Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Wednesday, December 31, 2014

The Lord Provides

Yesterday I went to the pier here in Astoria to make a film of the sea lions. I've always wanted to do that. Ever since I got here and discovered that they were there. I went to Safeway, which is where I usually went to take the path to view them, and walked to the pier. I was going to do a walk-talk type video, but it was so cold out, my lips froze and I didn't feel very much like talking. But I did some talking and a lot of walking to get to that pier. But I was COLD!! I never wear a coat! Stubborn I guess. So, I was FREEZING!!! But that video was worth it. Those sea lions were so cool!! I put the video up on YouTube.

Well, I walked back to the van, and I headed back to my apartment. My work there was done, and I was anxious to get home and edit the video and put it up on YouTube. There is a round-about between the city center and my apartment, and while I was on that round-about, I heard a loud hissing sound followed by a series of clanks. My tire had finally deflated! It has been trying to go out for the past month, and it finally did. I was grateful now, but also worried. The nearest place I could stop was this little real estate office near the round-about. The secretary at the real estate office helped me out by looking up numbers for me. First I called the Les Schwab tire center. I figured they could send someone out to get the tire, fix it, inflate it, and I could at least get home, and to the tire center the next day, which was today. Well, I called them and to come out there and get the tire would have costed me $45. So I didn't have that much money on me yesterday so I had to forget it until today, when I would get paid.

I asked the secretary if she knew if the bus goes down to highway 202, which is where my apartment is. She told me I could call the bus station and ask, so she looked up the number and gave it to me and allowed me to use the phone in their office. I got the dial-a-ride, which is actually a new up and coming thing in this town. Well, the operator at the bus station said that the dial a ride does not service my area. I told her flat out "That sucks!! That really SUCKS!!" She apologized. I said "May I make a suggestion that you get buses into that area because we really need it there." She said she will definitely put in a note to have the dial-a-ride service my area. I hope it happens soon!! But at least I gave them my feelings about that.

So the only thing left was to call a taxi. I asked the secretary of the real estate office if she knew which taxi is the least expensive, and she referred me to Royal Cab. So I called them. I asked the secretary if it was OK if I left the van in their parking lot overnight, and I should be back the next day. She said yes it was OK. So I took some things I needed out of the van and as I was finishing up in the van, the cab arrived. The driver was so nice, she adjusted the price to help me out. I had told her about my ordeal and how frustrating everything about it was. I told the driver I may need her services again the next day. So she said for me to give her a call and she would figure something out to help me out.

Well, this morning I did get paid, thank GOD! So I was able to get some tires. I made up my mind that I was just going to get tires for the front of the van. I called the cab company again, and told them I needed a ride from my place to Les Schwab tire dealers. Well apparently the dispatcher misunderstood me and sent the driver to Les Schwab to pick me up, so he went there first and looked for me and did not see me there. Well, I called them back, remembering that I had not given them my full address. So I did that. The driver was happy that I did, because he told me he had been sent by the dispatcher to Les Schwab. He was so nice about it though.

The driver told me about the tire dealers his company uses, he said they could give me a good deal, and asked me if instead I wanted to go there and I said yes. So he took me there and gave me a huge discount. I was so grateful. So far, I'd only spent $10 today. So, let's see what kind of deal the tire place could give me. I went in and spoke to one of the tellers and told him what kind of car I have. He said that to go out there would again cost me $45. He looked up tires they had that would fit my car. He said there were 3 sizes for my car and pretty much all of them are in the same price range, no less than $95, plus installation. So, I was looking already at about $250 at least. That was a LOT of money! And I haven't even paid my rent yet this month! I'm still waiting to hear from Noah. I told the cashiers there what my situation was. I told them I needed to have this done, that I don't have any choice. If I don't have the van, I'm pretty much stuck out here, with no buses or dial-a-ride.

So they disappeared for a while. I was practically in tears sitting there in the waiting room, wondering what in the heck I am going to do. I had prayed to GOD saying that I am putting this in HIS hands, and the manager came back and he said "So my worker tells me that you need 2 tires and you have no money?" I told him I do have money, but that I couldn't pay them $250+ and still pay my rent. So he said "What if I offered you everything, including the service call, tires and installation, for only $150. Do we have a deal?" And I said "Yes!" I couldn't pass that up. My prayer was answered. I've always believed GOD answers our prayers, whether we like HIS answers or not, they are answered. But we cannot ask HIM for a favor and think "If you don't do this for me, I'll not ever believe in you again." Can't have that attitude. And if you ask HIM what is HE doing for starving children, HE won't give you an answer. Simple as that. Something good always comes out of everything that happens.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

My Legacy

Boy! It's been a tough 2 months!! I thought I would never make it but I did. I am so glad I finally found a place to stay. It's not the greatest, but it'll do for now. I'm making it a little homier. I got all my INXS pics up in my room, so it feels more like home now. I don't have a pet yet, and probably won't get one while I am here. I am only going to be staying here for a year. But getting here is what I am here to discuss today. It was a rough 2 months. Occasionally I stayed in hotels, usually only when it was going to be freezing cold outside. Much as I was grateful I had the van, and thanked GOD for it every day, it still got cold when it was freezing out.

Well, this will be the last state I move to. I've lived in 4 different states now in my lifetime, and this is going to be the last one. I'm never leaving Oregon!! Not even to go back to Washington. I already feel right at home here. Over the past weeks, I have gotten to know it here pretty good. It's always rough though getting used to a different state, which is why I never want to move away from here. But one good thing about this place, I don't have to pay any sales tax when I make a purchase. It's always the sales tax that gets me on everything. And a year from now, I can move to Coos Bay, where I really want to be at.

Well, as you all know, I've had to leave my booby with Donna, my former roommate. I know he's being taken care of, no doubt in my mind about that. But now my ma wants me to let Donna keep him, and I said no way! I want him to stay in the family. But I cannot have him back. I want to stay on the coast, and because of an accident Vegas had when he was little, the moisture here does not agree with him. He gets shoulder pains. So, he has to stay where it's dry. So I am letting my sis have him. It hurts me deeply to have to give him up, but at least he is still in the family. And I am doing it for his own good. I thought about that until I was in tears! I've been clingy to every dog I've met on this quest because I miss my own.

One day, I was in Astoria walking around, and I met this woman who was walking her parent's maltese dog. She let me pet the dog, and when I was done and went back into the car, I started crying because I miss my babies so much! I wish I could have Vegas back! I miss him like everything, but for his own good and well-being, I just can't. I don't want him to suffer those shoulder pains again, and he never did when we were in Bozeman. So, I'm letting my sis keep him. My ma said that Donna is getting so attached to him, and I said I understand that, but I still want him to stay IN the family! What happens if Donna passes away? Or if for some reason ma and John loses touch with her? Then what becomes of my baby? No, I cannot let Donna keep him. I have to let my sis have him for my own peace of mind.

Well, there have been times I've been grateful I didn't have him with me for the past 2 months living in the van. I wouldn't have been able to stay at the hotel I was staying at if I'd had him. He would have gotten too cold in there. The only thing that kept me going all that time was the inspiration that INXS gave me. I love these guys! And as bad off as Michael was, he still sang so beautiful and strong! I love him for it too! He was my biggest inspiration through this whole ordeal. It was these guys that kept me going. Well, as apartments go, I didn't get the ultimate winner, but I got what I consider a pretty good one. I like it so far. All I need now is a bed and an easy chair, which I will get next month. Little bit at a time. Right now for a bed, I am using the mattress toppers I slept on when I was living in the van. It's still quite comfortable. The only problem is it's so close to the floor, and for someone my age, it's difficult to get up off the floor. Well, I have a solution to that problem too. I moved my coffee table in here. I use that to pull myself up. I also have some of my favorite pics spread out on it too. Better than spreading them out on the floor!

I'm so glad now I have an apartment, I got sick of going to sleep every night terrified that I would be kicked out of the parking lot again, and fined $700! Well, the other day, all that missed sleep caught up with me, and I slept from 2:30 in the afternoon all the way until after 6. I was exhausted! And grateful! The only thing wrong with this place so far, is that steep staircase, and no elevators. But I am getting better at climbing the stairs. Just hurts my legs if I do it too many times. I'm telling you all, this staircase is STEEP!!! But I am glad to be into a place, I thought for a while I wasn't going to make it. But I did! Thank GOD!! I did not want to move back to Reno! I'm not saying Reno was all bad, I just don't like Nevada! It's a greedy state!

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

So Sorry Garry Beers

Garry Beers, I've met the man, I love him, I think he's a wonderful bass player. He was a wonderful, decent man when I met him. He was always very friendly to me and I met him 3 times. Never a problem with him at all. And I am nothing to look at! Here's the pic I had taken with him in LA back in 2005 during the Rockstar taping...

LOL! It was his shirt that attracted me to him that night. It made me laugh from the first minute he stepped out onto the stage. The big, fat balloon he's holding is me. Honestly, I didn't think I would like him. But I did. I shined right up to him. Believe me, if I thought there was something nearly as bad about him as what his daughter says about him, I never would have approached him that night. I'm a pretty good judge of character, and I did not see a narcissistic, manipulative man with Peter Pan Syndrome, whatever the fuck that is! He's just a likable guy.

I was never the type that went to a taping of Rockstar saying "When we get there, I am going to meet these guys and they are going to become my best friends". Nor did I think "I'm going to like this guy when I meet him, but not this guy". That's not the kind of person I am. I went there with my mind open and blank. Kindof like I had a clean slate in my head for each of the guys with their name on each one. They were the ones who wrote on each of those slates the kind of person they are by their actions. You can tell a lot about a person by their initial reaction to you. Especially to someone like me. I just blurted out to Garry "I LOVE your shirt!" He knew what I meant I think. But that's how I am. I say whatever comes to my mind. I got a smile from him when I said that, and a wink. LOL! I've loved him ever since! Been a growing fan of his! Every time I think about that meeting now, I giggle, and remember why Garry is now one of my most favorite band members of INXS.

But his daughter Lucy-Mae has said some awful things about him. She basically implied he's a bad father, that he abandoned her and her sis when they were little. She said she's lucky to even get a birthday email from him. She said he only writes to her a dozen times a year now, if that many, and that his letters to her are short and end with "I am your father". She calls him narcissistic, manipulative, implies he doesn't care about the family he left behind to marry a woman who waited for them outside their gigs every night. Well, Garry caught wind of what she was saying about him, and he is deeply hurt by the accusations. And I am heartbroken that Garry is deeply hurt!! I feel bad this is going on between him and his daughter. I don't want him to be hurt by this. At the end of the day, Lucy-Mae is only 22. She isn't completely mature on her view of the world yet. And no doubt her mom has hammered these ideas into her head for most of those 22 years. Seems her mom is the manipulator, and bitter because she and Garry are divorced. Sad as that is, sometimes even grown women can act like asses to their ex-husbands.

Even after Garry spilled his heart and soul out to his daughter over what she said, Lucy-Mae still maintains Garry was a bad father. But the man I saw did not seem narcissistic at all. He seemed to be a very kind, courteous, down-to-earth kind of man. And I will forever believe that is really the kind of person he is. Because that is all I saw. Well, I am sending hugs to Garry, and praying this never gets him down. If it's any consolation at all to him, I still think he's the greatest!! I still love him and I always will.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Hurricane A-Comin'!!!

Tillamook County has a hurricane warning in effect. I was just in Portland this past weekend and I should have stayed there! I knew there was some reason I got this wild urge to go there! I just couldn't help it! I left Astoria after being booted out of that shelter, and got a little bit bored after I ate. So I said why not take a trip to Portland? Lots to do there. And there were a couple of places I wanted to check out, see if they were still there. I found the exotic bird store, so I am going to go there when I am ready to get my birds back. I saw some gorgeous finches, and they have species you can't get anywhere else. And they can order almost any variety you want!! I like that!! Most pet stores today all they carry are the zebra and society finches. While I do like the little chiming peeps zebra finches make, the finches themselves look boring! And society finches are nothing but mongrels! I'd never get them unless I was breeding such species as whydah birds, which I do plan to do in the near future! I would like to have birds for a while instead of dogs. Save the dogs for much later.

Well, last night someone mentioned the high winds and rain, and Tillamook County has a hurricane warning in effect now. I went to the shelter here in Seaside last night and the dorm is now back up again. But now they have bunk beds! UGH!! And there is a girl sleeping above my head, named Tara. She seems like a nice enough girl alright, but she was there the last time I went to that shelter, over a month ago, and she had bronchitis then. Now, she is still here and saying she has a cold! And she's sleeping right over my head!?!?! The last thing I need right now is a damn cold!! I'm within literally hours of finally getting an apartment, and I have to move all my things into that apartment once it gets approved. I don't need illness slowing me down now!! When she crawled into her bunk saying she is coming down with a bad cold, I said "forget this shit! I'm outta here! I don't need a cold!" And I packed up my stuff and got back in my own van and left. I slept in here all night and believe me, I heard the wind and felt it!! It got scary at times, but I am a tough kid!! I smiled right through it. Well how could I not? I had my pics of Michael and Timmy with me. They provided the comfort, along with prayer. Also knowing to stay clear away of any trees or electrical lines. hehehe! I knew I would be OK. I just hope the hurricane does not stop Noah from doing it's inspection of the apartment today. I really need that apartment!!

I am so proud of my favorite INXS guys now! They won the Man of the Year award!! To me, they will always be the men of the year, every year! But more people are becoming INXS fans, thanks to the movie Never Tear Us Apart. I love that! Even people who were not even born when Michael died are becoming fans, learning how great INXS's music really is! How timeless it is, how music like that will never die. That makes me so happy!!! I only wish Michael was around today to be able to accept that award too. This may have been just the boost he needed. Especially after what that dumbass from Oasis said about him!! But I don't see anyone making any good movies about Oasis! Probably never will either! There just isn't anything good to say about Oasis. They do nothing at all but try to copy the Beatles. I, as an artist, don't feel inspired by Oasis. Someone was once inspired by Oasis to do a video, but it isn't a video that makes Oasis look good at all. LOL! I have the video on a collection of funniest videos ever, and it's called Behind The Music That Sucks, and it's about Oasis.

Michael's sister Tina does not seem to like INXS at all. LOL! She implies the guys never treated Michael very good. Well, they should have postponed the tour until Michael could get better. It's really shitty that they didn't. Poor Michael, he didn't want to be on that tour. They should have held off for a year or so, so Michael would have had a chance to get himself together and figure a way to deal with his problems. I feel if maybe they would have done that, it would have helped Michael tremendously and he might still be with us today. I keep trying to imagine what Michael would look like now, at 54 years old, almost 55 now. Would he have curled his hair again, or kept it straight? Curly hair made him look younger. The straight hair made him look older. Surely it would have been gray, if he wouldn't dye it. Or maybe he might have went bald. His father did somewhat. Bald or not, I bet Michael still would have been handsome!

Well, in the last hour I've been sitting here typing this blog, I've seen 5 emergency vehicles pass by at different times. There must be a lot of casualties. I hope no one was killed. We just went through the eye of the storm, and now we are back in the high winds and rain. I have no idea how much longer this will last, we'll just have to wait and see. But I am a tough ol' gal! I've survived through a lot, I can definitely survive this.

Monday, December 8, 2014

This Is Disgusting and DUMB!!!!

I was cruising through the MH fan page I am usually on and there was a picture of Michael with some unusual pants on:

Pretty neat eh? Well, I heard that after Michael died, his younger brother Rhett sold those pants to get money to move to another country to be with some stupid girlfriend he has. One of my buds in the group said that he also sold Michael's glasses with a comment that said "I feel kindof icky wearing a dead guy's glasses." Ya know, I found that comment very disturbing coming from his own brother! If my sister died tomorrow, 10 years from now I would not be selling her things. And even if I did I would not say anything to the effect of "I feel icky wearing a dead woman's clothes"!! If I had to sell them, and I would hope I would not need to, I'd be thinking more about how it'd break my heart to part with her things.

I really fucking hope Rhett was kidding though when he said that! The worst thing anyone can do, especially his own brother, is to think of Michael as just a dead guy. Rhett should be thinking "He's my brother, and I miss him very much. I was so proud of him in his accomplishments, and I love him still very much." But no, Rhett chose to be an asshole about him. He's older than I am and this never crossed his mind??? Maybe that is why I never liked Rhett. I have several friends who are mutual friends with Rhett on Facebook, but I never even asked him. He's not as good looking as Michael. And again, it's Michael I care about, because of his work with INXS, not his family. And I especially don't like Rhett now after reading he said something like this!! Makes me MAD!!!! My grandma has been dead since 2001, I never think of her as being just a dead person. That may be a fact, but it sounds so cold and callous. Like I don't care about her. Grandma has done so much for me and my family, I only see the person that she was. Not simply a dead person.

I just had to rant at length, because reading this made me so furious!! I just cannot believe Rhett would say such a thing. All I can hope is that he was kidding when he said it. Funny thing, when my ma was 11 years old, her grandpa passed away. One thing ma said when she was told was that in a couple days, he's gonna start stinking. That shocked grandma that ma would say a thing like that, because she's always been so close to her grandfather!! But she was only 11!! Rhett is a grown man! I'd expect he'd have known a little bit better than that!!!

Saturday, December 6, 2014

Worst Night Of This Quest!

UGH!! Now I know exactly what it is like to be around radical Christians. I always try to avoid them, especially after seeing the actions by the WBC. But I needed a place to stay for a night the other night. I was fresh out of the hotel, and I wanted to try and find a shelter in Astoria, where I am possibly going to be moving. So I got a list of shelters in the area. The one I normally went to has had their women's dorm down for a month, so I have not been able to go back there. So there was only one listing for a shelter in Astoria. They call it the Hope House, or Rescue Mission. They were indeed nice enough there, but their rules totally SUCK!!! I was only going to be there for a few days, I've never done drugs in my life, never drank booze, never did any of that BS. I don't even smoke cigarettes. I am perfectly pure. I do like to have my INXS pics near me for comfort, but they said that would be OK. They said there would be no problem in that.

Well, one of the rules they had that I did not like, once you are in the home, you cannot leave by yourself. The house attendant had to go with you, like your a helpless baby or something. And they did not have much food there at that home and they would not let me go to the Safeway store to get any. Not even with the attendant. I told the manager that SUCKS!! I didn't care if that offended her! I didn't exactly appreciate having my basic rights taken away!! I asked if they had wifi there and they said yes, but I would not be able to use my own computer for 10 days, and they were also going to take my phone away. When you enter this shelter, they give you a 10 day blackout period. During which, you are not allowed to use any electronics. But the house attendant said I could still keep my pics. But something did not smell right about this house or these rules. I kept getting bad vibes. But I kept trying to ignore them. I said to myself "At least my ma will be happy I am in a shelter." But as I got to know each rule, I slowly began to realize I was not happy there. They control EVERYTHING, when you eat, when you sleep, when you get up, what movies you watch. I could not watch my favorite movie because it's not PG rated (by American standards)!! They control what you eat, what you read. I am a very picky eater. I don't eat just anything placed in front of me. And if I don't like what I see, I'll literally starve myself before I put it in my mouth!! And they were very religious, and it was mandatory that you go to church and participate in bible study every morning and evening. Which I understand. But I had no idea of the level their beliefs go to.

Well yesterday, the head manager came down. Her name is Amy. She's a nice enough person too. But she wanted to see my INXS pics, so I showed them to her. I knew, early on, it was going to lead to me getting kicked out of that place, because they were not religious pics or pics of family. I consider them pics of friends though. LOL!! But Amy started asking me if I've ever lied before. I said "Who hasn't?" I just don't make a habit of it. Sometimes I stretch the truth too, and I tend to color and shade the stories I tell, which I guess by Bible standards is lying. But by my culture standards, southern girls do it all the time. No point in telling a story that just gets you a simple glance from people. No, I'm going to make that person fall back in their chair and say "WOW!! You did that??!!" So I'm going to color my stories a little as I tell them. She asked me if I've ever stolen before and I said NO. Then she was like "Oh come on! You never stole anything, not even as a child from your siblings or something?" I said "Well yeah when I was a kid I stole from my sis all the time, and she always stole from me too." So now, by Bible standards, I am a thief and a liar. Then Amy asked me if I've ever hated anyone, and I told her I always try not to. There are people I don't care for, but I can't say I hate anyone. Which she said is good. She asked me if I've ever murdered anyone, and I said "NO. I never have even killed an animal." So she said if you hate anyone, according to the Bible, you've murdered them in your heart. So, I never murdered anyone. Not even by Bible standards.

Then she asked me if I've ever committed adultery, and I said no. Then she started bringing up INXS, Michael and Timmy. Because I do idolize them, by Bible standards if I even look at them with lust, I've committed adultery. I said to Amy, "But I am not even married! What does it matter?" I always thought you had to be married to commit adultery. I always thought to commit adultery means you love one man, the man you marry, yet you look at another man with lust. That, I always thought, was committing adultery. But apparently you don't have to be married for it to mean adultery. OMG! How is a woman supposed to know which man she wants to be with if she doesn't look at one with lust?? We can't just pick men out of the sky to love and be with forever. We should know we love that man before we say "I want to be with this man forever!" and get to know him and then marry him. But apparently, that is a sin by Bible standards. But what if this man you fell in love with at first sight turns out to be Mr. wrong?? That's a stupid rule!!! Then there was the pics themselves. Apparently it is a sin too to look at pics of men you love with lust. The 10 commandments list it as "Adoring graven images", and it is against Bible standards. Unfortunately all I have of INXS now is pics. So, if I want to see them, that's all I have to look at. And I do want to see them.

Well, after bringing all this mess up, Amy challenged me to put my pics up for one day and think about other things. Well, being in a strange place, without my dogs, and surrounded by strange people, I was not sure I wanted to do that. I told this to Amy, and another manager named Reesa. I had to think about it. Amy told me to think about it, and for Reesa to make the decision. I knew Reesa was not going to let me think about it much at all. She's young and eager, and she wanted the answer right away, and she wanted an answer that coincided with Bible standards. Well, she had a 2 year old boy that I didn't exactly like having at that house!! I don't like kids that young. But I didn't say she shouldn't bring him around! It's not for me to say. That's common decency. So I did not exactly appreciate somebody telling me I had to have my pics put away! Even just for one day! I don't go to a shelter to have my basic rights taken away! I go to a shelter to have a place to sleep besides the van. Of course for the first 3 nights, they make you sleep on the sofa, not on a bed. And the sofa I was on was more uncomfortable than the sofa I had to sit on at Donna's. The edge of the sofa jutted up into my ass at night, and my ass hurt the next morning! Not to mention, the other girl in the house was a former transvestite and drug addict. She kept talking, yelling and whining all night. I didn't get hardly any sleep that night.

Well, after a while of me contemplating what to do, Reesa came and told me that my keeping my pictures is committing adultery and idolizing the men of INXS, so she said I had to leave the house! I did not put up a fuss at all!! By this time, I welcomed being pushed out! Yes, I would rather sleep in my van than have my INXS guys taken out of my sight! The van is still quite comfortable! I'm glad too. I was so glad to leave there and see the light of day again!!! And that was the WORST damn shelter I've been in yet!!! Well, this weekend I am here in Portland. Going to see if there is a decent shelter here that does not have such strict rules. But that was as close as I ever want to be again to a radical Christian group!!! I'd never go back there, even if they invited me!

Tuesday, December 2, 2014

INXS Movie Criticism

I once came across an article that spoke of all the things wrong with the latest INXS movie, Never Tear Us Apart. Personally I loved the movie. I don't care if it portrayed Michael in such a negative fashion. I'm guessing most of it may be true. Well of course I know some things were put in there just for the sake of the movie. I mean, I have a few stories that I wrote based on actual events that happened in my life. But they are not 100% accurate. Some scenes I put in each story just to make the story more interesting. Well, I don't really remember where I saw this article, but I do remember some of the things it said was wrong with the movie.

First of all, is one I agree with. I think some of the people they picked to cast as the band members did not look anything like the real things. For example, the guy they picked to play Garry, name is Hugh Sheridan, he looks nothing at all like Garry. They did great in making Luke Arnold look like Michael, but they should have looked harder for someone to play Garry. See for yourself...

Hugh Sheridan
Garry Beers
Personally I don't think they look anything alike. The producers should have looked a little bit longer for this one. Plus, his voice is too deep for Garry. If only the guy who played Andrew had his voice and the guy who played Garry could have exchanged voices with the guy who played Andrew, the movie might have been a perfect replica of INXS. Actually I think Hugh Sheridan would have made a better version of Jon.

Well, another thing the person said in the article, Luke Arnold, as Michael, slept too much in the movie. Yes, he slept some, but not TOO much! This guy said the movie portrayed Michael to be a narcoleptic. Maybe that's how it all happened? When you are trying to get a story across, you're not thinking about whether it has a certain character sleeping too much. You just want to tell the story. Another problem I have about this gripe is that if Luke Arnold had been the opposite, like the movie never showed Michael sleeping at all, then the person who wrote this article would have griped that the movie was portraying Michael like he was constantly high on caffeine, or some kind of narcotics. The guy who wrote the article said that they should have shown Michael having a lot of sex. Well, that would have been inaccurate too. According to Tina Hutchence, who is Michael's sister, Michael hardly ever slept around with strange women. He talked to Helena for several months before they met and fell in love.

In truth, Michael was so complex, if this movie had been 100% accurate and told everything, the movie would have been 24 hours long. Of course they could break that all up in more than 2 episodes. But I guess they did not want to have more than 2 episodes that were 2 hours long. I love the movie. Some fans are opposed to it, but I love it! So far, it's the only INXS movie I've seen, although I have heard there are 2 more in the works. Shows how very fascinating the life of these guys was! And people used to make fun of me because I still love INXS. Of course they were the damn show breeders on the Pluba forums! Who cares what they think!!?? I love INXS! Always did, always will. Even when I take breaks from the band, I still count myself as being an INXS fan. Nothing will ever make me otherwise. I love these guys, I love their songs, that makes me a true fan. Sometimes I do get frustrated with them. But no matter what, I still love them!

I love this movie, I cannot wait to see the next 2 movies that come out about INXS. Richard Lowenstein is supposed to have his version coming out next year. I hope it airs in the USA. I cannot wait to see it. His should be very interesting! He's known the band inside and out for years. So, his version should be really good!!

Sunday, November 30, 2014

Michael's Month

From now on, I am declaring November Michael's month. LOL! No more Thanksgiving, no more nothing. Well, my father being a retired veteran, I have to celebrate Veteran's Day. Well, it is almost over, and I did good in remembering Michael. Had some fun on the 22nd. I love that man so much, and miss him more than anything! I celebrated his life and did good! I always feel when a person passes on we celebrate each year on the anniversary of their passing, it's a way of celebrating all their accomplishments in life. I feel it's more important than celebrating their birthday. When a person is born, they haven't accomplished much more than being born. While that is something to celebrate, they have done nothing in their lives at the time of their birth. But someone who has lived as long as Michael did, though 37 years does not sound like a lot, he accomplished more in those 37 years than a lot of people have in twice that many years. It's not celebrating the dead. It's celebrating that person's life. And not just their birth, but also the many accomplishments that person made in their lives.

Michael will never know how many peoples' lives he has moved. He moved mine. From the first moment I saw him on a video, my life has never been the same. I haven't had as many feelings for any rock group as I have for INXS. They have brought out happiness in me, as well as sadness, joy, even frustration. LOL! No other group in the history of rock n roll has ever made me feel the way INXS has. I've never celebrated the lives of any other rock group, or singer, or anything. I've never been so deeply involved in any other rock group. I never had the desire to meet any other rock star or celebrity of any kind at all, as I have to meet INXS. And I love my INXS friends. Also, I have never cried so hard over the loss of any other public figure as I have over Michael Hutchence. I never missed any other public figure as I miss Michael. To me, the loss of any other celebrity has been like eating hot dogs. They come and go so easily. So what?! But losing Michael was total devastation for me. I still cry sometimes just thinking about Michael.

Well, I've wrote several stories based on my feelings about INXS. No other public figure has inspired me that way before. You won't find any stories in my line up that was inspired by Michael Jackson, or Guns n Roses, or Princess Diana. None at all! But I have several stories inspired by Michael Hutchence and INXS. Some are among my favorite stories. Not all mention INXS. In fact, my most favorite story of all was inspired by Michael but he is not mentioned anywhere in the story at all. In an older version, I did have a poster in the background of Michael demonstrating the Lose Your Head Tour of '97. But I got rid of that version. I thought the Michael poster was a bit too much. INXS is just everything to me. I love these guys.

I remember when my puppy died in the early summer of 1998, it was INXS that made me smile again. I lost my pup, and stopped eating for a few days. By the third day, I had gotten rather weak and could barely get out of bed. I needed to eat again to build up my strength, but because I was still sad after losing my puppy, I had no appetite. I needed to forget about the puppy temporarily and start laughing again. The only thing that made me smile like that was INXS. Especially Michael and Timmy. So, that was why I started watching my videos over and over again. Some other good things came out of that, I learned to love the song This Time. Before then, I didn't like that song. Now, I love it, and even have it on my MP3 player. Because of that incident, I call the men of INXS my "heroes". Before the day was over, I was laughing and smiling again, and eating. INXS saved me from basically wasting away. I would have starved myself to death if I hadn't taken heed and seen INXS and started smiling again. That's how I am when I lose a pet I love so much. And I thought that puppy and I would be soulmates forever.

Well, it's been a fun month remembering Michael. I hope to always be able to do this kind of thing. I have a plan for the 20th anniversary of Michael's passing. I am going to sit in front of the camera and read that whole story that I wrote about the night Michael died. It's going to be a LONG video. But I think it will be worth watching from beginning to end. I hope to be thinner by then. I'm sure no one wants to see a big, fat, ugly bitch blubbering around on the camera!! LOL! Although I have not been working on losing weight lately. I've been too busy to make it to any fitness center! I just hope I haven't gained too much back!! LOL! But that's OK. I can work on losing it all again. I did it before. I can definitely do it again. I haven't been eating any more than I did when I was making daily trips to the fitness center, that's for sure.

Thursday, November 27, 2014


Over the past few years I've been on Facebook, I've met several people who claim they were friends of Michael's. Now, I've met the band, including Michael, but I never claimed to be a friend of their's. We never exchanged email addresses, or physical addresses, or phone numbers. All we do is basically say hello to each other when we meet. But that may be partly my fault, I'm not a big talker. Whether half these people are telling the truth about their alleged friendship with Michael, I will never know and it's not for me to say. I have friends who have met Michael and were friends of his, and have shown me pics and personal letters they got from him to prove it. They usually don't tout it all over the internet though. Now I understand why. When Robin Williams died, I told a group of people about how he and my stepfather were friends before he became famous. They made fun of me and almost laughed at me because they didn't believe a word of it. Which is understandable really. It's hard for the average person to believe another almost average person could make friends with such a big-name person as Robin Williams. Or Michael Hutchence for that matter. Well, one of my friends who knew Michael, is also a singer and performer from Japan. She met the band there and became friends of their's.

Well, one person said she was a friend of Michael's, and she was on the ***By My Side Forever*** group. LOL! Apparently she is not on any other group because she said the only mod she trusts is Roberta, the woman from Italy who said I was "trash" because I am not a fan of Princess Diana's and I told her the truth about her going crazy. LOL!! OK, so I'll be "trash". Roberta is loony. That's the woman who goes all over Facebook acting like a cat. I feel sorry for that person who said that she is the only mod she trusts. Very sorry. The By My Side Forever group was no fun. Friend of Michael's or not, it would not stop me from wanting to have fun! That's why I stay on the Michael Hutchence and His Life group. It's fun. The mods are fun, the people are fun. What can I say? I go and stay where the fun is! That's what my life is all about, having fun. I love the pics of INXS that get posted. Though some jackass posted a pic of INXS where the biggest thing in the picture was a fucking leopard! UGH!! I asked what the fuck has a leopard got to do with INXS??? Another person stated she thought it was a tiger. Of course a tiger would not have been any better to look at. I hate panthers of all kinds!! Tigers have no more to do with INXS, except maybe it could represent INXS's extinction. But I don't want to think of INXS going extinct. I love the fact that INXS are gaining new fans because of the movie.

There was one person who was on the MH and his Life group, I don't see her there anymore. I remember one person went to the By My Side group and complained because that person posted photoshopped pics of herself with Michael. I hope this person's feelings were not hurt by that. Though when I first saw one of her works, I have to say it bothered me she did that too. Because I thought they were real, legit pics of her with Michael. Had me fooled! LOL! But it's her way of having fun. Who am I to say someone can't have some harmless fun? She's not plagiarizing other fan's pics. So, no harm in what she's doing. I haven't seen this person on the group in a while, which is why I wonder if her feelings were hurt. I hope not. And I can't say much, I used to fantasize about photoshopping my picture into pics of Timmy. LOL! But since I've had a couple taken with him, I don't need to. I never had one taken with Michael though. For some reason though, that does not bother me. Not at all. I swear to GOD. It's enough for me that I got to kiss him. Don't even need to make peace or come to terms with it. It just never bothered me that I never got a pic taken with Michael. Really. LOL!! OK enough of that speech.

Another thing, people think just because I love and admire Michael, that I must be interested in his daughter Lily. Lily is a beautiful girl, and I am sure she's a nice person, and Michael is up in Heaven feeling very proud of her. But just because I love Michael does not mean I have to be a fan of Lily's. I don't pretend to. It's Michael I love. Not Lily. I don't know her. No reason I should love her or be interested in her in any way. LOL That's also why it did not hurt my feelings at all when Tina deleted me (and many other Hutch fans) from her Facebook friends. I don't care about Michael's family. It's him I was interested in. Not saying they may not be nice people. I'm just saying Michael is the focus of my attention. Not his family.

OK that was sheer honesty. Something I am famous for! LOL! But it's the truth. A lot of people abandoned ship from the MH and His Life group when Roberta started spreading her usual bullshit. Seemed every time I turned around she was saying someone was doing some kind of shit to her personally. What is she? 12 years old? She has to lash out at someone who has the same name as her, or has a better MH fan page than her? I think it's those 3 cats she has. I think they're destroying her brain. One person who I am almost positive that left, is that Marie Gonzales. I'm almost positive she left. She strikes me as being the kind of person who would abandon someone that everyone else turns against. A follower basically. She's a cat fag, in the truest sense of the phrase. Seems I had a run-in with her before. Trying to remember where though, and it was because I don't like cats. I had a run-in with her on this group as well because I don't like cats. That's what a cat-fag is, someone who argues with people who don't like cats. They think everyone has to like cats, like it's mandatory. Gary Beers I heard doesn't like cats. He likes birds. And I LOVE him for it!! I used to not think I would like Gary, but I do. I took to him right away when I met him. It was almost like love at first sight.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Why I Love INXS Videos

Of course by now everyone knows INXS is my most favorite rock group out there. I don't like today's music hardly at all. I've heard a few good songs come out this day and age, but none are by Lady Gaga or Justin Timberlake, or any of today's most popular groups. And I have absolutely NO respect for any bands or singers that got their start on shows like X Factor or American Idol. I am the kind of person who says let bands grow the old fashioned way. The only reason I accepted JD is because of INXS, and they were already a seasoned band before Rockstar aired. Now, JD is all on his own, and I'm thinking "who's JD?" LOL! OK I do think JD is a great singer. And he was a nice guy when I met him. But face it, he had NONE of the sexual appeal Michael had. Michael was perfection.

Well, I was watching a video I got a long time ago on ebay, and it's Full Moon, Dirty Hearts, the Album Visual. I like it. I like that album. It's one of my favorites INXS ever made. And all the guys look good. Even Kirk. But don't ever tell him I said that!! But one thing I notice that is different between videos that INXS have done and other bands. Most other bands. When most other bands do videos, the videos center mostly around the lead singer. The only real time you ever see any other band members participating in the videos is when they are standing there playing their instruments. But in an INXS video, Timmy could be either playing the guitar, or tying Michael up to a chair, or sitting and messing around with a checkerboard. LOL! Either way, in the video he could be doing anything other than just his part in the band. He could also be acting in the video, doing a different part. That is what I love about INXS videos. Their videos give tasks for all the guys, not just Michael acting or singing. Makes them really seem like they are more than just a rock group. Makes them seem a lot like they are a whole band of brothers.

I love all my favorite guys in my favorite band! Well, I am working on Kirk. I mean, I don't hate him. But anyways, I love the guys in their own special way. I love Timmy because he is the best looking band member to me! He definitely has the best buns in the band!! Plus he is a funny guy. He does things in every interview that always makes me laugh!! Kirk is funny too, if nothing else, I gotta hand him that. He has made me laugh on occasion. Michael sings beautifully, and next to Timmy, is also a very handsome member of the band. Or he was. The trouble is Michael is no longer there. But Timmy is. I love Jon too, he's also very handsome! Not to mention when I met him he was a very kind, soulful, gentle man. He was a real pleasure to meet. I love Gary too. I didn't used to, because he was the plain member of the band. He's cute, but he was plain. But after meeting him, I gotta tell you, I took to him right away! There was something about him that I just shined up to instantly. I cannot put my finger on it. And Andrew, of all the band members of INXS, it was him that I loved meeting the most! He was very sweet and gentle. Definitely a big, cuddly teddy bear!! He did seem shy, but I can't say anything about that, as I am a very shy person myself.

I'd have to say, most of the band members of INXS are all very handsome in one way or another. The ugliest member in fact I would have to say is Kirk. Eh! He was OK during the FMDH era, but that's it. Not at any other time. Why I ever counted him as being anywhere near the top of my list of favorite band members I may never again understand!! But oh well! I was younger and stupid.

Ya know, I think Hobofart is back on YouTube, LOL! Except now, instead of attacking juggalos, he's going full time for INXSaries. And instead of calling himself anything like Hoboczarandco, now he calls himself Ficus Benjamina. I don't know. If this isn't him, it sure is someone who sounds exactly like him!! He keeps urging me to go kill myself, which I would never do, I wouldn't give him the satisfaction!! LOL!! Not to mention, he seems to get obsessed with harassing INXS fans. A lot like Hobofart with the juggalos, or like Catsredrum and the other delusional mods. I asked him last time he said I should go kill myself "because I want to", so he said, I asked him if he was Hobofart, because he sure sounded like him. It was the way he worded his sentence, made me think so much of Hobofart, it's not even funny! He has no videos or pics of himself. Of course one thing Hobofart always did that this Ficus Benjamina person hasn't done (yet) is call me fat names. Ya know, that's the difference between INXS fans and fans of other music, or anything else. I have NEVER heard or seen any INXSaries use that level of name-calling. Not even the not-so-friendly ones. Of course, most INXS fans now are over 25 years old. That could be why. But you sure don't see that kind of classiness in other groups of followers. For example, some of the worst people I've ever met were anime fanatics and video gamers. They ALWAYS call fat people names! And a lot of vegans and vegetarians, not all of them, but quite a large number of them always call fat people names. But I have yet to meet any INXSaries that are like that. That's good. Even from not-so-friendly INXS fans. Makes me very happy to be among other INXS fans. But me, I'm kindof the black sheep of INXS fanhood. LOL! Just the way I am!

Saturday, November 22, 2014

The Last Rehearsal

Well, today is Michael's day, the day we celebrate his life. I tell many tales about Michael, this time, I want to tell the truth. I loved that man! I spent many years as an INXS fan. My book reveals all! I am offering it for free to friends again, as a way of celebrating Michael's life. The story it's self has nothing to do with talking about Michael's life. It's all about how I became a fan of INXS and rock music. There is some speculation of my own in the story at the end, when I discuss what I think Michael was thinking the night he died. Of course no one really knows what went through his mind the night he died. All one can do is speculate. I gave my best guess about what I think might have happened. But keep in mind, all it is is a guess. Nothing more. I do not claim to know Michael personally. I am not his medium. All I can give is my personal guess. But I won't give the story away here.

I've also been hearing about insensitive people who have been posting vulgar pics of themselves making fun of Michael. I even heard today that Family Guy character, Stewie made fun of Michael by putting a belt around his neck and pretending to hang himself, and there was reference to Michael in that episode. What gives with that?? Why make fun of someone's misfortune??? I wish Michael had never done what he done! I wish that he was still here today. Because people are now associating suicide by hanging with Michael, even to the point of making fun of something like that. Now, I never liked Family Guy! Ever! I watched it once, and the first 5 minutes was too much for me! I thought the display of humor in that show was in very poor taste! I don't give a shit if it is meant to be just a comedy!! There are places the creators should draw the line!! Making a mockery of something as serious as depression and suicide should represent those boundaries that should never be crossed. Both these things are serious things!!

Well, today is his day, and unlike the day he was found dead in a hotel room in Sydney, it is dark and rainy. I've even seen some thunder and lightening. Almost as if Michael is saying to me "Yoo-hoo!! Here I am!!!" Well, I sees ya baby!! First thing I did when I opened my eyes this morning was to give him 54 big kisses. One for each year he would have been here. I could have given him 17, one for each year he's been gone, but I love him so much!! I'd choose kissing him more if I could! Plus I gave him a bonus smootch because I miss him so much! And for the past 10 years that I haven't thought much of him. I have to make up for that! I won't feel like a complete INXS fan without that! OK, everyone has their own ideas about what makes an INXS fan a "good" fan. Well, that's my own idea!

The most maddening thing about Michael being gone is his biggest fear came true. His own sister said Michael would have hated for Bob Geldof to get his baby girl, Lily. Several band members of INXS confirmed Michael had that fear too. Well guess what Michael! Bob got her!! Paula was unstable, but Michael thought she was Mother Teresa!! I guess he thought she would stick around and take care of Lily. If he could have only seen Paula for what she really was; a jackass, he maybe would not have done what he did. And Bob Geldof would not even let Michael's mother and sister see Lily. According to Tina, all Michael's mother wanted on her death bed was to see Lily one last time. I shook my head when she said that Bob said no. Doesn't surprise me at all!! Well, Bob got what he deserved for that!! He lost his own daughter this past year! That's the ultimate curse on him! And if he doesn't make peace with the remaining members of Michael's family, including INXS, Bob will continue to be cursed!! I just want him to know that!! That is why I predict his "Band Aid" deal will flop. Because he is cursed! You can't piss off an angel like Michael and expect to get off the hook that easily!!

Well anyway, here is what the title of this blog post refers to. This video was taken the day before Michael died. Its his last rehearsal, shot at ABC Studios in Sydney on November 21, 1997. Watching him on here brings tears to my eyes, because he actually looks so happy. Though there is one part of the rehearsal that is not in this video. But I have seen it. It's where Michael and Timmy have an exchange of angry words. It's almost funny because Michael storms off his chair shouting at Timmy, "Alright!! Whatever!!!" like an angry teenager. Then he gets right up in the camera and says "for Heaven's SAKE!!!!" LOL!! Its funny, but also sad at the same time, because for years Timmy couldn't shake off that he never got to reconcile with Michael. But Timmy is not at fault for what happened to Michael. It was Paula and Bob's doings completely!! Anyway, here's the video of the rehearsal:


Tuesday, November 18, 2014

RIP Dennis Farriss

Such sad news I've gotten tonight about Dennis Farriss, who is the father of Timmy, Jon and Andrew Farriss of INXS. I opened up my Facebook and the first thing I saw in my feed was someone who said "Such sad news tonight about Tim", and, believing I knew what was going to come next, I damn nearly had a heart attack and fell off this bed!! It was the way that person worded her announcement. It nearly scared me to death!! I thought she was going to say something terrible happened to my Timmy! I almost started crying!! I had tears already forming in my eyes! Then I read further in her sentence. I was relieved to learn nothing happened to my Timmy, but very sad to hear that his father has passed away. I still feel terrible. I can only imagine how Timmy, Andrew and Jon are now feeling. I want to take this opportunity to send my condolences to the three of them and their sister.

I always thank GOD that my parents are still alive and kicking. I know several people who are my age, or close to my age, whose parents are both dead. It's terrible. I cannot say I know how those people feel, but it must be terrible. Tim, Jon and Andrew are also very lucky they got to enjoy the company of their father this long as well. That's a good thing. May he rest in peace in Heaven now. And to his family left behind, Remember the good times you had with him. That's all I can say. Love you guys! My heart and my prayers are with you all.

Gee, and this is all happening so close to when the anniversary of Michael's death is about to happen. I can only imagine how these guys feel today. I want to send hugs to my favorite guys. Wish I could offer more comfort than that.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Favorite Hutch Pics

This is going to be a picture post. But I have some favorite pics of Michael Hutchence that I've collected over the past few months. I have come to love this man again SOOOOOOOO much!!! I call myself a "born again" Hutch fan. LOL! Between 2000 and this year, I didn't think much of Michael at all. Between 2005 to this year, I was all a Timmy fan. Did not give much pause to Michael at all. Well, this season I am making up for it. I've even began kissing his pics again. LOL! Of course it's not really like kissing the real thing, but it's second best. Of course I still get weak in the knees looking at Timmy too. I still LOVE him to death!!! I am forever hopelessly devoted to Timmy. I'll always be a Timmy fan. But I feel I have to make up for those years lost that I ignored Michael.

Anyways, here are the favorite pics of Michael...

1985 or 86. Love those eyes!!!

Take this one to bed with me every night!

Uh!! Makes me feel hot and tingly, even on the coldest nights!

Sexy eyes and beautiful smile!

Hot baby at the beach!!

Sexy posing baby!!

Very quickly becoming my most favorite pic of Michael ever!!

I remember that smile! Nice and big, lights up the room, makes you feel good!
In other interesting news, the saga from yesterday continues. I was kicked out of the group "Michael Hutchence By My Side". The admin of that group said she was "getting rid of the garbage". She did get miffed because I said that I did not cry when Princess Diana died. Well, she was nothing to me. I was never a fan of her's. She died some months before Michael died, and to me her death was nothing more than an annoyance. Mostly because every one of my TV shows that I used to watch were cut off to report about Princess Diana and showing her funeral and shit. That pissed me off more than anything back then. But I'll tell you, I cried plenty later that year when Michael died. Before Michael, I always used to just say "They're just celebrities, no different than anyone else. They just get their name in the news more often." So it was a big "Who cares" to me when one of them dies. But Michael was something bigger to me. I loved that man. I kissed him (in real life, not just pics). He was once my idol. His death was a huge shocker to me!!!

Well, I also had to tell this admin that she was getting crazy with the posts about the other group, and she said "I'm not crazy!" I was like, "you're acting like it!" She was obsessed! So she deleted me from the group and even from her Facebook friends. But somehow I am not too disappointed. I don't really need her! And her group is not certified by INXS. She has a logo someone made saying it is an INXS Certified fan page, but it's like those images you get off Google. The group doesn't have the blue tick by the title, like INXS's official fan page does. Well, at least I stood up for what I believe was right. I've lost friends before over things like that, so this is not an unusual case. If I have a problem with the way someone is acting, I'm going to tell them to their face! I hide NOTHING!!! And I'm not going to say I wept for Diana, when I didn't. I'm not going to pretend to be a fan of her's, when I wasn't. That's just me. I cannot help it, I can't control it. Michael and Timmy make my heart flutter. Princess Diana did nothing for me.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

More INXS Negativity (oh GEEZUS!!!)

Oh GAWD, I've already been through shit like this!! I don't need to go through it again!! Why the fuck do some people feel they need to tear other people down just to bring themselves up?? Yes, I may tear other people down myself, but I don't do it to make myself look better. I do it to get the truth out there. Well, I have this friend who has a group she says is INXS Certified. This friend, I gotta tell you, she scares me sometimes. She's a little too nutty. Every time someone posts a picture of a cat, she always goes "MIAUUUUUUUUUUUU". I used to face that with weird-ass kids in high school! LOL! I love lemurs, you don't see me going around facebook making lemur sounds at pictures of lemurs. I like dogs. I don't go "RAWRAWRAWR" at every dog picture I see. So, it's kinda really weird this friend always goes "MIAUUUUUUUU" every time she sees a cat! But then again, she has 3 cats, she says she cannot live without. I think sadly, the cats have damaged her brain though. I like this person, but sometimes she scares the hell out of me with her behavior.

Now, she is attacking another group of INXS fans that I am on, and that I really enjoy. I wasn't going to choose sides, as I like both groups. But the people on the other group are really upset about being attacked unjustly. I know exactly how they feel! Catsredrum and her friends did the exact same shit to me on their forum. For more or less the same reason this friend is attacking the other group I am on. She's scared. Scared of the other group's success. Well, Catsredrum was scared more for DonnaG than herself. LOL!! Because I was revealing the truth about her, and it scared her. She didn't want to confront me herself, so she got her dumbass friends to do her fighting for her, like she always does. Well, this friend keeps bringing up "This is a CERTIFIED INXS fan page". I don't know why she keeps using that as leverage. I don't care about that!! I go where the fun is, and it happens to be more in the other INXS fan page. And another friend of mine brought up this morning that if her page really is certified, she should have a blue checkmark by the title, and it would read "Certified Page". She doesn't. And those are not easy to get.

Another person, who was once in the other group but quit because of this friend's accusations, said the people in there were mental. What's up with that??!! She griped because one of them likes to take pictures of Michael and Photoshop herself into the pictures. Now, I admit at first I didn't go much for that either, because I thought they were real pics of her with Michael. But for her, it's just a little harmless, humorous fun. I can't object to that! So to that person, who says we're all mental because of that, I say shut the fuck up, get over it and have some fun in your life! GEEZ!!!! I didn't want to choose sides before, but this got out of hand!! I'm worried for these people. Do they think this is how INXS and Michael would want their fans to be acting towards each other??? Michael's favorite slogan was "Peace and Love". Let's live by that now! This friend said the fans in the other group are saying Michael was a mental patient. They are blaming the other group because Michael's sister on Facebook, Christina Hutchence, deleted a majority of her facebook friends. All but a few.

I want to say first off, I have been on the other group for months now. I've never seen anyone call Michael a mental patient. We were just as concerned with what happened to Michael as everyone else. I don't really understand where that accusation came from. As for Christina Hutchence, relax man! I don't think it was one group's fault she deleted a lot of fans from her Facebook friends. She probably just wanted close friends and associates on her page. Her reasons are her own and none of my business!! But if I were to take a guess, she probably just didn't want a lot of Hutch fans who she may have felt only liked her because she is Michael's sister. That's OK by me. No skin off my nose at all. You can't blame a group of fans for that!!

Then this friend said the other group is "stealing fans from INXS admins". Oh GAWD!!! The other group is a CLOSED group!!! You cannot join unless you send them a request and they approve it! NO ONE is stealing ANY fans from INXS admins!!! They may send out invites, but a person has the option to say NO!! That's not stealing! That's giving someone an invitation and they can do that if they want to. "Stealing" would be like if they were kidnapping members from other groups and forcing them to join their page. I remember a long time ago, I created a forum and I invited a lot of people I liked to join the forum. One of those people was a hutch fag who called herself Bittertears. I don't really know why I sent her an invite. I wanted to get to know her better I guess is the best reason I can think of to invite someone, to my forum, that I really did not like in the first place. I never liked Bittertears that much! Something about her made me uncomfortable from the first day I "met" her online. But later, Bittertears told me in a PM that I was "spamming her with invites". "Spamming her with invites" eh? I only ever sent her ONE invite. And she should be grateful I even sent her that one, and that I would even want to risk having her ugly ass in that forum to begin with. I could have (and probably should have) just said "fuck her bullshit" and not invite her at all. But sending someone one invite is hardly spamming. Now, if I had sent her 10 invites, that would have been spamming. LOL! But sending someone one invite is just more like a friendly social invitation. I should have listened to my instincts! LOL!

Another thing this friend keeps complaining about the admins in the other group is that they are new fans. I don't care about that either. She keeps asking "Where were these people 4 years ago????" I don't care where they were. That's none of anybody's business!! I don't care how long someone has been an INXS fan. I don't care what it was that made them become an INXS fan. As long as they love INXS as much as I do, that's all I care about! That's all anybody should care about. I kindof love it that INXS is gaining new fans because of the new movie. Maybe it'll give INXS a little nudge and encourage them to make music and tour again.

Anyways, these storms come and go. They move on. I really hope this one does soon because it's got a lot of my friends upset. One of my friends, who works in a public school, says she could lose her job over what this person is saying about her. It upsets me to see her so upset. This is so uncool, unnecessary and should not be happening. We should all go on with just remembering Michael and loving INXS. Come on people! This is Michael's month! Let's make it a good one!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Old INXS Web Buddies

I miss the old INXS Web chatroom!! I really do! Some of my best and worst moments as an INXS fan were created in that chat room. Of course back then, I was a young, innocent, cute chick. Now, I'm a fucking ugly, bitchy old hag who hates people! LOL!! Although my partner, Jack, says I am still innocent. I just go through life leaving my footsteps in the sand. Nothing else. I may seem ignorant to some people, but I have fun! LOL!! It was a love for INXS, and my just learning a bit about the band, that made me want to join. I gotta tell you all, I miss all my old buds!! I also learned a lot while I was in there. Some people who came in were nice, some were not so nice. Some were just plain annoying! But looking back on it now, I gotta say the people who were just annoying, I'd look at them now and admire them! They spoke their mind, under no uncertain terms, even if what they had to say was not what other people wanted to hear. Shoot! I AM those people now!! LOL!! I speak my mind. I'm brutally honest too! I may have to step on some people's toes, but if the truth has to be told, I tell it. And another thing about me, at least I don't intentionally target one person just to be malicious. I'm not mcgillicutty!! LOL! I'm not being honest to hurt anyone's feelings or get someone in trouble. I'm doing it because I feel the truth needs to be told.

I remember the first time I went into that chat room, the first friend I made was someone who called herself ScarlettSlash, or sometimes Spider69. LOL! She had actually made friends with INXS back in their early rockstar days. Timmy gave her the nickname ScarlettSlash. Timmy never gave me a nickname! If he did, it'd probably be "the crazy one!" LOL!!!! Or something to that effect. But ScarlettSlash made friends with INXS mostly because of her little boy, which she named after Timmy. She was a devoted Timmy fan too! LOL! I used to have her among my Myspace friends for a while, then she deleted her account and went missing for a while. I remember she used to always get so angry with me in the chat room, but strangely, I never stopped liking her. She was just a likable person! And she was funny too. She always made me laugh every night. It was no wonder she had a lot of friends, even the men of INXS. She even told me Michael and Timmy would send her and her boy Christmas cards every year.

ScarlettSlash also had her own personal stalker, a guy who called himself BallsUp. BallsUp was in the chatroom, always bad-mouthing Michael. ScarlettSlash told me he was angry at Michael for killing himself. Back then I didn't understand that, and hated BallsUp for it! I hated hearing him say such horrible things about Michael. Now, it wouldn't make any difference to me. If you look back far enough in this blog, I was not a Michael fan back then myself. For more or less the same reason BallsUp was angry at him. But I was not angry at Michael. I just forced myself not to become a fan again, because remembering him was just too painful! Timmy to me, is just as good. I never had a pic taken with Michael, my friend wouldn't let me!! But I had one taken with Timmy, and to me, that is just wonderful!!! Doesn't even bother me that I never had one taken with Michael. Because it wasn't my fault!! LOL!!! At least I got to kiss him! hehehe!! But anyways, since seeing Never Tear Us Apart, I am a Michael fan again. To be perfectly honest, I think in a small way I always was, even in that period between 2005 and 2013. I mean, how could I not like Michael? He was a big part of my world. He made me feel good, at times when nothing else did. Just that remembering him was painful as heck!

So many interesting people went into that chat room every day, which is why I went in every day I could. I remember there was even a woman who came in named Jan. Incidentally, she was the one Michael wrote the song Jan's Song for. Good song, BTW!! But Jan would never talk to anyone else, but a very few people. ScarlettSlash was one of them. Then there was Kerry, who was her best friend. There was a story behind my meeting Kerry. I remember when I first met Kerry in the chatroom, I didn't like her because I thought she had a bad attitude. I asked her how long she'd been a fan of INXS, and her words were "I've been a fan since the beginning, simple simon". This is where I slipped. I did not know at that time, INXS had a song titled Simple Simon, so I thought Kerry was calling me Simple Simon. LOL!!! Yeah, I admit it!! I was na├»ve!! Again, I was just learning more about INXS at that time, so I didn't know! And I thought Kerry came into the chat room with an attitude. I messed up. Well, I remember one night after I had had a very bad day with my ma, I could not sleep, so I went into the chat room. Jan and Kerry were frolicking with each other in there. When Kerry left, before Jan, I said "thank GOD she's gone" and Jan turned on me like an angry Rottweiler!! LOL!

After Jan had words for me, and threw in some name-calling too, she left. Everyone was telling me I got Kerry all wrong, that she was really a nice person. Then I started to feel bad. Not just because I got Kerry wrong and Jan pissed off, but also because I was taking the anger I felt for my ma that day out on those people in the chat room, and I had no right to do that. Taught me a valuable lesson! From that night on, I never again would target other people just because I was mad at someone else. Not even on the internet. Well, I remember that night I had a long private chat with a woman who called herself Brat, and she told me how she'd met Jan and Kerry and both were wonderful people. Then I really felt bad!! It's one thing when I am brutally honest with people, and they hate me for it, I can handle that. But it's very different when I am hateful towards someone and it's just due to a misunderstanding on my part. I didn't like Kerry back then and it was all my own fault. And Jan hated my guts and it was all my own fault too. Well, the next time I saw Kerry and Jan, I apologized to them both for my mistake. My friends were right, Kerry was a VERY sweet person! She was a very good sport about it all. Jan, well, I could never tell anything with her. When she got pissed off at me, that was the most action I'd ever seen out of her in that chat room. But I did apologize for disrespecting her, and I meant it too!

I often wondered over the years if Kerry was the same person that Jon married? If so, I'd say Jon got a fine catch! hehehe!

Then there was the time I lost Hutchess. I went into that chat room, and all my friends were comforting me. I mean really, I was literally in tears that night after I lost Hutchess, going into that chat room. It was my friends there who were partially responsible for pulling me through that tough time in my life. Especially the woman who called herself JonsToy and her boyfriend, who called himself GeorgiaKnight. Let me tell you, after their hours of consoling me, I had a higher respect for them! Another friend, who called herself Winnie, also called me on the phone after Hutchess died. I was practically in tears when she called, but I was laughing again by the time our conversation was done. Some people during that time disappointed me, because I thought they were my friends, but it turned out they weren't. They were the ones who knew I was feeling down, but gave me no words of comfort. But they were few in numbers really, and I don't even really remember them. More than anything though, it was INXS and my friends in that chat room that pulled me through.

Strangely, after that night, Winnie changed. She was no longer very friendly. She seemed to have gone crazy. Soon after, she and another guy in the chatroom she had a crush on, whose name was Marcel, got into a fight. Marcel was a nice guy, and he actually made guitars for a living. He made the swordfish guitar that Timmy owns. That's a cool guitar too!!! I don't know what happened between him and Winnie!

Anyways, that was my life in the chatroom at INXS Web. I miss those days. Been years since I've been back to that chatroom, and now every time I go in, nobody is there. I do wish I could go in there and see those people one more time. It'd be so good!!

Sunday, November 9, 2014

INXS Inspired Stories

As you all may know, I have a lot of stories on UMG Productions that I wrote. All my stories are either inspired by actual events that happened in my life, or someone's life that is close to me, or by special events that I was a witness to. For example, I have several stories inspired by Mount St. Helens. One of them even involves the men of INXS going to the mountain. The Johnston Ridge Observatory opened in May of 1997, the same year Michael died. But I still have him going there with the rest of the guys. He was still around when the observatory was completed and opened. But he had that Marlo Thomas hairdo. LOL! In the story, I made him look more like he did in the Full Moon, Dirty Hearts era, because that was my favorite look on him. Same thing with Timmy. There actually is a video, and I have a small clip of it, of Michael chasing a tornado! So he obviously had some fascination for things like that. He was very young in the video, I would say it must have been taken around 1985 or 86.

Anyway, I have several stories that in some way, were inspired by INXS, or my love for the band. INXS Goes to Mount St. Helens is just one. I am also rewriting that story and will re-release it soon. Hopefully by the 22nd this month. If not, soon after. I still have to work on some drawings of the guys for the story. I redid the cover pics and they look darn good, if I do say so myself! I asked Jon Farriss what he thinks of them and he hasn't responded to me. LOL! Maybe he doesn't like them. Well, they look better than the last set did I think. Cairo and I both worked on that story together. Well, he came up with some features in the story, and I worked on the rest, and the illustrations. This story does not, and is not meant to, display the true personalities of INXS. In fact, I got the idea to play on Jon a little bit in the story, him being the youngest member of the band. I am also the youngest in my family and got the same thing, so I played on that a bit in the story with Jon. Timmy, being one of the oldest band members, I made him the "alpha wolf" of the band. LOL!

I actually have several stories where I made caricatures of different public figures. The Twister has the most show up, including a meeting with a larger-than-life Jack Benny and Elvis Presley. There is also a story I did back in 1991, and I haven't decided if I want to put it on the site yet, but Roxette appears in the story. I still have a picture preview I did of that story from that year. I made them look pretty darn good too! So I think! I also did a story where Bin Ladin appears, I haven't put that one on the site yet. In the story, Katrina and Eva get lost at sea and find themselves stuck in Afghanistan. That's where they meet Bin Ladin, whose intent is only on "killing the American animals!" LOL! Then there is an old, OLD story, from 1984, where Caroline meets the Marx Brothers. But I need to hit my supervisor up for that story to see if it's good enough for the site.

Anyway, back to the subject. After Michael died in November of 1997, my stories were a bit more dark and sad for a while. Well, that kinda goes without saying, as I was sad Michael was gone. After he died, the first story I wrote was Gracie's Odyssey. And production on that story began just days after I got the news about Michael. The idea for the story was actually Cairo's, because he said he's never seen me so down before. The story was unplanned, unmediated, I didn't kick around ideas or anything for any length of time when I helped him write the story. I just put down what I felt at each moment. Cairo put them together, I did the pics, and we came up with an awesome story! It's one of my personal favorites. The only flaw with that story is I have 2 different endings for the same story. I thought up 2 different scenarios. In one version, which is the original version, Gracie's baby grows up in a small zoo in Australia, and is sold to go live in a home for wild animals in Toutle, WA. Incidentally, it is the exact same home Gracie lives in in the INXS Goes to Mount St. Helens story! LOL! How ironic!! But this story is older than the INXS story. By then, she is living in a zoo in New Zealand. In the original version, Gracie is not really reunited with her baby, who is all grown up when she sees him again.

Then there is the alternate ending, which I completed and perfected in 2012. But Davy (Gracie's baby) is still a baby when he is sold to Lisa and her father. He turns out to be Lisa's 15th year birthday gift. At one point while he is still little, he is reunited with his mother, but Lisa refuses to let Gracie have him back. Months later, Gracie tries to get him back again, this time without the help of her friends. Well, I won't give the ending away, so, check it out on UMG Productions. It's coined a masterpiece!! But the story was originally written based on my feelings about Michael.

Then there is also Hutchess: A Picture Diary. This story is also based on actual events that happened in the early summer months of 1998, when I got a cattle dog puppy and only had her for a week. I thought I would have her forever, but GOD had other plans for her. Anyways, INXS was mentioned a lot in this story, I even named the dog after Michael. And after she died, it was INXS that got me laughing and smiling again. Especially Michael and Timmy. They both had a good hand in making me feel like my old self again. The story will explain it all. It's easier with pics to help tell the story.

Friday, November 7, 2014

What Would I Do?

After watching Never Tear Us Apart, the Untold Story of INXS, which is still my top favorite movie, I often wondered what I would have done if I had been in Michael's circle of friends. If I had been the person he called that night needing someone to talk to. He called several people in need of a caring hand that night before he died. Michelle Bennett was the only person who responded right away. She was the only one who picked up the phone immediately when Michael called. She has reported that Michael sounded drunk and was crying. Just thinking about that breaks my heart! I only got close to Michael once, and when I was, I saw a very happy person, with the biggest smile I've ever seen!! Of course that was back in 1991. I never saw Michael in person after he had his accident the following year that changed his life.

The way I heard the story, Michael was in Copenhagen at the time, on a date with Helena Christensen. He bought the both of them some food and was in the middle of the road eating and having fun when this cab driver came up on them. The cab driver shouted at Michael, and Michael retorted. After that, the cab driver got out of his vehicle and walked up to Michael and just punched him to the curb. Michael hit his head very hard on the cobblestone road and this caused him to lose his senses of taste and smell. Being a connoisseur of fine food and wine, and loving the scent and taste of a woman like he did, this is when Michael became depressed. The other band members and his personal friends all said he was never the same again after that incident. Makes me feel so bad for him! I often ask why Helena didn't do anything to stop that cab driver? She could have stood between them, assuming the cab driver wouldn't strike a woman. Maybe the cab driver would have just left things the way they were and went on his own way. But then again, how could Helena know that is why the driver was getting out of his car? Perhaps she thought all that would happen would be nothing more than a mutual exchange of cuss words and phrases. But no matter what, if I were Helena, I think I would have stood between them, just in case!! Cannot be too careful in this day and age!! I'd have done whatever I could to protect Michael from ANY potential threat! But maybe Helena's instincts sucked!

If you ask me, that cab driver doesn't deserve to live!! Looking at it in retrospect, I wonder if the cab driver often thought about what he did to Michael and if he knew he had some affect on Michael killing himself the way he did. That's blood on the cab driver's hands, and he should pay for that!! It's partly his fault Michael is no longer here with us!!

Now as for Michael being a different person after that incident, I heard he went into rages in a flash. I wonder if those rages he had were brought on by the Prozac he was taking, or if he was upset that he could no longer smell and taste anything, or if he was angry with himself because he did not fight the cab driver back? Could have been either or. I was on Prozac after I lost Groucho because I slipped into a deep depression. But I got the giggles. I didn't get rages. I cannot ever say that I know how Michael felt losing his sense of taste and smell, because that never happened to me. I did once know of someone who could no longer taste anything and she took it in stride. It did not depress her at all. To me, it would be a blessing, because all the healthy foods, the foods I should be eating, all taste terrible!! If I could eat them and not have to taste them, I'd be so glad! As for being mad at himself for not striking back at that cab driver, I know exactly how that feels!! When I was relieved from Patti's clutches after enduring her bullshit for 3 days, I got mad at myself because I never told her off. I essentially let her walk all over me! Just so I could try to get along with her. For quite a while I was mad at myself for allowing that to happen. Even though intellectually I know it wasn't my fault that Patti took advantage of my kindness. I know Patti was the one with the problem, not me. But still!! I was mad at myself for letting her walk all over me, when I know I could have put her in her place, then at least I would have said something to shut her up!! Who cares if it would have gotten me kicked out! I was nice and respectful to her and still got kicked out anyways. If I'd have at least told Patti to shut up once, I could be feeling better about that incident now because I would have stood up for myself. So, I know how Michael feels if that is what caused his rages.

If I could go back in time, to any time in Michael's life, I'd put myself in Michelle Bennett's place on November 22, 1997, when Michael called her, crying and needing someone. I would have hot-footed and high-tailed it over to Michael. But before that, knowing how sad he was and that there was a potential of him to hurt himself, I'd have said to him on the phone, "I'm out the door now baby, don't do anything until I get there! Then we will have some fun!" I remember right after we moved to Bozeman, my sis was depressed, called me crying and needing some cheering up. So, I took her out on the town, and by the time the evening was over, she was feeling MUCH better, smiling and laughing again. I'd have done the exact same thing for Michael.

I remember just before Michael died, I had taken a 5-year break from INXS fanhood. But about 2 or 3 months before he died, I slowly began to get back into them. I would look at old, dust-covered pictures I had of INXS, and at Michael and my heart would pound faster and faster every day, the more I looked at him. It was a very slow process at first, but it did gradually build up. But by the time he died, I was not fully into INXS yet, but just enough that his death had an effect on me. I cried that night when I went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. And then I cried myself to sleep. I often wonder if the Godly forces were preparing me for that event? Or if GOD was signaling to me that eventually Michael would need some serious help from a loving, caring, compassionate person such as me, who once loved Michael before as a performer. I don't know! I don't know what I could have done, since Michael and I were never friends. I only saw him live once. But there are other people who were MUCH closer to him than I was. Much, MUCH, MUCH closer than I was!! Why I got those feelings rebuilding in my body just a couple months before he died, I have no idea and I may never fully know the answer. But that's what I would have done if I could have been there for Michael. We should have been friends. Michael might still be alive if we had.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Most and Least Favorite INXS Song

I have a lot of most favorites among INXS songs, for many different reasons. I think I would have to say Kick would be my most favorite INXS song. Mostly because I used to consider it my life's theme song. When I used to go into the old INXS web chat room, I called myself Kick87 regularly. Unless I was feeling sad, or ashamed, then I would call myself KickMe. Or if I was pissed off, I called myself KickAss. LOL!! But in the lyrics, Michael sang "sometimes you kick--sometimes you get kicked", and that is so true!!! I am living proof of that! LOL! But the times I have gotten kicked have made me stronger. Today, I am proud of the person I am. Believe it or not. And I love Michael for writing those words!! I added that song to the story INXS Goes to Mount St. Helens, mostly because of when Michael sings "When the mountain moves away" while he is singing in front of the mountain, I think of him pointing back at it as he says that line.

Now, I love INXS, but there are a couple songs they wrote that makes me ask "Why did you write that?" I really do not like Never Tear Us Apart that much, because I think the music could have been better. But it's supposed to be a ballad. Some lines in the song I love, like when Michael sings "Don't have to tell you--- I love your precious heart." I always find myself answering him back saying something to the effect of "I love your precious heart too baby!" LOL!!! Another INXS song I don't care too much for is Baby Don't Cry. I dunno, it's so long and drawn out, the words are. Makes the song kinda suck! In the video, Michael has this python wrapped around him, and I don't think I ever seen him look so sexy as he does there!!! He even sings to the snake at one point!! The only animal in that video they should never have got was that stupid panther!! Ugly-ass thing!! It was a total eyesore!!! Ruined the video for me! Other than that, the rest of the animals were awesome!

One song by INXS that I used to not like, but now cannot get enough of, is This Time. I used to not like that song at all, and I would fast forward through it on the Greatest Hits video I have. Now, I love it! How I got to love the song is quite a story. It happened after I lost my cattle dog puppy, Hutchess. I was so distraught after losing her that I did not eat for 3 days! Well, the third day, I was feeling weak and so I needed to do something to cheer up. The one thing I knew I could count on to make me feel better was my INXS videos. So what I would do is just pop them into the VCR, rewind them all the way to the beginning and just let them run. I didn't want to forward through anything, no songs, no scenes, nothing. I just put the videos in and let them run all the way through. Well, when I got to the song This Time, I actually got to hear how cool it sounded, it actually made me head bop and my heart flutter. I loved the song after that day was over. Now, I even have it on my MP3 player. This whole story is mentioned in the story Hutchess: A Picture Diary, from 1998. And every time now that I hear that song, I think of this and it makes me smile.

Well, those are the stories of my best loved songs by INXS.