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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Monday, October 17, 2016

I Should Have Been There!

Look at this sweet, solemn face:

Photo by Matthew Marsland.
I've got to say something. Next month is Michael's month and I've been actually putting off writing this post because of that. But I figured Oh well. I want next month's posts to be more positive about Michael. So, I am writing this now. I have to say something. I love Michael. More than anything in this world, except Timmy and my family and friends. LOL! Long list there of people I love! But I had to say something about this pic, it's painful to look at. He's got water around his eyes, which I believe to have been from crying, and even his smile in this pic looks sad. Usually when Michael smiled, it was so bright and cheery, it lit up the room! But this smile looks sad to me.

Well, I was told that the picture was taken at the ARIA awards in 1996, and Michael had received word that his home had been raided due to drug charges and that just tore him apart. Poor guy! This is why I just cannot support Michael's decision to want to be with Paula, because I believe she did these things to him. But Michael was still very sweet and generous to be handing out his autograph that day to adoring fans like the guy who took this pic. I'm sure he tried to hide his feelings as much as he could. I remember hearing about Michael being charged with drug possession in 1996, and at that time I was not even into INXS then. I remember thinking how glad I was that I was no longer an INXS fan at that time. But it was just odd that I even thought anything about them the year before, as my feelings about INXS were no different than they were at the time this pic would have been taken.

I just remember snapping with the thought in 1995 that Michael was going to be the first band member to leave us. I absolutely have no idea why I thought that, INXS was the farthest thing from my mind that year. I never heard any recent music from them that year, I just did not think of them. But for some reason, I thought that one day out of the blue. I do remember after I had that premonition, wondering if he was OK. But then I thought nothing more about it. I spoke to a friend who is a wiccan and a medium. Yes, I associate with wiccans too! I don't judge, they are actually very fascinating people who worship nature. She told me that Michael and I were, in a sense, spiritually connected. I don't really believe her, but then how can I? Michael and I never had a formal meeting, just an exchange of kissing. Sort of. LOL! But if we'd have actually met, I could have been Mrs. Michael Hutchence. hehehe! It's a very far-fetched idea, but it's fun to think about. Michael and I have a lot in common, I am finding out. I don't look like a supermodel. In fact, I am ugly as shit! But then again, so was Paula Yates. LOL!

I dunno. If I had been there and saw Michael in this kind of shape, I would not have been able to contain myself. I would have seen the tears being held back in his eyes, and I would have said "Are you OK, baby?" I've always been observant. And also always been too compassionate sometimes for my own good! But no compassion would have been wasted on Michael, I don't think! Though I am not so sure I would have gotten an answer. The band members all said Michael never liked to talk about his own feelings. Which is a shame! Because you hold them back like he did, they're eventually going to eat you up inside.

I once heard everybody has frequencies they work on, as individual as our fingerprints. That's what gives people their sixth sense. I think somehow mine and Michael's frequencies are very close to each other's. But how I could know some things and not others is way beyond me, and probably not meant to be understood. I just take it as what happened happened. I should have acted on them somehow. But the sad fact is, I didn't. I don't know exactly what I could have done to help him, I'll never know that now. But I'm sure I could have done something and it would have helped, even if just a little bit. I'm pretty good at making other people feel good. Always had that gift. That's because I laugh at myself pretty good. Even if others around me are laughing at me. LOL!
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