in the Bible. Yet lions only see humans as food. More people in the past have been killed by lions, leopards and tigers than anyone has been killed by wild dogs. Not saying people have never been killed by dogs, I'm just saying more people have been killed by large felines than dogs. So, why don't we hate them more than dogs? I think it really does boil down to Biblical roots.

You know who translated the Bible? Spanish monks in the 7th century. Their language back then was a lot more different than it is now. I was doing a little bit of research on the subject. Lions have literally many words in Old Hebrew that refers to them. One of the words that interested me the most was lavi (= Akkadian lābu), and the Spanish word for wolf is lobo. Look at the Akkadian word for lion, it so resembles the Spanish word for wolf that I kinda wonder if there may have been a mistake in translation there. I do know a lot of things that are in the Bible are a mystery. I even question some things. Not that GOD said them, I think they were very loosely translated by the monks. I cannot believe eating pork will send you straight to Hell when it is proven pork is healthier than beef. I cannot believe raping children will get you to Heaven faster when we know today that this is wrong. I cannot believe being gay will send a nation into disaster. Gays have been around forever, and even exist in nature. I even once saw a film about 2 gay lions living together. Why would GOD create something just to destroy it? HE is the all-perfect being, HE knows all and sees all. HE makes no mistakes. HE always is supposed to do what is best for us. Why would HE create gays and then destroy nations because of them?

I know the Bible was first written (before being translated) in actually several different languages. I think the Spanish monks who were the first to translate the Bible, made several mistakes because of this. Akkadian was less used before the birth of Christ, but it did exist in the biblical days. Today it is extinct. It was extinct by the 7th century, so it is my guess that this language was used quite a bit in the old Bible scrolls, and the Spanish monks that translated the Bible did not recognize the language. So 'lion' became 'wolf'. It could be all those bad references to wolves in the Bible were probably meant to refer to lions instead. A lot of things give clues to this being possible. Wolves will run from people, very rarely will they attack a person unless there is a famine with their normal prey. Lions will attack people, whether or not they have enough game to hunt because lions are opportunistic feeders, and they do tend to see people as food. There are several stories in the Bible of wolves attacking and killing people, which we know today is absolute nonsense because it rarely happens today. In Biblical days, the people would have encountered the Iranian wolf, which is smaller, faster, but less powerful than the European gray wolf. It is unlikely this animal would even attempt to bring down an adult human. Even dingoes won't attack an adult human and they're smaller, but stronger, than wolves. Though there have been a couple of cases of dingoes bringing down children. Usually though dingoes are very shy.

I just cannot believe that an animal that loves us more than it loves it's self is meant to be associated with evil in any way. I cannot believe an animal that gives so much joy to it's owner is somehow of the devil. To say dogs kill people is the same as saying guns kill people. Or knives kill people. Neither one kills people by themselves. Only people kill people. If a dog harms a person, chances are good it is because the dog's owner trained it to be mean. Or the owner did not properly socialize the dog.

Now, on the humorous side of my finding last night. There was this girl named Melissa Estroli there. She gave perfect clues to the kind of people who were there; angry, disturbed, unclassy, no doubt there is a world of hurt in her background. My guess is her parents either abused or molested her, or neglected her. Well the funny thing was she tried all evening long to convince me that she is an INXS fan. I called bullshit on her. She's not no INXS fan! She took a picture of herself in an INXS t-shirt, which I refused to look closer at because it led to a virus. No doubt the picture was photoshopped. She tried again to convince me that she is a fan by talking about the b-sides of Kick. Again, that is information ANYONE can get. I still called bullshit. Maybe she has a friend who is an INXS fan, but I wholeheartedly doubt she herself is a fan of INXS. If she was a fan, she would not have made fun of Michael hanging himself like she did. Normal fans just don't do that. But then again, maybe she's not a 'normal' fan. Maybe she's one of the delusional mod type fans. Only one of them would have the level of anger and hatred that she had. Which if she was a member of that forum, would not surprise me. I don't think anyone in that forum was over 25 years old back then, judging solely by their attitude. I saw one of Melissa's earlier Facebook profiles, she had pimples and shit all over her face. It must have been created some years ago. She looks 12 in the profile picture. No doubt she is young enough to have been in that group.

Melissa's parents should not have neglected her, she really needs a good spanking! If she were my child, she would have got one for being so disrespectful to adults, even on the internet. This is why my sis Eva will not let her kids on the internet without her supervision. She wants to know every word they are typing and everything. If they type something that even sounds disrespectful and hateful, she will make them delete it and revoke their internet privileges for a week. If it's as bad as what Melissa said yesterday to not only me, but a couple of my friends too, she will spank them. That is what Melissa needs. Unfortunately for her parents (and society at that) you are not allowed to use corporal punishment on children. Eva uses it anyway. She would say if Melissa was her child, she'd bare her behind and take her outside and spank her ass until she was raw and let everyone in the neighborhood watch her. Eva doesn't even like dogs either. Her family still has the old english mastiff, but she doesn't like big dogs like that. She complains about that dog almost every time I ask her how he's doing. She calls him the slobber monster. If she had her way, she would have had a pomeranian by now. LOL! But Eva is one of those that likes cats better than dogs.

Personally, I don't care what animal a person likes. I do question sometimes why a person would prefer a cat over a dog. Because I just don't see how someone can prefer an animal that only likes the person who feeds it when it is hungry, as opposed to an animal that will give it's life for it's owner. I don't understand that at all. I would never deliberately harm someone else's pet cat, though strays are fair game. But if I see a cat in someone's yard, I'm not going to take it and put a gun to it's head and kill it. I don't want to do that. Sometimes I tend to tease the cat people, but I would never really do anything like that. Melissa said she would never tie a dog to her car and run the motor, which I think is good. At least she says she does not promote violence against the animals.

This morning one of my Facebook buddies asked me why I got so pissed off about cats because I posted a pic that said if you like dogs, share. And like if you like cats. Well, then I could not just "like" because that would mean I was a cat-lover and I am not. That would be lying. I shared it and said I am a dog-lover all the way. But in reference to what this friend said, I have been angry with dog-haters since Groucho died. I've never been able to forgive people who hate dogs since then. This Facebook buddy who asked me this, ironically, was the same one that said she would run over a dog with her car to save a cat. I was angry when she said that. Though not terribly angry, because I have done the same to a cat to save a bird or a squirrel. So has Katrina. But she does it more for amusement than to save another animal from a cat. She just hates cats. She doesn't care if they are strays or they belong to someone, they're all the same in her eyes. They ruin her car's paint and shit in her driveway, and they chase birds and squirrels, which she loves, from her yard. Unfortunately those are things you cannot blame on the cat's owner. Cats do that stuff on their own. So that is why Katrina hates cats more than anything else. But she is my best friend. I've known her since she was a little girl, and yes she did like cats back then, and her family even had a cat. She hates them now though. When a stray cat took a big shit on her car's roof that was when she said "enough's enough!" That was when she started shooting them with a pistol and rocksalt.

****************EDIT TO ADD********************
Ya know I got to thinking about this post last night and this morning. GOD is supposed to be the all-loving, all-perfect being. If dogs are depicted in the Bible (meaning there was no mistake in translation) as being bad, evil animals, and they love us. And lions being glorified in the Bible, and they hate us. This kinda makes me wonder, is the Westboro Baptist Church maybe RIGHT??? That GOD really does hate us?? I read the Bible, and I've always been taught that GOD loves us. He loves us so much that he gave us Jesus, to die for our sins. But if dogs are bad according to the Bible, and dogs love us, and lions are good according to the Bible, and lions hate us, I wonder if this is how GOD also sees us, and that would mean the WBC is correct.

Monday, February 18, 2013

I Hate Dogs

No, I haven't "switched over"! That will never happen. I'll always be a dog lover. But there is a Facebook page devoted to hating dogs. You know a page like this would never have existed 20 years ago. It's a shame such a page exists now. This is unfortunately what society today has become. How can anyone hate a little dog?? That is totally beyond my realm of knowledge. Bigger dogs, that do more damage, I can see people hating sometimes. They tear up homes, and are butt-sniffers, and are known for hurting people sometimes. But they do have some compensating qualities. They guard our homes, they are the best bodyguards too. They aid the blind, and they herd cattle and sheep, and we all know if it wasn't for cattle and sheep, we would not be able to eat or have clothing on our backs. Dogs help our military soldiers, they are wonderful companions for children. Dogs are even known to bring good fortune to people of royalty. Thats why most of them own dogs. Those that didn't got assassinated. Bigger dogs may be more destructive than little dogs, but they do have compensating qualities. We can actually learn a lot from dogs. Dogs can teach us how to love one another unconditionally, how to be faithful to each other, and how to be more social. It worked for a friend of mine. She was totally anti-social until she got a dog.

Well, this Facebook page, I haven't seen it at all, but it seems to promote abuse towards dogs, and that is wrong. I'd be willing to bet the owners of that page are a bunch of feline fanatics, definitely Hellbound. I wonder how they would feel if someone were to create a page promoting violence against cats. No, I am not going to do it. I just wonder how those people would feel if such a page existed. But it is sad that this is what has become of the world, hating dogs and favoring cats. What can cats teach us? How to be anti-social, how to demand what you want until you get it, how to kill and torture people, how to do nothing but lay around the house all day long and do nothing, how to manipulate other people into thinking you are the best thing that ever happened to them, when you really are not. These are things that suprisingly, a lot of cat-people claim they love about cats. But how can you "love" this? Do you also love those qualities in people?? If not, and you love them in cats, isn't that a little bit contradictory? Shouldn't your own species take precidence over a different one? Personally I don't like any of those qualities in people, which is one reason why I hate cats. Besides the fact that cats are far more destructive than dogs of similar size.

I was looking at some places today, and I saw a very nice mobile home! I think it can even fit in this park! It was gorgeous, it looked to be the same length as this trailer, only it was much wider, I would say about 12-14 feet wide. It has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, and 2 of the bedrooms and one of the bathrooms is on one side of the house, and the master bed and bath are on the opposite side of the house. It wasn't much to look at on the outside, but the inside was very roomy! I was thinking of getting that and then I can get myself a couple of roommates to live there with me. I was saying I might allow them to have a small dog, but no big dogs and definitely NO CATS!!! If they do have cats, the cats would have to stay outside 24/7, I won't allow them in the house. For the simple reason that cats are much more destructive than a small dog. I was reading some comments on a Facebook page that I am a member of, and one person talked about a neighbor of his who had a cat, the cat caused his house to burn to the ground and ever since then he's hated cats. Well, I don't blame him! I would hate cats for that reason too! I don't want that to be my house's fate, or anything similar. My own neighbor has a cat that caused a flood in his house. I just don't want that to happen in my home. So if I go through with this idea, I would allow the renters to only have a small dog, but no cats.

Dogs are gifts from GOD. I truly believe that. They would not love us if GOD did not intend them to be with us. Cats are the curses of the Egyptians. It is because of feline worship that the ancient Egyptian civilizations are now gone. Our own civilizations will follow them if we continue to worship felines like they did. I can already see the downfall of American civilization happening right now, with little doubt it is due to feline worship. So pages like this one need to be taken off the internet. Go here and sign the petition: http://www.causes.com/actions/1661963-remove-the-i-hate-dogs-page-from-facebook Have this dumbass page removed before we are all bound for a hellish nightmare in this country.


Ever have a song that is so good, the tune gets stuck in your head? Did you know those are called "earworms"? I didn't until I read this article. I have had that happen to me several times, which really is one of the reasons I only play music very sparingly. I don't need to because for days after, sometimes even weeks after, I have some of the songs I've played still stuck in my head. Sometimes those songs remanifest themselves in dreams I have. For example, one time I had a dream and for some reason, Michael Jackson's Bad kept playing over and over again in the dream. I do have that song on my iPod, though it is not one of my all-time favorite songs, it's a catchy song. I love all the songs I keep on my iPod, I would not have them on there if I didn't love them. I just find it strange that I would have a dream about that. I don't think a person can control what song will replay over and over in their head, or how long the earworm will last. On me though, they've been known to last for weeks. I could play music one night and 6 weeks later, one of the songs I played is still going on in my mind. Sometimes it's a whole song, and sometimes it's only a small fragment of a song.

According to this article, earworms last longer in women than they do in men. And to them is often more annoying. It's true. Sometimes they have been known to bring to the person some emotional breakdowns. They sometimes do that with me, but not very often. Sometimes they make me laugh, and laugh hard! Sometimes they make me feel a little down. Depending on the song, really. I remember when I was in my late teen years, there was this cartoon that I loved, I called it Beggin' Benny. I would habitually think of that cartoon, especially in the end when he meets up with a bunch of bad guys. I would think of that and I would burst out laughing. To me, it was so funny! And that carried on for weeks. Sometimes my friends at the voc school would wonder why I was laughing so hard. All I could say to them was I was thinking of something really funny. I couldn't really tell them I was thinking of a portion of a cartoon that I thought was so funny. I couldn't really explain that to them. I will say this though, that laughter made me a lot of buddies at that school! Well, that and the fact that I was cute back then, and still friendly to everyone I met. That could be classified as an earworm, because it did involve sounds that kept going on in my head, even though it was a TV show, and not really music. I just never knew this had a name before. I always simply called it "A song stuck in my head". LOL!

You know I never had fun going to school, but I loved going to the voc school. I had numerous friends there. But like I said, I think a lot of it had to do with me being much cuter back then. Surely much cuter than I am now. No, a DAMNSITE cuter than I am now!! I'm fucking ugly now. My friends and family tell me I am not ugly, but I look in the mirror these days, and I see the bride of Godzilla. That's not me being negative, that's me being honest. I know I am ugly, but hey! That's me. Like I always say, we can't all be supermodels. At least I know I am ugly, and I still laugh about it and I am always cracking jokes about it too. It would be much worse if I knew I was ugly, and felt depressed about it. But really, I don't feel depressed because I don't have to look good for anybody but GOD. I think GOD made me the way I am to put some humor into the world. Not just with me, but other people look and make jokes as well. That used to be hurtful to me, but I have learned remarkably how to laugh at myself over the years. I am still waiting for that one creative comment that someone can come up with about me that is unique, and has never been used before. So far, no one has ever thought of that comment. But I still continue to wait.

Well, one person came up with a cute comment, but I found out he stole it from the movie Borat. It's such a shame, it was funny! He said my chin hangs down like the sleeves on a wizard. I saw that comment, and I laughed. If he had come up with that comment by himself, I would have had to give kudos for the most creative comment ever. Unfortunately there are certain words I look for in YouTube comments, and if I see them, I generally don't completely read the comment and simply reject it. I made up my mind months ago that I was no longer going to accept anymore troll comments on YouTube. But anyone can post a comment on this blog. You just cannot be anonymous anymore. But if you want to blame someone for that, blame the fanatical vegans. That's why I hate teenagers! They're always so hateful and negative. I find that most of the nazi-vegan fanatics are teenagers. And mindless at that. So far the *most* creative name they can come up with to call me is "fatty". LOL! I laugh because it is so simplistic, even for a teenager. It's more like a first-grade-level derogate. It makes that person look more desperate than average. That's what leads me to believe those people are teenagers. Their minds haven't developed enough to come up with a better insult so they use the typical "fatty" moniker. That's another reason I never want to go vegan. Seems their minds have deteriorated under the pressure of not having meat or salt in their diet. Most of the fanatics are not at all creative.

The only time vegans use anything new is when they want to make the public feel guilty about eating meat or drinking milk. I don't feel guilty about either, because animals in the wild do it all the time. It doesn't bother them, why should it bother me? They call getting milk "rape". UGH!! No, that is not rape. We're talking about animals here! Not people! I don't think any person who milks cows gets aroused by it. So I don't believe it qualifies as rape. I do think when a big dog pokes it's nose in a spot it shouldn't be at, it is rape. When Vegas sits on my face and pokes his penis at me, that could be considered rape. I hate it when he does that!!! That's what I wake up to just about every morning. He got it from his mom, Odessa. Anna told me 'Dessa does that to her too.

Sunday, February 17, 2013

What My Blogs Are About

This is normally something I would put in an "All About Us" page. But I thought it was also a good idea to post this here. I have always been accused of being negative or judgmental because of my blogs. Well, I want to clear the air on what my blogs are all about and why I keep them. Really, when you look at the whole picture of me, my blogs make up only about less than 1% of my life. I keep blogs because they are my place to rant. If I have a problem, or if I am feeling uneasy, the best way I can get rid of those feelings is to write about them. Some people talk it out, but I am not good at talking to people. So I write about them in my blog. And let's face it, people LOVE to hear about other peoples' problems. No matter what they say. I would not have so many viewers if that wasn't true.

I remember a long time ago, in the old INXS Fan Forum, a girl named Penny accused me of judging her on my blog. She said I cannot judge her because I do not know her. And yes, about that she was right. I only had her posts to go by to tell me what kind of person she possibly is. She had been reading my blogs back then (when I used to have a blog on MSN) and she absolutely hated me because of what I wrote on there LOL! Which is cool with me. What was ironic though was she said I cannot judge her by what she wrote on the forum, but then she turned around in the same sentence, and judged me for what I wrote on my blog. That was interesting coming from her mouth! And to tell you the truth, what I saw of her on that forum was FAR worse than what I ever wrote on my blog. She used to snap at people for no reason at all. She seemed to always be in a bad mood and was always cranky. The only people she was not cranky with were the popular people. Any newbies, or lower-ranking forum members, she would always treat like shit no matter how nice they were. That was why I didn't like her, and I still don't. I haven't seen her in years, but I doubt she's changed any. She's probably still the same cantankerous old fart she was back then. I did send her a sympathy message when her guinea pig died. But as with Andy, I didn't care about Penny. I cared about the guinea pig. That was all. I just know how it feels to lose a pet.

I don't even go into forums at all anymore. I have my YouTube channel and I also have my Facebook page. I don't need forums. In my experience, forum owners tend to go crazy with the powers of administration. So, I stay away from forums. I tried going back into INXS forums back around 2005 to 2006, but I found INXS fans were not as friendly as they used to be. And it's all DonnaG's fault! Or the fault of that damn Rockstar forum. I always said that is the most useless forum out there. The members cannot even start a topic! I never heard of a forum like that! Only one of the moderators can begin a topic. I am all for free speech, I don't want to have my speech controlled by some messed-up mods! I tried going into that forum once before, but it did not last very long. I got bored with it almost immediately. After I found out I was not able to post a topic, I said that's enough! Screw that place. But at least I gave it a try. I did not completely form an opinion until after I tried it. Now I have one and it stays firm.

I remember I used to write in my blogs a lot more back when I had an MSN blog than I do now. I just don't have that much to say anymore. My posts now are spread out further, and get less and less each year. I noticed that. I used to write in my blogs several times a day. Now, I am having a good day if I just write in this blog once a day. Or a bad day, depending on how you look at it. But I only write in these blogs if something big happens, or I have a big thought that I want to share, whether it be a good thought or a bad one. Another thing I typically get accused a lot of is contradicting myself. Well, there is a reason for that also. I am the type of person that looks at both sides of everything. All things have a good side and a bad side. I look at both. I am not like most people, who just see one side of everything. Thus I guess I can seem to be contradicting myself. But that's how I am, take it or leave it. And I am just as happy if you leave it!

I must also say, I've had a few forums put up myself. I had a Metazoic forum once, and I decided to end that when it was taken over more by spammers than by members. I also had an INXS forum for a little while. But because I had to seriously protect it from some of the evil fans (like the delusional mods), it was closed to all but those I invited, and you could not copy and paste from that forum. So it got closed down and replaced instead with my Timmy-Love Space on MySpace. I don't have a MySpace anymore. I rarely went in there after creating my Facebook account, so I got rid of my account on MySpace. I don't go into forums anymore, hardly ever. I do occasionally look into the Craigslist pet forums. But I haven't posted since I moved to Bozeman. Well, I cannot say I haven't posted. I posted maybe once or twice there, but I stopped completely. I only glance in on occasion. If I want to share something, I share it here. I have enough viewers here. I haven't been a regular in that forum since I lived in Ocean Shores.

I also had a lot to say when I lived in Bozeman. I never wanted to move there in the first place. You know, I heard my sister's neighbor, Roger, has gone stark-raving crazy. As if he wasn't already before I left there. But Anna said he's gotten worse. LOL!! I wonder if he saw what I wrote about him in this blog after I left there and it's making him crazier because he cannot respond back. Or he can, he just chooses not to, and I blocked him on YouTube because he's a troll. I cannot allow anonymous posts on this blog anymore, and you can thank the fanatical vegans for that. That is always the case, a few people who abuse privileges ruin it for everyone else. Speaking of which, I notice those same fanatical vegans have been trying to get my attention, both on YouTube and on Facebook. Well, I usually ignore people who are not friends of mine on Facebook. I usually do not read their posts, unless I am in a reading mood, but that is not very common really. And I pay zero attention to trolls on YouTube these days. And yes, I consider fanatical vegans to be trolls.

As for Roger, I hope he gets so angry and frustrated that he has a heart attack. Or kills himself. I told my sister to just basically ignore him, not to let him get her all worked up. I don't want her to be the one to get stressed out. Because if anything happens to her, both my ma and I will be over there to tear that SOB apart! He is so ridiculous! I think it's hilarious that he thought I was ever in love with him! LOL! At least that gave me a good chuckle!

Well, those are things I talk about in my latest book, Adventures in Moving, which is available now! Check it out!

Support independent publishing: Buy this book on Lulu.

Friday, February 15, 2013

Crazy Clawed Dreams

LOL! That's funny! But I've been having some weird dreams lately, and I don't know what they have been about. Throughout my life, I've been having some really strange dreams. But lately, my dreams have been stranger than usual. Lately I've been having dreams where I turn into animals. LOL! Particularly to attack or kill someone. A few nights ago I had a dream that Anna invited me to her place in Bozeman for a popcorn night, so I went. I knew there was still some turbulence there between those people and myself, but I didn't care, I went anyway. That alone is strange, considering I don't want to go back to Bozeman! And nothing can make me go back ever again! Anyway, when I walked into the building in my dream, I saw that idiot Andy standing by the elevator, so I decided to take the stairs instead. I didn't say a word to him at all in the dream, I just went through the door where the stairs are. Suddenly I noticed Andy had come into the stairwell after me. I just kept going up like nothing was wrong.

Finally I got to the top of the stairwell and I went through the door into the third floor lobby, and made my way to Anna's apartment. Andy was right behind me. No words were spoken in this dream at all, but he did come up behind me and put his hand on my back. When he did that, I turned around and I had turned into this huge, black, panther-like creature with eyes glowing red and I gave him a bone-chilling hiss, and I had the claws out ready to slash him with. But he backed away. So I let him go and continued on to Anna's place. LOL! It wasn't a real panther, but a panther-like animal. Kinda like Catwoman in the movie, only much more evil-looking. Maybe more like a cross between a panther and a bear, with the eyes of a fire-breathing dragon. It was definitely a weird dream! LORD knows I hate panthers! I would never turn to them for salvation.

Last night I had a dream too, I dreamed my sis and I were at a park with our dogs, and we were walking toward a convenience store there in the park. Anna was holding Odessa in her arms, and Vegas and Minnie were running around in a grass field nearby. Well, Anna decided she was going to stay by the enterance to the convenience store. Also standing there were a couple of nazi vegans who were in a protesting mood. One of them looked so familiar, I'd seen him on YouTube before. I think he calls himself mockmcmuffin, or something like that. I'd never watched any of his videos, but I saw his image on the screen his videos are frozen on his channel on. And this guy who was most prevailant in the dream looked just like him. Anyway, he looked at my sister standing there, and he started making cracks about the way she looks. He said to people going by "Hey, you wanna look like this girl, or you wanna look like me?" and blah-blah-blah.

It was then in the dream I turned to Anna and I said "Don't pay any attention to him, but if you'd like to go to another park we will." Anna said "No, that's OK." Anna looked at this mockmcmuffin character and told him to bugger off, and he continued to crack jokes about her. Meanwhile I went into the store. That mockmcmuffin guy followed me in the store and was watching me with great interest. I got an item that I wanted and I went up to the cashier to pay for it, and he started cracking jokes about me as well. I just ignored him in the dream. Until he opened the door to go outside and I heard what sounded like a loud thud. The main thing that went through my mind was he's hurt Odessa. So I ran out there and I was pissed off!! I saw Anna there, still holding Odessa and that mockmcmuffin guy standing near her. The other vegan guy had disappeared at this time. I asked Anna what happened. I asked "Did he hurt Odessa?!" Anna said no he didn't, but in my mind he did. So I started chasing him, and I chased him for a good ways away, I was scratching him and biting him and I angrily said "Don't you EVER hurt my sister OR her dog you BASTARD! You DUMBASS! You ASSHOLE!!" Then I slashed him on the face and said "I'll scratch your eyes out next time!" I tore off his pants and he ran away! LOL! I didn't turn into an animal that time physically, just in spirit.

The vegan nazis think I cannot move without a motorized chair. But I don't even have one of those things, and I move around very well. I can even move fast if I really want to, and have before too, several times. I can do that by not concentrating on my weight and only thinking about what I have to do. It's called mind-over-matter. I remember one time MsPearlsGirl said to Katrina (who is not fat at all) that she can walk faster than Katrina can run. I think she more meant it to refer to me. Well, that makes me think, a person can think they can outrun a fat, 1-ton grizzly bear, until the bear is barreling down on them. I am like that bear. I can look slow, lumbering and clumsy, even tranquil. Until I do what I know I have to do in defense of my family. Then you will see a side of me you'd never guess was there. When I woke up from that dream, my heart was pounding! Kinda scared me!

I don't like confrontations at all, and try to always avoid them. But I have hurt people in the past. I just don't like to, so I don't make that a first resort. My first reaction when I am being harassed is usually just to freeze, and give evil looks. LOL! If that doesn't work, I may tell the person to go away. If that doesn't work, I just walk away. If that doesn't work, and the attacker puts his hands on me, that's when I get violent. Even then, I prefer to just give the person a warning first. Its when that person does not heed that warning that I might be inclined to get physical. For me, getting physical is a very last resort. What I turn to only if the person does not get the message by the 4th or 5th time. LOL! But usually I prefer to keep my hands to myself. If the person stinks as bad as Andy did, I don't even want to touch them!! I don't want whatever is on their body making them smell so bad to get on me! Hell NO!!

Anyway, dreams like this are not entirely new to me. Usually when I dream them it means I may never see that person again. I had a similar dream to the first one back in 1994, after my 4-year friendship with a woman I went to the vocational school with broke off. Her name was Jennifer Krolovic. I still have a comic strip she and I collaborated on together. We got really close. But for some reason in 1993, she decided to end the friendship. A few months later I had that dream, only this time, she followed me into the school building. She wasn't chasing me, but she was following me and anxious to get my attention. When she got up to me, and put her hands on me I turned and hissed at her, and was about to attack her. Then she backed away. LOL! I never saw her again, and never even dreamed of her again. To this day, I have no clue what made her want to end the friendship between us so abruptly. I think it may have been the new, trashy women she was now hanging around when she returned to the voc school that year. It's very possible. I've seen what people turn into when they get in with the "popular crowd". It's never pretty!

Monday, February 4, 2013

Karen Carpenter's Death

Today is the 30th anniversary of Karen Carpenter's death. I noticed the article on the sideline. Now, it's not that I care anything about Karen Carpenter at all. I never liked the Carpenters! But it's the way she died that interests me. She had a heart attack due to anorexia. I found this very interesting. People did not know much about anorexia and it's dangers until she died and it's funny. People now know more about anorexia than they do about obesity. Very little is really known about obesity, and people tend to want to blame the obese person for being obese. The fact of the matter is both anorexia and obesity are the same thing, just different sides of the same spectrum.

Now, again don't misunderstand me, there are fat people that are fat because they did it to themselves. But anorexic people are just as much to blame for being anorexic. They choose to be anorexic, every bit as much as an obese person chooses to be obese. Anyone who argues otherwise is a fool of society. I think a lot of fat people though blame a thyroid problem for being fat because it's a way of shifting the blame, thus a chance for them to be accepted. Me personally, I never blame a thyroid problem because I would be lying if I did. My thyroid has been tested and it's fine. I am fat because I have an addiction to chocolate. I readily admit it. I endulge in it too much. But chocolate is a real addiction. Just like an anorexic person has an addiction to being thin. Many of them starve themselves to the point of death in order to avoid being fat. Me, I would rather be fat than dead.

The reason I bring this up is because people tend to feel more empathy for anorexic people than they do for obese people. Obese people can be mean and nasty tempered, but I think it's more because they expect society to have a bad attitude towards them. Like why black people and native Americans can be mean and temperamental too. They went through years of oppression and have come to expect trouble from other people. The same with obese people. I was always very nice until I began having problems with people after I gained weight. It brings you to a point where you just don't want to talk to people or sometimes even see them. I've been lucky though, I managed to develop a tough skin, and fat names don't bother me anymore. But I can see where it would make another fat person want to build a wall around themselves.

People blame obese people because their insurance rates go up. Well, you can just as easily blame anorexic people or smokers for that. Obese people are not the only ones to blame. But so little is really known about obesity, most people just say "oh a fat person can just lose weight and all their problems would be solved." But it is not as easy as just saying "I'm going to lose weight." And people who are out to make fun of a fat person do not help their matters. It just makes the problem worse. Fat people are the way they are probably because they find comfort in food. I just simply find chocolate delicious. I don't want to give it up. I would have to probably be hypnotized to hate chocolate. I've even seen people who say they feel more for a person who smokes or drinks because smoking and drinking is an addiction that the person cannot help. Well, so is chocolate. It is a known fact that chocolate has addictive qualities, much like nicotene. It arouses certain taste buds that triggers happy impulses in the brain and that feels good. So yes, chocolate is an addiction.

I even saw one person who commented on one of my YouTube videos that said he would make fun of a fat person every chance he gets. So he is part of the problem. A person who makes fun of a fat person cannot call themselves part of the solution, only part of the problem. Calling a person names from a moving vehicle is not going to help someone lose weight. It really just makes them want to eat more. Especially if they are the kind of person that finds comfort in food. Me, I have other ways of finding comfort. LOL! I go shopping and that makes me feel good. I also have my dogs, even though Vegas is ornery! I really only eat when I am hungry. Though I always try to make room for chocolate. Especially if the chocolate has nuts. I love chocolate and nuts!!

I just had to get this off my chest because it seems more is known about anorexia than about obesity, probably because people learn more about anorexia simply because they think a thin person is more attractive, so that makes them want to open their minds more to a thin person's problems. But since fat people are considered unattractive, the outside world closes their minds, and only hears what they want to hear about obesity, thinking just the little bit of information we have now is all there is to hear about it. But really, so little is known about it that I think the world would be surprised to find out all there is to know about it. It's truly a very complex issue. While there are people who can lose weight, there's really more to it than saying "I think I'll start going out for a walk every morning now." Ask a fat person. At least someone like me. I'll be honest.

Sunday, February 3, 2013

I Don't Know What To Think Anymore

So many things have been happening this past month, and I've been too busy to actually write about them. Believe me, I have been busy. I am currently working on a new look for the UMG Productions website. I hope to get it done soon. But I have been working hard on it almost daily. I've been so busy with that and working on this story, and thinking of other stories, that I lost track of what is going on in the world. But here are some things that I have that I need to either gripe about, or are confusing me...

1. Skittles. Yes, the fruity-flavored candy with a gel-like center I used to absolutely f***ing LOVE is changing. They are now like the rest of the sheep known as candy companies that are taking away my favorite lime-flavored pieces and replacing them with that wretched green apple flavor!! YUK!! As if we don't already have enough fruit-flavored candies that switched over to that crap! That was the one thing I loved about Skittles, they were the last candies I ever liked that still carried lime candies. Now, they won't be anymore! That really SUCKS!! There is still some hope, at least for a little while longer. Some stores still have the small, $1 boxes of Skittles with lime pieces, and I say enjoy them while you can still get them! I used to love Runts for the same reason, but then they took out the lime flavored pieces and replaced them with that stupid green apple flavor! That pisses me off!! What has the world got against lime?? This is ridiculous!! Leave lime alone!! If Runts wants to make a change for the better, take out those horrid banana-flavored pieces and bring back the lime!! If Skittles wants to be unique, LEAVE THE LIME ALONE!!!! Even Life Savers. Back in 2000 they were going to take out the pineapple pieces, but they never did! They did however take away my favorite lime-flavored pieces. They would have been better off, IMO, taking the pineapple away and leaving the lime pieces in there! Soon I won't be able to enjoy any fruit-flavored candies at all, and believe it or not, there are times I crave something sweet, but don't exactly want anything chocolate. I haven't had Life Savers since 2000 and I haven't had Runts since 2002, and this year will be my last year I guess having Skittles.

2. I found out this afternoon that my old landlord Carolyn quit her position here and moved away. Now, we have a couple in her place, a man and a woman. I hope the man is handy with fixing things. I don't know what happened to Carolyn, suddenly she just decided to quit without any warning or announcement. I'm going to miss her!! I don't know what this new manager is like, I just met her today and got word that Carolyn quit the position. I kinda wonder if Elaina got to her. Elaina is kinda pushy. Nice, but pushy. Carolyn got in trouble a few times for giving the phone number to the maintenance guy out to tenants. I also know she was terminally ill, and maybe she thought that managing this park was too much stress on her. I don't know really. But I do feel bad she is no longer here. She was such a nice person. I even still have her phone number on my cellphone's speed-dial. Elaina, I don't know about her. One minute she can seem really nice, but then the next minute she can seem really salty. Not sure what to think here now. With Carolyn I had more freedom to expand, I don't know about this new landlord. But the rules in this park state that if we have a problem, to talk to our resident landlord, or call Elaina. But then when someone tries to do either, the attending manager gets in trouble. Not really fair!

3. Letting go of a friend. The other night, I had a little bit of a collision with a friend on Facebook. Now, don't get me wrong, she's usually a very sweet person. I do like her. But she's kindof fanatical about cats. I hate cats, and one of the big reasons is because of cat-fanatics like her. I like dogs, and lemurs, but I am not fanatical about them. But if a person likes cats and no other animals, in my eyes, that person is not an animal lover at all. It's not just the fact she is fanatical about cats, but she said that she would run a dog over with her car to save a cat. I was like "What?!?!" She would run over and kill a member of someone's family just to save a sick stray cat that kills wild animals and carries diseases harmful to humans?? That doesn't make any sense to me. But frankly, I cannot say much about that, so I held my tongue. I myself have killed cats on the road in the long run to save birds, squirrels and any other animal that would have been that cat's potential prey. So has Katrina, my best friend. She killed 3 cats in one day once; 2 on her way to work and one on the way to a local restaurant where she had her lunch, and she boasts about it because she hates cats more than I do. She even laughs when she sees a dead cat on the side of the road, or a dead cat anywhere. She hates them THAT much! Katrina will stop for dogs, raccoons, even mice. The only animal she won't stop for is cats.

Yes, cat fanciers would argue that owls eat the same species, even if they are endangered. The argument I have for that is the owls were here first. Cats are not native to this country, they are actually invaders. We do have wild cats here, but they don't just kill a bird or a squirrel and don't eat it. Only lions do that. Feral cats however kill just to be killing, and that is not cool. I don't even like most people for that same reason. So yeah, I would never approve of killing a dog to save anything as useless as a cat. Don't get me wrong though, I would never deliberately kill someone's pet. If I know the cat belongs to someone and is their pet, I would not hurt it under any circumstances. I've gotten out of my car to physically move my landlord's cat once. I didn't have to, I could have just crushed it under my van, but I knew that was her kitty, and I know she valued it. In fact, I am actually going to miss that cat. It was a sweet kitty. I don't think kitty cats are ugly. In fact, they look like lemurs to me. If my feelings about cats were based solely on the way they look, cats would actually be my favorite animals simply because they look like lemurs. I don't hate cats for the way they look, I hate them for the way they are. They are destructive. Many times more destructive than a dog of similar size. Cats carry diseases like typhoid, myotoxicosis, necrotizing fasciitis (flesh-eating bacteria), staphococcus and ringworm. I also read an article recently that cats actually make their owners go crazy. Something about a pheromone released by the animals that gets to a person's brain and over time, extended exposure to it causes a chemical imbalance in the brain. I'm trying to word it like the article did. LOL! If I could find that article I would link to it now, I think it was on the Discovery Channel's website. The reason I believe this article is because I've seen many cat fanatics and they were indeed the craziest people I've ever met!! All of them alike. Yet dog fanciers are not like that at all. So there is a difference there. Even when I was a kid I noticed the difference, and I loved cats when I was a kid. I noticed dog fanicers were more calm, friendly, laid-back people, while other cat-fanciers were crazy. That's kinda what made me change my mind about cats. I stopped loving them so much when I was about 7 years old. Even though I had a cat since then, and he was the greatest cat I've ever known, I still would never feel the way about them that I did when I was a kid.

Well, those things are basically what is on my mind now, just wanted to post an update here. Going to make some doughnuts out of canned biscuit dough tonight. My ma used to do them that way and they were awesome! I'd been craving some recently so I decided to try this myself.