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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Conspiracies And Toilet Talk

Do you think the government is really out to get us? I've heard some very scary things about the government lately. The biggest thing is the 9/11 conspiracy, everyone seems to believe the government bombed the Twin Towers on purpose. I just don't understand that! Why would the government deliberately bomb a building full of innocent men, women and children? I was actually on the fence about that theory until I found out Patti was in favor of blaming the government for that disaster, and Patti is a fucking lunatic! So, if it's something Patti believes in, it has to be phony! Or something that only a dumbass would believe! The only reason I was once on the fence about that belief was because of a documentary I saw, a few ideals did make some sense and put some doubt in my mind, like the thing about metal in the building not melting in spite of the heat. But then again, I know the world is not all black and white. That would make me look like those damn radical vegans if I thought that! No, there is probably a better reason the metal in the building did not melt. There could be thousands of reasons the metal did not melt! But if it's things like that that puts doubt in a person's mind as to whether the planes crashing into the WTC was real or not, then a person like that is to be pitied, because they are only looking at a small part of the bigger picture.

As an artist and a perfectionist, I have learned to see the world in the bigger picture. Still the question always lingered that if that was really concocted by the government, why kill thousands of innocent people??? Another fact the documentary pointed out was that George Bush did not look at all surprised when he got the news that the Twin Towers had been bombed. I saw the video of him after he had received the news, and he may not have looked surprised. But he did have a look on his face that was like "oh no!" But conspiracy theorists did not catch that. My guess is they are not as good at reading facial expressions as I am. I've spent my life learning to read facial expressions, and reading the tone in peoples' voices. I can tell if someone doesn't like me, probably before they know it! I wasn't great at it when I was a little kid, but my predictions about things like that now are almost impeccable. And I could tell George Bush did not know that airplane was going to crash into the WTC. And he did NOT plan it!

I don't know, maybe they expected Bush to be surprised. Everybody reacts to tragedy in different ways. Maybe Bush's initial reaction was shock. Maybe that's normal for him. My initial reaction when I heard my grandma passed away was pretty much the same. I was in shock. I did not hold my hands to the sides of my face, bug out my eyeballs and hang my mouth wide open, like Kevin from Home Alone became famous for. I did not laugh, or smile. I didn't get an angry look on my face. My expression was much like Bush's was when he got the news the WTC had been attacked. Plus you have to remember George Bush was in a classroom with a bunch of little kids. I'm sure he felt he had to keep it together for their sake. He didn't want to alarm the children over what was happening in New York.

I know what the Obama supporters are probably thinking. They're thinking "If Obama had been present at the time, you would have said he didn't look surprised either" which would have likely led to the notion that I would believe then that Obama was responsible. I admit I do not like Obama at all. But even if he had been president at the time of the 9/11 attacks, I would still not believe he did it. Because I just do not believe that it was an inside job! I admit a lot of questions have been put in my mind about why such and such happened, but the one question I always go back to is why would the US government want to kill thousands of innocent civilians? And in such a horrible way? People who believe everything bad that happens in this country is the work of the government make me sick! Now, I've even heard the Sandy Hook shooting was an inside government job. Also, people think the Boston Marathon bombing was also an inside job. Gimme a break!!! That's why these people piss me off who think that! Seems there is nothing that can happen in this country that the government isn't responsible for, including bad things. Is this because of the warmongers that say things like this that now everybody believes it?

I am beginning not to like this country at all. Too many people like Patti, who are gullible, fascist dumbasses and socialist bullies! Two very great reasons I am so glad I am no longer living with her. And I only had to suffer for 4 days. For that, I am grateful to GOD. Donna is better than Patti by a longshot!! There aren't any words in the English language to describe how much better Donna is than Patti!! Hitler would have been a better roommate than Patti! But then again I don't know, the way she acted I'd swear Patti was the reincarnation of Hitler! LOL! I won't say sometimes Donna doesn't have her moments, but she is nowhere NEAR as bad as Patti!! Not even close to being near as bad! Well, things could have been worse with Patti. I could still be living there! LOL! Of course I wouldn't have. If she'd have kept up her bullshit, I'd have ran away eventually. I couldn't live with a person like her for long.

Now, I am beginning to believe her asking me to move in with her was something of a conspiracy. So many things while I was there pointed to it being a conspiracy. Who could have perpetrated it, I don't know for sure. It might have been the dirty dozen mob. They did mention Patti on this complaint they posted about me on the Complaints Board. Whether they actually talked to her or not, I don't know. Even if they did talk to her, they'd believe everything she says because she does not know them, and does not hate them yet. And no doubt she told them a lot of lies about me. Well, some things she was honest with my ma about. I did overflow the toilet there. But that was probably Patti's fault too. I think I was poisoned while I was there. But I am thinking Patti probably told her brother and maybe my ma that I flushed a feminine napkin down the toilet. She told me she thought I had. And Patti was one of those very unfortunate types of people that once she gets an idea in her head, no matter what proof is brought up against it, it stays there! No reason for it, no proof to back it up, just Patti's own warped belief system.

I don't know why everyone thinks just because the toilet overflows that a woman flushes a feminine napkin in the toilet. I've overflowed a lot of toilets in my day (sounding a little too much like Undertakerfreak1127 here) but I never once even thought about flushing down a feminine napkin! I never even heard of that. I asked Donna about that once and she said you used to could do that. LONG ago! But as long as I have gone through cycling, I've always heard if you flush them, it'll clog the toilet. So I never did it. My problem that night was I got sick, and I was puking out both ends. Part of it was semi-solid, the other part was runny. And bleeding, but I won't get into that! LOL! But anyways, just what I did in that toilet alone that night made it's water level higher than usual. But it was the semi-solid stuff that was having trouble flushing down. There was too much of it. It was the consistency of hard ice cream, but not over-all solid. That was why the toilet clogged that night. But Patti just continued to believe I flushed a feminine napkin down the toilet, and there is very little doubt in my mind that is what she told her brother and my ma. I thank GOD Donna is not like that!!

I was watching a couple of videos someone posted up about how to handle bullies, and I was remembering Patti, who so far has been the last person to bully me. But I have been bullied by other kids my entire life. When I was in kindergarten and first grade, I usually fought back. But by the time I was in third grade, I guess I got tired of fighting my own battles, so I let other kids do it for me. I was lazy! LOL! There had been times I wanted to fight back! Believe me! One kid I'd had trouble with since the third grade was a boy named Paul. He was the kid with the deformed head (NOT the one who was my boyfriend), yet he used to call me ugly. Not saying he was wrong, just saying he was no better looking than I was. It was obvious he said that only to make himself feel better. Maybe his stepfather told him every day he was ugly. So Paul took that out on me because I was too kind-hearted to tell him off. I remember one day, I was walking through the gym room in high school. I was a sophomore, and Paul was a junior. Well, Paul was walking behind me, and he was shouting obscenities at me, calling me names, saying things to the effect of "hey baby, wanna fuck?" Well, I reached the exit door before Paul did, and when I got out the door, I stood back and waited!

I knew Paul would eventually come out that door, and when he did, I was going to KILL him!! I was ready to! I was going to grab him by the throat, throw him to the ground and punch him in the face until my arm got tired. I was so mad, I wasn't even thinking straight! I'd had to endure all kinds of abuse from this fool since third grade, and I was ready for a show-down. I had literally reached my limit with him at that moment. I never did anything to Paul. I always left him alone. He was always the one who would come up to me just to harass me. Well, this day I had HAD it!! I was ready to kill him. I waited for him behind that door, and I had my hands tightly clenched in fists, my teeth were burning, I was literally hot in the head, I was ready for him. When the door opened, I said to Paul, as my teeth were still grinding (yes, I was that mad) "You want to fuck with me? Let's do it!" I was looking at him straight in the eyes. But Paul started whining, pleading for his life, saying things to the effect of "Nah, I would never say anything bad about you! You're my friend!" I told him I am NOT his friend, and don't insult me like that! He proceeded to tell me he was talking about another little boy that was there in the gym. I said "You were calling a boy baby asking him if he wants to fuck?!" Paul couldn't get me to believe that in a million rosaries!! But I believe Paul knew I was there to kill him. Somehow though he had the grace of GOD on his shoulders, because I somehow got talked out of beating the living piss out of him. He told me he wanted me to draw him a picture of a unicorn. I told him it would cost him $20. So he told me he would bring the money to me the next day. I guess that's why I let him live.

Well, I never did see that $20. Not that I ever expected to. But that's OK. I never drew the picture either! LOL! I'll tell you one thing, after that day, Paul never bothered me again. But I was going to do that without thinking. This guy on the video, he was talking about a bully he knew in school who, while he was in gym class jogging, the bully pushed him from behind, knocking him down to the floor. So he got back up and pushed the bully down to the floor. He did it without thinking. It was not premeditated or anything, he just temporarily lost his mind. Bullies tend to do that, push their victims to their limit and beyond. The bully looked at him as if he was surprised. Well, when you think about getting even with a bully, it does things to you. When you do it without thinking, it surprises the bully. The guy on this video said that bully never bothered him again after that. So, that was good! But he added he never would have done anything if he'd just stood there and thought about it. I remember that third night I had with Patti, after I had been sicker than a dog all day long, and she trapped me in the kitchen, would not let me go back into my bedroom, I wanted to punch her smug little grin off her face. The only thing stopping me from doing that was #1, she was a lot older than me, and #2, what would my ma and stepfather say if I was kicked out of that house because of that?

That's what happens when you try to think about how to handle a bully. But my biggest consolation for that night was that I was not the first one who probably ever wanted to punch Patti in the face. She told me her ex-husband was a beater too. Well, after that night with Patti in the kitchen, I finally understood why he beat her!! I'm not a violent person, and I almost beat her up too! I came within millimeters of telling Patti "Ya know, I am not an angry or violent person, but right now, you are beginning to really piss me off!! You've been non-stop bitching at me all fucking day! So if I were you, and didn't want to get hurt really bad, I'd march my ass right back up those stairs to my bedroom and leave me alone!" But again, morality stopped me from saying that. Bummer!! Damn morality!! LOL! That would have pretty much been the same scenario as I had back in high school with Paul. It takes a lot to piss me off really, and I do not like fighting, but when I am pissed, watch out!! I become Tsunami Timmyfan!! Especially if I am not thinking straight. hehehe!
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