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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Why I Believe in GOD

It's hard to explain, even harder to atheists. I told an atheist that anyone would have a hard time convincing me there is no GOD, because I have actually felt HIS presence. The only explaination I can give as to why I believe is because I have faith. It's not just a comforting feeling, it's enlightening. Well, I was just giving my opinion. Suddenly, other atheists were attacking, trying to convince me that there is no GOD. Keep in mind, I did not comment there to convert anyone. That's not my job. I was just there to share my POV, as always. But there are always going to be people who want to try and convince me to believe (or not believe) their way. My beef came from 2 atheists, who actually converted from religious families according to them, they call themselves Jormoukko and PatchesRips. They claim their beliefs that there is no GOD derives from a lack of tangible evidence. They have called me ignorant, stupid, and claim that I was dodging the subject, and avoiding answering their questions. That's basically what it all boils down to. I just took their comments with a grain of salt because they don't know my situation, and I do. I have actually felt GOD's presence.

Jormoukko's argument is that she has favorite rock groups, and has been to their concerts, and it makes her feel good and excited. I understand that myself. I love INXS, and have been to several of their concerts, even met them in person. And I too felt excited. But it's a temporary feeling at most. The incident that turned me into a believer in GOD was not a temporary thing, and to this day I always rely on GOD to take care of things that need taking care of. I don't do it myself anymore. True sometimes the excitement of meeting INXS lasted for several days, even weeks! But it's still only a temporary feeling. My incident with GOD happened back in 2001, lasted for about 6 months, and then after I said a simple prayer, I never felt that feeling again. I know I have told the story many times before, but I tried to go back and look for the post here again and I could not find it. So I will tell it again here, as I told PatchesRips to come check out my blog and read the story of why I believe in GOD now. Heck, I'm even starting to go to church. Slowly, but surely gaining up in that department. I avoided church for a long time because of the bad experiences I had when I was a kid. But there has been none of that with this church.

Well, anyway my incident first began on the AcmePet site back in 2001. Yes it was a forum, and no it's not there anymore. Apparently the mods were facing a lawsuit because of something someone said on there. Having been there and seen how very ugly it got most of the time, I was not at all surprised this lawsuit was pending. Lots of people got their feelings hurt by others on that forum. And I must admit, it changed my lifestyle and attitude too while I was there. I became an angrier, more bitter, person. The final straw occurred in the chihuahua forum on that site. An incident that involved myself and 3 other people, who called themselves Kallie, Jeri and Sharon. I liked Kallie and Jeri, but I didn't like Sharon that much. Sharon was an outspoken person like me, who said exactly what was on her mind, but she was also a middle-aged baby. Or rather a middle-aged teenager. Apparently her mind was not mature enough to know when to keep her mouth shut, and she was in her 50s and had 4 kids! She also never took any responsibility for her own actions, but rather had the habit of starting trouble for other people, and not stepping in at all to stop it when it got ugly. In short: She was a cowardly jerk! I don't remember her ever saying or doing anything positive to other people, except an occasional compliment on their dogs. Jeri bred chihuahuas, but I believe she was what we refer to as a backyard breeder. She intentionally bred Taco Bell lookalikes. Kallie was also on the German shepherd forum and had 2 of those dogs. She ran a site called Nikko's rescue (Nikko was one of her shepherds). Looking back on her actions now, Kallie was what I can only refer to today as a tree-hugger. She believed animals have the same feelings as people do, in this post you will see what I mean.

Well anyway, enough with the character introductions. Back in 2001, I had recently just lost my grandma, after a lingering illness. So, I was still in a bad way, snapping at everyone, when this incident occurred. Getting on that forum in the first place was a bad idea so soon after losing her. But when I did get on there, I had no idea how ugly pet people could really be. I wasn't used to people being so ugly to each other on forums. Well, around that time, I was due to be getting a little female longcoated chihuahua. She was 2 weeks old at the time, and looked awesome! Well, I made the mistake of announcing it on the chihuahua forum at AcmePet. My exact words were "I'm finally getting a good longcoat chihuahua female". Most other people were happy for me and congratulated me. But Sharon latched on to where I said "a good longcoat chihuahua" and instead of congratulating me, she asked me "What is your idea of a 'good' longcoat?" Well, she asked me a question, and I decided to answer it. I said "Any chihuahua that does not resemble the Taco Bell dog is a good chihuahua to me." By 'good', I meant in quality. ANY dog can be a good pet. Though I didn't say that! LOL! Looking back now, I probably should have put it that way, though I don't think it would have stopped Kallie's attacks. Kallie then jumped in and congratulated me on getting the pup, but also added that I should not be feeling that way about the Taco Bell dog. She asked me why I felt that way about the Taco Bell dog. I thought she knew that I was only referring to the quality of the dog, because that was what I was talking about. I told her because he's ugly, and a bad representation of the chihuahua breed. Her response was to laugh sarcastically and say "That is the dumbest reason I ever heard for not liking the Taco Bell dog!" With her turning it into a mocking session against me, I remember it put me on the defensive.

Keep in mind, Sharon asked me for my opinion, and I gave it to her. Yet, where was she now to step in? I didn't see her for days, and in the meantime, Kallie and Jeri were hammering away at me for giving my opinion. Over time, their arguments just got uglier and uglier and it lasted for 2 days straight. Kallie was saying things to the effect of: "I've been coming in this forum for 5 years, and I never heard anybody say anything like that!!" and "You are a RUDE person!" and "People on this forum are going to see your comments and not want to be your friend anymore!" and every response from me she would state "Hmm, I think I struck a little nerve there. Oh well." and blah-blah-blah over and over again. Finally I just got sick of hearing her, and said that if she is sticking up for the Taco Bell dog, she might as well be sticking up for puppy-farming. Well, Kallie really shit her pants when I said that! LOL! I was gone for the day, looking for homes because we were about to move out. When I got home, I went back to that forum, and I saw were Kallie and Jeri were shitting on me while I was away. Kallie said "You mean puppy milling? Oh that's it, you're not getting out of that one!" then she proceeded to tell me never to post to her again. Jeri said "No more posts from me to you. Dude don't get it!" whatever that meant!! LOL! Kallie just went on and on shitting on me, even though I was not there to respond.

Well, I responded one last time, the same method they used to respond to me over the previous 2 days. But then that night, I also had some pangs of guilt, because at least at one time, I did like them before. Even though I know I was in the right, and they were wrong (I was, after all, asked for my opinion). So I got myself back on that forum and posted to them personally, telling them that I didn't have anything to do with those posts made to them! I thought I could get out on a technicality. I wasn't sure how they were going to respond to that. Usually I expect the worst! Though back in those days, I was still very new to forums, and dealing with people like that. My little cousins were visiting at that time, so I passed the blame to them. Well, when I got up the next morning, Kallie had responded. She said something to the effect of "I think it's sad that you would pawn off your rude behavior to your cousins!" and "I don't buy your claim" and also stated that she has neices and nephews the same ages as my cousins and some of the words used were not words that are in her relatives' vocabulary (once again, comparing my family to her's). Then she said "Don't ever post to me again!" LOL! I can look back on it now and laugh because it was silly! Not only did Sharon ask for my opinion, but Kallie did too! It was on her own head that she didn't like what I had to say! LOL! I always tell people, if you don't want to know my opinion, then don't ask!! Because I'm gonna give it to you straight!! Especially when they ask me. But anyway, even Sharon turned on me that day, and I began feeling bad. I had this pain in my belly that felt like lightening was surging through my belly from the inside out, and it hurt like mad! I could not eat, and I had bad episodes of the runs for almost a whole year.

That was a bad feeling! Very bad! I went from weighing 109 pounds to 98 pounds I lost so much weight! GOD, I was skinny back then! LOL! 109 was fat for me back then! The worst thing though was not the weight loss, it was the cramps I had to endure for all those months. The fact that Kallie, Jeri and Sharon did not like me anymore did not really bother me after a while. What bothered me was the fact that I felt I had to lie just to get those losers to like me again! That was the worst dang feeling in the World, and I learned a valuable lesson that day! If I am going to give my opinion, I'd better be well prepared to stick with it, no matter what! And that has been my philosophy to this day. If I lose so-called "friends", then I just lose them. Who cares? They were never really my friends in the first place if they are going to let something like that change how they feel about me. Well, this is where my belief in GOD came in. I went to my portal, where I like to go to communicate with HIM, and I said a prayer. I asked GOD to forgive me for that lie I felt I had to tell, and give me the strength to forgive those people for their trespasses against me. All of a sudden, within seconds after I finished that prayer, I felt this calm, soothing feeling, and I could actually feel that sharp cramp leave my belly that had been in there for about a year without letting up. I never even expected prayer to work so fast!! I was not really a firm believer in GOD until that incident! Now, people really would have a hard time convincing me that there is no GOD!

If that incident had happened now, I would be like "Well, they hate me now, but they will get over it. And if they don't, who cares?" I love when incidents like that one at the AcmePet site happen now. I get to find out who my real friends are. It cuts out the riff-raff (meaning fair-weather friends). I've had quite a few of those over time. But I still go through incidents like that and still I find out who my real friends are. I like to think I could be a real good friend to anyone. But not everyone is like me. People give in to rumors, battles, and other misgivings, and they say to themselves "Well, if so-n-so thinks this about this person, maybe this person is not as good as I thought (s)he was." so they give up being friends with that person too. But other people, who are really rare types, have their own minds, and think "That person never did anything to hurt me and has always been very nice to me. So I don't care what others say about them." and remain that person's friend. Those are really the types that should matter. No one else! But again, those types are really rare! You sure as HELL won't find those types in pet forums, I can promise you that! No one except maybe me. If I really like someone, I remain loyal forever, as long as I don't suspect any horseplay against me behind my back.

Well anyway, after the feeling I got when I said that prayer, I am now a firm believer in GOD, because no matter what I did, I could not get that feeling to go away before. Believe me, I tried! Only the prayer was able to lift that feeling from my body, and it hasn't come back since! Since then, I rely on GOD for everything good or bad in my life. But that was how I felt GOD's presence. You can accept the story or reject it, I don't care. You can even try to tell me that wasn't GOD's doing! But I have not felt a similar experience since that day almost 10 years ago. There is no other explaination. And it is not comparable to how I felt seeing my most favorite band in concert and meeting the guys.
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