Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Tuesday, January 31, 2017

I Hate It!

Ya know, a lot of things have changed since I've gotten older. And especially since my pa passed away. I look back on the posts I made in this blog in the past and I think how irrelevant a lot of my thoughts were back then. Even those as recently as 2015. Things that mattered to me back then just don't seem to matter to me anymore. Things I used to have fun doing back then I don't seem to have as much fun doing anymore. I'm even getting to a point where writing blogs is not so enjoyable to me anymore. As I said in my last 2 posts, I've been having much more fun now making videos. I saw a video last night and the guy said that the rare type of YouTuber is those that are only on YouTube because they just love making videos. That's me! I didn't know that was a "rare kind" of YouTuber. I thought that's why all YouTubers are on that site. But I guess not. Some are indeed on there to make money. I've made some. Not as much as some others, but I have made some in my heyday.

Fact is, I was never on YouTube for the views, subscribers, ratings nor the comments. I have less than 400 subscribers. I may never even see 400 subscribers on my channel. I have a few videos that have more than 500 views, one even has had over 100,000 views. But on average, most of my videos receive less than 200 views. In fact, most of them are lucky to even see 200 viewers! But I never cared. I now have over 200 videos on my channel at YouTube. And I do it because I just love making videos. Simple as that! Don't misunderstand me, I do enjoy it when I get new subscribers and comments on my videos. But I am just saying those are not the only reason I am on YouTube. Believe me, if it was the only reason, I'd be saying "Like and subscribe" after each video. And I don't. Though sometimes when I am looking for other opinions on a subject, I will encourage people to leave me a comment. But even those endings are rare for me. I just like doing my own thing.

Anyways, I just hate being so mean! LOL! This morning, I noticed on my Instagram I got a notification from that Statue For Michael Hutchence group. I was like "Why am I still getting crap from these people?!" Then I wrote to them "Why am I still seeing this shit? You dumb bastards kicked me off your shitty group, remember? Fuck this!" LOL! I've been hanging around Katrina too much lately! I'm starting to talk like her now! She always ends sentences about things she doesn't like with "This sucks" or "Fuck this" or even "Fuck you!" Sentences about things she does like she ends with "cool" or "Awesome" or sometimes even "Oh boy!" I know this girl like a book! She hasn't changed at all in the past 20 years! But anyways, I kinda felt a little bad writing a comment like that, because at least one of those people was my friend at one time, and she was a decent friend. I just think, like I said in my video, that her mind went crazy when she became close friends with that radical Yatesfag, Vincent Lamaro! I still don't like him! I want nothing to do with him, and you know what? Katrina believes that is why this Kelly Poulter is so obsessed with me. She brought it up once before publicly, in that group, before I moved into the shelter, and I did invite her to PM me. But she was too much of a coward to do it. One thing I noticed about Kelly P, she has to have everyone on her side. She's so dependent on her friends to stand by her side and defend her. That's why she would not PM me about blocking Vincent. That's why she brought it up publicly in the group. Because she wanted to get her friends all on her side and wanted to make sure they all stayed there.

I am totally the opposite. I do not depend on my friends that much! That's what makes me so strong. Usually! LOL! But I've never been a clingy-type person like Kelly Poulter is. I love my friends and I communicate with them. But I do not count too heavily on them to come to my defense. I can pretty much take care of myself. Normally, I do it very well. But my immunity was weakened after my father died. I was the same way after Groucho (my dog) died, and also after my grandma died. If this drama had happened before my dad even fell ill, like back in 2015, I'd have just laughed it off and moved on. I would have just said that they were just a bunch of social justice bitches and sent them packing with a "fuck off". That's why I decided to leave Facebook. I need time to heal. I'm also working on getting a puppy. The puppy is going to be THE most important part of my healing process. It's actually quite embarrassing when your friends know you as "the strongest woman they've ever met" and you let a bunch of shithead liberals run you from Facebook. That is embarrassing as fuck! And that's not normally how I am!

Well, if it is indeed true Kelly P. does have cancer, I do hope she makes it. Yeah, I'm even questioning if that is really true. But I do hope she gets better if it is, and I hope she takes that as an opportunity to grow up. Stop letting her friends do her thinking for her and start standing on her own 2 feet. Like Katrina said in one of her videos, you can't keep running home to suck your mama's titty every time someone insults you. LOL!! I love Katrina's videos!! Check them out!

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