One Full Year

I can hardly believe it will be a full year this month that I moved in with ol' Patti. You know, I still have the emails she sent me. I put up an ad on Craigslist looking for anyone who might have had an apartment or room to rent me, and Patti answered my ad. She was one of several, but the reason I consented to move in with her was because first of all, I thought we had a lot in common. I had no idea she was really lying to me at that interview. Second of all, she lived closer to Ocean Shores, and I wanted to go back there so bad. I'd missed it living in Bozeman for a whole year. Far as I know, I did everything right. Those I did not do right, seemed to make Patti fly into an extreme rage, and place unrelenting doubts in her mind.

When I moved in with her, I was moving in blind. She had no set rules for that house, there was no contract signed and no money exchanged hands. When it came to food, she was dirty! She would put her mutt's food dish down on a cutting board that I was supposed to prepare food on, and that food dish had been outside, where the cats piss and shit, and birds take a shit, and there were bugs and mice, and the food dish was covered with the mutt's hair. And she wanted me to ignore that and eat toast that had been where that food dish was. And if there's still any doubt in your mind why I wanted out of that barbecue she wanted me to invite my mother and stepfather to, I looked on that grill, and there was a pair of dirty old work boots sitting right on the grill. No doubt they had been in areas where there were chickens and other animals, and I don't believe Patti would have gotten that grill clean enough to be safe to cook on. I prayed every day to GOD to get me out of that barbecue, and I truly believe HE answered my prayer when Patti kicked me out. Because I truly believe that would have been the only way out of that.

I remember after breakfast that first morning, I told Patti I wanted to sweep the floor, and it was a darn good thing I did! It felt nasty to walk on. When I swept, I noticed there was 3 inches of dirt on the floor. I didn't have to clean, like I said, there was no contract. Patti's brother told her he wanted a contract signed, but Patti didn't want to do it. So, I didn't have to do any chores I didn't want to. I was not bounded to. The only reason I did them was because I wanted to. But since no contracts were signed, I could have said no to Patti, and there was nothing she could legally do about it, except throw me out, since it was her (brother's) house. In the end, I got what I wanted. She did look shocked when she told me I was being kicked out and I said "cool!" hehehehe!

You know what is strange? The very day I was kicked out of Patti's brother's house, I got an email. In fact, it was some time after she told me that I was kicked out. It was a strange email. Someone answered my ad, and said they were from Elma. Well, I happen to know Patti's brother had moved to Elma as his house was being sold. The strange thing about the email was it was from someone else who lived on a farm in Elma, and they said I would have to pay them $450 a month (which is what Patti was asking) and I would have to get up every morning to work on their farm. This person said they didn't want any slobs, or anyone who wants to live a soft life. I saw that email, and I said "Fuck them!! If I have to work on their farm, they should be paying me to live there! Not me paying them!" I threw that email away, and did not even respond.

Later on, I actually figured out it must have been either Patti or her brother that sent me that email. The fact the person (who apparently didn't know me) mentioned the word "slobs" gave it away. The email may even have been written by a friend of Patti's, that she put up to emailing me that sappy offer. I wouldn't put it past Patti to do something like that. She was just crazy enough. I wouldn't move in with another one like Patti though if she promised to pay me $1000 a month. The only time I will ever move in with anymore roommates is if I own the house, and I set the rules. Then I will get to pick who I live with. But NO ONE like Patti ever again!!! In fact, I intend to look deep into the person's background, contact all living family members and see what they are like. Sometimes the family is a good indication of what that one individual is going to be like. Patti, for example, told me she has one sister that is a hoarder. A person who hoards is screaming for help. They have some real problems in their life. Plus, the thing Patti mentioned about her ex-husband being a beater. Normal women do not marry a man who beats them. And most who do, married the man after only knowing that person for a few weeks. That's definitely a sign that person is crazy. Also, I remember there was this picture of a very ugly woman on Patti's brother's desk, and it looked like there was once a man in the picture that had been cut out. It might have been Patti's father. And he wouldn't have been cut out unless there was some deep, dark resentment toward him from the family. Another good indicator that Patti's family has some major problems.

Well, I learned my lesson. Stay away from lonely, childless, 50+ year old women who claim their husband beat on them. They are not right in the head! Before I moved in there though, I thought it was going to be my dream place. At least until I could move to Oregon. But after I moved in, there were so many things I found out was wrong that I had no idea about before I moved in. I couldn't even use the dishwasher because Patti said running the hot water was too expensive. She was definitely a penny-pincher. She could pinch a penny until Abraham Lincoln turned blue! Patti did not know I used the washer and drier while I was there, or she might have made me wash my clothes in the river and dry them on a rock! That would have really sucked!! Believe me, she did not hurt my feelings when she ordered me to move out! I would have been more depressed if I'd had to stay there any longer! I was depressed enough that my ma wouldn't come and get me that night, and I had to stay there for another night. When my ma came the next day, I was so excited and relieved to be going back to them. That was sheer delight!

Well, that was a year ago. I haven't seen Patti since. Not that I miss her, or want to see her. I pray to GOD I never see her again! I don't even want to hear from her again. She's out of my life, I'm grateful, and thankful to GOD for getting me out of there. I like where I am now, I enjoy it. And the people here are so helpful. Even though for the most part, I keep to myself. My new neighbor, his name is Michael, even has a fascinating dog. It's a medium Portuguese Podengo. It's a rather rare breed, his is named Pete. And he is cute!! He was amazed I know what a Portuguese Podengo is. I've been studying dogs for a LONG time! Over 30 years. When you've been studying dogs that long, there are no breeds that surprise you. The only things that surprise me are these designer mutts. But they aren't breeds. They're just mutts that stupid people put these weird names on to make them sound like official breeds so they can charge thousands of dollars for them. I think I am even becoming close friends with my other neighbors, John and Lori. They're pretty cool, and John has helped me quite a bit since I've been here.

Ya know, my father does not like me asking them for help, but Lori came to me one day and asked me why I haven't asked John for anymore help. She said he likes helping me out. He really cares. And I don't mean "cares" like in Patti's lingo. To Patti, "caring" means to control me and butt her nose into my business. But Lori and John are nothing like that! And Lori loves Vegas and Minnie. In fact I am going to let her take care of the dogs while I am over to my partner's place bringing him back here. I know the dogs will be taken care of.

My Versions of Christmas Songs

I did a little project this morning. I'm taking popular Christmas songs and putting my own words to their tunes. I write about things I know. I must say my work has been very creative. But that's me, I love creativity. I wish I could always be creative. I was watching Herbie Rides Again last night, and I was reminded of ol' Andy, back in Bozeman. I even wrote a psalm about him. He looks just like Keenan Wynn, who always played a Mr. Hawk. He even has his temper. The resemblance is totally uncanny. Anyway, this is the song I wrote about him, to the tune of Frosty the Snowman:

Andy the blowman

Was as stinky as could be

Never took a bath

And talks lots of crap

Cuz he’s not like you and me

Oh…

Andy the blowman

Likes to have sex with his dog

Makes a pass at one

And the women run

Cuz his face looks like a hog

He must have skipped his bath that day he whooped and raged about

For when he charged right through those doors, his stench nearly knocked me out

UGH…

Andy the blowman

Is a pedophile you see

When he gets all wild

He will rape his child

Then he has a jubilee

 

See, this is creativity. Andy wouldn't know what that is. To him, being creative is calling fat people "fat" or calling an animal lover a "cow" and telling fat people they need to lose weight. LOL!! But his was just the beginning. I made one for Vegas too, sang to the tune of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer:

Vegas the spotted Booby

Had some very tiny feet

And if you ever saw them

You would even say they’re sweet

All of the other boobies

Didn’t seem to have a prayer

When Vegas would walk by them

All they did was sit and stare

Cuz when Vegas showed his feet

His mommy would just squee

“Vegas with your feet so small

I love to hug you like a doll”

Oh how his mommy loved him

As she shouted out with glee

“Vegas the spotted booby

You have got such teeny feet!”

Let me clarify, in my language, "booby" refers to any small dog. I call them all boobies, because they are just so darn cute!! And the use of the word "blow" when I am referring to Andy, means "obnoxious" or "damned". Enjoy these!

Onision Is A Liar!

It's official! Onision is a fucking liar! Seriously, I knew before he was a pedophile, and there really was a hint of doubt that he is a liar and a manipulator. I didn't think he was that good at doing that. Then I saw one of his debate videos, where someone said he was banned from Vidcom. Onision dug his own grave with that debate. He said he was banned from Vidcom for his own safety because people were threatening to go to Vidcom and throw meat, milk and eggs at him. I believe people may have threatened to do that, but I don't believe Onision was banned for that reason at all. He was banned because he's an asshole and probably flirted with young girls in their teens. Who really knows? Onision won't admit it. He maintains that he was banned for his own safety. Let me tell you something about that. NOBODY is EVER banished from ANYWHERE for their own safety!!! If someone is going to be banned from any event, it would be the people making the threats, NOT the VICTIM!! Someone may have advised Onision not to go to Vidcom, but I doubt he was banned for his own safety. So, I know he was lying about that!

I remember when I went to the Schnitzer Hall in Portland for a special INXS concert/meet and greet, someone alerted me that the delusional mods were talking about me attending that concert, and told me to be careful because of it. But I was not banned for my own safety from going there. That's because that just does not happen. As he always does, Onision is covering up something that he did that he shouldn't have done at his last Vidcom. The delusional mods did not keep me from going to that concert. I would not have cared if they threatened to jump me from behind a building, I was not going to be swayed from going to that concert. Not by them anyways. The only thing I would ever let keep me from going to a concert is INXS themselves. And if that ever happened, and I knew why, I would not be saying that I was banned for my own safety.

That's what I find totally annoying about Onision, he uses words and phrases to cover up his evil doings, and he calls it "comedy". If you look at the video he did after he killed his pet tortoise, you will see him constantly contradicting himself and making up excuses. Check it out!

Onision Goes Full Retard

Not only that, but several people called the WA state Animal Control Welfare office on him and reported that he killed his tortoise in a cruel and vicious manner. Then Onision has the gall to say that his tortoise did not die because he baked it to death, that it had a panic attack instead because of construction noises going on in his neighborhood! UGH that makes me mad!!! I want to wring Onision's neck for that one!!! Tortoises do not die of panic attacks from construction noises! Not in a matter of 2 or 3 hours!! Their metabolism is so slow, it would literally take days for a tortoise to die if it had a panic attack!! And tortoises, like dogs and cats, can get used to anything in their environment, including construction noises. The workers would have had to be within inches of that tortoise in order to even remotely cause it to have a panic attack!! I know animals, I've been studying animals a LOT longer than Onision, or any of his fanboys, have been alive. And I can tell you all now, putting a plastic bin over the tortoise for 3 hours is going to cause it to bake. It was 75-80 degrees in Seattle that day, I remember, I was here. That means it would have been over 100 degrees in that plastic bin. Yes a tortoise can handle that heat, but NOT for 3 hours!!! The most a tortoise would bask in heat like that would probably be 30-40 minutes, then they start looking for shade.

This young lady calls out Onision's actions, and she said she was the first to call Animal Welfare in Seattle:

Onision Murders an Animal and Tries to Justify It

Its nearly an hour long, but what she says is interesting. Onision needs to learn to take responsibility for his actions, instead of sitting around, making excuses, and calling everyone who knows more than he does "dumb", "stupid" or "retarded". Oh! And my favorite one: "haters". Onision does not understand what a "hater" is! He doesn't have any real "haters". He has people who simply call him out on his bullshit. He should take a lesson from me. If I am wrong, I admit it. If I am proven wrong. And I don't try to make up any excuses, and I don't try to hide it. The dirty dozen thinks I try to hide it. But then again, the dirty dozen thinks "Maan" doesn't exist, and they know damn well he does. They just don't want to admit that they know who he is. But if I am wrong, I admit it and if I feel the other person's claim is true, I apologize for being wrong. For example, the people back in Bozeman, after the dirty dozen mob showed them this blog. The ONLY person I apologized to was Deb, because she proved me wrong. But I did not apologize to anyone else. Not Kim, not Andy, and not Mike, nor anyone else! And even Deb eventually found out that I was right about Mike. They are divorced now! hehe! But I refused to apologize to him because he was in fact acting like an asshole. He acted like an asshole at the time I wrote those blog posts about him to me AND my dogs! Karen was there, she saw and heard it all. If Mike had apologized to me and my dogs, I might have said I was sorry to him, and took those posts about him down. But he didn't. Instead, he started growling at me like an animal, which only proved to me that my instincts about him were correct.

But the point is if I am wrong, I admit it, I take it back, and I don't do the same thing again, and I don't make any excuses why whatever happens, happens. But Onision makes excuses every step of the way, and interrupts people who talk to him, and he tries to justify his actions by making up lies, like the Vidcom thing. I get so frustrated watching his videos, and he is expecting a child! I can only hope that his present wife will have the good sense to take her child and leave Onision. I pray she does. Hopefully she will watch some of these videos that expose Onision. But more likely she won't. Her child will probably be 7 years old before she finally gets the message. By that time, Onision will have a much bigger impact on that child's behavior than would be acceptable. Pray for that child! That's all I can say.

Seattle Pets?

Ya know I look through the classified ads every now and then at the pet section. Don't ask me why, I am currently not in the market for a pet. My partner will be coming here soon, and we are going to be moving to another rental. I already have 2 dogs, and though I do get easily tempted to get another one, I know if I do get one, it will be impossible to find a rental home that will allow me to keep all of them. So I'd better hold off until we can buy a house before I go and get anymore pets. Sometimes when I look through the classifieds, I see ads from Seattle Pets. They are not really in Seattle, they are located in Shoreline, and I know who the owner is, a woman named Maggie Hill. She breeds poms. As far as I know, she doesn't show them, and I don't think her dogs are even AKC registered. Not sure though. But when I visited her back in 2001, she didn't have any Pomeranians that I thought were very attractive.

She was also not very knowledgeable back then. She had a lavender and white parti pom and she didn't know how to breed to produce puppies with that color. So she was breeding for color more than quality. Anyways, I do NOT like Maggie!! She was a very pushy person! I kinda wonder if she still is? Well, she now sells her puppies through this dumb shop that she opened, no longer out of her house anymore. And she only sells by appointment only. Now, you have to meet her at that shop, and you are totally obligated to buy the puppy you are going there to see. That much, I do know about Maggie. How? From personal experience. My sis and I answered an ad she put in the paper back in 2001 for Pomeranian puppies. Maggie told us back then that she had a black and white baby that was marked like a border collie. We both thought that would be interesting to see. Maggie also claimed she had a wolf sable pom, the kind that look like miniature keeshonds. We decided to go and have a look. But we had other appointments to look at other pups, and wanted to go to those first. When I am in the market for a puppy, I like to shop around. I don't like taking the first puppy that I see. This is also why I prefer to answer ads that have pics in them, then I can at least see before I go there what their pups look like. THEN I go and meet the breeder and the puppies to make my final decision. If I don't find a puppy that suits me perfectly, I leave.

Well, during one of our appointments, my sis and I saw a black and tan pom at another breeder's that we thought was just gorgeous!!! But it was already sold to someone else. My sis said that was what she wanted, was a black and tan Pomeranian. I knew Maggie bred poms and she was on our list of breeders to visit that day. So, we were going there and if she didn't have any black and tan poms, I figured maybe she would know someone who did. She sounded like a legitimate breeder before we got there and met her. She told us that she works with a group of breeder friends, so I figured she would know of someone who had black and tan poms like my sis wants. So, when we got there, we met Maggie, she seemed like a nice person at first. She showed us her Pomeranians, and she had some litters on the ground. Back in those days, she bred these dogs and sold them in her garage. I didn't know anything back then about puppymills, backyard breeders, and dog brokers. We looked at her poms, and noticed a lot of them had long noses, more like shelties, than poms. She showed my sis the black and white baby she had for sale, and cute as he was, he was not what she was looking for. Maggie asked her if she likes that puppy, and my sis said yes. So Maggie said "Good." and she made out like we wanted to buy him. I told my sis to think about it. We still had other pups to look at.

I saw what Maggie called a "wolf sable" pom, and it was not a wolf-sable. It was actually an orange sable. It had the beginnings of orange highlights on it's body. It was obvious Maggie did not know what she was doing. Surprising, since she told me she had been breeding poms for 25 years at that time. I wouldn't say Maggie's poms were ugly, but they did not look like purebred poms. Most of them looked like pom/sheltie crosses. Anyways, I asked Maggie if one of her associates had a black and tan Pomeranian available, and she took down our name and phone number and told us she might know someone who will have one soon. I told her if she ever does find someone who would have one to let us know, because that was what my sis wanted. So, Maggie did say OK, and she would call us when she found out for sure. Funny thing about visiting Maggie, she seemed to push us out of her garage as we were leaving, and she was in quite a hurry to slam the door on us after we were out. My sis and I barely got a chance to thank her and say good bye. But we didn't think anything of it then. I just figured she was just busy and had to get back to what she was doing.

For 2 or 3 months, we didn't hear from Maggie, and then one morning she called us and left a message on our answering machine. Incidentally, this was the morning my sis and I planned to have a yard sale. We were finishing off selling all of the things that belonged to my grandma, who had just passed away at that time. So, I told my sis we would call Maggie back when the sale was over. I had a hard day myself. I had to drive downtown to take 2 of my dogs to the vet. It was one of those freebie vet clinics, so you had to wait in line to be seen. Luckily it wasn't an emergency, but I was there waiting for 4 hours! Romeo had a cough and Bambi was pregnant, and I just wanted to make sure she was OK. Well, we eventually got seen by someone, Romeo got some cough syrup for dogs, and Bambi was checked out and she was fine. I figured I would get back home in time to help my sis close the yard sale. Then afterwards, we would call Maggie back and go see this little black and tan Pomeranian that she said was available to see if we like it enough to bring home.

When I got home, my sis had already begun to close the yard sale, and so I went and helped her finish. We both had a hard day. but we sold a lot of stuff and made over $100! I figured that was just enough to help us get that puppy, so we were quite excited when we called Maggie back. Since this was my sis' puppy, I let her call Maggie. My sis was on the phone with her and all I really heard was her talking. She told Maggie who she was, but seemed to not mention that Maggie had called us that morning and left a message on our machine about the black and tan pom. Well, as their conversation drew on, I began to notice a little tension in my sister's voice. It showed up on her face too. I could actually almost hear Maggie screaming and shouting on the other side of the line. I had no idea what that was all about. I started asking my sister "What's going on?" She asked Maggie if she would hold for a minute and I actually heard Maggie say "NO! I won't hold for a minute!" And then I heard Maggie just yelling and screaming on and on and on. I was listening and a bit perplexed. I told my sis to ask Maggie why she called us that morning, and Maggie would not let my sister get a word in at all. Her mouth was going so fast and so loud, I don't think my sis could have gotten a word in there with a crowbar! Next thing I know Maggie hung up on my sis.

I asked my sis what happened. She told me that Maggie was upset that we came to her house and saw her dogs. She told me that Maggie said "Its rude to go to someone's house just to look at their dogs!" I said "Then what's the point in putting an ad out?" Then she told me that Maggie said to her "Don't you come to my house again unless you have money in your hands!" and hung up on her. That made me angry! I said, "OK, that's the last business we are ever going to have with little miss Maggie Hill!" and we went back to our friend Mae, who bred much better looking Pomeranians than Maggie had! Mae was the sweetest breeder I've ever met and she had true wolf sable poms. She was one of few breeders I knew of that bred for both color AND quality. Every one of her poms looked like poms, whereas Maggie had only a few dogs that actually looked like poms. All the rest looked like they were half sheltie.

I was not through with Maggie though. I wrote her a scathing e-mail, cussing her out just like she cussed my sister out. She needed to learn a lesson in decency, and this was the only way to do it. When I wrote that email, I reminded Maggie that first off, SHE called  US, we did not call her! So if anyone was being rude, it was HER! I told her that she's got a lot of nerve for someone who is breeding some of the worst looking Pomeranians I've ever seen. I told her maybe we did have the money to get that puppy, but we are sure as hell not going to give it to her! Not after this little asinine stunt she pulled. I ended the email telling her to fuck off and NEVER call us again! EVER! Well, the next thing I know, I got another message on my answering machine from someone named Terry. It was funny! Terry was claiming she was with the Lakewood police department. LOL!!! I laughed when I got that message, because I knew what it was about, and I knew that Maggie put one of her dumb friends up to doing that just to scare me. But I was not scared, not even for the slightest second. Because what police man is going to care what I say to a stupid puppymilling old crone like Maggie?!

Maggie refuses to admit it, but she is indeed a puppymiller. Also a dog broker. If I had known back then what I do now about ethical breeding, I never would have gone to Maggie at all. So one word of caution for anyone in the Seattle/Tacoma area; BEWARE OF SEATTLE PETS! AND DON'T TALK TO MAGGIE HILL!!! She's fucking crazy! She obligates people to buy puppies from her. And if you don't buy from her, she'll cuss you out to no end! Do the smart thing and shop around!! Don't let ANYONE push you into buying a pet from them!

Now, the dirty dozen (most likely Mcgillicutty/Sara) is going to foreword this to Maggie. I say go ahead!! My only concern is to any potential victims of Maggie's. I want Maggie to remember this! Maybe she'll think twice before acting like an asshole to someone else! You mess with my family, you get kicked in the butt. And I am not, and never will be, sorry. So, call the police, call your dime store lawyer, call Judge Judy! I don't care.

Depression vs. Disability

I've been suffering some depression for most of my life. I remember sometimes as a child I would just all-out start crying for no reason whatsoever. It could have been just simple growing-pains, or it could have been the first onset of what was to come. As an adult, I've suffered less and less of the sadness, but it still comes and goes. It can come on heavy, like after I lost my Groucho, or it can come on very light like sometimes I just feel a little tingle of sadness. Sometimes I just don't feel it at all. I can be feeling average (I don't like to say "normal" as someone suffering depression), and sometimes I can just burst out laughing for what ever reason. Either I am having a funny thought, or I just feel happy. Some non-shrinks have said I am more like bi-polar. I think though bi-polar is worse than simple depression. I've seen bi-polar people, ol' Andy back in Bozeman was bi-polar. His sadness ALWAYS manifested into extreme anger, and he would get angry over little, petty things that should not have mattered to him. And I truly believe Patti was bi-polar, though she refused to admit it, she had all the signs of someone who was. Patti just wanted everyone to think she had no problems at all.

I remember before I moved in with Patti, I told her ahead of time that I do tend to suffer some depression, but that it is not an everyday problem with me. Only occasionally now. Patti responded with "Well, that would be the time I would say to you, 'let's go shopping or out for a drive' until you feel better." I think that was the comment that cinched the deal and made me decide to move in with her. That comment alone made Patti sound like a lot of fun. Made her sound like the kind of person I wanted to live with. Because up until I moved from Bozeman, my sis and I did all that. I really thought Patti was going to be the big sister I was craving to have again. But after I moved in with her, she proved not to be all she said she was. Instead of being the person who would take me out shopping when I felt depressed, Patti was more thinking "Oh good! I love catching depressed people! I want to have all of them around me so I can make them feel even more miserable like I do with my own pathetic life!" I know Patti was hoping she would hurt my feelings by kicking me out, but instead by my last 2 days with her I hated it there so much, it would have been more depressing to me if I'd had to stay there. Patti didn't even seem to like me talking to the neighbors! When I told her I met one of her neighbors, she gave me a disgusted groan.

How could I ever expect Patti to do anything to make me feel better during one of my bouts of depression when she was worse off than I was? Of course when I consented to move in with her, I had no idea she was bi-polar. Patti told a LOT of lies (and I do mean a LOT) to get me to move in with her, because she said if I hadn't come along, she would be living in her van. I didn't answer her ad, she answered mine. She told me the only people who answered her ad on Craigslist were people from Nigeria who wanted her to send them the key to her place. Well, Patti was so mixed up, she would have sent them a key that did not work on any lock in that house! Believe me, I know! The one key she gave me that she claimed was the house key, did not open any door that I tried in that house. When I went out for a walk, I had to leave the door unlocked while I went out, and hurry back before she got home from work. I didn't want Patti to find out I left the house with the door unlocked. I didn't want her bitching at me for it! LOL!

Patti still never told me she was bi-polar. I guess she hoped I wouldn't figure it out. But I know what bi-polar looks like, and Patti was the poster child for the disorder! I may have used to have been bi-polar, I don't know, when you are young it's harder to tell because young people typically get outrageously angry over little things too. It comes natural to them. But since I am much older now, I find I still suffer from some depression, but I don't get so angry over little things anymore. Now, I tend to laugh those things off. In fact now, it's almost impossible to make me angry. Well, maybe I shouldn't say impossible, but little petty things don't upset me in any ways anymore. I've learned to laugh at the little annoyances. Heck, people can call me names and post my pics and videos up I don't care. Doesn't bother me at all. I remember how angry I used to get when people talked about me behind my back. But ya know, since I post blogs up and videos as well, I've become something of a celebrity. Sort of! But being in the public light, one has to expect people to talk about them behind their back. So, I don't get angry at that anymore.

Now, depressed or not, there are some things I would be suspicious about if they were to happen to me. But suspicious does not equal anger. Like on my last post before I went to Reno, I mentioned this friend of mine who said someone she didn't know who created a page on Facebook for her. I believe she knew who that person was, very much so! Because if someone did that with me, I would not take it so lightly. I would have at least liked to know who the person behind the creation of that page was, and what their intentions were. Even if it's a Timmyfan-hate site, I'd still like to know. I don't think I would use that site either. If it's a hate site, it's not my business to know what someone else thinks of me. Even if it's a Timmyfan-love site, I still don't think I would join. I'm just not interested in knowing what others think of me. So, I don't go around the internet and look for stuff like that. I'm like JD. Just let it go. I don't want to hear (or see) a word of it! LOL! I barely read any comments on my YouTube anymore. I just accept them, and if they are nice comments, I respond. If they are hateful comments, I usually just ignore them. I am no longer responding to hateful comments, though I have begun to accept them on my videos again. Somewhat! It depends on how I feel. If I feel good, I accept any comment. If I feel bad, I don't accept rude comments because then I know I will be tempted to respond, and I only respond to nice comments now. There's an almost 100% chance the person leaving the negative comments is nothing but a troll, and their intent is to piss me off, so I just don't give them that satisfaction anymore. I just accept their comment and smile. :D

Well, is depression a disability? I say yes. Just because it is not physical does not mean it's not a disability. Depression, I have found, does indeed interfere with a person's daily routine. Some days I don't even feel like getting out of bed. It's not that I don't want to, it's just that I can't. My mind and body won't let me. I actually hate staying in bed! But some days, that's all I feel like doing. I never really wanted to kill myself, not before Groucho died. After I lost her, I didn't care if I lived or died. I was able to pull through it then because I had friends and family living close by. I dread the day to come that either Vegas or Minnie dies! I might go through what I went through with Groucho's death, and this time, I might not get out of it. Kinda scares me a little. I've never had to face anything like that alone. But I don't want to think about that now. LOL! I'll just have to wait and see what happens. Hopefully it won't be soon though!

Yes there are days I feel sad, but then there are also days I don't experience any sadness at all. The problem with depression is most people carry the feeling of sadness for too long. The one thing that makes me happiest is my dogs. That's why I keep them. :) Also, music makes me feel good. So does the right kind of TV shows. Or sometimes when I feel sad, I watch an even sadder program, and sometimes seeing how bad things in the world can get makes me feel like my problems are not that significant. At least temporarily. I'm not saying that's a cure for depression, but it's a way that helps me cope with it. It works with me anyways.

Visit to Reno

Well, I just got back from a week-long trip to Reno, where my ma and stepfather moved to this past year. I feel awful my entire family is moving away from me. All I have left here is my father, and Kathy has been trying to get him to move to Arizona. Thankfully he won't budge. LOL! But if pa ever does budge, I'm going to have a problem. I'll be all alone here. No more family. I have a documentary about the 2004 tsunami in the Indian Ocean, and there is one scene filmed in Sri Lanka, where a couple is standing in the street crying because they lost their entire families in the tsunami. That is what I sometimes feel like. Sometimes I feel like just standing outside, wailing my head off. My ma and my sis are my best friends, what can I say? Yes, I have friends here, and I know I can visit my family on Facebook, or Skype, but that's it.

Anyway, I went on the bus to Reno, my father took my dogs for the week so I did not have to leave them with anyone here. I really do not know anyone in this park well enough to leave my dogs with them for a week! Unfortunately I might have to for my next trip. But more about that later. Anyways, my pa took me to Olympia where I caught the bus and we waited there for a while. It took a while for the bus to come. I stopped all liquids at noon, because if there is one thing I learned long ago, using the bathroom provided on the bus really SUCKS!!!!! It's dirty, and you can see other peoples' crap floating around in it, and I don't want any of that getting on my behind! So I stopped all liquids long before I got on the bus, and boarded with an empty bladder.

I got on the bus when it arrived, and my luggage was placed in a compartment below the bus. It took me a while to find a seat, there was only one way in the back of the bus. But I sat there anyway. Our first stop was in Portland, where I would switch busses and head to Sacramento. At the depot, people would put their luggage in a place in line, and if you did not put your luggage in place, you wouldn't get a good seat on the bus. Fortunate for me, most people like sitting in the back of the bus. I have to sit up front otherwise I get car sick. That's always been my curse!! I can never ride in the back of a car or bus. If I do, I always puke! Riding in front keeps your mind and your eyes busy enough that you don't get sick, whereas riding in the back, even on smooth rides, for some reason makes you feel squeamish. I find it always works with me. I haven't puked in the car at any time while riding in the front passenger seat!

Anyways, it was about an hour before we boarded the bus to Sacramento, it gave me a chance to empty my bladder once again. It was going to be a 6 hour drive from Portland to Sacramento. So, I wanted to be empty. But either way, I figured the rest of the bus depots we would come to would have a working restroom. Anyway, that's what one would believe! But no. We made a few stops, one was a truck stop in Medford, and my mouth and throat were dry, so I decided to buy a bottle of water, which I would drink very slowly. That way, I would not have to use the restroom again until we got to Sacramento. BIG mistake!! My body absorbed the water alright, but I had to go again when we hit Weed, which is a tiny town in northern California, close to Yreka. Not only was the town tiny, but so was the bus depot. I believe that bus depot was privately owned. I went in to use the restroom because I had to go bad!!!!!! It was early in the morning. The sun was out, and it was hot! But a lot of people on the bus were still sleeping.

Well, when I walked in, I started looking for a restroom  and the guy behind the counter said "No public restrooms! You gotta get back on the bus!" I was like "Oh SHIT!! I have to go bad too!" So I got back on the bus, ready, but not willing, to use the restroom on the bus. The hard part was everyone and his cousin on that bus had their heads and feet sticking out in the aisle!! Not only that, but my big ass did not fit down that aisle either!! Try getting a 20-inch wide ass down an 18-inch wide aisle!! It's not easy! And less easy with people's heads and feet sticking out in the aisle!! But I had to go! It was either that or piss in the seat, and I didn't want to do that either!! I went down that aisle, figuring who would have the pleasure of having my ass in their face! LOL! That was embarrassing!! Fortunately most people were good sports about it. I reached the bathroom on the bus, and tried to tinkle. That wasn't easy either! I didn't want to sit down on the seat, so I had to stand up. I had to try and perfectly position my ass to get over the seat, and that wasn't easy either. I wound up pissing down the side of their toilet, which jutted out quite far, and it got on my pants! YUK!!!

Well, I was cursing the driver the whole time! Not to his face though. But I was saying to myself "why couldn't he stop at a depot that has a public restroom??" Well, we made it to Sacramento, and I was so thirsty, I felt it was OK to get a full-sized drink because I only had 2 more hours left on this trip. My next stop was going to be Reno, and that is just over a 2 hour trip. So, I drank water like crazy to make up for being dehydrated on the trip. When my bus reached Reno, I noticed it had been raining. The ground was very wet. My ma and stepfather were there to greet me, and they told me I had just missed a huge storm. That was cool! There was still some thunder and lightening going on when I got there.

My sis was a little bit late, her bus ran an hour later, so we had to wait for her. But she needed to be there to get us into our hotel room. It was under her name. Ma ordered us a pizza, and it was a good thing too, because when I got there, I was starving!! So we ordered a pizza that all of us could eat, me, ma and sis. Ma ordered it 2 hours ahead of time, and told them that we would like the pizza ready by 9:15 PM, which was about when my sis' bus was due to arrive. Well, when we got to the pizza parlor after picking up my sis, the pizza was not yet ready, so ma had to wait for it. I was starving! I hadn't eaten anything since I left WA state. I refused to eat on the bus, and I didn't want to get anything at those overpriced cafes at the big bus stations. Last time I ate at one of those cafes, which was back in 1991, they charged me 25 cents for a package of ketchup for my fries. This was a small package too, smaller than the ones you get at Burger King! And you can get those for free!

Once we got in the hotel room, ma told us the plans she has for us. We liked the idea of going to Lake Tahoe, Virginia City and other places nearby. When we went to Virginia City, we passed by what was probably the smallest town in Nevada. It's a town called Lyon, and it was only 25 feet long. If you blink, you miss it. While we were in Virginia City, I saw this cool candy store, where you could get any variety of candy in bulk. It was cool. My sis and I also met a real live cowboy, he even tipped his hat to us, I've never seen that before! LOL! I should have got a pic with him. Most men these days don't have manners like that. I also got a pic of a t-shirt we found that read "there is a place for all god's creatures... right next to the potatoes and gravy!" LOL! I thought the vegans would love that one! hehehe! We also found an old jail cell, which we all took turns posing in. I made the most pathetic looking face I could, but at the same time, I wanted to convey an expression that said "What did I do now?" LOL! So I did. Ma did the same. My sis and stepfather just stood behind the bars and acted natural. They aren't the clowns ma and I are. There was also something called a 'suicide table', which was an old blackjack table where several people lost all their earnings, and committed suicide.

While in Reno, we went to several of the buffets in town. My favorite place to go was not actually a buffet, but they did have prime rib dinners for $6. When I went there, I had that and ordered the soup to go with it. They had cream of turkey soup that was out of this world!! I loved it! The time spent eating that was sheer heaven! I want to try making some of that here at home. We also ate at the peppermill on the last day, and it was wonderful! We played Uno and had a bit of a barbecue at ma's. Uno became kind of a personal war between us all. My sis is a genius at that game. She always wins me. She also wins my ma, and my ma is pretty damn smart!

All in all, I had fun in Reno. My ma and stepfather are trying to get me to move there, and I told them I don't want to. While Reno is a nice place to visit, the chances of me ever living there are close to niltch! I found out my ma is speaking to Nancy once again. I am glad! Ma was so angry at Nancy, as I was. I felt she let me down, but I got over it eventually. Especially after I found this place. I had no reason to be angry with her anymore. Ma has taught Nancy to have a backbone, where she didn't before. That was why I got so pissed off at Nancy was because she would make promises she didn't keep. She promised she would look after my dogs when I moved from Bozeman, and she didn't keep that promise. Then when I no longer lived with Patti, we turned to Nancy once again to take my babies, and she said she would get back to me and we'd think of some way out of this problem. Well, I never heard from her again. I'd have been a lot less angry if she'd only been honest with me the first time around. Well, Nancy hated to say no to us for fear of us not liking her anymore. But I am not that shallow! If she'd have said "No, sorry. I just cannot look after your dogs" I would have understood and worked on finding someone else to take care of them.

I think I also predicted an earthquake while I was in Reno. I felt my bed shake, and I thought it was an earthquake and I mentioned it to my sis, but I refused to believe it was really an earthquake. I just stated that I felt my bed shaking. This was on Saturday! I didn't think Reno got earthquakes! But my sis said yes they do. Well, Monday, when I was on my way home on the bus, I got to Sacramento, and the big buzz was that Reno had just had an earthquake! It happened while I was on the bus, I thought it was cool. I said my sis and I were just talking about earthquakes in Reno earlier that weekend. I must have felt some early warning tremors. IF earthquakes give those off! No one else felt them that day but me. It was kinda freaky! I didn't sleep much on this trip. All total, I must have slept about 8 hours. The beds were hard, and so were the seats on the bus. Our third day there, my ma was visiting us in our hotel room, and we saw a cockroach crawl up our wall!! I was grossed out and threatened to run away! I cannot stay in a room with a cockroach! I hate those things!! I was on the phone at the time we saw it crawl up the wall, and even the woman on the phone with me was grossed out when I said "There's a damn cockroach in the room!" I have no clue how long it was in there, but I said I'm calling the office and complaining! My sis beat me to it though. LOL!

Well, when my sis called the office, they tried to tell us there are no cockroaches in Nevada. I didn't believe them, because there was one on that wall! That is the only thing that will drive me completely out of any house or apartment, cockroaches. That is why I refuse to bunk with any vegans. I hope my partner is not part of any belief system against killing any living things. Because if I see a cockroach in my house at any time, it's DEAD!!!! I will not live in the same house with cockroaches!! I won't tolerate them! The lady in the office demanded to see the cockroach, but ma had already killed it and tossed it over the fence. So we went down to where the body fell, and looked for the remains of this cockroach to prove to the lady in the office that it was there. The cleaning lady was out working, and she saw us pointing to something, and heard us say "there's the cockroach!" I know animals, and it looked like a cockroach to me! Well, the cleaning lady stepped on it again, and it turned to powder. Thanks a lot! But the manager agreed to give us another room. Thank GOD! But I was still peeved about finding a cockroach there, so much so, I couldn't really sleep at night.

Well, for the trip home, we got these Forever Comfy cushions to sit on. They are the ones with a gel center surrounded by foam. It worked fairly good in keeping my behind comfortable on that bus. It worked better than those seats themselves. But it still got rather flat, and the seats went back to being uncomfortable. UGH! The trip back was a little better than the trip over. This time, I had some goodies to munch on. I had gotten some of those Tootsie roll Flavor Rolls, which I LOVE!!! They are now the last candies to have lime pieces still available. Better enjoy them while I can! Before too long they might also make the switch from lime to sour green apple! YUK!!!!!!! I really thought Skittles would be the same way forever. But no. They have also given in to this stupid sour apple craze too! Again, I tried very hard not to drink anything so I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom. But those flavor rolls must have some amount of moisture in them. Because not too long after consuming some, I had that urge. I held it as long as I could, but it became unbearable after a while. But before I could get up the demand to head to the bus's bathroom, the busdriver stopped at a truck stop. It was the same one we stopped in on the way to Reno, located in Medford. I said "Thank you LORD!" And there I was able to go to the bathroom.

I also got myself a drink, thinking we would stop again. Well, we did stop at another place along the way. I was able to go to the bathroom there too. I was also thirsty so I got another drink. But I thought we were in Eugene, which is fairly close to Portland. Boy was I mistaken! When the bus got moving again, I found out we were 298 miles from Portland! OMG! I hoped I could hold out until we got there. The busdriver said that would be our last stop until we got to Portland. Well, I curled up as best I could and went to sleep. When I got up, we were about 86 miles from Portland, and I had to go bad!!! I waited as long as I could, but this time the signs went by so slowly! First it was 86 miles away, then 78 miles, then 64, and by 58 miles away I just couldn't hold it anymore. I made my way to the restroom on the bus, excusing myself all the way. Once again, everyone and his cousin had their heads and feet sticking out in the aisle!

Well, when I finally reached the bathroom, I remembered what happened on the way to Reno and I had to go bad. I just held my behind over the bowl and it trickled down and got on my pants. So, this time in order to avoid that, I tried it Booby-style. I stood over the bowl and lifted my leg and this time, it went into the bowl. YES!!! I was relieved! And I didn't get dirty. I went back to my seat ready to ride all the rest of the way to Portland. I had about an hour and a half wait in Portland before going home. I charged my MP3 player, used the bathroom as much as I needed, and even slept a bit. After I boarded the bus, I called my father and let him know I was on the bus to Olympia and I should be there in a couple of hours. Later on, he told me he was glad I called, I told him I figured he would want me to call him, so I did. Besides, I didn't want to wait at the bus station for too long. I was tired and all I really wanted was to get home and sleep for a week!! I am still working out the weariness I felt throughout that trip. But it was a fun trip, in spite of everything.

I told my sis I am never taking the bus ANYWHERE ever again!!! Next time we decide to go to Reno, we'll rent a car! That way I can stop and wizz whenever I need to!

At It Again!

UGH!! I am getting a mite frustrated with Jade. Not her real name. But anyways, now she has 3 pages, all with the same name. Named after her. This one, she claims she did not create! I knew she created it! She maintained since yesterday that someone else created this new page. She believes it was that Tim Burks character. It could have been, I don't know. Well, she had a 3rd page before (as if 2 isn't enough) and she deleted it. She kept asking me to make her a moderator again on that page. At first I thought she meant the radio station page. Then I thought she meant the 2nd page she made. But no, she had a 3rd page that she didn't tell me about. I wouldn't have joined anyways. She already has 2 pages I "liked" on Facebook. The second one, I "liked" because she asked me to. Then she made me a moderator on that page and I said OK. I don't mind helping out. I guess she thought she made me a moderator on this 3rd page, because she kept hounding me to make her a mod on that page again. I couldn't because I hadn't even "liked" that page. I was not even a member.

Well, Jade deleted that page, and then created this new page on Facebook, and tried to make me a content creator last night. I told her I am really not interested, because she already has 2 pages, and what ever she needs to post can be posted on those 2 pages. They work perfectly well. Well, this morning I come to find now she wants me to "like" that new page. I already told her I am not interested! I said if she didn't create this page, then I am not into it. Then she finally tells me that yes she did create this new page. I am still not interested. Like I said, she already has 2 pages that work perfectly well. She can post what ever she wants to on them. I am not going to support this 3rd page, when I know it's going to contain nothing but all the same content as she can put on the other 2. She creates these pages for her boy, who is very talented. But she names them after herself, not him or his band. I don't think that's fair.

If I support this page, I know what's going to happen. She'll bug me again about being a moderator for this page, and then she'll create another page, then another, then another, and expect me to be an admin to all those pages too. No. I cannot allow that to happen. I like Jade, but I have to stand firm on this. She said she wants me to admin this new page in case she loses it again. I told her no, I'm really not interested. If she loses it, she loses it. Fine by me! She already has 2 pages. I don't know why she felt the need to create this new page! She's on some kind of frenzy! To me, one page is enough! I only have 2 pages on Facebook, for 2 totally different subjects, one about speculative evolution, the other for UMG Productions. That's all I need. I don't have 2 or 3 separate pages for either one, and I am not going to create any new ones for them either. No point in that.

You know, Jade is a VERY sweet person, and I do like her a lot, but I think there is something wrong with her head. First she says Michael Hutchence lives in her child. And I don't mean like she thinks Michael is reincarnated into him, or that Michael inspired her child. She actually thinks her child IS Michael! Her child is very talented, and I can see him being inspired by Michael, but he is NOT Michael. Then when I tell her that I'm sure he was well inspired by Michael, she gets very defensive. Now she's got 3 pages on Facebook named after her, to promote her child. And this 3rd page, she's not even admitting she created. She says she didn't create it, but she is using it, and even tried to make me a moderator. If someone created a page for me without my permission, and I didn't know who they were, I would be suspicious. Not exactly happy unless I knew the creator's intention. But Jade maintains that she didn't create the page, and that she doesn't know who did. I don't know, something sounds not right to me! Something smells very fishy!

Sometimes chatting with Jade makes me feel a little uncomfortable, especially when she starts talking like she did with those 2 subjects. This new page thing has me a little bothered. It just seems so uncanny to me. Seems strange that she would use a page that was not created by her, and she says she doesn't even know who created it. Yet she is using it and it bears her name, and pictures of her child. This is getting a little too out there for me! If Jade bothers me about "liking" or moderating this new page again, I'm going to have to tell her that if she does, I'm going to have to unfriend her and take my name off all those pages' moderator lists. I am not supporting this new page. I have no intention to. I'm very sorry if it hurts her feelings, but I am not going to support this new page. I didn't ask her to create it, and I did not give her permission to add me as a content creator for it in the first place.

Something Horrible About Me

You know, I was talking about this on my last post, saying there is just something about me that people automatically hate. And I have absolutely NO idea what it is. No matter how hard I try to be nice to people, there is just something about me. It goes back to when I was in school. In 3rd grade, people just hated me. I moved from a school that I loved to a school that I hated. I remember in my previous school, there was only one kid that hated me so much, and it was a girl named Deanna. She told one of my friends that the reason she hated me so much was because when she invited me to come play at her house, she said I asked her mom for "this and that and this and that". I only remember asking her mom for a couple of things, one was a glass of water, which she actually offered me. The other was drawing paper. But apparently to Deanna, that was a curse. But at least she was honest about why she didn't like me. I'd prefer that to not knowing at all.

When I moved on to the next school, I barely said anything to anyone, since my words got me in trouble with one person at my previous school. I thought maybe I could better myself here by not talking to anyone. BAD mistake!!!!!! At this school, if you didn't talk, the kids would think you were retarded. That first day, the kids all asked me if my sister was retarded apparently because our first day at that school, my sis wanted to invite everyone she met to a slumber party at our place. It was supposed to be nothing more than a nice gesture, and hopefully a quick way to make friends. But the other kids did not take it that way. They took it to mean my sister was retarded.

Some people may scoff at me because I am fat, but you know what? This has been going on long before I ever got fat. I was not fat in 3rd grade. I just never talked to anyone. I was not fat in middle school or high school, but I did mature faster than the other kids. By that I mean I had "filled out" more. I was always nice to people in middle school and in high school. I was actually more popular in high school than I was in middle school. I remember in middle school, there would be this little boy named Joel, he was the same boy that used to call himself a Chihuahua. He was a weird-ass kid! I would sometimes see him playing with my friend's baby brother as I was walking home from school, they were best friends apparently. But I remember he used to call me names too. He was about 8 years old at that time, and he used to call me names. Why? I don't know. I didn't know him at all, and he'd never spoken to me, except to call me names or tell me that I was retarded because I refused to speak to some loony-ass kid who referred to himself as being a type of dog that is too cute for him! I never told him though that I thought he was crazy. Kids have fantasies, and I thought maybe that was Joel's fantasy, to be a Chihuahua. LOL! So, I left him alone. But he would still call me names.

I also remember back in 1991, my sis and I were walking our dog, Andy. We were just walking down the street, minding our own business, heading to the corner market, which was about 1/4 mile from where we lived. On the way, we noticed there was this Afro-American boy standing out by the road, and he had been staring at us for a long time. Just standing there and staring ever since we turned that corner to get on that road. He seemed to never take his eyes off us. This was a long road, it took about 10 minutes to walk down to where he was standing, and the whole time, he never took his eyes off me and my sister. I definitely felt there was something strange about it. I didn't know this boy, he looked like an older teenager, but younger than me. Maybe about 16 years old. My instincts did tell me that perhaps there was something not right, and my sis said "Have you noticed that guy hasn't stopped staring at us?" I answered, "Yes, that is strange!" I almost considered turning around and going the other way and take a different road. But by that time, my sis and I were already half way down that road.

When we got where that black kid was standing, we heard a bunch of girls talking but didn't see them. They saw Andy first, as he was a little ahead of me and my sis, then when we got into sight, the girl who was standing in their garage, behind their car, started shouting "Oh now I see 2 big rocks!" Another girl was on the front lawn, dying of laughing. The black boy simply watched us as we passed by. There were 2 grown men standing in the yard too, one was a young man, probably in his mid-30s, whom I know was a cop. There was also a big, fat, bald man talking to the younger man, this man was fatter than me and my sis. I don't know if the girls who were shouting names and shit at me and my sis were related to either of those people. If they were related to that big guy, that would have been funny. That's what they probably look like now. Either that or they have kids that look like him now. Obese children are a common sight now. I found it odd that neither one of those people did or said anything to stop those girls or shut them up. Yet the only ones who were laughing was the girl shouting the names and the girl in the yard.

Actually, I don't take being called a rock as an insult. I take it as a compliment. Like saying "you're tough as a rock!" hehehe! Even though I am sure that girl meant to say it with malice, I still did not take it as an insult. But knowing she meant to say it with malice, I am shocked the other people in the yard were just standing by, watching me and my sis. Not doing anything at all. Not even watching the girl who was shouting the names or the girl who was dying in the front yard. It almost seemed as if they were watching us hoping we would do something to her ourselves, with all of them there. Or expecting us to do something. But I kinda wonder, did they say the same kind of shit to the fat man that was standing in their yard? Because he was bigger than me and my sis put together! I was not even that fat back then! I had big knockers and that's it. LOL! My sis wasn't fat then either. Not that big! Surely neither one of us was as big as the bald man standing in the yard.

A year later, my sis and I were at the lake, going for a swim. There was this group of 11-12 year old girls there. The red-headed girl was extremely obnoxious and started saying shit in reference to me and my sis. There was an oriental girl in that group that told her to shut up and stop being so mean. She didn't stop though, she kept saying things about us. Well, after swimming for a while, we went back to our dog Andy, who had been tied to a table leg, waiting for us. There was a woman standing by our area with a dog of her own, a little terrier-like dog. She too was fat, in fact, she looked just like Rosanne Barr. She was fatter than me and my sis. She liked Andy though. Everyone liked Andy! Our little black and white papillon. We used to get a lot of compliments about how adorable he was! Well, as we were sitting there, that same bunch of girls walked up to the woman and her terrier-like dog and started petting the dog. The little red-haired girl was acting so nice and congenial to that woman, it was hard to believe she was the same girl who made rude cracks about my sis and me while we were swimming. I saw that red-haired girl look at Andy with great interest. I was holding Andy at the time, and I wouldn't let him go to those girls at all. The girl turned to that woman and asked her if Andy was her dog, and she said no, he belongs to us. The red-haired girl still looked at Andy with interest, but seemed a little disappointed that we had the better-looking dog! LOL! I know that red-haired girl wanted to come up and pet Andy so badly, but she knew I wasn't going to let her. So she didn't even bother to ask. LOL!

What gets me is, why was that red-haired girl so rude to me and my sis, but not to that woman who was as fat as Rosanne Barr? Neither I nor my sis ever said anything to that girl to warrant her rudeness towards us. We didn't know her, we'd never done anything to her before. Though I think she was polite to that other woman for no other reason than the fact that she liked her dog. Had that woman not had her dog with her, I wonder if that red-haired girl would have made nasty remarks about her too?

Then there was Andy. Not Andy our dog, I'm talking about the idiot in Bozeman. Captain Stinkaroo. I used to see him talking to fat people all the time. He used to chat with Leon. And Leon is 3 times as fat as I am. I don't know what they talk about, but I have seen Andy talking with Leon before. I don't know if Andy calls him names too in reference to his size. Plus, Andy is friends with Kim, and Kim is fatter than I am. In her ass. She has an ass as big as the side of a house! Yet Andy is congenial with her. He never calls her fat names. Not that I truly care what Andy thinks, but why is he nice to some fat people, but hates me and my sis with such passion? The point is, he's not the only one. There is just something about me that I think brings out the absolute worst in people. And I doubt all of it is just because I am fat. Or ugly.

Even cases where fat didn't seem to factor, and I was totally nice to someone, they seemed to cast me off like dirty diapers. Like with Patti. I was nothing but nice and respectful to her. Never had a cross word with her, never called her names, I never even so much as disagreed with her. I talked to her like a friend, I never mistreated her in any way. We did disagree on what foods we liked, but normally that wouldn't matter to someone. Well, not someone with sense. I never said Patti had any sense! But there was just something about me that she did not like at all. I didn't do the dishes ONE night, and I do mean ONE night!! That's what seemed to make Patti go over the edge. She gave me all kinds of excuses why she didn't want me living there anymore, but I can honestly tell you all, to a normal person, NONE of it would have mattered. Especially since no contracts were signed.

I know a lot of people just don't like fat people, but I see someone like Andy, talking to one fat person in a friendly manner, and in the same breath say hateful and rude things to another fat person that never did him any harm, that puzzles me. And I don't buy that bullshit that people hate fat people because they raise the cost of health care!! I don't buy that at all! I don't believe an 8 year old, a 15-year old, or an 11 or 12 year old calls someone fat names because they're concerned about the cost of health care!! And those scenarios occurred LONG before this health care crisis got started! So I don't believe anyone calls someone fat names because they give even the slightest shit about health care costs! And I sure as HELL don't believe they call us names because they are concerned about our own health! I truly think these nutjobs just use that as a cover-up because they don't want to admit that they are cruel, immoral, sociopathic shitheads with no personality of their own! That's my opinion. At least when people start admitting that, then the world can be honest with one another.

No Respect For Vegans

Vegans wonder why I have no respect for them and I won't listen to them. Well, I remember some months ago, one of my vegan friends hit an animal by accident with her car, and she was talking about how she was beginning to wonder if driving a car is truly an act of veganism. I thought it was interesting she would think about that. Because honestly, nothing humans do in this world is an act of veganism. The fact that we are even here is not an act of veganism. We are here and we are reproducing. But you want to know what I feel is the strongest contradictor to acts of veganism? The fact that most vegans I know own cats. I've said before that I would have more respect for vegans if most of them didn't own cats. I mean seriously, my own personal feelings about cats aside. Vegans want to take the most carnivorous of mammals and bring them into their home and force them into a vegan diet! Then they turn around and call wild felines "obligate carnivores", and then don't respect the animal's natural diet in their own home. That to me is one of the highest forms of animal abuse anyone could commit. If vegans want a small mammal that they can cuddle and feed a vegan diet, why not get a rabbit instead?? I'll never understand that concept with vegans.

Tonight another one of my vegan friends mentioned that her 2 cats mangled a lizard and the poor thing is dying. I felt so bad for the lizard, but at the same time, angry at this friend! It was her own idea to bring those damn cats into her household. And then she gripes at people who go to the market and buy meat. Can't she see that what she is doing is no better than her claiming people like me are "supporting the suffering and torture of animals"? Just with the simple act of owning cats, she is also supporting the killing of animals like that lizard. A cat is not going to stop being a cat, no matter how much she tries to stop it. Their bodies are going to crave meat. And even well-fed cats are still going to catch, torture and kill other animals just for fun. The same acts that piss her off when people do it. The only difference is most people are not out there killing their own cattle, or pigs, or chickens. We just go and buy their meat at a store. We don't commit the acts of caging, milking, killing or butchering. Yet vegans point their fingers at everyone who eats meat for "supporting" those acts. By the same token, I should call cat-owning vegans murderers for owning an animal that tortures and kills other animals for it's own pleasure.

That is why I refuse to listen to vegans. That is how I see them. Those that own cats lose all their credibility with me because of that. Makes them sound as much like hypocrites as they think I am because I eat meat and I also own pets. When vegans make that connection, they sound so stupid to me! And putting an animal that is born to eat nothing but meat on a vegan diet, which is definitely going to hurt the animal in the long run, that is incredibly stupid! People like that make me want to really blow up!! They want to take away my right to enjoy having meat on my plate, yet they commit the most grotesque acts of animal abuse I've ever known. I say "grotesque" because they don't seem to know what they are doing is no better than what they accuse people like me of doing. Yes I am angry! I am angry that vegans think they have a right to tell me how to live when they have not perfected that field yet themselves! Makes me MAD!!!!!

I saw a video trailer for a movie coming out about veganism. It had some interviews with people who are vegans now. I saw that and my first reaction was "What a bunch of wussies!" LOL! That's what vegans are! Nothing but a bunch of wussies! Anytime you see people who go to such lengths to save a bunch of prey animals' butts, you know they have to be wussies! Especially when most of them keep predatory animals in their homes. I always say, if we don't eat these animals, some other animal will. It might as well be us.

And I refuse to bunk with vegans! I will NOT stay in their home. I remember some time ago when I went those rounds with MsPearlsGirl, she said her vegan boyfriend would not touch me if he were drowning in a sea of piss. To me, that's actually a good thing! I would be more pissed off if her boyfriend ever touched me! Since vegans are so adamant about not killing any living thing, I can imagine her boyfriend is probably infested with lice, ticks, fleas, worms, and a bunch of other nasty parasites! And imagine living with a vegan. I always said if I take in roommates, the one thing I would never allow is a vegan to live in my house! Because they would let in all kinds of ants, cockroaches, flies, mosquitos, and other nasty things! And if I see these things in my house, I'm gonna kill them! I wouldn't want a vegan infested with parasites sleeping on any bed in my house! Or on my sofa either. NO way!!!! NO vegans allowed!

Twin Behavior

I was reading an article on the sidebar of this site that talks about twin behavior, and how it is possibly influenced by genes. That cannot be true. At least not in the case of this set of twins I knew in middle school. There were these two boys, Jeff and Jerry Massey. They were identical twins. On sight, a person could never tell them apart. You'd never know the difference until you actually spoke to them. I remember Jeff was a very nice guy, while Jerry was a complete asshole. I was not the only one who thought that either. Everyone in the school knew Jerry was psychotic. Some people in the school, like some of the people at that apartment complex in Bozeman, excused Jerry's rude behavior. And Jerry would be nasty without provocation. All you would have to do is look crosseyed at him and he would hate your guts! And he used to beat up girls. I've seen him do it before.

The funny thing about that is my sis went to school with Jeff and Jerry's big brother Tom, and according to my sis, Tom had the same attitude as Jerry. That told me a lot! That told me that those boys must live in a house full of hatred and violence. My guess is their father beats up on their mother. Or maybe they don't have a father. Maybe they only have a mother, and perhaps an abusive stepfather, and they never learned how to treat women right. Or perhaps their parents were never there for them. Possibly they were workaholics, and didn't raise those kids. But how Jeff was the only one out of those 3 boys that did not become an asshole, is what intrigues me. That was what made me start thinking about this. Is twin behavior genetic? Or is it learned? Well, I am no psychologist, so I have very little credibility for this argument. But that doesn't mean I cannot be interested in it.

In my opinion, I think a lot of behavior is learned. I think it all depends on who the twins spend the most time with. My guess in the case of Jeff and Jerry, perhaps Jerry spent more time with his older brother Tom. Jeff probably spent most of his growing up years with friends, who perhaps taught him some decency. I know Jerry didn't hate me because I was shy, and a little plump, as his very best friend was also a shy, quiet girl who was also more plump than I was. A sweetheart of a girl, but yes she was fatter than I was. I don't know what it is with me! I seem to always bring out the worst in people. No matter what I do!

Take Patti for example, I was sweet as pie to her the whole time I was living with her. I always smiled, said hello when we crossed paths, I cooked for her, I let her have her opinions and I had mine, and I kept my mouth shut about my opinions while I was there too. Unless Patti asked me what I thought of something. Even then I kept my speech down to a bare minimum. But somewhere along the way, something happened. It started when Patti asked me if I'd ever had kids, and just got worse from there. That's why to this day, I believe she was planning some kind of ambush. Patti and I were talking that evening after she got home from work. As we were talking about marriage, I mentioned I am usually a good judge of character. Patti asked me what I thought of her, and I told her what I thought of her at that time. I told her I thought she seemed like a nice person. At that time she did seem nice. I believe that was part of her ambush plan. I don't think she wanted me to think she was nice. Maybe she got her kicks out of being nasty. I don't know. But I do know that I was nothing but nice to her while I was living there, and the last 2 days, she just treated me like crap.

The reason I just cannot get over this is because there were so many occasions I should have just told Patti off!! And I didn't! I let Patti walk all over me, on purpose! All for the sake of trying to get along. I didn't want to yell at her, I didn't want to get angry with her, I didn't even want to disagree with her! There were some times I just wanted to punch Patti in the face! But I didn't because I didn't want her to be afraid of me. I tried so hard to get along with Patti and all that time and energy was just wasted! THAT is what I just cannot get over. I should not have been too nice to her. I should have just said what I was thinking, and if it would have got me kicked out of her place then so be it! I was totally nice to Patti and I got kicked out anyways. So, what difference would it have made if I was mean to her and got kicked out? The only difference I could think of is that at least I would have had my say, instead of letting her use me as a doormat! If I could have just told Patti to shut up once, even that would make me feel better right now! This is also the reason I don't believe Patti's ex-husband was abusive on purpose. Patti probably harassed him just like she did me! She sure made me want to beat her up too. I cannot even begin to tell you how much self-restraint it took out of me to not hit Patti! It's totally unfathomable!

I kinda wonder if people can sense that I just don't like people. And it's people like Patti that makes me hate people even more than before! One of these days, I'm just going to stop talking to people altogether. It's a lot better to just not talk to people than to get burned. It's not like I even always play the victim card. I know when I am to blame for something. If I am wrong I always say I am sorry. I'm not like Onision, GOD forbid!! He killed his pet tortoise this past week and now he's looking for excuses why it died. He's even saying it may have been shocked by construction noises going on near his house. Bullshit!! I just always wondered why I always bring out the worst in people. Well, I guess I should just remember the words of John Lennon. Being honest won't make you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.

How I Saw Patti vs. How Patti Saw Me

I am going to mock Patti Killebrew again in this post. Well shoot! I had fun writing the scenario in which I thought about what her non-existent children's lives would have been like if she'd had them. So, this post is going to be more how it was, rather than how it would have been. There's a lot to mock! The woman was a raging, satanic, controlling lunatic! And that's a fact. I lived with her for 4 days, I got a good dose of what she was like. I can pack a lot into that 4 days I lived with her, we each saw things very differently. This afternoon, I was remembering a conversation I had with her the day before she went totally bonkers on me. It was after she got home from work with a client that she stated she did not like very well because the client's husband was too controlling. Oh how ironic that is after I got to know Patti!! LOL! Well, these are some scenarios based on conversations we actually did have while I was there, and what I think was the final result of having those conversations and what I believe Patti was trying to convey when she said what she did during those conversations.

Before I moved in with her, Patti said: "I'm so motivated to move you in, I don't even care about a security deposit."
What I interpreted after living there: You get what you pay for!

During the interview, Patti said: "My favorite kind of food is comfort food."
What I interpreted after living there: "Screw comfort food. I only eat health food. If you don't eat what I eat, I don't like you!"

During the interview, Patti said: "I like to watch British TV shows."
What I interpreted after living there: I like to watch dark, angry shows where people have fun killing others, and the whole world is screwed up!"

When I sat down with Patti that first morning for breakfast, she told me her brother wanted me to sign a contract, which would have been fine with me. But Patti didn't want to go through all that stuff. I interpreted it to mean: "OK, so I am moving in and binding to no rules or regulations, I don't have to do anything if I don't want to."
Patti was in reality thinking: "I can kick you out anytime I want to without warning or 30-days notice, and I don't have to even have a good reason to kick you out!"

When Patti met my dogs, I told her my sis and I used to breed Chihuahuas, and that Vegas was one of our creations.
Patti interpreted that to mean: "So you didn't rescue Vegas from a shelter? You were adding to the pet overpopulation problem!"

After I moved in, Patti suggested after her brother sold that house, we move into an apartment together and split the rent evenly. I told her how hard it was to find an apartment that will allow 3 tiny dogs. If we would have added Patti's huge dog and 2 cats to that equation it would have been damn near impossible to find a place.
Patti took that to mean: "Oh shit! Now that I have a roommate, what have I gotten myself into?"

After I moved in, I offered to help Patti buy furniture from the local thrift store. Patti's reaction to that was: "Be careful, thrift store furniture sometimes comes with bugs!"
Then she moves an old easy chair that had been out in the barn that had for years been collecting chicken crap on it, and was dirty and stinky into the house. How Patti saw it: "That chair cannot be dirty and have bugs on it because it's mine."

Patti wanted to invite my ma and stepfather for a barbecue the weekend after I moved in. I looked on the barbecue grill and there were dirty old boots on the grill it's self. After seeing Patti put bread down on the same cutting board she had the mutt's food dish on without cleaning it first, I believed Patti was thinking: "I want to poison both you and your family with my family's germs and internal parasites!"

BTW, I prayed to GOD to get me and my family OUT of that barbecue and GOD answered my prayers when Patti kicked me out of her house! Hallelujah!!

My second night there, Patti bought an ice cream cone for me. I thought at first it was a nice gesture. In reality, it probably meant: "OK, I gave you a treat. Now you're going to do whatever I want you to, or else!" I truly believe this was the beginning of an ambush plan that Patti had.

Patti and I talked about her abusive ex-husband, and how she never had children of her own. Then she asked me if I ever had kids and I said no. Patti said "You've had a boring life, haven't you?!" What I think she really meant was: "You've never lived until you've had a husband that beats the living shit out of you!"

My third day there was when Patti and I went shopping, and that is when she went completely bonkers! I offered to buy food for her, whatever she wanted. I think Patti took that to mean: "Really? Does this mean I can also use you to do anything I want you to?"

Patti asked me if I had any limitations on what I could buy. I think in reality, she was trying to say: "I don't care about your limitations, I'm going to control whatever you eat anyway!"

Then Patti told me what kind of food she didn't want in the house, which was margarine. I said "OK. I don't eat margarine anyways." What Patti was hoping I would say is: "Oh no! I like margarine!" and be all sad and upset that I cannot get any.

Patti really went berserk when she found out I bought myself a couple of burritos, even though she went to Taco Bell frequently and bought herself burritos. Patti's thought on that was: "Do as I say, not as I do!"

When we were putting the groceries up, Patti told me to put the package of chicken in the refrigerator for the barbecue. I thought it was wrong, since the barbecue was 5 days away, but I felt if I didn't do what she wanted, she would bitch at me to no end. Well, when Patti saw the package of chicken in the refrigerator, she asked me "Why is this in the refrigerator and not in the freezer?" I reminded her that she told me to put it in there. Patti said "You can't think for yourself?" In reality, Patti was thinking, "Oh shit! You got me with my own words, and now I can't really bitch at you because of this!"

After putting up the groceries, Patti took me out to the barn to crush some cans. After that, Patti told me to show her how I close the barn door. I didn't know how, as it was a heavy, metal door and I was used to wooden barn doors. So I closed it the best way I could, while Patti stood by with an evil grin on her face. Patti said "That's not how you close a barn door. That's how you break a barn door!" The look on her face, and her tone of voice reminded me of when I was in 4th grade, the school bully named Melody, tried to teach me how to do crazy 8s, and she said if I didn't learn to do it right soon, she was going to beat me up.

That night, in the kitchen, I was trying to replenish what I had puked up earlier after being poisoned by Patti. Patti comes down with an angry look on her face. She says nothing at first. To this day, I believe she probably would have just went back to bed if I hadn't said anything to her first. As Patti was giving her lecture about health food and shit, I was standing there thinking: "I shouldn't have said anything to Patti!" Patti's whole speech was about "You live in my brother's house, you do as I say, and you eat whatever I want you to!"

Patti also griped because my sandwich was a little dark. Patti turns and says to herself "She's up at 10 PM burning cheese sandwiches!" I told Patti that I was not used to her gas stove yet, and that's why the sandwich got a little dark. But it was still good! Patti had this evil grin on her face again as she mockingly said "You don't know how to use a stove?" I told her it had been several years since I used a gas stove, and mine was not like her's.

The next day was when I officially got kicked out of Patti's brother's house. Patti gave me the news as I put my dogs outside. My only response was "Cool!" What I really wanted to say was: "Awesomeness!! I can't wait to get out! I'll go get my things packed right away!" Patti was hoping I would say: "Oh no! Now I have to go back and live with my ma! Can't I stay? PLEASE?" She gave me a look like "Huh?? You're not upset???" In reality, I took it as GOD answering my prayer to get me out of Patti's e-coli barbecue!

When I got back inside, before I started packing, I told Patti I wanted to inform my Facebook friends that I am no longer living with a roommate. Because I told them that morning how big a bitch Patti was being the day before, and that I don't think my staying there was going to last much longer. Many of my Facebook friends had been following my posts ever since I first moved in with Patti. So, I felt I had to update them with this new, and exciting, news. I said to Patti: "First, I need to tell my Facebook friends about this. IF that's OK with you!" Patti took that to mean: "I'm telling all my friends what a big meanie you are." In reality, I mentioned nothing about Patti's personality in that post.

As I was working on my computer, updating my Facebook status, Patti gets angry because I was doing it in the kitchen and says "Could you just hurry up and pack your stuff because you're getting in my face about this!" I interpreted that to mean "So you're not upset about getting kicked out? Well, I'm going to say as much shit as I can to make you feel like this whole thing was your fault! Then I will make you feel bad!" In reality, I just couldn't wait to get packed. I was just hoping my ma would read my status and come get me out of there!

Later that night, after I was all packed, Patti told me I could come out of my room and eat something. I thought back to earlier that day, when I saw Patti's brother using the dishwashing sponge to clean dirty bins that had been sitting out in the barn for 10 years, and I had to use that same sponge to clean the dishes. I thought of that and I told Patti "No thank you!" Patti said "Are you sure?" I said yes. In reality, Patti was thinking: "Oh good! I made her feel bad and now she's lost her appetite! haw-haw-haw!!" In reality, it was her brother's misuse of the dishwashing sponge that made me lose my appetite! I didn't want to get sick again!

That is why I am so grateful that I no longer live with Patti! I'm grateful I got out of there! I am grateful Patti and I did not look for any apartment together! I couldn't have stood living with her for one more day! Though Patti viciously denied it, she was trying to control everything I did, ate, liked, who I spoke to, who I associated with, what I did, when I did it and where I did it. I don't want or need that!!

He's Back!

Well, I was made a mod of this radio station page. On this page my buddy Jade, one of the admins, posted some music video that had something to do with cats. I posted that I hate cats. Well, except Siamese cats, but I didn't add that. LOL! You know how I love teasing the cat fags! Well, one cat fag spoke up named Tim Burks, and he said he hates people who don't like cats. He's the very definition of a cat fag! I told him that I'm glad he doesn't like me, because I hate cat fags like him. He's even signaled to me once that he doesn't want me posting pics of my dogs by putting up a picture of a cat lying on a sign that says "No dogs allowed, no not even little ones". I told him that's tough because I am going to post pics of dogs anyways. So I did.

This page is supposed to be about music. Well, cats have nothing to do with music. Cats cannot sing and they cannot dance. The sounds that cats do manage to croak out sound like fingernails screeching down a chalkboard. And the cat fags love it. I hate it. I never owned a cat for it's vocalizations. Dogs at least can sing. They do a cute little trot, so I say they can dance too. And I think some dogs are even more graceful than any cats. Look at foxes. They seem to glide along the ground when they run. They seem to move with very little effort. I've never seen any feline move with such little effort, not even the little ones. Dogs move like a ballerina, cats move like a former ballerina who got fat and thus has to put more effort into her moves.

Anyway, this is not really about cats and dogs and which one is better (we all know dogs are better). This is about Jade. I'm actually beginning not to like her that much. 2 nights ago, we were talking about this guy Tim Burks, she said that she unfriended him, and kicked him out of the group. He must have said something to offend her, so she kicked him out. I told her about one of her former mods in the group saying that s/he hates people who don't like cats. Now that Jade has fired most of the other mods (all but 3--me being one of them) I said to Jade that I want that person to say that now to my face, under his or her own name, so I can have the pleasure of banishing that person from the group. Jade told me that was Tim Burks, and told me that she kicked him out of the group.

Well, after telling me that, and us talking about him and his dumb profile pic for about an hour, I decided to find that former post. On the way, I found a picture he posted of his dumb cat. I called it ugly. Well, it's not a Siamese, so it's ugly to me. LOL! He posted that he didn't like that comment and wanted it erased. So what does Jade do? She deletes it and is apologetic about it too. I told her that I posted that comment and I am not sorry for it. He deserves it! I told her that if Mr. Burks does not like people who hates cats, then he needs to grow up and get a life. Jade said she agrees with me. I mean really. Only teenagers and 20-year olds hate people who don't like the same things they do. I have friends who don't like dogs, but I am still their friends, and I don't like them any less than my other friends who do like dogs. But that's the way a typical cat fag is.

The point is that Jade said she agrees with me, and that I have a right to my opinion, and then she kicks Mr. Burks out of the group for being disrespectful, and even unfriends him. Then she turned around and probably told Mr. Burks that I had no right to post that, and that he was in the right, and she agrees with him. Then she invites him to rejoin the group. Kindof hypocritical if you ask me. I know, it's her group, and she can invite whomever she wants to, but this isn't really about this. I would have loved to have been a fly on her wall when she probably chatted with Mr. Burks last night. She probably backpedaled everything she said to me in front of his face. I think Jade is so eager to be liked that she will make friends with just anyone. As long as they like her child's singing. That's the reason she was ever friends with Mr. Burks in the first place was because he likes her son's music. But I can tell you from personal experience with INXS fans that not everyone who likes the same music is a good person. In fact I know some INXS fans who are downright evil and I would want NOTHING to do with them! DonnaG being the best example of that! And her dumb followers!

Well, I showed that Tim Burks, I deleted the entire post about his stupid cat! This ain't no cat land! This is about the music. When cats get more musical, then he can post pics of them. That won't happen though for millions of years. But if he's just there to bring more cat faggotry, I'll delete his posts again. Unless he gets a Siamese, I'll continue to say his cat is ugly too. Yes I know. When it comes to cats, I am EXTREMELY prejudice!! LOL! You might call me a cat racist. I only like Siamese. In fact in another group I am a member of, someone is currently selling Siamese kittens, and I fell in love with them! Can't get one though, because my partner is coming here and we are going to find an apartment together. And I know how hard it is to find an apartment that will allow 3 pets. It's even getting increasingly harder to find a place that will allow us to have 2 pets! Thanks to irresponsible people, landlords are getting too overly cautious to allow more than one pet in their rentals. IF any at all. That is why I cannot get anymore pets.

National Friendship Day

Today is national Friendship Day and my first act was in deleting one of my buds off of Facebook! LOL! I rarely do that, and I usually don't like to do it. But this guy did something I hoped none of my friends would do. On a post he created he titled "My fair feline" about his cat that is 18 years old, I saw the title of the post and I had to throw in something about Vegas. I said "My Fair Booby". I tried to post a pic, but Facebook would not let me. So I told him that I was referring to my baby. Not the cat. Every time I see something cute like that title, I always add it to one of Vegas' many little nick names. I've been doing that for years. My favorite was the "Aqua-Booba" commercials. LOL! Well, this morning I discovered this guy had deleted my posts. So I said to him "What's the matter? You got something against my baby?" And I gave him a piece of my mind and said "Geez man you're going to delete my comments and all you do is talk to yourself on these posts? I'm cutting out!" And then I deleted him.

Well, it's true, that's all he does on all his posts, sits there and talks to himself. Seems every day, he's saying something different on each one of his posts, but no one ever responds to him. So, basically all he's doing is talking to himself, probably to get himself more views. I think he has mental issues, seriously. I'm not saying he's a bad person, he's very, VERY sweet. I must say though I feel a little strange with him calling me "honey" all the time, probably because he is younger than me. But he is also an overgrown baby. That's actually how I met him though. He's a mega fan of the Great Space Coaster. I was too when I was a kid. I loved that show. If it were to come back on TV, I might still sit and watch it just for the memories. But this guy also watches Tiny Toon Adventures, and has communicated with Candi Milo. To me, she's just a bum actress, but he thinks she's Princess Diana. Not only that, but I also found out he watches Sprout, and shows that are made for kids in nursery school. When I realized that, I began to think "there's something wrong with this dude!"

He wrote that he wished Michelle Lepe would comment on his picture of Big Bird he took at Universal Studios in Florida. I told him not all celebs talk to their fans. But he said that he's spoken to Candi Milo on Facebook when they used to be friends. She probably dumped him because she discovered the same thing I did, that he's too much an overgrown baby! But I just reminded him that not all celebs are going to speak to him. Not all of them enjoy communicating with their fans. Michelle Lepe is on the same level of luminaries as Candi Milo IMO. They're both bum actresses who will never be any greater than performing in kid's shows, or making one-time appearances on shows made for TV. I really think this dude needs to grow up. Seriously, he's 35 years old, still lives with his father, in his father's house, no income of any kind, doesn't even try to look for a job. Then he goes to these exotic places like Universal Studios, and Puerto Rico, and eats out every week at Hooters restaurants. The guy obviously needs to grow up!

Well, usually I hate deleting people, especially if they are so nice and all. But for some reason, I don't feel as bad about letting this guy go. Like I said, he needs to grow up. I still watch Sesame Street, well only the old-school version because of the skits and cartoons, and the memories they bring back. But I don't live it, like this guy seems to with Tiny Toons and the Great Space Coaster. I mean really, sometimes he seems obsessed with those things. And these bum actresses.

Well, it is National Friendship Day and I am wishing all my friends a good day. I am usually loyal to my friends. This was actually an isolated incident. There have been a very few friends (actually acquaintances) that I decided after I got to know them that I didn't want anything to do with them anymore. Like DonnaG. Good GOD I hate that woman! I still do. When I first met her, she seemed OK, but I let my guard down. I decided not to have anything to do with her when she said in a public forum that I am basically ugly. Well!! Even if it's true, it's not a nice thing to say, especially in the context she used. But her dumbass friends will stand by her, probably mostly because they are too scared to go against her. I wonder if she still sends out her "army" to attack people who tell the truth about her. Well, they can attack me all they want to, it still won't make me change my mind about DonnaG. Because the only people whose opinions matter to me, are my friends.

The funny thing is, most of her friends don't know it, but they are being used by Donna. If you notice she does not make friends with anyone who is not a close friend of the band members of INXS. She may be nice to the smaller fans, but she never would make friends with them. That's because she wants to become a friend of the band's. But they don't want anything to do with her, because she invades their space. She kisses them in the mouth, and wants to get into Jon's pants. She admitted that to me herself. And while I sometimes fantasize about Timmy, I would never, and have never, kissed him in the mouth! That's the unspoken, uncrossable line. If I were famous, and more beautiful, I wouldn't want any of my fans kissing me in the mouth!! You never know where their mouth has been, or mine for that matter! LOL! And that's just a line a fan should never cross. Especially when you first meet them. It's like that video I saw of a fan handcuffing herself to her favorite celebrity at the Emmy awards. I was embarrassed for her! And I don't even know the girl! But she humiliated herself, and she went too far.

I would totally be lying if I said I never fantasized about having sex with Timmy, but I would never act on it, and never EVER expect him to do it. When I met Timmy in Seattle behind the theater, I was a perfect lady. All I asked him for was a picture. Well, the picture he promised to me when we were in LA. hehehe! I was just helping him keep that promise! Well, that's not an invasion of his space, I didn't force him to take a pic with me. He did have the option to say no in that position. And if he was too busy to do it, I would have understood. But DonnaG did not give poor Jon a choice. She just reached over and kissed him in the mouth without asking him. And that's something I would never do. Even though they've been in the public spotlight a lot, they are still just people, and should not be denied their personal rights. What's funny about all this is Donna got all her stupid cronies on the delusional mods forum to harass and make fun of me. Even funnier, that forum does not seem to be up anymore and Netrage, who I guess owned the forum, said he would never take it down. I don't know. Maybe he came to his senses and realized he was bullshitting on the wrong person, as I am not as delusional as he liked to think I was. I won't deny I am crazy, but I am not as deluded as he thought.