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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Complaining Christians Without A Cause

And without a LIFE!!!! Oh my GOD! This is why I have NOTHING to do with organized religion! This is from a Baptist church site, landoverbaptist.org. They seem to have nothing better to do than to pick on Disney movies and blame them for all the evils in this World!! I will admit I am getting a bit bored with Pixar-style animation, as I do tend to miss the old ways, but the things these people accuse Disney film makers of doing is silly! I have to comment!! I mean, these people just get downright ridiculous!! I tell you, I'd be kicked out of this church fast! I cannot see things the way these people do. I would be considered "unsaved" because I don't believe that dinosaurs look like penises, or because I believe ALL fish are supposed to only be green in color. And if you'd notice, their motto on the top of the page says "Unsaved are not welcome". It also says "the largest, most powerful assembly of worthwhile people to ever exist". They sure are full of themselves, aren't they!!?? And these are supposed to be Christians!! Sounds more like a demonic cult. Well, I decided to roast this site for today. Let's look first at these people tearing down the movie "Dinosaur", which came out in 2000.

Here is the link: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0600/dinosaur.html

They say: "Dinosaur," the latest propaganda film from the Disney company, tries to indoctrinate America's children with the idea that it's "a-ok" to have disgusting sexual relations outside of a Christian marriage.

My response: This is a movie about ANIMALS!! Since when have any animals had to put on a wedding suit, go to a church, stand before a preacher and say "I do" just to prove they are together? One of the worst cases of anthropomorphism I've ever seen!!

They say: Barney taught our youngsters that it was just fine and dandy to be a big flaming sissy who wears outrageously homosexual colors like purple.

My response: Everyone knows Barney was a drip!! But it wasn't because he was purple!! And that must be something new, I never heard of purple only being for homosexuals, and I went to church my whole childhood.

They say: Coyly voiced dinosaurs spew lewd and licentious double (sometimes triple) entendres and give each other “come and get me” looks that would make a streetwalker blush. Indeed, even the most radical liberal can see the unGodly intentions of this filth.

My response: You know, I'm as liberal as a person can get and I didn't see anything unGodly in the film!

They say: It is a well known fact that no one alive today has ever seen a dinosaur, since God killed them all off in the Great Flood.

My response: Really? I always thought it was an asteroid that killed them, since more proof of that has been found. *rolls eyes*

They say: But this doesn’t stop Hollywood from making most of them look like big long male sex organs.

My response: I had to laugh at this statement!! Dinosaurs looked like penises?? LOL!! No more than a giraffe or a sea lion looks like one!! So are these people going to say anyone who goes to a zoo is lewd and crude??

They say: Even the caves in which the dinosaurs live are made to look like the orifice of a woman's most sacred region.

My response: This person either needs to get glasses or get a life!! It looked like nothing but a regular cave to me!!

They say: now parents have to monitor "G" rated films because Hollywood homosexual cartoonists are once again blatantly attempting to recruit innocent children into their evil lifestyle through the big screen.

My response: Geez man, SHUT UP!!!!!

They say: This vicious attack on America's youth is the last straw!

My response: I think your attack on these cartoons is the last straw! If you all say this about Disney cartoons, I'd be interested in seeing what you all say about such cartoons as Spongebob, which I think is a stupid cartoon!!! And the drawings are MUCH more crude than those of any Disney movies.

They say: As if the sex wasn't enough,

My response: So far, you have not been able to accurately point out one single scene in this movie that involved any actual physical sexual acts.

They say: the script writers also made certain that the film was as historically inaccurate as possible. Christian creation scientists have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that human beings walked the earth at the same time the dinosaurs did

My response: I swear I choked when I saw this line! What a riot!! I still have not been able to find anyone who believes in creation that can show me dinosaurs buried in the same rocks as giant sloths, mammoths, saber-toothed cats, rhinos, or even people. Proven?? By WHOM??? I'd like to meet the person who has proven that theory!! I have a great number of questions for him (or her).

They say: yet there is not one human being in the entire film.

My response: Even if it were true that humans and dinosaurs were around at the same time, the movie is called "Dinosaur". Not "Humans". If you notice, Bambi also had no humans pictured in the movie, yet deer and humans ARE indeed walking the Earth at the same time.

They say: If you can stomach this, then your intestines must be made of solid lead.

My response: Well, I guess I'll be giving my "solid lead" guts a workout, because of all the diarrhea I've had to read in this article.

They say: The satanic plot involves a young dinosaur who is continually seeking ever-greater sexual thrills through multiple partners, not caring whether its sexual perversion is carried out with a male or female dinosaur

My response: As far as I know, the dinosaur only found one partner, until then, he didn't want a mate at all. Just the animals he considered his family.

They say: It just wants to commit unnatural acts.

My response: Once more, we are talking about ANIMALS!! How much more natural can it get??? IMO, marriage is UNnatural!!! One reason why I don't want to get married.

They say: We don't even know if the main character is a male or female,

My response: Are you crazy or just DUMB??? I would think the manly-type voice (and the fact it is always called "he" or "him" throughout the movie) would give that away right off.

They say: During its journey, it meets three little monkey-birds

My response: Huh??? What the heck are "monkey-birds"??? I don't think I remember seeing anything like that in the movie.

They say: These little monkey-birds attach themselves near the dinosaur's anus. It is never explained why.

My response: Maybe it is never explained why because it never happened in the movie.

That does it!! Trying to understand this idiot is like trying to read posts on the delusional fans forum by Catsredrum or Mayday06!! It seems everything this guy thinks about the movie is taken out of context and the meanings twisted around so he can give the plot meanings of his own. He goes on to say things in the article like "They just hang there through the whole movie, and sexual acts are implied when the characters are off screen." What makes this dipshit think he knows what kind of "acts" is going on offscreen?? Did he help animate the movie??? I wouldn't listen to a word he says!! He doesn't know SHIT!!!

Well, someone called my attention to another article on that site, this one about Finding Nemo. I will admit the movie was something of a mistake because people were going to fish stores and buying clownfish without knowing anything about them, that was probably the worst thing about that movie. But listen to what this idiot says on this site.

Here is the article: http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0703/nemo.html

First of all, check out the caption under that picture. Has anyone else seen the movie? If so, does anyone remember any place in the movie where it can be interpreted in the slightest that Nemo's father was telling Dory that he was homosexual??

They say: Christian pastors here at Landover Baptist thought their tireless efforts to warn Americans about the carefully disguised homosexual agenda targeting toddlers through Disney cartoons was working.

My response: No, not really. But then again let's face it, no decent person cares what you all say!

They say: They thought that since President George W. Bush, a devout Christian who attends a Bible church regularly and believes in the same three-headed God (Father, Son, and flying side-kick, The Holy Ghost) took office, that Americans were finally waking up.

My response: So that explains Bush's stupidity! Also, "flying side-kick"? I went to church a great number of years as a child, and this is the first time I've heard anyone refer to The Holy Ghost as "the flying side-kick"!!

They say: Our pastors took for granted that Americans understood that Jesus is not above sending little children straight to Hell for watching cartoons.

My response: I guess I'm going straight to Hell. So are all cartoonists, including the ones who made the movie "The Prince of Egypt".

So this is what their Pastor Deacon Fred said about Finding Nemo:

Fred says: Walt Disney would be spinning in his grave if he knew his animation studios were full of giggling homosexuals,

My response: Did you actually know Walt Disney?? And here we go again with the "homosexuals" comments.

Fred says: But as we all know, Walt Disney never made it to Heaven.

My response: We know that?? How? I would think that would be between Disney himself and GOD. Nobody else's business!!

Fred says: Although he hated Jews almost as much as the Apostle Paul did, he never took the time to accept Jesus Christ as his personal savior.

My response: If he hated Jewish people so much, why did he use a lot of Jewish actors to illustrate his cartoons? Almost all celebrities with any amount of character back then were Jewish, and they were enjoyable.

Fred says: So Mr. Disney is burning in Hell right now and God melted his eyes right out of his head.

My response: Is this how Christians are supposed to talk? How shameful!! Sounds more like something that would come out of the mouth of a teenager hooked on video games! Not a Deacon of a church!!!

Fred says: The poor fellow can't even see that his wholesome empire of family entertainment is overrun by prancing homos, skipping through its echoey corridors like clomping herds of wild ponies.

My response: Here we go again!! Same shit, different asshole!!

Fred says: Some folks don't think they need Pastors like myself to tell them what to think, but apparently they do, otherwise, they wouldn't be letting their children keep seeing these disgusting Disney cartoons

My response: I don't need you!! I don't need people like you!! I have my own thoughts and my own mind!! Just cuz I don't think the way you do, don't think for one minute means I need people like you! I like Disney cartoons.

Fred says: Just in case you ain't a Christian person, and can't see that Satan and the damn liberals and homos are behind just about everything that is wrong with this country, let me clue you in.

My response: "Damn liberals"?? Hm. So because a person has a mind of their own means they are evil homosexuals? (And once more, here we go again with the "homosexual" comments).

Fred says: The movie, Finding Nemo incorporates an exaggerated use of unnecessarily bright colors, and hues (especially pink and yellow).

My response: I will admit they could have used less colorful animals to illustrate the story with, but listen to his reasons against these colors....

Fred continues: As True Christians™, we know that these colors are like a trail of poop leading right up to the rabbit hole of homosexuality.

My response: Oh brother! Again with the "homosexual" comments. These people never tire of spewing that BS!! And what's with the trademark symbol after "true christians"? Only us INXS followers are allowed to trademark ourselves ;) hehe!

Fred says: Do they take us for fools?

My response: You? Noooooo! You're doing a much better job of presenting yourself as one on your own.

Fred says: I've been to the fishing hole before, my friends - and I've never had a tug on my line from any orange or yellow striped demon possessed looking fish.

My response: Have you ever caught an actual clownfish? Wouldn't exactly give your line much of a tug I wouldn't think!

Fred says: Everyone knows that fish are green!

My response: Well, I didn't know that, and I've worked with fish all my life. *rolls eyes* I think he's confusing fish with frogs!!

Fred says: Every time I see a commercial for this movie, it makes me want to scream and smack my giggling little grandson in the head!

My response: I'm glad you're not my father or grandfather. I'd smack you in the head for smacking my child in the head over something as small as that!! And if I was your grandson I'd hate you for life!!!

Fred says: And it wouldn't be my fault if I did smack him! It's them damned homos who forced me to do it!

My response: Yeah, blame everyone else for your stupidity except yourself. FYI, it IS your fault you're stupid!!! To quote your own words: "Praise the sweet name of Jesus!"

Fred says: Since I don't have to lift up a sewer lid, to know it stinks down there - I also don't have to see movies to know that they are about.

My response: Maybe you should try seeing a movie before critiquing it, then you'd actually know what you are talking about! Trying to critique a movie without having seen it just makes you look dumb! Then, you can lift the lid of that stinking sewar, and crawl back in it where you belong.

Fred says: Aside from the homosexual cartoonist's calling card of high budget glitz and glamour that accompanies each new Disney/Pixar release, there is a more sinister agenda at work here. This film is about a young fish boy from a single family fish home.

My response: Again, we are talking about FISH!! Who gives a shit if it is from a single-family FISH home, or if both parents raise it?? This is as dumb a statement as the "dinosaurs who aren't married" comments!!

Fred says: He rightly runs away after finding out his daddy fish is a flopping homosexual.

My response: Here we go again, and again, and again!! Children occasionally defy their parents, it's normal behavior. So you're logic is implying a parent who tries to get their child to mind them is doing it because they are homosexual, and the child who is defying them is just trying to run away from their "homosexual" parent?? That makes a lot of sense (NOT!!!) First, I'm beginning to wonder, do you even know what homosexual means???? I'm starting to believe you don't!

Fred says: His daddy fish wants him to come back home and live with his boyfriend!

My response: I don't recall the father fish even having a boyfriend!

Fred says: This homo-fish intends to marry outside of his own fish race by taking up residence with a male blow fish.

My response: Huh??? You haven't seen this movie have you, bub? I don't recall the father fish taking up with a male blowfish!

This dude is nuts! And I mean too crazy for me!! Too, TOO crazy!!! I can't even think of an equal for this guy, except maybe people already in prison or the looney bin!! I cannot read anymore. You all can read it and interpret what you want. I'm finished!! But just to give you a clue to the stupidity of this website, I wanted to post my responses.
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