I'm always surfing YouTube these days, more than I surf Facebook anymore. LOL! But I found a guy who does a radio show in LA, his name is Tom Leykis. He's a dickhead! Really! But he does make some good points in his show. He is very anti-marriage! I guess that is why I listen to him, because I too am anti-marriage. Believe me when I say I do NOT envy women who are married! People seem to think I should. But I don't. I'm not saying this to degrade the people who are married and enjoy it, and I sure as Hell am not saying it to make people feel sorry for me! But I am glad to be single. I don't want to get married! Marriage may be for some people, Katrina is married and is happy with her husband. I also have other friends who are happy with marriage too. Good for them. But I would never be happy living in a house with a man, even if I was in love with him.
Believe me, I have been married before, for about a year. Then I discovered I didn't like it. I like to travel, but the man I was married to always had to work. If we traveled, it was only for such a short period of time, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it! I like to do whatever I want when ever I want, without someone holding me back saying "I have to work" or some other thing. My ma even says she is married to the most wonderful man on the planet, but then she turns around and tells me things to the effect of "I can't do this or that because my husband would kill me." Now, don't get me wrong, my stepfather is a great guy, he'd never really hurt my ma! But that was an example of some little things ma likes doing, but can't for fear it would upset her husband. I see that ALL the time among married women! When I needed Lulu to take me to Salem to catch a bus so I could go to Arizona and visit my father who was dying, it took her forever to take me because her husband was in the hospital himself with a sprained ankle. She was afraid to leave him there, even for a couple hours to take me to Salem because she said he'd yell at her if she did. Even though my case was more serious than his.
Those are a couple of very good reasons why I never want to get married again! Ever! I wouldn't like it. I was with a great guy, but all he wanted to do was work. We're still friends though. Just not married. I never will marry again. My partner recently moved here and he wanted to get married at one point. I said OK, because I wanted to help him. But inside I was scared. I wasn't crying or anything, but I was scared to death! There were a lot of things I felt I would have had to change for his benefit. My partner is a great guy, don't get me wrong. But we just have too many differences for me to be comfortable marrying him. Well, thankfully he found someone else. Someone he would be more compatible with. A lot more than me, that's for sure. Most women would be miserable if they had been rejected by a man they were going to marry. But not me. LOL! I told you all, I'm not like other women! I'm happy for him, and I mean that. I couldn't have changed, not even for him. But he and I are still good friends.
There are also other reasons I never want to get married. So many men nowadays seem to think of their wives as property, and harm, maim, sometimes even kill, women who are not submissive, or who choose to leave them. I am not a submissive person, in case you haven't noticed. I don't go down easy. Only the past few months because I was weakened by my father's passing. But normally I am not, in any ways, submissive. I'm still on that emotional roller coaster! I reckon that won't end until I get my puppy here with me. But that will happen soon, and I'll be a happy girl again! I should be back to my old self. I know boundaries, and I can abide them, but I am not submissive. A man might find that intimidating and lash out violently, and I don't want to deal with some man's short temper!
I see this in documentaries all the time, like Unsolved Mysteries, and other shows like this one I just watched this afternoon, called Evil Lives Here. It was about a man who terrorized his whole family for years, and then finally shot and killed his wife because she left him. I've seen too many shows like that to even dream of getting married. What if I somehow wind up with a man like that? I can tolerate it if a man wants to wander, and adulterate with other women. That's actually fine by me! But I won't tolerate violence against me or what would have been my children. No way! I wouldn't take that from ANY man! He'd turn on me once, and then I'd be gone. And he wouldn't even get one chance to turn on my children! I'd kill him! I'm not even a violent person. I'm usually very placid. But I am fiercely protective of what is mine. Call me names all you want to, and I won't flinch and inch. But try harming my dogs, family, or try taking away my favorite pics of INXS, and the wolverine in me comes out in full force! No matter who you are. That's how I am.
Recently, there was this girl named Denya who invaded my channel on YouTube. She was talking about killing and eating my dogs, and saying what a fat, horrible, ugly, disgusting person I am. Of course I knew it was all nothing but talk, as she is nothing but a teenager. But then Katrina came and got into the conversation (she does watch my videos apparently), and then Denya began talking about killing her kids, or saying shit like her kids were infected with AIDS, and other such nonsense. Well, I had to put my foot down on that. I said Denya can say whatever she wants about me, but I won't stand for her attacking someone else's children! So I blocked her from my channel. Yes, I know I've attacked someone's children before, but that was long ago and really, I did feel bad after doing it. It's one thing to attack someone's mom, if she attacks me first, and she did! But I cannot attack the children just because their mom is an asshole. That's not right. So, I came in here and griped how horrible it was of me to do that. And I haven't done it since.
A lot of people, mostly young folks, think I should be sad or ashamed of not being married. Well, I can tell you now, I do not feel that way. I'm actually glad I escaped marriage. I always give them the Tom Leykis response; "I don't want to be married!" and I am serious about it. I don't. Why should I get married? Why should I feel sad about not being married? Why should I feel ashamed of not being married? If you ask me, people who think I should be ashamed of being single, really should be ashamed of themselves for trying to tell me that I should feel ashamed of not being married! I'm happiest not being married. I've been on the married path before, and I didn't like it. Marriage is not for everybody, just like being single is not for everybody.
Believe me, I have been married before, for about a year. Then I discovered I didn't like it. I like to travel, but the man I was married to always had to work. If we traveled, it was only for such a short period of time, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it! I like to do whatever I want when ever I want, without someone holding me back saying "I have to work" or some other thing. My ma even says she is married to the most wonderful man on the planet, but then she turns around and tells me things to the effect of "I can't do this or that because my husband would kill me." Now, don't get me wrong, my stepfather is a great guy, he'd never really hurt my ma! But that was an example of some little things ma likes doing, but can't for fear it would upset her husband. I see that ALL the time among married women! When I needed Lulu to take me to Salem to catch a bus so I could go to Arizona and visit my father who was dying, it took her forever to take me because her husband was in the hospital himself with a sprained ankle. She was afraid to leave him there, even for a couple hours to take me to Salem because she said he'd yell at her if she did. Even though my case was more serious than his.
Those are a couple of very good reasons why I never want to get married again! Ever! I wouldn't like it. I was with a great guy, but all he wanted to do was work. We're still friends though. Just not married. I never will marry again. My partner recently moved here and he wanted to get married at one point. I said OK, because I wanted to help him. But inside I was scared. I wasn't crying or anything, but I was scared to death! There were a lot of things I felt I would have had to change for his benefit. My partner is a great guy, don't get me wrong. But we just have too many differences for me to be comfortable marrying him. Well, thankfully he found someone else. Someone he would be more compatible with. A lot more than me, that's for sure. Most women would be miserable if they had been rejected by a man they were going to marry. But not me. LOL! I told you all, I'm not like other women! I'm happy for him, and I mean that. I couldn't have changed, not even for him. But he and I are still good friends.
There are also other reasons I never want to get married. So many men nowadays seem to think of their wives as property, and harm, maim, sometimes even kill, women who are not submissive, or who choose to leave them. I am not a submissive person, in case you haven't noticed. I don't go down easy. Only the past few months because I was weakened by my father's passing. But normally I am not, in any ways, submissive. I'm still on that emotional roller coaster! I reckon that won't end until I get my puppy here with me. But that will happen soon, and I'll be a happy girl again! I should be back to my old self. I know boundaries, and I can abide them, but I am not submissive. A man might find that intimidating and lash out violently, and I don't want to deal with some man's short temper!
I see this in documentaries all the time, like Unsolved Mysteries, and other shows like this one I just watched this afternoon, called Evil Lives Here. It was about a man who terrorized his whole family for years, and then finally shot and killed his wife because she left him. I've seen too many shows like that to even dream of getting married. What if I somehow wind up with a man like that? I can tolerate it if a man wants to wander, and adulterate with other women. That's actually fine by me! But I won't tolerate violence against me or what would have been my children. No way! I wouldn't take that from ANY man! He'd turn on me once, and then I'd be gone. And he wouldn't even get one chance to turn on my children! I'd kill him! I'm not even a violent person. I'm usually very placid. But I am fiercely protective of what is mine. Call me names all you want to, and I won't flinch and inch. But try harming my dogs, family, or try taking away my favorite pics of INXS, and the wolverine in me comes out in full force! No matter who you are. That's how I am.
Recently, there was this girl named Denya who invaded my channel on YouTube. She was talking about killing and eating my dogs, and saying what a fat, horrible, ugly, disgusting person I am. Of course I knew it was all nothing but talk, as she is nothing but a teenager. But then Katrina came and got into the conversation (she does watch my videos apparently), and then Denya began talking about killing her kids, or saying shit like her kids were infected with AIDS, and other such nonsense. Well, I had to put my foot down on that. I said Denya can say whatever she wants about me, but I won't stand for her attacking someone else's children! So I blocked her from my channel. Yes, I know I've attacked someone's children before, but that was long ago and really, I did feel bad after doing it. It's one thing to attack someone's mom, if she attacks me first, and she did! But I cannot attack the children just because their mom is an asshole. That's not right. So, I came in here and griped how horrible it was of me to do that. And I haven't done it since.
A lot of people, mostly young folks, think I should be sad or ashamed of not being married. Well, I can tell you now, I do not feel that way. I'm actually glad I escaped marriage. I always give them the Tom Leykis response; "I don't want to be married!" and I am serious about it. I don't. Why should I get married? Why should I feel sad about not being married? Why should I feel ashamed of not being married? If you ask me, people who think I should be ashamed of being single, really should be ashamed of themselves for trying to tell me that I should feel ashamed of not being married! I'm happiest not being married. I've been on the married path before, and I didn't like it. Marriage is not for everybody, just like being single is not for everybody.
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