Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Monday, November 5, 2018

Another Year For Our Angel, Michael

Wow! It's hard to believe this year will make 21 years since he left us. It still feels like yesterday though. I'll never forget that night as long as I live! If I live another 21 years, it'll still feel like it happened yesterday. The night I heard those awful words "Michael Hutchence was found dead". I can still hear them in my mind. And the same thing happened this year that has happened every year that I've been into Michael, I do a lot of crying. When I am not crying, I am always very close to tears. This year has been especially hard on me and I don't know why! One would think last year would have been harder on me. But no, it wasn't. Last year was actually different, I think because I was concentrating so much on getting that movie out. The movie is supposed to focus more on the fans than on Michael, even though the movie I made was for his honor. It was my gift to Michael, a gift showing how much he really meant to the fans. It would have been great if I could have gotten some comments from people who actually knew him on a professional basis, but that's OK. The fact that all the comments were generated by his fans was special enough. No one has ever done that before. Most people who put up videos for Michael never do any talking. Usually all they do is picture slideshows with INXS's music. I didn't want to do something like that! I wanted to do something no other fan has ever done before.

Well, this year, I won't be doing anything like that. This year I'm just going to celebrate my own way. I usually celebrate the 22nd and not Thanksgiving. Well, strangely enough this year, Thanksgiving just happens to fall on the 22nd. So, either way this year, I'll be celebrating Thanksgiving, only it won't be Thanksgiving for me. I'll still just be celebrating Michael's life. I love that man more than anything! Him and Timmy! I love him, but this year, I don't have any special plans. I'm just going to celebrate his life the same way I do every year and fuck all else.

I wish to GOD I had married Michael when I had the chance! I'm pretty sure he'd still be alive. Because I would never have let him get close to Paula! I don't believe he really loved Paula. Apparently, he would go to Nick Cave's house without telling Paula and complain about "those fucking kids" and "that fucking woman". I don't believe he had any plans at all to stay with her. I think he stayed only because he didn't want Paula to kill his child like she had threatened to. I don't know how the Yatesfags don't see how disturbing that is! Yet if I were to say anything like that about anybody (whether they knew the person or not), I would have had all the fans deleting me on Facebook, left and right. But then again, Yatesfags are nothing but libtard SJWs, and libtard SJWs are stupid. If I had been there with Michael when he met Paula, it would have been like this...

Michael and I are sitting on a sofa together backstage, laughing, cuddling, having some fun chit-chatting.

Paula walks in stark naked, showing everything!

Paula says: How can you not want this?!

Me: Excuse me! We're trying to have a private moment here!

Michael gets up and begins to walk towards her. I grab him by the seat of his pants, pull him back to the sofa and shout "Oh NO YOU DON'T!!!!!"

I angrily approach Paula, pointing to the exit door.

I shout: Get OUT!!! Michael is MINE, and you can't have him!!!

Paula refuses to leave. So, I throw a towel at her and push her out the door.

I shout at Paula: And don't come back you ugly bitch!!!

That move alone might have saved Michael's life. But now we will never know because he is gone. But I don't think he wanted to marry Paula. Paula just thought he did. But I think she loved him more than he loved her. Michael's sister said the only woman she's heard Michael say he wanted to marry was Michelle Bennett. That's why I don't believe he was serious about Paula. It's a pretty well-known fact that most men tend to be more attracted to women that remind them of their mom. While Michelle had some of the same features as Michael's mom (from the pictures I've seen of her), Paula had nothing in common with her. Michael's mom was beautiful! Michelle was pretty too. Paula, well, let's just say, she looked like a road-killed rat that had been dragged for 2 miles.

The way Paula abandoned Lily, I don't think of her as the mother of Michael's child. She's just the woman who gave birth to her. And she probably only did that because Michael asked her to. Anyone who would threaten to kill their own child, like Paula did, does not deserve the title of "mother". Michael was counting on Paula to take care of Lily for the rest of her life. Lily was counting on her mom to be there. Paula let both Michael and Lily down. And look who got Lily. Bob Geldof. The man Michael least wanted to have custody of his child.

Well, Michael's death affected me much more different than the death of any other celebrity, and I've lived through MANY celebrity deaths!! Some I even used to love, like Bill Bixby. I had a huge crush on him when I was a teenager. He died in 1993, and while I was indeed sad to hear of his passing, I got over it fairly quick. It's kinda eerie that Bill Bixby was born on January 22 of 1934. Michael was born January 22 of 1960. Bill Bixby died on November 22, 1993. Michael died on November 22, 1997. Both men I had huge crushes on in my teen years. Both men I used to fantasize about marrying one day. LMAO!! See where this is going. I got to kiss Michael, and I did write a fan letter to Bill Bixby. He never wrote back though. But I think it was because he was grieving the loss of his wife and child, because he did lose both of them shortly before I wrote the letter and sent it.

Michael to me was more than just a rock n roll singer. He was a wonderful, beautiful person and a huge inspiration to me. His death inspired me to write one of my favorite stories on UMG Productions; Gracie's Odyssey. Production of that story actually began within days after Michael died. My buddy Cairo actually began that story after seeing how miserable I was after hearing about Michael dying. I helped him write it by providing illustrations. It was easy for me to create such illustrations, a lot of it was sadness. I was feeling sad myself at that time, so basically I just put into drawings the way I was feeling. The ending result was a very fascinating story!

The main character, Davy, as a baby fawn.
The character, Gracie, in the story (who is Davy's mother) is based on Michael, while Davy is based on me. Oddly enough. Gracie loses her baby and she feels sad (remind you of anyone?) Davy loses his mother, and he cries for days. Just like me, when Michael died. Up until then in the story, Davy was a happy baby. So was I, a happy person before Michael died. I hadn't cried like that since I was under 10 years old. Then when Michael died, it was like I started crying and never stopped. Very similar to Davy in the story. There is a point in the story where he is reunited with his mother while he is still little. I WISH I could have been reunited with Michael!!! I was only reunited with him in my dreams. But then little Dave loses his mother again, and he is sad all over again and cries. Kinda like when I would dream of Michael, only to wake up and remember that he is no longer with us. Then I would feel sad all over again, and sometimes even cry. That happened more than once after Michael died.

Then there was another incident I had that was inspired by Michael. When I got Hutchess, a cattle dog puppy...

Hutchess in 1998, playing with her ball.
Yes, I even named her after Michael. Well, why not? It's an Australian breed of dog. She could represent Michael very well. Unfortunately I only had her for a short while. That's what the story was about, the story Hutchess: A Picture Diary. It's basically nothing but an anecdote story now, but it was based on events that actually happened. Most of them. For one thing, I remember how I didn't eat anything for 3 days after I lost Hutchess. I remember going to a strip mall to meet the breeder and I discovered Hutchess. I remember the dreams I had after losing her, which I do talk about in this story. I also remember how it was Michael's singing and Timmy's funny antics that got me laughing again, which put me on the road to recovery. And yes, I also remember getting that phone call from dad and how insensitive he was that I lost Hutchess. All these things are in the story. Writing that story helped heal me after Hutchess died.

And then there was the story of INXS Goes to Mount St. Helens. Gracie also makes an appearance in that story, and she takes to Michael! LOL! She does, but I don't. That's because when I completed that story in 2005, I had gotten over Michael, and in a sense, had gotten bored with him. At that time, I was beginning to look at Timmy in that special light instead of Michael. I depict that in the story too. I reject poor Michael and concentrate on Timmy. Though I still think Timmy is more handsome than Michael (he's more manly), and he's funny too. Michael can sing wonderfully, and he is a very handsomely beautiful man! I love him a lot! But sadly, he's also wimpy. Timmy is handsome, and funny, and manly. Very much a man's man!

Well anyways, this is Michael's month. So, this month I'm going to do things to celebrate his life. I'm pulling out all my INXS videos and playing them.

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