Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Sunday, November 13, 2016

Weird Things Catfags Say

Oh boy! I could write a novel about this! LOL! Cat people are crazy enough. They cannot help it, they have cats, cats make people go crazy. But catfags are much worse. I think the prolonged exposure to cats makes these people even more crazy. If you ask me, cats should be banned from all countries, and put people who've had such massive exposure to them on some medication to fix their brains. But I wanted to write a post based on some of the dumbest and craziest things I've heard catfags say online and in real life. Most of them from the fags on YouTube. But believe me when I say I've also heard these things in real life. Though the people who say them seem unreal to me! LOL!

1. I don't trust anyone who doesn't like cats.
My response: Umm, why not? Cats are sneaky, and they have been associated with evil for many centuries. And let me tell you, some of the worst people I've ever met in my life have been cat-fags. Even when I used to like cats, I noticed cat people were more evil than dog people. I've even seen this comment and they finish it with "Whether you are allergic or not".

2. I can't get a ______ because my cat would never forgive me.
My response: WHAT?!?!?! Who runs your life? You or the cat? Who pays the household bills? You or the cat? Who controls what to do in an emergency? You or the cat? Would your cat save you if your house was on fire? NO! It'd save it's self! And most likely it'd hide under the bed because it's too stupid to know how to get outside! I even heard a woman say this to a bird owner when I was back at the shelter. She said she couldn't get a bird or her cat would never forgive her. This is one of the stupidest comments I've ever heard from cat owners. If I want a bird, I'm gonna get a bird. I don't give a shit what the cat thinks! If the cat doesn't like it, it knows where the way out is! Shoot! I'll even hold the door for it and escort it outside! And the cat needs not come back until it can accept my own decision of what to do in my OWN house!

3. The kitten is soooooooooooooooo cute!!!!!!!
My response: That's not cute! That's the most perfect form of manipulation!

4. Cats are the most perfect animals in the world.
My response: No they're not! There are lots better animals out there. Monkeys are better climbers and jumpers. Crocodiles are better killers. Rabbits are better leapers and runners. Dogs are better cuddlers and better protectors. Gazelles are better at ground-level acrobatics. The list goes on and on.

5. You can't get a _______ because you already have a cat!
My response: So what?! Cats are the most boring animals anyone can have. That's why I have to have the (dog/bird/baby). I don't even consider cats as pets because they don't do anything. Cats are more like squatters than pets. They aren't even as relaxing as a fishtank.

6. My _________ has been cat-approved.
My response (with a facepalm): OMG!! Who cares if a dumb cat approves anything you got!? You think I would put my trust in a creature who causes the extinction of many small animals throughout the world? You think I'm going to trust the judgment of a creature who does not love you, but instead wants you dead? (I'll get to that in a minute). Now have your dog approve the item, and I might give it a thumbs up!

7. My cat loves me. And I love it.
My response: You only think it loves you. You have mistaken tolerance for love. What cats feel for you is not love. There's no doubt in my mind you might love your cat. But it does not love you back. It loves your food. Nothing else. It loves that it does not have to work for anything, because for a lazy-ass housecat, not having to do anything is the best thing in it's world. They're even slow to kill a mouse. It has been proven that cats do not really love (or even like) their owners. They just tolerate them. A cat would kill it's owner if it was big enough.

8. Cats are assholes, and that's why I love them.
My response: Oh really? So do you also love people who are assholes? Do you love other animals that can be assholes? Do you invite these nasty people to visit your house, or even come to a party with you? Most likely I expect to hear "No". Why people love this behavior in cats is beyond me, but I guess that's part of a cat's ability to manipulate some peoples' minds.

9. At least cats are not butt-sniffers.
My response: Oh YES they are! You kneel down to your ankles to a group of cats, I guarantee you'll have some of them poking their nose in your butt in no time flat! Cats are every bit butt-sniffers as dogs are. You just cannot feel it because they're smaller than dogs, their noses are smaller, and they sniff more gently than dogs.

Well, those are some of the stupidest comments I've heard from catfags. Anyone else know of any others, let me know in the comments below.
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