Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Jerkness In Austin

This dude is an asshole!! He created a blog, called Sleepless In Austin, where he is looking for a girl to fall in love with and is willing to pay $1500 for just the right one. He could offer someone $1 million and he still would never find a girl! I know if I were under 130 pounds and looking, I would not want him! He's a jerk!! Not only does he say he is physically repulsed by overweight women, he is also repulsed by blacks, said he would never date even a very attractive white woman who has been with a black man. And not only that, but he hates gays too. Now, I can understand if he doesn't want a fat woman, and doesn't date people of different races, and doesn't want to be seen making love to a man. But the way he talks about those kind of people. There are some very attractive overweight women out there. Not only that, but fat women have more personality than thin women. Like JPMetz said, fat women know how to have more fun. They had to develop personality to be liked. Whereas people automatically liked thin women because they were thin. Now, I am not saying all thin women are boring. I have thin friends and I like them. But thin women were just automatically liked, they didn't have to have personality on their side. Fat women did have to train their character in order to be accepted.

As for this dude's opinion on black people, yes I do know there are black people who are not attracted to whites, no one calls them racists. I realize that. In all fairness if a white person does not desire to have a black mate, they should not be labeled racists either. But the way this guy talks about them does make him seem racist! He says he finds black people physically repulsive, that they're animals, or monkeys, and says any white person who dates a black person is borderline into bestiality. And not only that, but he also says he would never date any white woman who has been with a black man because he calls it "dirty". And he doesn't think that sounds racist????? He needs to open his eyes! He also says gays are morally wrong and is the trait of a defective human being. I was looking at his website, and he says he is not a negative person, but he seems very negative to me. Looking at his "About Me" page, he has been on Judge Judy, and Stevie Ray Vaughan's brother doesn't even like him. A lot of things he has put on his page is very telling of the kind of person he is!

For example, on his FAQs page, he was asked if he's tried online date sites, and he says "I’ve tried all of those sites off and on over the last couple years and they just don’t work for me. I went out on a small handfull of dates due to them. Half of them were women I liked and would have liked to had a long term relationship with, but they never seen me again after the first date or two. The other half I went out with on those sites all had issues, ranging from drug use to being bi-polar. Other women would message me on those sites but I refused to even meet them to to either A. They were unattractive and overweight. or B. They had “issues”." I mean, doesn't that say a lot there? It tells me no woman would want him unless she's very desperate. And most attractive women are not that desperate!! Also, he has a page that talks about the kind of girl he wants, he contradicts himself when he says "I like a girl that dresses on the conservative side. Not like a slut, and not anything weird. Just normal is fine. T-Shirt & Jeans are OK. But a girl in a dress really gets my heart racing! I also love it when a girl wears a mini skirt with boots, not cowboy boots, but sexy boots. Or high heels, I love spiked high heels!" Really? Isn't a mini-skirt, sexy boots and/or spiked heels the trademark of a slutty girl's apparel?

And there is one more thing, you might want to have a good look at this "handsome" devil:


OK that was sarcasm! LOL! Not exactly does he look like the "catch of the century". In fact, I would go on record to say he looks downright homely to me. He kinda looks like a baboon. Or I would say that, if it wasn't so insulting to the other baboons. I'd like to say to him, dude, if you're going to have an attitude like you have, you'd better look a hell of a lot better than you do! Beggars cannot be choosers. You'd be better off with an ugly woman with a good personality than with a beautiful woman, which you will never get! Not that I would offer!!! I saw the pictures of his ex-girlfriend, and she is not all that thin. But then again, maybe he dumped her when she began to put on some weight. I wouldn't put it past him if he did! He seems like he would be that type of person. He says an overweight person is a person who lacks self-esteem or self-discipline and is unhealthy. I can tell you, I am overweight, and I have plenty of self-esteem, and I like to walk when I have the chance. I don't know what he means by a lack of self-discipline, every person is different. And I can say that for a fat person my age, I am very healthy. No problems with my heart or cholesterol at all.

He also does not like what he considers to be "trashy" people. He thinks all homeless people are drug addicts or booze drinkers. While I will admit I am leery of giving homeless people money because I believe they will buy drugs, cigarettes or booze with it, not all homeless people are like that. Some are homeless simply because they had some hard luck. I hate people who generalize like this guy does! But you know what? This is the kind of person that makes me glad to be fat and unattractive! Because I wouldn't want someone like this dude coming on to me! I might have made the mistake of falling in love with him (well, if he didn't have that face). The fact of the matter is, I've been there before. I wasn't in love with him, but I made friends with a guy just like this dude. His name was Craig. Craig Pajares. He went to the voc school with me. He was a lot more attractive back then than this dude though. Although I did see him briefly again back in 1994 and he looked AWFUL!!! I recognized him though, and I recognized that old clunker of a truck he had. Craig looked like he was high on drugs, which I wouldn't have doubted he was!!

Craig was just as bad mentally as this dude is. If I'd known back then what I do now, I never would have been Craig's friend. He bad-mouthed Dian Fossey in front of me. Not only that, but he used to shit on my sister too. He barely knew my sis! Yet he used to talk shit about her almost every day. He only met her once, and all they said to each other was hello. Craig would have shat on my parents if I'd talked about them too. He warned me himself that he is an asshole and I didn't believe him. Now I believe him! I stopped liking him after he asked me to help him complete his portfolio for camera class because he was going home sick. He promised as a repayment for me helping him, that he would give me a ride home the very next day. Well, I finished his portfolio for him (I admit it, I was young and stupid!) and the next day I guess I counted too heavily on him giving me a ride home, to the point where I took the money I had and treated myself to lunch in the school's cafeteria (a luxury that was rare for me back then). Well, when I reminded Craig of his promise to give me a lift home, he said he never promised me anything. So he went home and didn't give me a lift to my place like he promised the day before. I didn't have any bus fare, so I had to go around the classroom and ask for a handout. Thankfully, one of my instructors there obliged. I was grateful, but I never saw Craig the same way again.

These days, I am so jaded, if Craig had asked me to do him any favors with the promise of anything in return, I would say "No. You give me a lift home today, and I will help you with your portfolio tomorrow." Either that, or I would say to him, "Hell no! Fuck YOU!! Finish your own portfolio you dork!" LOL! These days, I don't trust anyone. At least I try never to place too much trust in anyone's word. I've been let down too many times to allow that to happen.

Well, as for this guy, not everything he says are things I don't agree with. He doesn't like Obama, neither do I. He didn't like either Bush's or the Clintons, neither do I. He doesn't like that all of our rights are being taken away, neither do I. He believes 9/11 was an inside job, I am on the fence about that one! Why would the government order thousands of innocent civilians killed just so the president can alter the constitution???? Then cover it up by saying that Al-Queda are solely responsible for that attack? That doesn't make sense to me. I remember some years ago, someone got on here, it was either DonnaG or one of her stupid cronies, I wanted to move to the UK, or Australia, even Canada would suffice!! Anywhere to get away from Obama!! Well that person said that the UK, Australia and Canada always follow US policies. Well, if that's true, why is it Canada has free meds, the UK has free health care, and the US has none of that? It doesn't look like any of that is going to change soon either.

Well, anyone who wants to see the interview with this mate-seeker, check this video out!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/09/26/sleepless-in-austin-interview-awful_n_3997377.html

Friday, September 27, 2013

Big and Sweet Muu

It's raining today! I've been hoping for rain all week long, and didn't get it. Not while I've been awake anyways. I had nowhere to go yesterday or the day before that, or the day before that, and I got nothing but sunny days. The one day I absolutely HAVE to go out, it decides to rain. That pisses me off!!! But I don't know. Maybe it'll clear up by the time I have to go to my appointment. This is why I don't like having any engagements! Because every time I have something planned, something like this happens! Days like this I like to stay inside and relax. I don't like going anywhere on rainy days. Not even if it is in the car.

Well anyways, I finally thought of a jingle for Minnie. I've been trying to think of one, and what song I wanted to put the lyrics to. I got this idea last night while watching my tsunami documentary. There is a scene taken in Thailand where the performers at this hotel are playing Silent Night and singing it beautifully. You know no matter how many times I watch that documentary, it always gets my heart to racing!!! It's sad and thrilling all at the same time!! Well, my sis is into volcanos, and I am into tsunamis. What can I say? I love the ocean! Even when it's misbehaving. Even if I myself had been caught up in a tsunami, I think I would still find them fascinating. I think that's the way I'd want to go, just have GOD send me a good 50-foot tsunami and end it all for me. That would RULE!!!! Then I would be in Heaven with a smile on my face because I'd just witnessed a most awesome spectacle!

Anyways, here's the song I wrote for Minnie, sang to the tune of Silent Night:


Big and sweet Muu

Sweet as fresh dew

Has big, sweet ears

Lovely and true

Muu-mie loves to just cradle and love

Lies in your lap as calm as a dove

Licks in heavenly swee-eet

And has such sweet little feet!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Hate Message to an Autistic Child

People make me sick sometimes. The woman who wrote this letter is at the very top of my shit list! This letter is vile, cruel, disgusting, and stupid and makes me lose all hope in the future of humanity!


To think that the thing that wrote this letter to a mother with an autistic child makes me sick! Especially the fact that IT has children of it's own, which it refers to as "normal children". So let's run down this list of demands shall we? OK!

First, IT says, "I live in this neighborhood and I have a problem". Um yes. I think you do have a problem, but your problem has nothing to do with the child you wrote about in this letter! Your problem is that you completely lack compassion for others. And your mama obviously raised you wrong. Where did your mom grow up? In a cave? Does your mom scratch her bare-naked ass in public? Obviously she raised you, so your mom has no shame.

"You have a kid that is mentally handicapped and you consciously decided that it would be a good idea to live in a close proximity neighborhood like this???? You selfishly put your kid outside every day and let him be nothing but a nuisance and a problem to everyone else with that noise polluting whaling he constantly makes!!!" So what is she supposed to do? You think just because a child is autistic that he doesn't deserve to have fun like the rest of the children? Gimme a break!!

"That noise he makes is DREADFUL!!!!!!!!!! It scares the hell out of my normal children!!!!!!!" Yeeeeeeessssssss, I'm sure your children are very 'normal'. They probably stay indoors all day, eating potato chips and scratching their behinds too while playing video games and watching anime cartoons. And you just have the most quietest children on the planet don't you! Well here's a tip from an expert: Normal children are not quiet!!

"When you feel your idiot kid needs fresh air, take him to our park you dope!!!" So do you kiss your own kids with that "sweet and clean" mouth of yours? (that was sarcasm, BTW) How very classy of you to call someone else an "idiot". I'm glad my ma wasn't like you! You're probably one of those types of parents who thinks a child isn't worth having if they're not perfect. In fact, you probably had a child born with a disability before and you told the doctor you didn't want it and had the doctor destroy it. You sick bastard!!

"Crying babies, music even barking dogs are normal sounds in a residential neighborhood!!!!! HE IS NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I lost count on the exclamation points on that last word. LOL! BTW, there must be 100 exclamation points in this one relatively short letter alone. Is there really a need for that? And I bet she bitches about crying babies and barking dogs too. Come to think of it, let her complain about my dogs to me. She'll hear some "normal" words and phrases come out of me. I'd tell her to go fuck herself.

"He is a nuisance to everyone and will always be that way!!!!!" Oh really? Are you a medium now? I've seen some people with autism go on to do some great things! Things you will never understand. But I'll hand you props for one thing, you being such a loud-mouthed cunt teaches people that compassion is necessary.

"Who the hell is going to care for him?????? No employer is going to hire him, no normal girl is going to marry/love him and you are not going to live forever!!!" And who is going to marry/love your children when you teach them to do such ugly things like writing this letter?

"Personally, they should take whatever non retarded body parts he possesses and donate it to science. What the hell else good is he to anyone!!!" I must admit, I had to read and re-read these two sentences carefully. The lack of grammar skills this idiot displays in this letter makes me think that perhaps she is angry because she herself is the retarded one in this scenario. Not the little boy she is trying to bash.

"You had a retarded kid, deal with it...properly!!!!!" Well, some moron had you. Maybe they should have dealt with you...properly!!!!!

"What right do you have to do this to hard working people!!!!!!!!" Is that supposed to be a question? Well, let me tell you NO ONE works harder than a parent with an autistic child!! Not only do they have to deal with that child's problems day to day, but they also have to protect them from dumbasses like the thing that wrote this letter! Thanks to Bill Clinton, this thing doesn't have to do anything with it's children. It just kissed it's husband(s) and waited around for 9 months. No discipline, nothing involved. That doesn't sound like hard work to me. But the woman with the autistic child, she should be given a medal for bravery! She's taking on one of the hardest tasks there is! Good for her!!

"I HATE people like you who believe, just because you have a special needs kid, that you are entitled to special treatment!!! GOD!!!!!!!" And I HATE people like you (excuse me, I forgot, you're not a people!) I HATE idiots like you who think just because you're children are "normal" in your eyes, that handicapped children are not deserving of the same respect you would want people giving your own children. This whole letter is sick and twisted, and the author of this letter should be shot dead. That would do the world a great service. And take those kids away from her by all means!! And don't bring GOD into this! The only thing HE will do for you is send your ass straight to Hell. You're supposed to be good to your fellow man (there I go again! I forgot this thing ain't human!) This letter proves you are a LONG way from being a good person! (Dammit! I need to get my memory in gear!)

"Do everyone in our community huge a favor and MOVE!!!! VAMOSE!!! SCRAM!!!! Move away and get out of this type of neighborhood setting!!!" If you don't like this kid, why don't YOU move away? With your attitude, you don't deserve to be in any community setting any more than you think she does!

"Nobody wants you living here and they don't have the guts to tell you!!!!!" And I noticed you wrote all this crap and didn't have the guts to give this parent your name. Sure, talk about someone else not having guts, when you lack the guts yourself. At least I don't hide anything.

"Do the right thing and move or euthanize him!!! Either way, we are ALL better off!!!" If I were the recipient of this note, I would say "How about instead we euthanize one of your children for their lack of empathy?" because the last thing we need in this world is more "people" like the one that wrote this note!

The saddest thing about this note is that a lot of people, who scorn this woman, have probably thought pretty much the same things in their lives. I know how most of the world feels about autistic children. I went to school, I know. I was among those autistic kids that was cast off. Not just by the kids, but also by the teachers. Some of the teachers anyways. I remember in middle school, my home economics teacher, Mrs. McCallough, most likely thought the exact same thing this "pissed off mother" thought. She never put it into words, but she was much more hateful to me than she was toward the "normal" kids. But I must also add that she was merely a puppet being manned by Mr. Purvis. He was really the culprit in the infamous "teacher-bullying" I received when I was in that school.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Nice Guys (and Girls) Finish Last

I was reading an article about this and it appears that it is true. This saying got started because most women seem to prefer men who are less nice and considerate, and usually are the "bad boy" types. This is why so many marriages escalate into domestic violence episodes. That is one reason why I do not want to get married. Matter of fact, it's the biggest reason why. I remember Patti got miffed because she found out I was not married and had no desire to be married. I'm not sure, but I think she wanted to set me up with a guy. Of course I would trust her judgment about as much as I would trust a deep, dark hole in the ground, her husband beat her up! But that was probably her own fault. If I were going to get married, I would stay away from the "bad boys" and stay with a man with a steady job that would treat me well. He must make at least $1000 a week to keep me, because I love to shop! I would do it more often if I could! But as of now, I haven't been shopping since I left Bozeman. I could use a new wardrobe though. hehehe!

Well, the same thing goes for nice girls. Nice girls are often rejected by society. I always try to be nice. I was nothing but nice to Patti, and she didn't like it. Sometimes though, I wish I had told her to shut up once she started in on me. But my thoughts were with trying to get along, first and foremost. I honestly don't know to this day if that would have had me earning her respect, or if she would have been more like "Hey! Don't you ever tell me to shut up!" But I should have done it anyways, because now I would feel so much better! I'm not mad at Patti. I never was. I'm mad at myself for trying too hard to get along with her, to a point where I just let her walk all over me. I did stick up for myself when she tried to take my jar of peanut butter. By then I wasn't trying to get along with her anymore. I had all my food packed up with the rest of my things to take home with me after Patti's brother said I should be moving out. But Patti came knocking on my door asking for that peanut butter with her hand outstretched to take it away from me. I told her she's not getting it because it's MINE! I'd had it since just before I moved from Bozeman, and it had my name on it. I only shared it with Patti while I lived there to be nice.

When it comes to me, I don't defend myself very well. But when it comes to my possessions, I defend them viciously!! When it comes to my things, I can make a mother tiger seem wimpy. I've always been like that. I don't know why. Probably because my possessions are all I have and I feel I have to protect them with my life. Same with my dogs. I defend them just as angrily. If Patti were to start in on my dogs, she would have felt the full force of my wrath. I would have charged at her and struck her down like a tsunami. But that's a side of me very few people have seen. I am not normally violent like that. I don't normally like to be. For the most part, I am a very laid-back, gentle, shy, languid person. I try to be friendly to people, but one has to keep in mind, years of being mistreated by people I'd put a lot of trust in, has made me much more jaded, and far less friendly than I used to be. Back when I was in my teens and 20s, I would have forgiven Kim Hedges easy, even after what she did to me and my sis, and just brushed that incident off. But since she's done what so many people in my past have done to me, I can't forgive her now. It's impossible. Heck, I even forgave Patti and Chris Shultze for the time I worked for them and even for the way I was relieved of their job. I still call it being "relieved". LOL! I forgave them a long time ago.

I admit I was not treated too well on that job, I lost a lot of freedom walking through their doors, and it wasn't like I gained back that freedom at a certain time after work was over, because when I lived with them, there was no quitting time. I was on the job 24 hours a day, and they took full advantage of that! But on the other hand, I wasn't treated all that badly either. They did treat me to dinner once in a while. They sort of taught me to like (or at least try) some foods I never thought I would try. Cauliflower being one of them. I've written at least one story with them in it (there was another written by a friend I worked with once) and that helped a lot in putting the lid on them. I'm thinking of a story I want to write with Patti Killebrew (not the same person, just the same first name). I do this frequently, sometimes it makes the stories interesting. My sis does not usually like it when I write stories like that. But I don't know. Maybe she'd like this one. Maybe?

But the main point is why is it that nice people get rejected while shitty, nasty people get praised and are sought after the most? That just doesn't make sense to me. When I was younger, I believed in treating everyone the way I would want to be treated. But it seems those kind of people are never successful at anything. It's always the mean people who seem to get ahead. Why? That just encourages more people to act like assholes. And the world wonders why now people are more rude than they've ever been before. Well, I think it's because society encourages rudeness. It's the rude men who get the women. It's the rude people whose businesses become big. Its the rude people who get the jobs. Even celebrities have to act like assholes to earn a huge following. Not with me though. One of the things I love about INXS is that the guys are so nice. Well, most of them are. I still have yet to see Kirk being nice. Tim probably hates my guts though. IF he's been reading this blog. I don't care, I still love him anyways! LOL!

Well, since most people these days seem to embrace negativity, I don't understand why me acting to fit in, is such an awful thing. People say I am very negative. Even my own sis has told me that. I used to treat people the way I want to be treated. Nowadays, my motto is more like treat them the same as how they've treated me. If someone is negative toward me, I will do the same to them. And yes, I admit I carry a grudge. My fatness is not the only thing I have in common with elephants.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Paul McCartney is Dead

I was reading an article yesterday that mentioned a scandal that took place in 1969 where someone posted somewhere that Paul McCartney was dead. You know, this happens all the time. More often than you think really. I don't know what causes people to do something like this. Sometimes, it's downright comical, I see people posting that a famous celebrity is dead, when they really are not. Paul McCartney, as far as I know, is alive and well, and has even made songs since that scandal took place. I don't know what anyone gains from passing on lies that someone is dead when they are not. But this happened to Paul McCartney and I also heard about it happening to Dane Cook. One of my Facebook friends said Dane Cook was dead, and he's really not, and another of my friends believed it and was in tears talking to me. I had to look that one up, and I assured her that Dane Cook is not dead. But that is a scandal that has been going on for years. Apparently he died in 2008 and in 2010.

I remember when I was in middle school, the other kids used to tell me Ray Walston was dead. But I knew he was not. Not back then! One boy even got snippy with me when I told him that was not true. That boy snapped, "YES HE IS!! GOD DAMMIT!!" But no matter how much that kid snapped at me, I knew Ray Walston was not dead back then. I honestly don't know where the kids in that school heard that one. This was before the internet. But that boy was decisively convinced Ray Walston was dead. It seemed nothing could convince him otherwise. Ray Walston did not really die until almost 20 years later. I had a little crush on him back then, I thought he was as cute as a button! I did some research and I just knew Ray Walston was still alive. What struck me funny was how angry that one boy got just because I told him Ray Walston was not dead. Was he one of those types of people that always had to be right at any cost? Would he have murdered Ray Walston just so he could be speaking the truth? I wonder. He sure got mad enough when I told him he was wrong. What is even funnier, after that boy said that to me and Ray Walston appeared on 2 new movies and even a new sitcom shortly after, instead of admitting he was wrong, that boy called me an ugly cat when we passed in the hallway at school.

I admit I don't exactly appreciate being called a cat! But I excused it coming from him. I was bound to get some bitterness from him since now he knew for sure I was right and he was wrong. That is IF he watched those movies and that sitcom. I take it he did though. The sitcom was made for teenagers. Actually, his actions made me laugh because even back then, I knew the type of person that boy was. He didn't even look me in the eyes when he cursed me out before.

Why do people do this? Do they want to see their favorite celebrities dead? Do they want to hurt the fans by telling them their favorite celebs are dead? Who knows? It all seems kinda sick to me. I sure don't know what I am going to do the day Timmy dies. I was heartbroken when I found out Michael died. And I didn't even know him. I just kissed him once. For all you wiseguys who want to connect me kissing Michael with his suicide, keep in mind, I kissed him back in 1991. Michael died in 1997. If me kissing him had anything to do with his death, why didn't he kill himself back in 1991 or 1992? Oh well! Who cares what the dumbasses think!? LOL! Besides, Michael probably didn't even know I kissed him. hehehe! He probably didn't even see me do it. When Timmy dies, I'll probably be very despondent. It'd be different with him, because I am a huge fan of his, and have been for several years. Plus, I've formally met him before. And I liked him a lot.

When Michael died, my interest in INXS had been on a 5-year hiatus, thanks to these people I worked for, Patti and Chris. I dropped everything I was interested in after working for them because I did not want anything around me that reminded me of my time with them. That included INXS, though I was not as into INXS during my time there as I was into Roxette. I dropped Roxette too, and haven't been back into them since. Not even when they came out with their new album in 2000. Though I still listen to their music, I just don't watch their videos, or drool over Per Gessle like I used to. But in 1997, for most of the year, I had all but forgotten about INXS. About a month before Michael died though, a very minute amount of interest in the band began to spark in my mind. It was enough that I began eyeing their pictures again. But just that. I wasn't watching their videos, I was not really drooling over Michael or any of the other band members then. I was just looking at their pics a little more often than I did for the previous 5 years.

This is how I am. I get into something, that interest lasts for a while, and then dissipates. In the beginning the feeling can be very strong. Like when I got back into INXS in 2005, after barely thinking of them for something like 4 years. My love for them came back with a vengeance! Like nothing ever before! That interlude started with a dream. But that's what keeps my life interesting. But anyways, thinking back, I wonder if I was sensing there was something the matter with Michael. I don't know why I would even think that, because in 1997 when I began thinking about INXS, I hadn't even thought about them for 5 years. But I began to get a bit of an interest in them again. I never saw Michael on TV, I hadn't yet heard (or heard OF) their new album. But for some reason, I began to have an interest in INXS again. It may have been almost like Michael was screaming through the air waves "help me" and I wanted to help him. I don't know. My interest started off very slow. As the month moved on, it began to grow little by little. Then I found out Michael was dead. I was just enough into INXS for that to have an impact on me.

I could sit here and type out what I was thinking second by second. But none of this is easy to explain. I know it sounds bizarre. But my instincts are very sharp. It has nothing to do with me knowing Michael or not. I wasn't his friend. I did not idolize him at the time any of this happened. I am crazy, but not to the point where I believe Michael and I can communicate with each other. Why would he want to communicate with me? We were not friends when he was living. Why would he speak to me after his death? I just think my growing interest in INXS back then was nothing more than pure instinct. I can't explain what triggered that instinct. I'll never be able to explain it. I don't claim to be Michael's friend or medium. I just have sharp instincts about people and things I care about. And at that time, I had cared about INXS at one time. Just that it was years before this incident. I think I still cared about them deep down inside. That's why this little pursuit arose in the first place.

Tuesday, September 17, 2013

The Return of Mushmouth

I was listening to some music the other day when it was raining outside, and one of the songs my MP3 player decided to play on Shuffle was an old song by an obscure group. The song was You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet by Figures on a Beach. It was their own version of that song, and a one-hit wonder. If you can even consider it that. Anyway, every time I ever hear that song, it makes me think of this character that used to always be a regular in Uncle Martin and the Gang's stories. His name was Mushmouth. You can still see him in many of our earlier stories. Yes, I did name him after the Fat Albert character, and yes in the beginning he did used to stutter, kindof like Porky Pig. But as he got older, I stopped his stuttering and he became an adult.

Mushmouth is one character that has gone through so many changes over the years. He made his very first appearance in 1988, it was an experimental thing back then. Honestly he was not supposed to be in my stories for very long. I had the name, but I didn't have a form. I wanted to make him a critter that matches the name, and the one animal that sprang to mind was an elephant seal. You can imagine how an elephant seal would talk if it could, with that long trunk getting in it's way. But a lot of the "cuteness" factor was gone on that animal. I wanted something that also was cute, as well as comical. Well, I loved lemurs, so I made him that, a lemur. A black and white ruffed lemur to be exact. This was a drawing I made of him in 1989:



 He's not only gone through those kind of changes, but also several name changes. Mostly because my sis had me convinced that the name "Mushmouth" sounds ridiculous. HA! This from a woman who now has a character in her line-up named "Great Falls"! In 1991, I was heavily into Roxette, so I changed Mushmouth's name then to "Gessle". But that name was silly to me, and I don't really like naming my characters after favorite musicians, so almost immediately I dropped "Gessle" and put Mushmouth to rest for a while. I brought him back in 1994, after I began my Metazoic project. This time, instead of him being a lemur, I turned him into a Metazoic Deinognathus. This was a pic I did back in 1996:

That was from the story titled "the Kidnappers", which is available on the UMG Productions website.

UPDATE: After a chat I had with Cairo (who created Davy after Michael died) in 2015, Mushmouth and Davy are NOT the same character! Go here for more details: http://www.timmyfan.com/2015/03/mushmouth-or-davy.html

Well, this time I have decided to bring him back, my stories do best with Mushmouth in them. He brings a lot of humor to the stories. So, I want to bring him back, the way he was. Screw the new names, and new forms. Just bring Mushmouth the Deinognathus back, as just himself. Get ready!

Poody Dessa's Coming to Town

At the request of my sis, I made a little piece about Odessa, sang to the tune of Santa Claus is Coming To Town:


She’s fat and she’s sweet

And has little feet

As a good dog she cannot be beat

Poody Dessa’s coming to town

She cuddles and licks

And does little tricks

Licking is how she gets all her kicks

Poody Dessa’s coming to town

She licks you when you’re sleeping

She licks when you’re awake

She licks your face ‘till you’re all wet

So grab a towel for goodness sake!

Oh…

She has a sweet face

So blind she can’t chase

Yet she handles it all with rhythm and grace

Poody Dessa’s coming to town

I conjured this up a couple days ago, I am still trying to think of one for Minnie. I need a good tune. It must be a Christmas tune. I think I'll make a video of me doing these tunes and put it up around Christmas time. IF I have a computer then! I've been thinking of giving this one back. Going to have some hardships coming up for the next few months.

One Full Year

I can hardly believe it will be a full year this month that I moved in with ol' Patti. You know, I still have the emails she sent me. I put up an ad on Craigslist looking for anyone who might have had an apartment or room to rent me, and Patti answered my ad. She was one of several, but the reason I consented to move in with her was because first of all, I thought we had a lot in common. I had no idea she was really lying to me at that interview. Second of all, she lived closer to Ocean Shores, and I wanted to go back there so bad. I'd missed it living in Bozeman for a whole year. Far as I know, I did everything right. Those I did not do right, seemed to make Patti fly into an extreme rage, and place unrelenting doubts in her mind.

When I moved in with her, I was moving in blind. She had no set rules for that house, there was no contract signed and no money exchanged hands. When it came to food, she was dirty! She would put her mutt's food dish down on a cutting board that I was supposed to prepare food on, and that food dish had been outside, where the cats piss and shit, and birds take a shit, and there were bugs and mice, and the food dish was covered with the mutt's hair. And she wanted me to ignore that and eat toast that had been where that food dish was. And if there's still any doubt in your mind why I wanted out of that barbecue she wanted me to invite my mother and stepfather to, I looked on that grill, and there was a pair of dirty old work boots sitting right on the grill. No doubt they had been in areas where there were chickens and other animals, and I don't believe Patti would have gotten that grill clean enough to be safe to cook on. I prayed every day to GOD to get me out of that barbecue, and I truly believe HE answered my prayer when Patti kicked me out. Because I truly believe that would have been the only way out of that.

I remember after breakfast that first morning, I told Patti I wanted to sweep the floor, and it was a darn good thing I did! It felt nasty to walk on. When I swept, I noticed there was 3 inches of dirt on the floor. I didn't have to clean, like I said, there was no contract. Patti's brother told her he wanted a contract signed, but Patti didn't want to do it. So, I didn't have to do any chores I didn't want to. I was not bounded to. The only reason I did them was because I wanted to. But since no contracts were signed, I could have said no to Patti, and there was nothing she could legally do about it, except throw me out, since it was her (brother's) house. In the end, I got what I wanted. She did look shocked when she told me I was being kicked out and I said "cool!" hehehehe!

You know what is strange? The very day I was kicked out of Patti's brother's house, I got an email. In fact, it was some time after she told me that I was kicked out. It was a strange email. Someone answered my ad, and said they were from Elma. Well, I happen to know Patti's brother had moved to Elma as his house was being sold. The strange thing about the email was it was from someone else who lived on a farm in Elma, and they said I would have to pay them $450 a month (which is what Patti was asking) and I would have to get up every morning to work on their farm. This person said they didn't want any slobs, or anyone who wants to live a soft life. I saw that email, and I said "Fuck them!! If I have to work on their farm, they should be paying me to live there! Not me paying them!" I threw that email away, and did not even respond.

Later on, I actually figured out it must have been either Patti or her brother that sent me that email. The fact the person (who apparently didn't know me) mentioned the word "slobs" gave it away. The email may even have been written by a friend of Patti's, that she put up to emailing me that sappy offer. I wouldn't put it past Patti to do something like that. She was just crazy enough. I wouldn't move in with another one like Patti though if she promised to pay me $1000 a month. The only time I will ever move in with anymore roommates is if I own the house, and I set the rules. Then I will get to pick who I live with. But NO ONE like Patti ever again!!! In fact, I intend to look deep into the person's background, contact all living family members and see what they are like. Sometimes the family is a good indication of what that one individual is going to be like. Patti, for example, told me she has one sister that is a hoarder. A person who hoards is screaming for help. They have some real problems in their life. Plus, the thing Patti mentioned about her ex-husband being a beater. Normal women do not marry a man who beats them. And most who do, married the man after only knowing that person for a few weeks. That's definitely a sign that person is crazy. Also, I remember there was this picture of a very ugly woman on Patti's brother's desk, and it looked like there was once a man in the picture that had been cut out. It might have been Patti's father. And he wouldn't have been cut out unless there was some deep, dark resentment toward him from the family. Another good indicator that Patti's family has some major problems.

Well, I learned my lesson. Stay away from lonely, childless, 50+ year old women who claim their husband beat on them. They are not right in the head! Before I moved in there though, I thought it was going to be my dream place. At least until I could move to Oregon. But after I moved in, there were so many things I found out was wrong that I had no idea about before I moved in. I couldn't even use the dishwasher because Patti said running the hot water was too expensive. She was definitely a penny-pincher. She could pinch a penny until Abraham Lincoln turned blue! Patti did not know I used the washer and drier while I was there, or she might have made me wash my clothes in the river and dry them on a rock! That would have really sucked!! Believe me, she did not hurt my feelings when she ordered me to move out! I would have been more depressed if I'd had to stay there any longer! I was depressed enough that my ma wouldn't come and get me that night, and I had to stay there for another night. When my ma came the next day, I was so excited and relieved to be going back to them. That was sheer delight!

Well, that was a year ago. I haven't seen Patti since. Not that I miss her, or want to see her. I pray to GOD I never see her again! I don't even want to hear from her again. She's out of my life, I'm grateful, and thankful to GOD for getting me out of there. I like where I am now, I enjoy it. And the people here are so helpful. Even though for the most part, I keep to myself. My new neighbor, his name is Michael, even has a fascinating dog. It's a medium Portuguese Podengo. It's a rather rare breed, his is named Pete. And he is cute!! He was amazed I know what a Portuguese Podengo is. I've been studying dogs for a LONG time! Over 30 years. When you've been studying dogs that long, there are no breeds that surprise you. The only things that surprise me are these designer mutts. But they aren't breeds. They're just mutts that stupid people put these weird names on to make them sound like official breeds so they can charge thousands of dollars for them. I think I am even becoming close friends with my other neighbors, John and Lori. They're pretty cool, and John has helped me quite a bit since I've been here.

Ya know, my father does not like me asking them for help, but Lori came to me one day and asked me why I haven't asked John for anymore help. She said he likes helping me out. He really cares. And I don't mean "cares" like in Patti's lingo. To Patti, "caring" means to control me and butt her nose into my business. But Lori and John are nothing like that! And Lori loves Vegas and Minnie. In fact I am going to let her take care of the dogs while I am over to my partner's place bringing him back here. I know the dogs will be taken care of.

Sunday, September 15, 2013

My Versions of Christmas Songs

I did a little project this morning. I'm taking popular Christmas songs and putting my own words to their tunes. I write about things I know. I must say my work has been very creative. But that's me, I love creativity. I wish I could always be creative. I was watching Herbie Rides Again last night, and I was reminded of ol' Andy, back in Bozeman. I even wrote a psalm about him. He looks just like Keenan Wynn, who always played a Mr. Hawk. He even has his temper. The resemblance is totally uncanny. Anyway, this is the song I wrote about him, to the tune of Frosty the Snowman:


Andy the blowman

Was as stinky as could be

Never took a bath

And talks lots of crap

Cuz he’s not like you and me

Oh…

Andy the blowman

Likes to have sex with his dog

Makes a pass at one

And the women run

Cuz his face looks like a hog

He must have skipped his bath that day he whooped and raged about

For when he charged right through those doors, his stench nearly knocked me out

UGH…

Andy the blowman

Is a pedophile you see

When he gets all wild

He will rape his child

Then he has a jubilee
 
See, this is creativity. Andy wouldn't know what that is. To him, being creative is calling fat people "fat" or calling an animal lover a "cow" and telling fat people they need to lose weight. LOL!! But his was just the beginning. I made one for Vegas too, sang to the tune of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer:


Vegas the spotted Booby

Had some very tiny feet

And if you ever saw them

You would even say they’re sweet

All of the other boobies

Didn’t seem to have a prayer

When Vegas would walk by them

All they did was sit and stare

Cuz when Vegas showed his feet

His mommy would just squee

“Vegas with your feet so small

I love to hug you like a doll”

Oh how his mommy loved him

As she shouted out with glee

“Vegas the spotted booby

You have got such teeny feet!”

Let me clarify, in my language, "booby" refers to any small dog. I call them all boobies, because they are just so darn cute!! And the use of the word "blow" when I am referring to Andy, means "obnoxious" or "damned". Enjoy these!

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Onision Is A Liar!

It's official! Onision is a fucking liar! Seriously, I knew before he was a pedophile, and there really was a hint of doubt that he is a liar and a manipulator. I didn't think he was that good at doing that. Then I saw one of his debate videos, where someone said he was banned from Vidcom. Onision dug his own grave with that debate. He said he was banned from Vidcom for his own safety because people were threatening to go to Vidcom and throw meat, milk and eggs at him. I believe people may have threatened to do that, but I don't believe Onision was banned for that reason at all. He was banned because he's an asshole and probably flirted with young girls in their teens. Who really knows? Onision won't admit it. He maintains that he was banned for his own safety. Let me tell you something about that. NOBODY is EVER banished from ANYWHERE for their own safety!!! If someone is going to be banned from any event, it would be the people making the threats, NOT the VICTIM!! Someone may have advised Onision not to go to Vidcom, but I doubt he was banned for his own safety. So, I know he was lying about that!

I remember when I went to the Schnitzer Hall in Portland for a special INXS concert/meet and greet, someone alerted me that the delusional mods were talking about me attending that concert, and told me to be careful because of it. But I was not banned for my own safety from going there. That's because that just does not happen. As he always does, Onision is covering up something that he did that he shouldn't have done at his last Vidcom. The delusional mods did not keep me from going to that concert. I would not have cared if they threatened to jump me from behind a building, I was not going to be swayed from going to that concert. Not by them anyways. The only thing I would ever let keep me from going to a concert is INXS themselves. And if that ever happened, and I knew why, I would not be saying that I was banned for my own safety.

That's what I find totally annoying about Onision, he uses words and phrases to cover up his evil doings, and he calls it "comedy". If you look at the video he did after he killed his pet tortoise, you will see him constantly contradicting himself and making up excuses. Check it out!

Onision Goes Full Retard

Not only that, but several people called the WA state Animal Control Welfare office on him and reported that he killed his tortoise in a cruel and vicious manner. Then Onision has the gall to say that his tortoise did not die because he baked it to death, that it had a panic attack instead because of construction noises going on in his neighborhood! UGH that makes me mad!!! I want to wring Onision's neck for that one!!! Tortoises do not die of panic attacks from construction noises! Not in a matter of 2 or 3 hours!! Their metabolism is so slow, it would literally take days for a tortoise to die if it had a panic attack!! And tortoises, like dogs and cats, can get used to anything in their environment, including construction noises. The workers would have had to be within inches of that tortoise in order to even remotely cause it to have a panic attack!! I know animals, I've been studying animals a LOT longer than Onision, or any of his fanboys, have been alive. And I can tell you all now, putting a plastic bin over the tortoise for 3 hours is going to cause it to bake. It was 75-80 degrees in Seattle that day, I remember, I was here. That means it would have been over 100 degrees in that plastic bin. Yes a tortoise can handle that heat, but NOT for 3 hours!!! The most a tortoise would bask in heat like that would probably be 30-40 minutes, then they start looking for shade.

This young lady calls out Onision's actions, and she said she was the first to call Animal Welfare in Seattle:

Onision Murders an Animal and Tries to Justify It

Its nearly an hour long, but what she says is interesting. Onision needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions, instead of sitting around, making excuses, and calling everyone who knows more than he does "dumb", "stupid" or "retarded". Oh! And my favorite one: "haters". Onision does not understand what a "hater" is! He doesn't have any real "haters". He has people who simply call him out on his bullshit. He should take a lesson from me. If I am wrong, I admit it. If I am proven wrong. And I don't try to make up any excuses, and I don't try to hide it. The dirty dozen thinks I try to hide it. But then again, the dirty dozen thinks "Maan" doesn't exist, and they know damn well he does. They just don't want to admit that they know who he is. But if I am wrong, I admit it and if I feel the other person's claim is true, I apologize for being wrong. For example, the people back in Bozeman, after the dirty dozen mob showed them this blog. The ONLY person I apologized to was Deb, because she proved me wrong. But I did not apologize to anyone else. Not Kim, not Andy, and not Mike, nor anyone else! And even Deb eventually found out that I was right about Mike. They are divorced now! hehe! But I refused to apologize to him because he was in fact acting like an asshole. He acted like an asshole at the time I wrote those blog posts about him to me AND my dogs! Karen was there, she saw and heard it all. If Mike had apologized to me and my dogs, I might have said I was sorry to him, and took those posts about him down. But he didn't. Instead, he started growling at me like an animal, which only proved to me that my instincts about him were correct.

But the point is if I am wrong, I admit it, I take it back, and I don't do the same thing again, and I don't make any excuses why whatever happens, happens. But Onision makes excuses every step of the way, and interrupts people who talk to him, and he tries to justify his actions by making up lies, like the Vidcom thing. I get so frustrated watching his videos, and he is expecting a child! I can only hope that his present wife will have the good sense to take her child and leave Onision. I pray she does. Hopefully she will watch some of these videos that expose Onision. But more likely she won't. Her child will probably be 7 years old before she finally gets the message. By that time, Onision will have a much bigger impact on that child's behavior than would be acceptable. Pray for that child! That's all I can say.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Seattle Pets?

Ya know I look through the classified ads every now and then at the pet section. Don't ask me why, I am currently not in the market for a pet. My partner will be coming here soon, and we are going to be moving to another rental. I already have 2 dogs, and though I do get easily tempted to get another one, I know if I do get one, it will be impossible to find a rental home that will allow me to keep all of them. So I'd better hold off until we can buy a house before I go and get anymore pets. Sometimes when I look through the classifieds, I see ads from Seattle Pets. They are not really in Seattle, they are located in Shoreline, and I know who the owner is, a woman named Maggie Hill. She breeds poms. As far as I know, she doesn't show them, and I don't think her dogs are even AKC registered. Not sure though. But when I visited her back in 2001, she didn't have any Pomeranians that I thought were very attractive.

She was also not very knowledgeable back then. She had a lavender and white parti pom and she didn't know how to breed to produce puppies with that color. So she was breeding for color more than quality. Anyways, I do NOT like Maggie!! She was a very pushy person! I kinda wonder if she still is? Well, she now sells her puppies through this dumb shop that she opened, no longer out of her house anymore. And she only sells by appointment only. Now, you have to meet her at that shop, and you are totally obligated to buy the puppy you are going there to see. That much, I do know about Maggie. How? From personal experience. My sis and I answered an ad she put in the paper back in 2001 for Pomeranian puppies. Maggie told us back then that she had a black and white baby that was marked like a border collie. We both thought that would be interesting to see. Maggie also claimed she had a wolf sable pom, the kind that look like miniature keeshonds. We decided to go and have a look. But we had other appointments to look at other pups, and wanted to go to those first. When I am in the market for a puppy, I like to shop around. I don't like taking the first puppy that I see. This is also why I prefer to answer ads that have pics in them, then I can at least see before I go there what their pups look like. THEN I go and meet the breeder and the puppies to make my final decision. If I don't find a puppy that suits me perfectly, I leave.

Well, during one of our appointments, my sis and I saw a black and tan pom at another breeder's that we thought was just gorgeous!!! But it was already sold to someone else. My sis said that was what she wanted, was a black and tan Pomeranian. I knew Maggie bred poms and she was on our list of breeders to visit that day. So, we were going there and if she didn't have any black and tan poms, I figured maybe she would know someone who did. She sounded like a legitimate breeder before we got there and met her. She told us that she works with a group of breeder friends, so I figured she would know of someone who had black and tan poms like my sis wants. So, when we got there, we met Maggie, she seemed like a nice person at first. She showed us her Pomeranians, and she had some litters on the ground. Back in those days, she bred these dogs and sold them in her garage. I didn't know anything back then about puppymills, backyard breeders, and dog brokers. We looked at her poms, and noticed a lot of them had long noses, more like shelties, than poms. She showed my sis the black and white baby she had for sale, and cute as he was, he was not what she was looking for. Maggie asked her if she likes that puppy, and my sis said yes. So Maggie said "Good." and she made out like we wanted to buy him. I told my sis to think about it. We still had other pups to look at.

I saw what Maggie called a "wolf sable" pom, and it was not a wolf-sable. It was actually an orange sable. It had the beginnings of orange highlights on it's body. It was obvious Maggie did not know what she was doing. Surprising, since she told me she had been breeding poms for 25 years at that time. I wouldn't say Maggie's poms were ugly, but they did not look like purebred poms. Most of them looked like pom/sheltie crosses. Anyways, I asked Maggie if one of her associates had a black and tan Pomeranian available, and she took down our name and phone number and told us she might know someone who will have one soon. I told her if she ever does find someone who would have one to let us know, because that was what my sis wanted. So, Maggie did say OK, and she would call us when she found out for sure. Funny thing about visiting Maggie, she seemed to push us out of her garage as we were leaving, and she was in quite a hurry to slam the door on us after we were out. My sis and I barely got a chance to thank her and say good bye. But we didn't think anything of it then. I just figured she was just busy and had to get back to what she was doing.

For 2 or 3 months, we didn't hear from Maggie, and then one morning she called us and left a message on our answering machine. Incidentally, this was the morning my sis and I planned to have a yard sale. We were finishing off selling all of the things that belonged to my grandma, who had just passed away at that time. So, I told my sis we would call Maggie back when the sale was over. I had a hard day myself. I had to drive downtown to take 2 of my dogs to the vet. It was one of those freebie vet clinics, so you had to wait in line to be seen. Luckily it wasn't an emergency, but I was there waiting for 4 hours! Romeo had a cough and Bambi was pregnant, and I just wanted to make sure she was OK. Well, we eventually got seen by someone, Romeo got some cough syrup for dogs, and Bambi was checked out and she was fine. I figured I would get back home in time to help my sis close the yard sale. Then afterwards, we would call Maggie back and go see this little black and tan Pomeranian that she said was available to see if we like it enough to bring home.

When I got home, my sis had already begun to close the yard sale, and so I went and helped her finish. We both had a hard day. but we sold a lot of stuff and made over $100! I figured that was just enough to help us get that puppy, so we were quite excited when we called Maggie back. Since this was my sis' puppy, I let her call Maggie. My sis was on the phone with her and all I really heard was her talking. She told Maggie who she was, but seemed to not mention that Maggie had called us that morning and left a message on our machine about the black and tan pom. Well, as their conversation drew on, I began to notice a little tension in my sister's voice. It showed up on her face too. I could actually almost hear Maggie screaming and shouting on the other side of the line. I had no idea what that was all about. I started asking my sister "What's going on?" She asked Maggie if she would hold for a minute and I actually heard Maggie say "NO! I won't hold for a minute!" And then I heard Maggie just yelling and screaming on and on and on. I was listening and a bit perplexed. I told my sis to ask Maggie why she called us that morning, and Maggie would not let my sister get a word in at all. Her mouth was going so fast and so loud, I don't think my sis could have gotten a word in there with a crowbar! Next thing I know Maggie hung up on my sis.

I asked my sis what happened. She told me that Maggie was upset that we came to her house and saw her dogs. She told me that Maggie said "Its rude to go to someone's house just to look at their dogs!" I said "Then what's the point in putting an ad out?" Then she told me that Maggie said to her "Don't you come to my house again unless you have money in your hands!" and hung up on her. That made me angry! I said, "OK, that's the last business we are ever going to have with little miss Maggie Hill!" and we went back to our friend Mae, who bred much better looking Pomeranians than Maggie had! Mae was the sweetest breeder I've ever met and she had true wolf sable poms. She was one of few breeders I knew of that bred for both color AND quality. Every one of her poms looked like poms, whereas Maggie had only a few dogs that actually looked like poms. All the rest looked like they were half sheltie.

I was not through with Maggie though. I wrote her a scathing e-mail, cussing her out just like she cussed my sister out. She needed to learn a lesson in decency, and this was the only way to do it. When I wrote that email, I reminded Maggie that first off, SHE called  US, we did not call her! So if anyone was being rude, it was HER! I told her that she's got a lot of nerve for someone who is breeding some of the worst looking Pomeranians I've ever seen. I told her maybe we did have the money to get that puppy, but we are sure as hell not going to give it to her! Not after this little asinine stunt she pulled. I ended the email telling her to fuck off and NEVER call us again! EVER! Well, the next thing I know, I got another message on my answering machine from someone named Terry. It was funny! Terry was claiming she was with the Lakewood police department. LOL!!! I laughed when I got that message, because I knew what it was about, and I knew that Maggie put one of her dumb friends up to doing that just to scare me. But I was not scared, not even for the slightest second. Because what police man is going to care what I say to a stupid puppymilling old crone like Maggie?!

Maggie refuses to admit it, but she is indeed a puppymiller. Also a dog broker. If I had known back then what I do now about ethical breeding, I never would have gone to Maggie at all. So one word of caution for anyone in the Seattle/Tacoma area; BEWARE OF SEATTLE PETS! AND DON'T TALK TO MAGGIE HILL!!! She's fucking crazy! She obligates people to buy puppies from her. And if you don't buy from her, she'll cuss you out to no end! Do the smart thing and shop around!! Don't let ANYONE push you into buying a pet from them!

Now, the dirty dozen (most likely Mcgillicutty/Sara) is going to foreword this to Maggie. I say go ahead!! My only concern is to any potential victims of Maggie's. I want Maggie to remember this! Maybe she'll think twice before acting like an asshole to someone else! You mess with my family, you get kicked in the butt. And I am not, and never will be, sorry. So, call the police, call your dime store lawyer, call Judge Judy! I don't care.