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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Oprah Getting Fatter?

Just when I think things got better for Oprah, things get worse. The woman is packing on the pounds again! I don't usually talk about Oprah, as she is usually the last thing on my mind. But according to this article on E! News, she is gaining weight. Want to turn to Dexa-fat for help? I recommend not. As a fat-ass myself, I cannot specify enough about how much this product does NOT work!! I've tried it several times. It promises to reduce your appetite and that is BULLSHIT!! It never reduced my appetite! In fact, it made it worse. There was one solution that would have worked if it was still around, inject your body with tapeworms!! You're guaranteed to lose weight, but the problem is, after you lose the weight, you have to go through the trouble of getting rid of the tapeworms. And believe me, they are NOT easy to get rid of!! I used to rescue feral cats, I know how difficult they are to get rid of!! This was a popular weight-loss method back in the 1920s. Tapeworms however, tend to also drain your body of vital nutrients and vitamins, so it was not a very good idea!

Well, poor Oprah! I must say I feel sorry for her. This is why I stay away from diet gimmicks. It's better to stay the fat-ass I am than to try and "re-train" myself to follow a diet! Diets make you gain weight, not lose it. I take my walks daily, so I know I will at least be a healthy fat person. But try to lose weight? Well, if it happens, OK. If it doesn't, I can live with it. And fat-names don't bother me anymore. I guess Oprah's high-priced chef will be returning to work next Monday after probably being out of work for several years. But then again, I don't know. Maybe it's just holiday fat for Oprah? But if the laws of medicine is anything to go on, if her highest point was 237 in 1990, Oprah should now reach a whopping 260 pounds!! Maybe even 300 before she figures out how to get her weight back down again. She'd better rush! At 54, her time is running out! The older you get the harder it is to lose. The only thing you will really lose is your mind trying to lose that weight only to find out you can't!!

Well, if she can't, she can always join me in the club O.B. City. Just call 1-800-LARD-ASS. I'll be there, so will Odessa and my sis Anna. We all are working on our weight issues.

On second thought, don't dial that number. Would you believe I tried that once, just to see if that was a real number and what it lead to, and I got some kind of an interview company. It's apparently a company that does interviews for other companies. I never heard of a place like that before, and I thought I just made that number up. LOL! But apparently not. And there is such a profession. So, Oprah won't lose weight or get weight-loss support if she calls that number. But if she loses her job as a talk-show host because of this, that number might get her an interview with another company that can give her a job.
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