Hitting A Dry Run

I haven't had a video idea in days, so I'm going to make a blog post. This happens. Just like when I write stories, I have dry spells. In my case, the dry spell has lasted about 10 years now. My stories are now few and far between. Those ideas I have had I got from ideas I jotted down nearly 20 years ago. Or sometimes more than that. But in recent years, my story ideas have been incomplete. I have the beginnings, and I get the plot, but no idea how to end the story. I've always been bad at endings. I need to get back in touch with my story-writing buddies again! I lost touch with Cathy when we moved from Ocean Shores. I chat with Cairo sometimes, but he's not writing anymore stories these days because he has other interests now. Trisha is busy with her grandkids, spoiling them rotten. So, I am pretty much on my own now.

Well, as much as I love making videos, I can't do it every day, or even every week. I do it when I can think of something to talk about and that's it. I'd like to be able to keep my audience entertained 100% of the time, but I've never been one for making daily videos. My apologies to my loyal viewers. One thing that always gets hits is my Onision videos. People LOVE those!! But really, that is not the direction I want my channel to go in. I don't want to do videos constantly bashing Onision. I think the guy needs help and I hope someday he gets it. Hopefully before he even dreams of delving into another relationship! Like I said before, I hate being mean. Even to those people who deserve it. Which is why I am not just saying "Onision needs serious help!" But I am also saying "I hope he gets it soon" and I actually mean it. Unlike what other people will have you believe, I'm not an insincere person. Of course those people do not know me. They only think they do. LOL!! It's funny how people think they know everything there is to know about a person just by what that person writes on the internet, based solely on what is "popular opinion". LOL!

A perfect example of that is when someone came in here (I believe I know who it was) and tried to turn Katrina against me by saying "She sounds nice on her blog, but wait until you get to know her better. You'll change your mind." Not even realizing that Katrina knows me FAR better than he does and ever will know me. Katrina and I have been friends for over 25 years, since she was really little. And 5 years of that time was spent living with me and my sis. So, the person who made that comment will never know me like Katrina does. LOL! But it goes to show you all that people do indeed judge others based on what is written on the internet as well as what is popular opinion. Everyone except me that is. I have never been one for going by popular opinion. I prefer to get to know the person myself. THEN make a judgment. But I am also not unyielding. I can change my perception, if I were to ever meet the person I am talking about. If I meet them, and I find my online views of that person were wrong, I will often say "I have met (and/or spoken with) that person and (s)he was a very nice person." I always try to meet people in person with an open mind. But also with a lot of caution if I know them to be nasty people online. An excellent example of this would be Catsredrum. If I were to meet her in person, I would try to do so with an open mind. But also very cautiously, since she is known to say some messed-up things. But it could have been just an online persona to make herself look tougher than she actually is. One never really knows until they've actually met the person.

Now, I have to confess one thing. I've never said this before outside my homelife. But I never liked the Hutch fans. Before I go on about that, don't misunderstand me. I have known some very genuinely sweet Michael fans out there. But they are becoming so few and far between now. They seem to be getting very sensitive these days. And I don't like the popular people. I actually like those who are not afraid to speak their mind, no matter what. Those are actually the most sincere people you will ever meet. It's the ones who stay quiet about how they really feel that I worry most about. Or the people who are afraid to go against popular opinions. When I say "popular opinion", I mean like the people who want to censor those who do not like Paula Yates (for example) because they don't want anyone talking bad about Lily's mom. Well, I don't agree with that at all. I say let Lily hear the truth about her mom; good and bad. Paula Yates was not an angel, despite what the Yatesfags want Lily to believe.

I used to be that way. I used to believe in withholding the truth to spare someone's feelings. But I found that was a terrible mistake. People need negativity sometimes. If you never point out a person's bad points, how are they going to learn? I faced that when I used to have a chihuahua forum. People would come in wanting to breed their ugly Taco Bell dog lookalikes and the last thing we need in chihuahuas is specimens that say the Taco Bell look is the best way to breed for in chihuahuas. I held my tongue, but I was not happy with the results I kept seeing from the people in that forum. That was a reflection on me and my own learning process! Even though I had no connection with these people, other than the forum. But the fact these people were breeding dogs with bad legs, long noses, bad bites, and even crossing breeds, it was still a reflection on me. I didn't like that. It told people I wasn't doing my job. So, I decided from then on I was going to always be honest no matter what. And yes, I have lost friends because I am so honest. Even to a point of being brutally honest. Most people especially hate it when you are brutally honest. They call it "negativity". I call it "Something that has to be said for the good of all concerned". Shoot! I even prefer people be brutally honest about me! I'd rather have honest than nice. Trust me when I say I can take it. LOL! I'm very thick-skinned. Normally. I'm still in the process of healing from losing my father. But I am getting better day by day.

I am back on Facebook, but I don't want any INXS buds right now. Now, I am only back on for very close friends and family. That is all. Though I am back on groups. One group I am on is uncensored, which is what I like. The people act like a bunch of rednecks, but at least they are people like me, who are not afraid to speak their mind, and they don't get banned for it either. I remember my first day there, someone was telling me about banned words (from Facebook), and I said "what about the word fag?" He said that was a banned word and added "you might want to remove that". I thought I did remove it, but apparently I didn't. But I didn't get banned for it either. They thought I did though. One guy asked me after I hadn't been on for a while "Are you enjoying that suspension?" LOL! I told him I wasn't suspended. And I wasn't! LOL! I was still there. The fact is, I've used the word "fag" on Facebook before, and nothing happened. I've called the Yatesfags "Yatesfags" right to their faces and didn't get banned. I guess the word "fag" isn't strong enough. Or they know some countries use that word to describe cigarettes. Some people from Australia said I was making fun of gay people when I use the word "fag". I said I thought the Australians would be the first ones to get that joke! I can see Americans making the assumption, but I thought the Australians would be the first ones to understand the connection I made between fire and angry fans. They're the ones who call cigarettes "fags" themselves! LOL!

So to American people, I call angry fans "radicals". To Australians I call angry fans "fags". LOL! That's not censoring. That's making an adjustment to another culture.

I don't know, I'm American. I should always use American terms. But I started this because of INXS, and INXS are Australian. So are most of their fans now. So I use an Australian metaphor around them. I actually got that from Encyclopedia Dramatica, which I think is not there no more. I don't know I haven't been there in quite a while. I lost the link to my page on there. I used to read it when I was down and needed a laugh. I really mean that too. I liked it! LOL! Well, my dad's favorite expression was "smile and the world smiles with you". So, I try to always smile, even when I am feeling down. I'm currently still on the emotional roller coaster. I don't expect that to change soon. But everyone has their own patterns of mourning. I guess because I know and understand that, that people think I am faking my grieving process. But no, the only reason I know it is because I've been there before. Several times. The last 2 times I've lost individuals I love, hasn't been any different than it is now. That's why I expected this to happen. I just need to stay away from these damn social justice warriors when I lose a member of my family or a close friend. That's why I don't want any INXS friends now. Probably never will. I may rejoin some groups, but I don't think I'm going to even try to make any friends with anyone anymore. Except maybe the people who actually spoke with me, instead of acting like the dumbass SJWs and jumping on the anti-TimmyHutchFan bandwagon.

Katrina, wise beyond her years, tells me I need to tell people to fuck off more often. Go back to the "get them before they get me" mentality. My oldest sis says I need to stop associating with liberals. But I guess I refused to believe most of the people I called "friends" were indeed liberals. But they were. I didn't want to face it, but it is what it is. It cannot change. I know the saying that goes when most people don't like you, then the problem is you. But that's only half true really. Sometimes, we pick the wrong kind of people to hang out with too. That was the case for me. I picked liberals, and I don't fit in with liberals. The real problem is I am a unique kind of person. Maybe even one of a kind. It takes a special kind of person to understand me. I've been having fun in this uncensored group. I don't know who I like yet though. But at least there are very few liberals on there. I tend to always find them out. LOL!

We Have A "Thing"

Katrina and I decided to have some fun last night. In minutes, we were laughing. It all started when some catfag, who calls herself Tricia AW, came to my channel and commented. I went to her profile page, and it looked like one of those trolling profile pages that was just slapped together in a hurry just so she could troll anonymously. I don't even believe Tricia is her real name. I kinda got the feeling she is one of those liberal, SJW INXS fans who think I believe cancer is a joke. Though I am not sure, but she sure does sound like one of them. I wouldn't put it past them! LOL! But not only did she attack me, she also attacked Katrina. This was the comment she left on my channel:

Hmm, I had no idea that the only requisite for being a canine-radical is to say negative things about cats. LOL! Like cats and dogs are the only 2 animals in the world, and if you like one, you don't like the other. LOL!! Right off the bat, I could see how dumb this person is. Perhaps I am a lemur-radical. The only problem is, I don't give a shit if other people don't like lemurs. Therefore I don't argue with them about it, and that's what a radical would do. As long as they don't try to change my mind about lemurs. Well, this was my response to her:

And she is. I cannot thank her enough for the many times she has helped me out. But for us, it's a two-way road. She helps me out, I help her out too. Katrina though HATES cats!!!! They've nearly destroyed her property many times in the past. She hates cats even more than I do. She hates them so much she shoots at them with a pellet gun. There's no talking her out of that one. She is a cat-hater for life. LOL! She has this $50,000 car, the strays around her house completely destroyed the convertible top and she has had to have it replaced a couple times that I can remember. One time, one fell through the roof and got stuck in her car when it had a rip in it, Katrina said that cat was in there overnight (at least) and pissed and shit all over the back seat. The strays shit on her driveway and buries them so no one can find the shit until they step on it. The strays scare the birds and squirrels that come to her feeder. Oh yes. Don't ever mention cats around Katrina! LOL! She can't stand them. Her oldest daughter took a liking to cats and wanted one, and Katrina said "Fucking Hell NO!" LOL!

Well anyways, our little visitor last night just seemed to come in and announce how much we spread hate. This was her closing argument:

And this was my response to her:

But since Tricia AW decided to include Katrina in her attack, I thought I should let her know. So what did I do? I called her on the phone (once she was done with dinner) and let her know that Tricia was talking about her. So, she goes into my channel and this was her first comment:

LOL! Basically an "Asshat" is the same as saying "butthead", and I told you all Katrina had the Beavis and Butthead influence! LOL! So, on that note, she and I decided to have a little bit of Beavis and Butthead-style fun at Tricia's expense. All I could say in response to this was she was using Butthead's laugh, and I was supposed to be Butthead.

Well, then Katrina responded to when Tricia said "You and Katrina do have a thing going on":

LOL!! I knew what she meant too. Again, the Beavis and Butthead influence there! She's stuck on that stuff! I had to favorite that comment! Made me laugh so hard!! This was my response to Katrina:

Katrina also responded to when Tricia said "birds of a feather". This is what she said to that:

Again, I knew what she was getting at. LOL! I was laughing so hard at this point, my eyes were tearing up! But I responded to Katrina anyways. This is what I said:

LOL!! Ahh Katrina!!! She is something else! Yeah I know, we're horrible! But we have so much fun being like that! She didn't respond after that, I guess she and her husband wanted some "alone" time. That's OK. I'm sure she'll get to it. But anyways, that was the little bit of fun we had last night.

My Pet Peeves With Vlogs

I like doing vlogs. Vlogs basically are video blogs. I get on camera and talk about my life or some other subject that comes up, like when I talked about Onision chaining his girlfriend to the wall of his basement. But anyways, I've seen some other peoples' vlogs and I've noticed not everyone does them in a way I would want to see them done. Some of the worst mistakes I've seen people make with vlogs are things I want to talk about here. These are things people should NEVER do in vlogs!!! This should be like the Golden Rules of Vlog Creating.

1. LEAVE OUT THE BACKGROUND MUSIC DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!
This is my #1 pet peeve with vlogs!!!! If you are going to do a video blog, NEVER use background music!!! I was once subscribed to this woman (I was also once her friend on Facebook) named Linda Memphis on YouTube, and she had her own variety of vlogs. Well, I am not her friend on Facebook anymore (that's her fault too), and I unsubbed her on YouTube after I found out she unsubbed me. LOL! Well, long story there. But to be honest, I did not really enjoy her videos anyways. The main reason I didn't like her videos much is because she always had to have that stupid background music!! And the music was almost as loud as her talking! If you absolutely MUST have background music in your vlogs, then at least have the decency to make the music barely audible! I often click out of vlogs where the music is too loud. And really, if you feel you have to have background music in a vlog, then your video must be pretty shitty anyways. Which brings me to my next pet peeve...

2. Talk only about things I (as a listener) would find interesting.
While I found Linda Memphis' Tom Jones video to be interesting (it was the most interesting in her video line-up), I have seen other vlogs where people talk about "I got up this morning, I cleaned my teeth, I took a shower, I ate breakfast..." and blah-blah-blah. I don't care to hear about how you get ready in the morning or how you prepare to go to bed at night! Skip that bullshit and get to the real story!!! That's why I clicked on your video to begin with!

3. Some vlogs are too long!
It's different if you are writing a blog, but doing a 20-minute video blog you'd better have a damn good story to tell!! And do more editing in your vlog! Leave out the "umm"s and pauses and little slips of the tongue you have while making your video!

4. Leave out the stupid cats!!!
I know *most* people on the internet like cats nowadays. But that doesn't mean all of us do. I don't care to see your dumb cat!!! Especially if it's a damn gray tabby! If it's a dog I'd love to see it though. But if its a dumb cat, no, I don't care to see it! I'm sure as Hell not going to tell you your dumb cat is "cute"!!! Because most likely, it won't be cute.

Well, those are my biggest pet peeves with vlogs. If everyone followed these rules, vlogs would be a lot more enjoyable.

"Mourning" Sickness

Well, this is a new thing I read about this morning! It's called "mourning" sickness. I've heard of morning sickness, but never mourning sickness. But apparently, it's when a whole mass of people feel sadness over the death of some public figure. While we all feel sad when something bad happens to someone, usually whether we know them or not, I think this term refers to just a deep, melancholy feeling that spreads. The term was coined in 1996, and became more prevalent when Princess Diana died a year later. I'll tell you one thing, I hate the English press! I heard that's why the car crashed that killed Diana, and I know for damn sure that is what made my Michael go over the edge and kill himself. Don't the English know when enough should be enough?! Or are they really that ignorant?

I personally felt nothing when Princess Diana died. Nothing at all. It was just another in a long line of celebrity deaths that happen every year. But I never felt anything for Diana when she got married, when she had kids, when she got divorced, I never followed her life, and so I never felt anything for when she died. I'm not saying I am happy she's gone, I'm just saying that her death meant nothing to me. My ma even got sick of hearing about nothing but her death and funeral for 4 weeks after. It seemed that was all over the news. And all I could think of was "I'm missing my TV shows!" That meant more to me than Diana's dying. LOL! That may seem heartless to most people, but that's the way it is with me. If I don't know the person who died, or I never cared about them, I'm not happy, but I'm also not sad they are gone. I'm just aloof and indifferent. That's just the way it goes.

Well, it's a good thing I didn't mourn over Diana's dying at all. Because just a couple months later, Michael Hutchence died. And you can believe me when I say I cried like a fountain. It was days before my handkerchief was dry again! LOL! I don't know why, but up until around the time Princess Diana died, I hadn't thought anything of INXS. In 1996 I heard about the opium charge brought against Michael, and I remember thinking then how glad I was that I was no longer an INXS fan. I don't know if it was Diana's death that triggered a renewed interest in INXS again. That would really be hard to determine now. Though it is highly unlikely as I wouldn't have seen the connection back then. All I know is, around that time I began to look a little more often at this dust-covered picture I had of them. Whereas before that time, I hadn't even given it a second glance.

I can see Diana's death being covered in the news, and even her funeral. But why the hell did it have to drag on for 4 weeks after???? That, I have trouble understanding. Who cares!?!? How long does it take to announce "Princess Diana died today in a car crash"? What more is there to say? Hundreds of people apparently witnessed it. It should be just like this; Day one: Princess Diana died today in a car crash caused by the lousy English paparazzis who don't know when to back the fuck off! Day 2: Say nothing. Day 3: maybe announce there will be a funeral service for Princess Diana. Day 4: Have the funeral service and cover it on the news. That is all! That's all that needs to be announced. Don't drag it on for 4 weeks! That's what Michael's death was like. And frankly, it was enough for me. I didn't even watch Michael's funeral. Someone I love and cared so much about (I did want to marry him) I can never bring myself to attend his funeral. Let alone watch it on TV. That's just how I am. I know it's weird, but that's just how I am.

To this day, I still have not seen the whole funeral for Michael. Funerals are too final. Like they're gone for good. I don't really like thinking of Michael that way.

Well, Michael was my sole contribution to "mourning sickness". So far. I mean, I don't weep for people I don't know or don't care about. Uhh unless it involves cancer, but that's because cancer SUCKS!!!! I wish cancer would be totally eradicated! Plus, it killed my pa. How can I get over that? But as long as we have cars we will have car crashes. They totally SUCK, but it seems you cannot get anywhere nowadays unless you have a car. And anyways, Diana's death was more because of the paparazzis. I put the blame on them. They need to learn to back the fuck off there in England! My ma still wants to go there. I'm telling her she'd better be careful because the people are just obnoxious!

I used to want to visit the UK. I heard stories about it, and I've seen pics of it and it almost looks like a dream world. But I meet people from there and it's just like I hope I never go there! If I do, I hope to GOD I never meet anyone there. That's the last damn thing I need now!! LOL! Though I do have a couple friends there. That's it, just a couple. And they are nice. But so far, they've been the only ones I've met that were nice. No others outside of them. But then they are not influenced by this radical, Paula Yates bullshit. In fact, one of these friends even said she met Paula Yates, and said she was bitchy and she hated her. LOL! So, she's by far not a fanatic!! That would be the only kind of English person to meet.

I Hate It!

Ya know, a lot of things have changed since I've gotten older. And especially since my pa passed away. I look back on the posts I made in this blog in the past and I think how irrelevant a lot of my thoughts were back then. Even those as recently as 2015. Things that mattered to me back then just don't seem to matter to me anymore. Things I used to have fun doing back then I don't seem to have as much fun doing anymore. I'm even getting to a point where writing blogs is not so enjoyable to me anymore. As I said in my last 2 posts, I've been having much more fun now making videos. I saw a video last night and the guy said that the rare type of YouTuber is those that are only on YouTube because they just love making videos. That's me! I didn't know that was a "rare kind" of YouTuber. I thought that's why all YouTubers are on that site. But I guess not. Some are indeed on there to make money. I've made some. Not as much as some others, but I have made some in my heyday.

Fact is, I was never on YouTube for the views, subscribers, ratings nor the comments. I have less than 400 subscribers. I may never even see 400 subscribers on my channel. I have a few videos that have more than 500 views, one even has had over 100,000 views. But on average, most of my videos receive less than 200 views. In fact, most of them are lucky to even see 200 viewers! But I never cared. I now have over 200 videos on my channel at YouTube. And I do it because I just love making videos. Simple as that! Don't misunderstand me, I do enjoy it when I get new subscribers and comments on my videos. But I am just saying those are not the only reason I am on YouTube. Believe me, if it was the only reason, I'd be saying "Like and subscribe" after each video. And I don't. Though sometimes when I am looking for other opinions on a subject, I will encourage people to leave me a comment. But even those endings are rare for me. I just like doing my own thing.

Anyways, I just hate being so mean! LOL! This morning, I noticed on my Instagram I got a notification from that Statue For Michael Hutchence group. I was like "Why am I still getting crap from these people?!" Then I wrote to them "Why am I still seeing this shit? You dumb bastards kicked me off your shitty group, remember? Fuck this!" LOL! I've been hanging around Katrina too much lately! I'm starting to talk like her now! She always ends sentences about things she doesn't like with "This sucks" or "Fuck this" or even "Fuck you!" Sentences about things she does like she ends with "cool" or "Awesome" or sometimes even "Oh boy!" I know this girl like a book! She hasn't changed at all in the past 20 years! But anyways, I kinda felt a little bad writing a comment like that, because at least one of those people was my friend at one time, and she was a decent friend. I just think, like I said in my video, that her mind went crazy when she became close friends with that radical Yatesfag, Vincent Lamaro! I still don't like him! I want nothing to do with him, and you know what? Katrina believes that is why this Kelly Poulter is so obsessed with me. She brought it up once before publicly, in that group, before I moved into the shelter, and I did invite her to PM me. But she was too much of a coward to do it. One thing I noticed about Kelly P, she has to have everyone on her side. She's so dependent on her friends to stand by her side and defend her. That's why she would not PM me about blocking Vincent. That's why she brought it up publicly in the group. Because she wanted to get her friends all on her side and wanted to make sure they all stayed there.

I am totally the opposite. I do not depend on my friends that much! That's what makes me so strong. Usually! LOL! But I've never been a clingy-type person like Kelly Poulter is. I love my friends and I communicate with them. But I do not count too heavily on them to come to my defense. I can pretty much take care of myself. Normally, I do it very well. But my immunity was weakened after my father died. I was the same way after Groucho (my dog) died, and also after my grandma died. If this drama had happened before my dad even fell ill, like back in 2015, I'd have just laughed it off and moved on. I would have just said that they were just a bunch of social justice bitches and sent them packing with a "fuck off". That's why I decided to leave Facebook. I need time to heal. I'm also working on getting a puppy. The puppy is going to be THE most important part of my healing process. It's actually quite embarrassing when your friends know you as "the strongest woman they've ever met" and you let a bunch of shithead liberals run you from Facebook. That is embarrassing as fuck! And that's not normally how I am!

Well, if it is indeed true Kelly P. does have cancer, I do hope she makes it. Yeah, I'm even questioning if that is really true. But I do hope she gets better if it is, and I hope she takes that as an opportunity to grow up. Stop letting her friends do her thinking for her and start standing on her own 2 feet. Like Katrina said in one of her videos, you can't keep running home to suck your mama's titty every time someone insults you. LOL!! I love Katrina's videos!! Check them out!

Katrina Hates You's videos

Longest Time Away!

Except for the times I didn't have a computer on me, this is the first time I've been away from my blog for so long! LOL! But I am still here. I've just been making more videos than writing blogs. I've been like a kid with a new toy! Because I got a new toy. I got this new video editing program, and I've been having some fun with it. Now that I have it, I've been able to slow videos way down, or speed them up, I've been able to stop videos as well, and make them go backwards too. So I've been having fun! I can do all kinds of things now with videos, and so I've been making more videos and trying to learn all the little tricks I can do with this video editing software. So that is why I haven't been writing more blog posts lately. But I have been having fun! I plan to do more nature videos as well. I also want to make more full-length movies as well. I know for sure I want to make one of the day I get my puppy. If the breeder will let me, I'd love to film the process of picking which puppy I want. I want to put that in the movie. That is the fun part of picking a puppy! I can already imagine my face is going to be like that of a kid in a candy store!

I'm going to get one puppy this year, and another one next year too. LOL! This apartment complex allows each tenant to have up to 2 pets. So I am going to take full advantage of it. I'll get this one now, train it, raise it, train it to my specifications, and next year get another puppy, and the older one can help raise the newer one. That's my plan. Maybe even, as an adult, the older dog can kinda take the newer one under his/her wing. Been in touch with some breeders, and I will be ready to get my baby by the beginning of June.

Anyways, I've even shared this software with Katrina. She had a cute idea for videos too. If my sis wants this software, I can share with her too. I'm trying to help Katrina learn how to use this program. At the same time, trying to learn it myself. She's using her character from UMG Productions to do these videos. People love drama. So, I told her to make her videos dramatic. She's like me, she hates political correctness, she's got the Beavis and Butthead influence, she's cute and funny, so I think she could do good making videos. But I know she cannot do it every day. Only for a little while as she is still off on maternity leave. Although she said she is getting more hours at work. That makes her happy, because she is not used to being cooped up in the house all day. She even said she's put on 30 pounds that she needs to take off.

I also discovered Dailymotion, and they allow you to put up pay-per-view videos. I like that! And lately, I've been using Pivotshare. Don't get me wrong, Pivotshare is a good site. But they charge per minute. Dailymotion doesn't. The only thing I don't like about Dailymotion is the time limit. They only allow you to post up to a 60-minute video. They need to fix that. Some of my movies are longer than that! Like my Montana movie. I might even do that movie over again in HD, now that I have this software! I recommend it if you love making videos and like using special effects! It's from Cyberlink, it's called Power Director and they got version 15 out now. I love it! It does a lot of cool things with your videos!

Back To Video Blogs

I'm still here, just so you all know. I know it has been a while since I last wrote in this blog. That's because I've been having more fun creating videos. I am actually beginning to enjoy making videos now more than writing blogs. People reading words on a screen seems to cause them to misinterpret what is being written, or they make assumptions about what I am writing about. But in a video, it's a totally different story. In a video, you can say things, even sarcastically, and people know by your expressions and tone of voice that you are just being sarcastic. Whereas if the words are just written, they assume you really mean what you are saying. Shoot! That's why I miss having video comments allowed on my videos on Youtube. Not that many people really used that feature, and the last ones that did were a couple of teenagers who wanted to bash me because I'm a fat chick with her own opinion on why fat shaming does not work. But even then, I accepted their video comment because they had a right to their own opinions!

I did respect those teenagers for putting a video up of themselves bashing me though. Not many trolls do that. Most of them go trolling and bitching about how someone else looks and they have no pics or videos up of themselves. A couple days ago, I finished off a battle with this guy who called himself The Blythonian. He's from England. But he was bashing me because I love dogs and I hate cats, so he's a catfag. He hates dogs and thinks everyone else should too. But I cannot help how I feel. Cats are the spawn of Satan. Dogs are not. Look at how cats turn people against each other. I even saw it when my sis and I had cats. We had a cat that had kittens, and I actually grew to HATE those damn kittens!! Because they kept tearing up the house! They kept bringing fleas into the place. I couldn't wait to get rid of those damn kittens! I said I'm going to find whatever homes I can get for them, and I don't care if they are good homes with loving families, or bad homes where the takers feed them to a pet python, I just wanted those damn kittens OUT of my house!! My sis didn't like me saying that, and we almost got into a fist fight because I said that. That is a good example of how cats turn people against each other, which is why I will always believe cats are the spawn of Satan. Not real animals, but demons in disguise. Satan often comes in the form of something cute and overly friendly, so much so that people want to turn against others who don't like them. And ask any catfag why they like cats and they will all tell you "because they are so cute and sweet". It is said that when Satan comes, he will turn man against one another and all things good. Well, cats have done that. You should see some of the nasty comments I get from catfags on YouTube. And ALL of them are for nothing more than because I don't like cats. Also all those same people will tell you that they don't like dogs. And dogs actually love us. There is no logical reason not to like dogs.

I love animals. Not demons. So I don't like cats.

Anyways, The Blythonian began talking loudly about how fat I am and how ugly I am. And not just me! He began to attack Michael Hutchence too. He called Michael ugly and a philanderer, and called Lily Paula's "bastard child". Those were HIS words! And like I always do, I go to his channel to try and observe how much better he looks than me or Michael, knowing he's from England, I don't expect to find much. But I do notice he doesn't have a single picture or video up of himself. So, that night when he tried to bring that shit up again, I told him to shut the fuck up! I said I noticed he doesn't have any videos of himself on his channel so he's obviously hiding something. I told him at least I have the guts to put my ugly self on the internet! I have zero respect for anyone who comments so harshly about how bad I look, and yet they do not show their own faces online because those people are nothing more than a troll. It's like "grow some balls, put up a picture or video of yourself, THEN come to me about how ugly Michael or I look!" And I'll tell you, that troll had better look like a goddamn fucking Adonis!!! Because my Michael is damn-near perfect!

Well, I never heard back from The Blythonian, so I assume he could not handle the challenge. But seeing as how he doesn't like dogs, and he prefers cats, I guess I can safely assume he looks very similar to this...

Or since he's also from England, chances are he probably more looks like this...

Either way, neither one is as good looking as Michael was.

Anyways, I've been having fun making videos over the past week or so. I did one video about the radicals, and why I hate them.

The beginning of this video is rather disturbing, so watch with caution.

I also did one about a pitbull type dog attacking it's owner, and in this one I describe why sometimes I can understand why some people don't like dogs. Though I like dogs, and even pitbulls, what I don't like is bad owners and backyard breeders and puppymillers who breed the dogs that do this kind of shit.

But what has become most famous now are my videos where I talk about Onision. He is a hot topic now. Well, Onision is a radical! And I can't stand radicals! He really burned me up when I found out that he made some girl sign a contract. Not a job contract. But a dating contract. Kindof like a prenup contract. Coming from a feminist, I'd say that is very wrong! No one should sign a "dating contract". I told Onision if he had made me sign a contract before accepting me into a relationship, I'd tell him to shove it up his ass! Especially the fact that he would not let the girl see her family except on holidays. I wanted to rip him a new asshole! Yes, I was triggered!

I had to say something! I barely ever watch Onision's videos. Not much he puts out is worth watching. But ever since Katrina brought him to my attention, I've felt the need to see these and respond to his actions. I have another response video to his pedophile test, and you can see that on my channel.

One last thing; to Michael, Happy birthday boo!! Love ya!! Here's 57 kisses for you!
😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

Angry Millennials

My goodness! And people thought I was an asshole? Wow! And I have nothing to do with this. This is a thread from a video of a guy who is doing the census. No one likes the census, I admit to not wanting to do it myself! But I also know the people who go door to door, taking the census are just doing their job. They have no control over what the government wants. I never wanted to delve into peoples' private lives!! No way! But this was back in 2000 in a small town. I needed a job, and this one was available. But anyways, I made a comment on this video some guy filmed of the census people coming to his house. Yes, I know I probably should have not commented at all, but sometimes you just cannot help it!

Well, the next thing I know, I am getting smashed with a bunch of those over-privileged, internet brave, foul-mouthed millennials my sis has been telling me about. Really!! As if I had any control over how to do the job! I don't know why these people are coming after me over a job that I had almost 20 years ago! Just a bunch of keyboard warriors who just want to kick someone in the gut because they have too much time on their hands! Or because everyone else is doing it. They're talking at me as if I had that job yesterday, and that I had control over what I had to do. I just don't know how else to say it, they're griping to the wrong person. I only had that job once, and that was back in 2000, and I only had it for a couple days. Makes no sense to complain to me, I don't know what I could have done about it. Besides I had a family to take care of. I needed a job, ANY job! It's no different than someone who takes a job flipping burgers for money. Katrina was living with me and my sis at the time, so I had to make sure she was fed and clothed.

Here's an example of some of the hate-filled comments I got on that thread.

My response: Like I said, it's no different than someone flipping burgers for money. Why else would anyone take any job? Money is not going to just come to you if you ask. So, I had to take whatever job I could get. I had bills to pay.

Here's another:

LOL!! I had to laugh at this one! My response is: Well, I really wanted to supervise the launching of the rockets for the United States Space Program, but the census job came along first. Sorry dude, but the bill collectors would not wait for their money!

And to the literal people, that was SARCASM!

There was one that shit I cannot post! I unfortunately blocked him before I saved his comment, but he was trashing me as a person and then said something to the effect of "You want respect for doing that job? Cry, cry, cry, waa, waa, waa! Well fuck you too!" I remember his name was Roger, but don't remember his last name now! Bummer! I tend to block people who sound like they belong behind bars, and he was one of them. I told all these people to leave me alone! I had nothing to do with the job description! I just did what I had to do to take care of my family! Geez!! Now you all can again see why I hate people! Especially these damn keyboard warriors!!

When And How To Be Honest

OK, let me first point out, I am not a liberal. I am not a democrat. I speak my mind too, and yes I have been through drama because of it, so I know how it feels. But Katrina showed me a video of a man named Onision. I just have to say something. I don't care for the guy, and yes I also am known for being something of an asshole too, and I am not exactly calling him a pedophile. Though I do believe, in a small way, he is one. I mean really, he married a teenage girl when he was almost in his 30s! There's something about it that doesn't sound right to me. Anyways, the video was Onision giving people his opinion of their bodies. Well, he says the girls asked for it, so he gave it to them. Yes, I will also give my opinion, and especially if people ASK me! I will give them my honest opinion. And I too say don't get angry at me if you ask me for it and I give it to you. That's what I do. I am an honest person. But my opinion is just my opinion. I do not state it as fact. The only "fact" is that it is my opinion. Opinions are not facts. It is just how one person sees the world, whether it is me or Onision, or anyone else. I think some INXS fans are stupid for thinking I think cancer is a joke, especially since they knew cancer killed my father. But I am sure they don't agree with me that they are stupid. But that's their opinion.

Yeah I know! I just had to throw that ball in the park one more time! LOL!

What ticks me off about the way Onision did his video, is he is dealing with young girls (and possibly young boys). OK, it's one thing to give your most honest, brutal opinion. But what he did was attack children. You are not dealing with adults. You say to an adult "Hey. Your body looks like Shrek's body. You should go on a diet. I would suggest veganism." What's the worst they are going to do? Probably punch you in the nose. But you say to a child, especially one that has been looking up to you as a hero, that her body looks like Shrek's and you find her "disgusting", well, you're going to scar that child for life. What he should have done was think. Think about the person he was talking to. I may be an asshole sometimes, but one thing I have never said to anyone is that I think they are disgusting or ugly or anything like that. Well, usually when I call someone "ugly", I mean it as in their attitude. Unless I am talking about Paula Yates. I never met Paula Yates, although I do know someone who has. So, I can't judge on her personality. But I can talk about how she looks. Yes that is fair, because she is a celebrity. No matter that she has children out there. She put herself out there, just like me. It's like the shark scenario. You go in the ocean, and you may get attacked by sharks. The sharks do not care about your rights, or your children. All it knows is that it is hungry and you are potential food. But you put yourself in a situation where a shark can attack you.

But really, you've got to think of the person you are talking to, especially if they are children. You can be honest without being a jerk. You could have left out the mocking overtones; calling the child "disgusting" and saying she looks like Shrek, and instead just said something to the effect of "I think you could be super cute if you would lose some weight." And leave out the vegetarian-vegan advice! No one asked you for that and you have no right to tell them what to eat!! There are ways you can eat even red meat and still lose weight! Katrina said that if she ever meets Onision, she's going to kick her 3-inch high heel shoe up his butt and pull it out slowly. Those were her words, not mine! LOL!! But she said that people like him are the reason she won't let her kids post pics of themselves online. She doesn't even post pics of her kids online! She told me she never will either. Just to me and my sis, that's it. And her messages are always private.

Well, since Katrina showed me this video, I did a little research of my own. Someone said in a video that one of the girls Onision posted in his online video was the 13-year old little sister of one of his subscribers, and the subscriber asked Onision to remove her picture from the video and Onision wouldn't do it. The fact that Onision used a child's half-nude picture in his video is bad enough, but since the sibling asked Onision to remove the picture and he wouldn't, that kind of thing pisses me off more! Now, I confess to using other peoples' pics in my videos, I recently did a video and put some pics of Tess Obrien in it. But she is a grown woman, and I did not attack her child! I draw the line at attacking children, especially now that I am in my 40s. The video is still up, but no one has asked me to take it down yet. If they did, I might. But hey, it's doing pretty good on YouTube. Onision says these kids posted these pics on his forum under their own will. But he should have said no. If that were my forum, I would have said to the first person that posted pics of themselves half-naked not to do that or they would be banned! Especially if I even suspect it's a child. Onision uses the excuse that "most of" his fanbase is between 18-25 years old. The problem with that is he's going by the stats on YouTube. You can't go strictly by that, because kids lie! Believe me they do! Some get on YouTube to view adult videos! So, they lie about their age. I've heard one person admit that before. Long time ago, some guy who calls himself JackSpicer2311 admitted he said his age was 25-30 on his YouTube profile because he wanted to watch a video of Saddam Hussein's execution. He was really 15 at the time. I saved that video before he went and made it private. I won't post it here, out of respect for him, since he made it private, but anyways, it proves that kids often lie on their YouTube profile so they can watch age-restricted videos. Something to think about, Onision.

Just a few words of advice, not an attack. I'm not a fan of Onision's, never was subscribed to him, he always seemed a bit too edgy to me. But I cannot hate the guy. I won't jump on the bandwagon, I know what it's like myself to have so-called "friends" abandon me. Though I have to say none of them ever met me personally. I pray to GOD they never do either. But if they did, and really got to know me, I'm pretty sure their hostile opinions of me would change. Heck! We don't want to do that, now do we? LOL!! But one thing they can never accuse me of doing, is saying to a child she is disgusting or she looks like Shrek, or some kind of shit like that.

OK, I saw a post from back in 2009, and this yankovich kid did pester me, but he was one fat kid making fun of another fat person. He deserved it. It was more like an eye-opener for him. And I wasn't even in my 40s in 2009! LOL!

Timmyfan Rides The Great Wheel

I finally did it! I finally made my video riding the Great Wheel! I think it's one of my best video creations! But that's my own opinion. Check it out yourself. I actually filmed this in 2013, when I was living in Port Angeles. I had to ride the ferry at one point in the video. But it made for an interesting part of the video. Anyone who wants to travel to Seattle, this makes a great attraction to come and visit.

Happy New Year!

Well thank GOD 2016 is closing. But it could not seem to resist taking one last 80s icon before it closed. It took George Michael on Christmas day. Katrina was saddened by it because she likes him. I'm a little upset about it too, but not devastated. So many celebs fell victim to 2016, this year will always be remembered as the year we lost many celebrities. For me, it wasn't the death of the celebrities that mattered. I stopped crying for dead celebrities after Michael died. After that, no other celebrity death meant anything to me. Michael was my world! My everything. But it was the death of my father that tore me up the most this year. I'll never forgive 2016 for taking him from me. The only thing I am grateful for is that this year did not claim my Timmy!! I was worried though!

I read there was a GoFundMe campaign going on that someone set up to pay this year to leave Betty White alone. Oddly she was the oldest of the Golden Girls, but she is also the only one who is still alive. She is in her 90s though. She just might make it to 100. Maybe even beyond. I miss my pa though. I knew holidays without him was going to be the hardest. It was! The pain was a bit eased up with my sis and the dogs here. Especially the dogs! I even made a video of our holiday! I made it into a movie. Check it out! https://youtu.be/x2pbgkAZzsU

I hope to also make a video when I get my puppy. Like the one I made when my sis got her puppy back in 2000. Only better. But a lot of that will also be up to the breeder I plan to visit. I don't want to include scenes with the breeder, or their house, unless he (or she) is OK with it. I'm not that kind of filmmaker! But I can include scenes of just myself, and later on I can put the puppy on film. I plan to make a weekend of it. It'll be fun! I hope! I don't want anything ruining it! Now, I can hardly wait to get my pup! I can be a happy girl again!

This year has also taught me who my real friends are. I've found most of the people I met on Facebook are not that at all. But then again, most of them were liberals. I hate to say it but a lot of INXS fans are liberals. Well, I know I am probably the most hated INXS fan out there now, but you know what? I really do not care. Truly, I don't! I've been told all my life that I am not very popular, and when I was a kid I admit it, that did bother me. But believe me, it doesn't anymore. I actually like it that not a lot of people like me. I'm happy to say that most of my friends are non-humans. Hey! At least animals do not judge you, they don't turn their back on you when you're in mourning, they don't do what the "popular crowd" is doing just to fit in. The only animals that are likely to stab a person in the back is a cat and I don't have any cats! No plans to get one either. I keep watching videos and movies of people who are betrayed by their human friends, and I've had it happen to me more times than I care to remember, so believe me, I am happy that no person likes me. I just don't like them going around telling everyone that I think cancer is a joke when they are fully aware I lost my pa to cancer! UGH!! Stupid people!

Seriously! Do you think a hyena is upset because it's the most hated animal on the savanna? Do you think a tiger is depressed because the other animals in the jungle hate his guts? Do you think naked mole rats are sad by the fact that humans think they are ugly? My guess to all these would be no. No animal is upset by this kind of thing. It may be traumatizing to a child, but not to me. Of course these animals would not be upset by false rumors being spread around about them either. We tell stories to our children with these animals all the time, the animals don't care. A person can learn a lot from watching and studying animals. In a lot of ways, animals are indeed smarter than humans.

The Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house. Not a creature was stirring, Especially not a mouse! Because I'm gonna tell you, if I saw a mouse in here, I'd really get medieval on the landlord!

Well, we had an interesting Christmas. I got at least one really good gift, my sis gave me a 43 inch TV set! I always wanted a bigger screen TV! I need one. I am having some trouble reading the menu on the smaller one I had. Well, thankfully my sis gave me one. It was the best gift I have received so far this year! I love it! The sound is so crisp and clear! So is the picture! It sure beats the crap out of the other little gifts she gave me. LOL! I love my sis, but she has a habit of getting me some of the shittest things, unless I am there to tell her what to give me. Now, I love lighthouses and I like to paint. I'm no damn good at it, but I do like painting on occasion. But the dragon my sis gave me is a plastic-rubber toy made for kids! What am I going to do with it? LOL! I can't even put my real dragon family up. Hopefully someday I will be able to, I need a curio cabinet first. I guess then I will put this little plastic dragon on display. Why not? LOL!

One of the things that was brought up was my father's will. My ma has been hounding us about that since our pa died. I knew the subject was going to come up! I brought it up while I was there, because I knew it was going to come up sooner or later. I know my pa did have a will. I just don't know what has become of it. I also know bringing it up then was bad timing on my part, but I knew the subject was going to come up sooner or later. I would like to have something of my father's! As it is, I got nothing now. I'm not even sure Kathy has anything that was his. But I don't know what he had that I could inherit. But I'd just like to have something of his back. Apparently he was buried in his uniform, so I don't think I'd be getting that back. LOL! But that's OK! I'd want him to be buried with dignity, not naked! Kathy and her family seems to forget that he was my father before he was her husband. He will always be MY father.

Aahh!! Ya know I never thought this would happen in my family. This is the kind of bullshit that you read about in mystery novels!

I remember while my sis and I were visiting Kathy and my dad, one of Kathy's friends came over, I think her name was Robin or something like that. I did NOT like her! Not even a little bit. She looked so stuck-up and full of herself! She really seemed like a snooty asshole! I'd be shocked my dad would make friends with a person like that. But that's my dad! He wouldn't see that she is snooty. Kathy tried to introduce her to me and my sis, and she didn't even want to meet us. Nevermind that we were Kathy's husband's real children. This Robin just brushed me and my sis off like we didn't matter at all. No condolences to us about our father dying, not even so much as a hello from her. All she said about us was "Yah-yah, I've seen them on Facebook". But she said hello to Kathy's children. Even Anna noticed that. I would excuse it if this Robin was an introvert or something, but Kathy does not make friends with introverts. Kathy does not even like me much, because I am a no-nonsense person. When I say something, I get right to the point. I don't beat around the bush and I don't sugarcoat anything. I say exactly as I feel. LOL! I don't know this Robin at all. I've seen her posts too on Kathy's Facebook wall, but I don't know her and I don't pretend to know her, as she pretends to know me and my sis. But I can tell you, when I did see her at Kathy's home, what I saw from her I know for sure, I don't like.

Frankly, I don't like a lot of Kathy's friends. They're all liberals. I've had enough of liberals, which is why I really do not want any INXS buddies right now. There's some I still email, I enjoy them. But one of the reasons I left in the first place is because I am sick of the fake friends that liberals make. I still have things that need to be resolved. But I am planning on getting a puppy, and my sis has agreed to help me out with that. That's one of the biggest steps in my own rehabilitation. I need to have this puppy!! Some of my friends are urging me to go to a shelter and rescue. Well, I would if I could, if I could find a young pup in the breed I want (I don't do mixed-breeds), but first of all, there is no shelter in this town. Second, I can never find a puppy the age I want in the breed I want right now. So, I am going with a breeder. I want a puppy because I want it trained to my specifications. I figure it'd be the best birthday gift my sis could give me, and she agreed to help me out. Thank goodness! I'd never be able to do it by myself.

All in all though, this Christmas was pretty good. It would have been a lot better if I wasn't so doggone sick!! But I pushed myself, sometimes beyond the limit! We went to the mall on Friday and I almost collapsed, I was still feverish and weak. But I carried on like nothing was going on. We even went to Red Robin and had dinner. It was good! They still have pretty darn good milkshakes! The next day was Christmas Eve and I told my sis to take the day off and I would go shopping myself and get the things I needed. She needed at least one day to relax. While I was out, I snuck in a visit to the hospital, because this sore throat of mine has lasted a month at this point! I never had a sore throat that lasted a whole month! So I wanted to know what was wrong. I did have a fever, and my glands were swollen, so they gave me some medication for that and I am currently still taking it. The doctor wanted me to climb up on the examining table and I said to him "I can't climb up there!" I was way too weak. I took his seat instead! LOL!

Well, the meds he gave me are helping. I feel better today. But I am still weak, so I spend a lot of my time in bed. Still got my Michael and Timmy, but I miss my dogs!!! Vegas is a big licker! I miss his licks and kisses. Minnie does not lick much, but she does give me kisses too. I miss them both! I bawled like a baby when they left the day after Christmas. I miss them so much!

Store Closed

In case you haven't noticed, the INXS store I had on here for a while is now closed. Zazzle, who was the provider, kept rejecting my designs, so I saw no reason to keep the store open. I might try again later on with some drawings of the guys I've made. They cannot really object to drawings. Such a shame! They were good ideas too! But like I said, I might try again with drawings. Better luck with that hopefully. I opened the store because I wanted to see more INXS items available in this country. I'm not talking just about items with the INXS logo on it. I'm talking about items with pictures of the guys on them. I love these guys! I always will! Never again will I allow the actions of other INXS fans to determine my love for these guys. I'll always love them. I'm just going to be a silent fan from now on. No more conversing with other fans, or with outside people. I need to try what Katrina suggested. I need to stop getting so emotionally involved in people online. Kinda hard for me. Even though I am not a people person, it's still in my nature to help others and try to make them feel good. I need to stop that!

Well, I am back on Facebook. I've found it really is the best way to communicate with my family and closest friends. But I am not accepting any INXS friends. Not now. Maybe later. I'm also using a very different moniker, which I won't reveal now. But I am no longer Dee TimmyHutchFan on Facebook. Feels kinda strange not having an INXS related name anymore. I'm just not ready to accept strangers in my life right now. I still need time to heal. So, I only want to surround myself with real friends and family. Yes, I did get to really like some of my former INXS buddies. But I am just not ready for anymore contacts from that side of the fence. I hope they understand that. Again, maybe someday down the road. But I won't ask any of them to become my friend again on Facebook. If they want to be friends, they can ask me. I can't even have a username on Facebook! UGH!!

What's worse is I've still got this confounded flu! It just won't go away! I was hoping by Christmas, I'd be all better. But so far, I'm not. Well, most of the worst of it is gone, I'm just dealing with the after-effects. A lot of coughing! I think I've coughed myself a new throat! Or at least enlarged the old one! It SUCKS!!! It hurts really bad! I've coughed my throat raw, I know that for sure. I used to get colds and flus like this back in the 90s, I haven't had anything like it since 2000. I'd actually forgotten what it felt like to have a flu like this. One time, back in 1996, I had what was the worst damn flu I think I've ever had in my life! It caused blisters in my throat. I've never known a flu could do that! But that one did! Talk about pain! You want to know what real pain is, get a flu like that one and it'll quickly show you pain! Now, I can't really talk. I need to make one more video for my Christmas Cookies collection! And I can't! Not without a voice! 😭 I'm thinking maybe I can just film it, and then add the vocals later on. I've done that before. I wasn't comfortable doing it because it's not normally my style. But I can do it. I'll probably have to. These peppermint meltaway cookies are too good to keep to myself!

Well, that's all that was going on. Not much! I cannot really go anywhere! I still need to go out and get a bed and chair for my sis when she visits. This isn't easy! Trying to get all this shit done and nurse a cold is not easy! I cannot even promise I'll find a chair. I didn't see one the last time I was at the thrift store. So, I don't know if I'll find one. But I can for sure get a bed.

Gracie's Odyssey (A Sample)

Another videobook sample. This is Gracie's Odyssey, it's probably one of my most favorite stories in our line-up. The reason I love this story so much is because it was begun shortly after Michael died. My buddy Cairo wrote the story based on how I was feeling about the death of Michael Hutchence. If you knew me back then, you would be able to see the connection between myself, Gracie and her baby in this story. I was sad at first when I heard the news, then angry. I hadn't yet come to terms with Michael's death at the first moment this story was written. I think if I had, I'd have had Cairo kill Gracie off in the story too. But then thinking back on that, I think that really would have hurt the story.

The funny thing about this story is there are 2 versions. There is an original, which is not what this one is, where Davy is taken to live in a group home for animals. It is the same group home Gracie actually lives in in the story INXS Goes to Mount St. Helens. But that story did not really set well with me. Though the idea is much the same. In this version, which is actually a much later version I thought up, he is still a baby when he leaves the zoo, and is taken to live with a man and his daughter. The daughter, named Lisa, becomes Davy's keeper, and his surrogate mother. That one is a bit far off from my feelings about Michael, and more based on how I believe Lily would feel, being taken in by Bob Geldof. She was indeed lucky he was there.

Well, the one scene that stays the same in both versions is the quarantine station. It happens to be my favorite scene. It's Davy's first night in the new zoo without his mom. It's a reminder of how lost I felt the first time I heard about Michael's passing. I remember I could not cry right away. It didn't hit me until several hours after I heard the news. Then I cried hard. Just like the baby in this story once he realizes his mom is not there anymore. Michael is everywhere in this story, without actually being in the story it's self. But his memory is there. How I dealt with his death is there too.

This story is merely a sample of the original videobook. To view the full version, go to this link: http://www.umgproductions.com/2010/05/gracies-odyssey.html

Another Loss

I haven't been eating much this past week. I've been unable to swallow for the most part, so eating much was not an option. And this flu besides has taken away most of what was left of my appetite. I just wondered how much I may have lost this past week alone. So, I stepped on the scale. I managed to lose 10 pounds this past week. Normally, I would be excited, but I hate losing weight this way! 10 pounds in one week is a lot! Too much! But it's this flu. I'm trying to get over it. I had to go out today and get some lysol to spray around the house. My sis is coming over soon with the dogs and the last thing I want is to have her catch this bug! Believe me, she wouldn't want none of this! I also managed to pick up a few other things as well. Not much though. But I did get some wrapping paper. Other things can wait till my sis comes, we're going to Portland.

Well, usually when I lose weight, I lose it from my face first. But now, you'd never be able to tell. My glands are still so swollen, it makes my face and neck look bigger than it really is! So I look horrible!! That's why I haven't done another Christmas Cookie video. I still want to do at least one more. My sis loves my peppermint meltaway cookies, so I am going to do a video on how to make those. I got the ingredients for that too while I was out today. They are very attractive cookies when done. Before Christmas, I want to post all my Christmas cookie videos on my cooking blog. I did some last year too. Another thing I would like to try and make a video doing is making my homemade mousse. That's awesome. It's kindof a complicated recipe, but it's a great Christmas dessert.

Oh well, just thinking out loud here, for the world to see. Not much to say. I really should have stayed home today, but I couldn't. I had to get out. I'm feeling a little better, so at least I won't get sicker. I shouldn't. My biggest fear though is that there were so many people at the store today, I may have passed this flu anyways to almost everyone in this town!