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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Friday, November 26, 2010

At The Bake Sale

Well, today my church had a bake sale. I spent all week preparing for it too! I wanted to make up different kinds of goods. I wanted to do my specialty cupcakes, and cookies. I made up about 4 different kinds of cupcakes, orange dreamcicle, key-lime, marble, and vanilla. I also made my special fudge-topped brownies which is always a crowd-pleaser. Also, I made my peppermint meltaway cookies which is another big crowd-pleaser, my chocolate-chip/toffee bit cookies, and my own brand of sugar cookies. One woman came and bought a dozen of my cupcakes! I was excited! I sure do hope she enjoys them. Also, my sugar cookies went almost immediately. They were all gone within 20 minutes after we arrived there. And I got rave reviews for my fudge-topped brownies. People kept wanting to come back for more. It was 2 days worth of baking, but I loved it! It's what I love to do. I usually bake my own bread, and stuff. I used to even churn my own butter! That takes a lot of doing though. This was special though, this was for the church. The money that was made is going to the missionaries, and also to the local food bank, which is awesome! So I was glad to participate. The fact my stuff sold and got rave reviews speaks volumes to me! Well, I said it before, and I'll say it again, no one cooks like a fat woman!!! LOL! I baked the turkey for Thanksgiving yesterday. My ma wanted me to use one of her roasting bags, and I told her I don't need it! I can bake the turkey, and it'll still be moist without the roasting bag. Ma didn't believe me at first, but I assured her I know what I am doing. It had to pass "the John Test". hehe! John is my stepfather, and as food goes, he is a hard one to please! Actually "hard" is an understatement! He's nearly impossible to please!! He's very picky. He's even pickier than I am, and I thought I was bad!!! LOL! Ma said that it was because she was so used to me being such a picky eater that she is now able to tolerate John's taste without wringing his neck every now and then.

So, I made the turkey. I didn't even think about "would this please John?" I just did what I usually do with turkey. I also made homemade turkey gravy, and it came out awesome!!! When I got the turkey up to ma's apartment, John took one look at it and thought it looked dry. He was looking at the outer layer, the skin, which he usually throws out anyway. I told him that when he cuts into the bird, it won't be dry. I assured him he'd love it. He and ma got into a little spat because I didn't use a roasting bag. He thought ma just didn't give me one. I told him that she offered me a roasting bag, but I turned it down because I don't need it. Well, when we finally served the turkey, it was so juicy, the juices were just oozing out as we cut into the meat!! Nice, clear juices too! And yes, it definitely passed the John Test!! hehe! He gave it 110%!! He went back for seconds! He would have gone for more, but he only likes the drumsticks. I usually don't like using those roasting bags. They are good for some things, but not for turkey! I used one of those once, and it took a long time to get the turkey to turn golden brown like I like it! And when it finally did turn brown, it was dry on the inside. The secret to getting a good, moist turkey, and attaining that lustrious golden brown color, is to coat the turkey with canola oil and seasonings (I use seasoned salt), and then cooking it for 25 minutes per pound of turkey. This was a 22-pound turkey, and so it took 9 hours to roast. The oven can start out at 350 degrees for the first 20 minutes, but then turn the heat down to 300 degrees after that, and the turkey comes out awesome!! It melts in your mouth when it's done!! Then for dessert, I made my lemon meringue pie, which John also loves. I make it with shortbread crust, which really comes together very well with the tanginess of the lemon custard. Gives the crust kind of a subtle sweetness.

Well that was my week! I even am having a little fun on YouTube with another troll. hehe! He came into one of my videos and just went "EWWWWWW!" So, I visited his channel. You know what I really love? I love it when the ugliest possible person tells me how ugly I am, when they need to look in the mirror themselves!! I mean, I never claimed I was attractive! In fact I don't think I am at all! But for this kid to say himself that I am ugly, it's the pot calling the kettle black. He's ugly himself! I remember when I was a kid, the ugliest person in the whole school was a boy named Paul. In fact, even the teachers admitted he was ugly! He not only was ugly, he had a nasty disposition! I remember he called me ugly all the time, but I just laughed at him when he did! He said it to try and make me feel bad, but it never worked because I knew something he didn't know. I knew he himself was ugly too! He was hydrocephalic, and he showed it too. He had the bugged-out eyes, and the oversized, oddly-shaped head you often see in hydrocephalics. Not only that, but his hair looked like it was made of straw, and his teeth were all crooked, and he often spat when he talked. I felt sorry for him (no, I never said he was ugly to his face, even though he always said it to mine!) But he was a nasty kid! And he always got in trouble for something. Even though he was a nasty kid, there were times he also showed a tender heart as well. He could be nice too. But those moments for him were rare.

Well, this kid on YouTube said I was ugly, so I looked at his videos, and let me tell you, he is no Adonis himself! He looks more like a twiggy CopperCab!! hehe! So, I told him so, just so he knows! He said I was a big, fat "diskusking" old woman and he pukes everytime he looks at me. hehe! I laughed and told him that he is much uglier than I have ever been or will ever be! He said this morning "You wish!" hehe! Then he challenged me to say it to his face. LOL! I love it when they get that pissed off! I reminded him that this is YouTube!! I told him when he can say his shit to my face then he can challenge me. No one on the internet (especially when they live thousands of miles away in Europe) should be making challenges like that unless they can actually carry them out. I never do. They just make themselves look stupid when they do. I think though that this guy knows I'm just playing with him. I looked in my e-mails today, and I also noticed this same person has actually subscribed to me. Oh well! One more sub, even one like this person, never hurts anything.
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