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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Sunday, July 5, 2015

The Sparks of Love

Ya know, they say when the right man comes along, the woman knows it. I've felt love in the past, but only one man ever gave me those sparks and see fireworks. It was the only man I ever fell in love with on first sight. It was Michael Hutchence. I did manage to see him live in concert only once, but it was a memorable show! I even reached out and kissed him at that concert. But it was my first sighting of him that made me fall madly in love with him. When I first saw him on TV. When I saw him, sparks flew, I heard and saw the fireworks, I went totally weak in the knees, and I could think of no one or nothing else after that. That is what they say it is like to fall in love. That is the point where the woman knows it is going to be true love. That same day, watching that same video, I also fell in love with Timmy's buns! He has the best set of buns in the whole band!! At the time, I didn't know if Michael, or Timmy for that matter, were already married or not. I just saw them and fell in absolute love! I figured handsome men like them must be married!! Well, I would later find out it was true for Timmy, but not true for Michael. Back in those days, I found that a little harder to believe. Both were handsome men! But for different reasons. Though Timmy has the better figure and personality, for me, it was Michael's moves, cute face and flowing hair that attracted me.

Well, I did used to joke around to friends that I would someday marry Michael. I was so deeply in love with him, I wanted it to happen, but knew deep inside it would never happen! No other man has ever made me feel the same way Michael has! I never felt those sparks with any other man. Not even the man I eventually did marry! There were a few barriers in place though that made me not want to even approach Michael in that matter. One of the reasons I never approached him about the subject of marrying me, let's face it, rock stars NEVER marry fans!! To them, all we are is fans. People who admire them for their songs, performance and in Michael's case; his sultry good looks. I don't think rock stars think a fan would love them for who they are. So, they don't take it seriously when a fan approaches them and says "Hey! I want to be your girlfriend forever!" or "I want to marry you!" So, that was just one idea why I never approached Michael in that way for that reason. But that's not the only reason.

I remember when someone posted a link to a blog where the writer told of herself being the only person that Michael communicates with from beyond the grave on one of the groups I am on. I checked it out and had a great laugh over it. But there was one comment made by someone on there, well, he is among my Facebook friends now, and he seems like a nice guy. He's a bird-lover. But the comment he left on that blog made me kinda glad I never approached Michael. This guy is best friends with Michael's brother Rhett, and he told about how he used to hang at the INXS headquarters back in the day. They would get fan mail and most of it would wind up in the recycling bin. But he and Rhett would dig some of the letters out, read them and have a good laugh over them. One particularly creepy woman sounded serious about meeting Michael and becoming his lifelong girlfriend (I swear, it wasn't me who wrote that!) LOL! Well he said she showed up one day at their office in Sydney, and the scary part is she was nothing like how she described herself in her letters. He said she was 10 years older than Michael, not even remotely attractive and as big as a hippo. His words, not mine! LOL!

Well anyways, it was that reason also that I never approached Michael. I never thought of myself as being attractive. Not even when I was thinner. I guess I'd been told by bullies in school so many times that I was ugly, it sank in too deep. And while it didn't bother me if the bullies in school said it, if my Michael had said that about me, even behind my back, it would have broken my heart if I ever found out he said it. I always thought I was too ugly for such a handsome guy like Michael. I mean really, who would marry this?


That was me from 2000, but it would give you a general idea of what I looked like at the time Michael was alive. I always hated my smile! I look more like I am half frowning! I hate my hair too. I hate how it just lies all over the place! Plus, I was way too skinny! I just never thought of myself as being attractive. So, I was afraid to approach Michael. But then again, look at what he did almost wind up with...


This must be the reason he killed himself, if indeed he did commit suicide. Though that thing is the mother of his only child, it's ugly as a lion's behind!! The only good thing about Michael being with Paula, is I look at her, and I think maybe I would have had a chance with him myself! Even being fat, broken-down and bald, I couldn't look worse than Paula!! But maybe if I had married Michael, I would never have gotten fat, Michael might still be alive today, and his daughter might have had a more decent name! Well, I would have probably called her "Heavenly Hiraani Lily Hutchence", her call-name would have been Hiraani. Leave out the "tiger". That part of her name is ugly!! Michael really wanted her call-name to be Hiraani, so that's what we would have called her. It's pretty and it's unique. And it doesn't represent an ugly, lazy beast like the name "tiger" does! Tigers are cursed by GOD. With a name like that, I fear Lily will fail in anything she tries.

Dian Fossey named one of her gorillas "tiger" too, thinking the name would fit his personality. Well, judging by his namesake's current position in the wild, she was indeed right! He failed to find a mate and reproduce, and he died a lonely bachelor gorilla with no offspring whatsoever.

Well, a lot of people agree with me about Paula. One of my friends told me it's mostly the people from the UK who defend Paula. I think she's right! People from the UK and Australia defend Paula. Not all, but I noticed that pattern myself. People from the UK think Paula was the equivalent of Betty Crocker. But she killed Michael! I'll never get that out of my mind! Those of us from the USA, you can't pull the wool over our eyes! We saw through Paula's little scheme!! I'll never forgive her for that! Lily may hate me for saying things like that about Paula, but that's OK. She should hear the truth. And remember, Paula threatened to kill herself AND Lily if Michael ever left her. And Paula did kill herself via a drug overdose. Doing those kinds of things, does that sound like something a responsible mother would do?? Not to me! So if Lily wants to hate me for hating Paula, so be it! But she should know Paula wanted Lily dead if she couldn't have Michael. Paula was selfish for sure. No one can ever make me believe otherwise!
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