At It Again!

UGH!! I am getting a mite frustrated with Jade. Not her real name. But anyways, now she has 3 pages, all with the same name. Named after her. This one, she claims she did not create! I knew she created it! She maintained since yesterday that someone else created this new page. She believes it was that Tim Burks character. It could have been, I don't know. Well, she had a 3rd page before (as if 2 isn't enough) and she deleted it. She kept asking me to make her a moderator again on that page. At first I thought she meant the radio station page. Then I thought she meant the 2nd page she made. But no, she had a 3rd page that she didn't tell me about. I wouldn't have joined anyways. She already has 2 pages I "liked" on Facebook. The second one, I "liked" because she asked me to. Then she made me a moderator on that page and I said OK. I don't mind helping out. I guess she thought she made me a moderator on this 3rd page, because she kept hounding me to make her a mod on that page again. I couldn't because I hadn't even "liked" that page. I was not even a member.

Well, Jade deleted that page, and then created this new page on Facebook, and tried to make me a content creator last night. I told her I am really not interested, because she already has 2 pages, and what ever she needs to post can be posted on those 2 pages. They work perfectly well. Well, this morning I come to find now she wants me to "like" that new page. I already told her I am not interested! I said if she didn't create this page, then I am not into it. Then she finally tells me that yes she did create this new page. I am still not interested. Like I said, she already has 2 pages that work perfectly well. She can post what ever she wants to on them. I am not going to support this 3rd page, when I know it's going to contain nothing but all the same content as she can put on the other 2. She creates these pages for her boy, who is very talented. But she names them after herself, not him or his band. I don't think that's fair.

If I support this page, I know what's going to happen. She'll bug me again about being a moderator for this page, and then she'll create another page, then another, then another, and expect me to be an admin to all those pages too. No. I cannot allow that to happen. I like Jade, but I have to stand firm on this. She said she wants me to admin this new page in case she loses it again. I told her no, I'm really not interested. If she loses it, she loses it. Fine by me! She already has 2 pages. I don't know why she felt the need to create this new page! She's on some kind of frenzy! To me, one page is enough! I only have 2 pages on Facebook, for 2 totally different subjects, one about speculative evolution, the other for UMG Productions. That's all I need. I don't have 2 or 3 separate pages for either one, and I am not going to create any new ones for them either. No point in that.

You know, Jade is a VERY sweet person, and I do like her a lot, but I think there is something wrong with her head. First she says Michael Hutchence lives in her child. And I don't mean like she thinks Michael is reincarnated into him, or that Michael inspired her child. She actually thinks her child IS Michael! Her child is very talented, and I can see him being inspired by Michael, but he is NOT Michael. Then when I tell her that I'm sure he was well inspired by Michael, she gets very defensive. Now she's got 3 pages on Facebook named after her, to promote her child. And this 3rd page, she's not even admitting she created. She says she didn't create it, but she is using it, and even tried to make me a moderator. If someone created a page for me without my permission, and I didn't know who they were, I would be suspicious. Not exactly happy unless I knew the creator's intention. But Jade maintains that she didn't create the page, and that she doesn't know who did. I don't know, something sounds not right to me! Something smells very fishy!

Sometimes chatting with Jade makes me feel a little uncomfortable, especially when she starts talking like she did with those 2 subjects. This new page thing has me a little bothered. It just seems so uncanny to me. Seems strange that she would use a page that was not created by her, and she says she doesn't even know who created it. Yet she is using it and it bears her name, and pictures of her child. This is getting a little too out there for me! If Jade bothers me about "liking" or moderating this new page again, I'm going to have to tell her that if she does, I'm going to have to unfriend her and take my name off all those pages' moderator lists. I am not supporting this new page. I have no intention to. I'm very sorry if it hurts her feelings, but I am not going to support this new page. I didn't ask her to create it, and I did not give her permission to add me as a content creator for it in the first place.

Something Horrible About Me

You know, I was talking about this on my last post, saying there is just something about me that people automatically hate. And I have absolutely NO idea what it is. No matter how hard I try to be nice to people, there is just something about me. It goes back to when I was in school. In 3rd grade, people just hated me. I moved from a school that I loved to a school that I hated. I remember in my previous school, there was only one kid that hated me so much, and it was a girl named Deanna. She told one of my friends that the reason she hated me so much was because when she invited me to come play at her house, she said I asked her mom for "this and that and this and that". I only remember asking her mom for a couple of things, one was a glass of water, which she actually offered me. The other was drawing paper. But apparently to Deanna, that was a curse. But at least she was honest about why she didn't like me. I'd prefer that to not knowing at all.

When I moved on to the next school, I barely said anything to anyone, since my words got me in trouble with one person at my previous school. I thought maybe I could better myself here by not talking to anyone. BAD mistake!!!!!! At this school, if you didn't talk, the kids would think you were retarded. That first day, the kids all asked me if my sister was retarded apparently because our first day at that school, my sis wanted to invite everyone she met to a slumber party at our place. It was supposed to be nothing more than a nice gesture, and hopefully a quick way to make friends. But the other kids did not take it that way. They took it to mean my sister was retarded.

Some people may scoff at me because I am fat, but you know what? This has been going on long before I ever got fat. I was not fat in 3rd grade. I just never talked to anyone. I was not fat in middle school or high school, but I did mature faster than the other kids. By that I mean I had "filled out" more. I was always nice to people in middle school and in high school. I was actually more popular in high school than I was in middle school. I remember in middle school, there would be this little boy named Joel, he was the same boy that used to call himself a Chihuahua. He was a weird-ass kid! I would sometimes see him playing with my friend's baby brother as I was walking home from school, they were best friends apparently. But I remember he used to call me names too. He was about 8 years old at that time, and he used to call me names. Why? I don't know. I didn't know him at all, and he'd never spoken to me, except to call me names or tell me that I was retarded because I refused to speak to some loony-ass kid who referred to himself as being a type of dog that is too cute for him! I never told him though that I thought he was crazy. Kids have fantasies, and I thought maybe that was Joel's fantasy, to be a Chihuahua. LOL! So, I left him alone. But he would still call me names.

I also remember back in 1991, my sis and I were walking our dog, Andy. We were just walking down the street, minding our own business, heading to the corner market, which was about 1/4 mile from where we lived. On the way, we noticed there was this Afro-American boy standing out by the road, and he had been staring at us for a long time. Just standing there and staring ever since we turned that corner to get on that road. He seemed to never take his eyes off us. This was a long road, it took about 10 minutes to walk down to where he was standing, and the whole time, he never took his eyes off me and my sister. I definitely felt there was something strange about it. I didn't know this boy, he looked like an older teenager, but younger than me. Maybe about 16 years old. My instincts did tell me that perhaps there was something not right, and my sis said "Have you noticed that guy hasn't stopped staring at us?" I answered, "Yes, that is strange!" I almost considered turning around and going the other way and take a different road. But by that time, my sis and I were already half way down that road.

When we got where that black kid was standing, we heard a bunch of girls talking but didn't see them. They saw Andy first, as he was a little ahead of me and my sis, then when we got into sight, the girl who was standing in their garage, behind their car, started shouting "Oh now I see 2 big rocks!" Another girl was on the front lawn, dying of laughing. The black boy simply watched us as we passed by. There were 2 grown men standing in the yard too, one was a young man, probably in his mid-30s, whom I know was a cop. There was also a big, fat, bald man talking to the younger man, this man was fatter than me and my sis. I don't know if the girls who were shouting names and shit at me and my sis were related to either of those people. If they were related to that big guy, that would have been funny. That's what they probably look like now. Either that or they have kids that look like him now. Obese children are a common sight now. I found it odd that neither one of those people did or said anything to stop those girls or shut them up. Yet the only ones who were laughing was the girl shouting the names and the girl in the yard.

Actually, I don't take being called a rock as an insult. I take it as a compliment. Like saying "you're tough as a rock!" hehehe! Even though I am sure that girl meant to say it with malice, I still did not take it as an insult. But knowing she meant to say it with malice, I am shocked the other people in the yard were just standing by, watching me and my sis. Not doing anything at all. Not even watching the girl who was shouting the names or the girl who was dying in the front yard. It almost seemed as if they were watching us hoping we would do something to her ourselves, with all of them there. Or expecting us to do something. But I kinda wonder, did they say the same kind of shit to the fat man that was standing in their yard? Because he was bigger than me and my sis put together! I was not even that fat back then! I had big knockers and that's it. LOL! My sis wasn't fat then either. Not that big! Surely neither one of us was as big as the bald man standing in the yard.

A year later, my sis and I were at the lake, going for a swim. There was this group of 11-12 year old girls there. The red-headed girl was extremely obnoxious and started saying shit in reference to me and my sis. There was an oriental girl in that group that told her to shut up and stop being so mean. She didn't stop though, she kept saying things about us. Well, after swimming for a while, we went back to our dog Andy, who had been tied to a table leg, waiting for us. There was a woman standing by our area with a dog of her own, a little terrier-like dog. She too was fat, in fact, she looked just like Rosanne Barr. She was fatter than me and my sis. She liked Andy though. Everyone liked Andy! Our little black and white papillon. We used to get a lot of compliments about how adorable he was! Well, as we were sitting there, that same bunch of girls walked up to the woman and her terrier-like dog and started petting the dog. The little red-haired girl was acting so nice and congenial to that woman, it was hard to believe she was the same girl who made rude cracks about my sis and me while we were swimming. I saw that red-haired girl look at Andy with great interest. I was holding Andy at the time, and I wouldn't let him go to those girls at all. The girl turned to that woman and asked her if Andy was her dog, and she said no, he belongs to us. The red-haired girl still looked at Andy with interest, but seemed a little disappointed that we had the better-looking dog! LOL! I know that red-haired girl wanted to come up and pet Andy so badly, but she knew I wasn't going to let her. So she didn't even bother to ask. LOL!

What gets me is, why was that red-haired girl so rude to me and my sis, but not to that woman who was as fat as Rosanne Barr? Neither I nor my sis ever said anything to that girl to warrant her rudeness towards us. We didn't know her, we'd never done anything to her before. Though I think she was polite to that other woman for no other reason than the fact that she liked her dog. Had that woman not had her dog with her, I wonder if that red-haired girl would have made nasty remarks about her too?

Then there was Andy. Not Andy our dog, I'm talking about the idiot in Bozeman. Captain Stinkaroo. I used to see him talking to fat people all the time. He used to chat with Leon. And Leon is 3 times as fat as I am. I don't know what they talk about, but I have seen Andy talking with Leon before. I don't know if Andy calls him names too in reference to his size. Plus, Andy is friends with Kim, and Kim is fatter than I am. In her ass. She has an ass as big as the side of a house! Yet Andy is congenial with her. He never calls her fat names. Not that I truly care what Andy thinks, but why is he nice to some fat people, but hates me and my sis with such passion? The point is, he's not the only one. There is just something about me that I think brings out the absolute worst in people. And I doubt all of it is just because I am fat. Or ugly.

Even cases where fat didn't seem to factor, and I was totally nice to someone, they seemed to cast me off like dirty diapers. Like with Patti. I was nothing but nice and respectful to her. Never had a cross word with her, never called her names, I never even so much as disagreed with her. I talked to her like a friend, I never mistreated her in any way. We did disagree on what foods we liked, but normally that wouldn't matter to someone. Well, not someone with sense. I never said Patti had any sense! But there was just something about me that she did not like at all. I didn't do the dishes ONE night, and I do mean ONE night!! That's what seemed to make Patti go over the edge. She gave me all kinds of excuses why she didn't want me living there anymore, but I can honestly tell you all, to a normal person, NONE of it would have mattered. Especially since no contracts were signed.

I know a lot of people just don't like fat people, but I see someone like Andy, talking to one fat person in a friendly manner, and in the same breath say hateful and rude things to another fat person that never did him any harm, that puzzles me. And I don't buy that bullshit that people hate fat people because they raise the cost of health care!! I don't buy that at all! I don't believe an 8 year old, a 15-year old, or an 11 or 12 year old calls someone fat names because they're concerned about the cost of health care!! And those scenarios occurred LONG before this health care crisis got started! So I don't believe anyone calls someone fat names because they give even the slightest shit about health care costs! And I sure as HELL don't believe they call us names because they are concerned about our own health! I truly think these nutjobs just use that as a cover-up because they don't want to admit that they are cruel, immoral, sociopathic shitheads with no personality of their own! That's my opinion. At least when people start admitting that, then the world can be honest with one another.

No Respect For Vegans

Vegans wonder why I have no respect for them and I won't listen to them. Well, I remember some months ago, one of my vegan friends hit an animal by accident with her car, and she was talking about how she was beginning to wonder if driving a car is truly an act of veganism. I thought it was interesting she would think about that. Because honestly, nothing humans do in this world is an act of veganism. The fact that we are even here is not an act of veganism. We are here and we are reproducing. But you want to know what I feel is the strongest contradictor to acts of veganism? The fact that most vegans I know own cats. I've said before that I would have more respect for vegans if most of them didn't own cats. I mean seriously, my own personal feelings about cats aside. Vegans want to take the most carnivorous of mammals and bring them into their home and force them into a vegan diet! Then they turn around and call wild felines "obligate carnivores", and then don't respect the animal's natural diet in their own home. That to me is one of the highest forms of animal abuse anyone could commit. If vegans want a small mammal that they can cuddle and feed a vegan diet, why not get a rabbit instead?? I'll never understand that concept with vegans.

Tonight another one of my vegan friends mentioned that her 2 cats mangled a lizard and the poor thing is dying. I felt so bad for the lizard, but at the same time, angry at this friend! It was her own idea to bring those damn cats into her household. And then she gripes at people who go to the market and buy meat. Can't she see that what she is doing is no better than her claiming people like me are "supporting the suffering and torture of animals"? Just with the simple act of owning cats, she is also supporting the killing of animals like that lizard. A cat is not going to stop being a cat, no matter how much she tries to stop it. Their bodies are going to crave meat. And even well-fed cats are still going to catch, torture and kill other animals just for fun. The same acts that piss her off when people do it. The only difference is most people are not out there killing their own cattle, or pigs, or chickens. We just go and buy their meat at a store. We don't commit the acts of caging, milking, killing or butchering. Yet vegans point their fingers at everyone who eats meat for "supporting" those acts. By the same token, I should call cat-owning vegans murderers for owning an animal that tortures and kills other animals for it's own pleasure.

That is why I refuse to listen to vegans. That is how I see them. Those that own cats lose all their credibility with me because of that. Makes them sound as much like hypocrites as they think I am because I eat meat and I also own pets. When vegans make that connection, they sound so stupid to me! And putting an animal that is born to eat nothing but meat on a vegan diet, which is definitely going to hurt the animal in the long run, that is incredibly stupid! People like that make me want to really blow up!! They want to take away my right to enjoy having meat on my plate, yet they commit the most grotesque acts of animal abuse I've ever known. I say "grotesque" because they don't seem to know what they are doing is no better than what they accuse people like me of doing. Yes I am angry! I am angry that vegans think they have a right to tell me how to live when they have not perfected that field yet themselves! Makes me MAD!!!!!

I saw a video trailer for a movie coming out about veganism. It had some interviews with people who are vegans now. I saw that and my first reaction was "What a bunch of wussies!" LOL! That's what vegans are! Nothing but a bunch of wussies! Anytime you see people who go to such lengths to save a bunch of prey animals' butts, you know they have to be wussies! Especially when most of them keep predatory animals in their homes. I always say, if we don't eat these animals, some other animal will. It might as well be us.

And I refuse to bunk with vegans! I will NOT stay in their home. I remember some time ago when I went those rounds with MsPearlsGirl, she said her vegan boyfriend would not touch me if he were drowning in a sea of piss. To me, that's actually a good thing! I would be more pissed off if her boyfriend ever touched me! Since vegans are so adamant about not killing any living thing, I can imagine her boyfriend is probably infested with lice, ticks, fleas, worms, and a bunch of other nasty parasites! And imagine living with a vegan. I always said if I take in roommates, the one thing I would never allow is a vegan to live in my house! Because they would let in all kinds of ants, cockroaches, flies, mosquitos, and other nasty things! And if I see these things in my house, I'm gonna kill them! I wouldn't want a vegan infested with parasites sleeping on any bed in my house! Or on my sofa either. NO way!!!! NO vegans allowed!

Twin Behavior

I was reading an article on the sidebar of this site that talks about twin behavior, and how it is possibly influenced by genes. That cannot be true. At least not in the case of this set of twins I knew in middle school. There were these two boys, Jeff and Jerry Massey. They were identical twins. On sight, a person could never tell them apart. You'd never know the difference until you actually spoke to them. I remember Jeff was a very nice guy, while Jerry was a complete asshole. I was not the only one who thought that either. Everyone in the school knew Jerry was psychotic. Some people in the school, like some of the people at that apartment complex in Bozeman, excused Jerry's rude behavior. And Jerry would be nasty without provocation. All you would have to do is look crosseyed at him and he would hate your guts! And he used to beat up girls. I've seen him do it before.

The funny thing about that is my sis went to school with Jeff and Jerry's big brother Tom, and according to my sis, Tom had the same attitude as Jerry. That told me a lot! That told me that those boys must live in a house full of hatred and violence. My guess is their father beats up on their mother. Or maybe they don't have a father. Maybe they only have a mother, and perhaps an abusive stepfather, and they never learned how to treat women right. Or perhaps their parents were never there for them. Possibly they were workaholics, and didn't raise those kids. But how Jeff was the only one out of those 3 boys that did not become an asshole, is what intrigues me. That was what made me start thinking about this. Is twin behavior genetic? Or is it learned? Well, I am no psychologist, so I have very little credibility for this argument. But that doesn't mean I cannot be interested in it.

In my opinion, I think a lot of behavior is learned. I think it all depends on who the twins spend the most time with. My guess in the case of Jeff and Jerry, perhaps Jerry spent more time with his older brother Tom. Jeff probably spent most of his growing up years with friends, who perhaps taught him some decency. I know Jerry didn't hate me because I was shy, and a little plump, as his very best friend was also a shy, quiet girl who was also more plump than I was. A sweetheart of a girl, but yes she was fatter than I was. I don't know what it is with me! I seem to always bring out the worst in people. No matter what I do!

Take Patti for example, I was sweet as pie to her the whole time I was living with her. I always smiled, said hello when we crossed paths, I cooked for her, I let her have her opinions and I had mine, and I kept my mouth shut about my opinions while I was there too. Unless Patti asked me what I thought of something. Even then I kept my speech down to a bare minimum. But somewhere along the way, something happened. It started when Patti asked me if I'd ever had kids, and just got worse from there. That's why to this day, I believe she was planning some kind of ambush. Patti and I were talking that evening after she got home from work. As we were talking about marriage, I mentioned I am usually a good judge of character. Patti asked me what I thought of her, and I told her what I thought of her at that time. I told her I thought she seemed like a nice person. At that time she did seem nice. I believe that was part of her ambush plan. I don't think she wanted me to think she was nice. Maybe she got her kicks out of being nasty. I don't know. But I do know that I was nothing but nice to her while I was living there, and the last 2 days, she just treated me like crap.

The reason I just cannot get over this is because there were so many occasions I should have just told Patti off!! And I didn't! I let Patti walk all over me, on purpose! All for the sake of trying to get along. I didn't want to yell at her, I didn't want to get angry with her, I didn't even want to disagree with her! There were some times I just wanted to punch Patti in the face! But I didn't because I didn't want her to be afraid of me. I tried so hard to get along with Patti and all that time and energy was just wasted! THAT is what I just cannot get over. I should not have been too nice to her. I should have just said what I was thinking, and if it would have got me kicked out of her place then so be it! I was totally nice to Patti and I got kicked out anyways. So, what difference would it have made if I was mean to her and got kicked out? The only difference I could think of is that at least I would have had my say, instead of letting her use me as a doormat! If I could have just told Patti to shut up once, even that would make me feel better right now! This is also the reason I don't believe Patti's ex-husband was abusive on purpose. Patti probably harassed him just like she did me! She sure made me want to beat her up too. I cannot even begin to tell you how much self-restraint it took out of me to not hit Patti! It's totally unfathomable!

I kinda wonder if people can sense that I just don't like people. And it's people like Patti that makes me hate people even more than before! One of these days, I'm just going to stop talking to people altogether. It's a lot better to just not talk to people than to get burned. It's not like I even always play the victim card. I know when I am to blame for something. If I am wrong I always say I am sorry. I'm not like Onision, GOD forbid!! He killed his pet tortoise this past week and now he's looking for excuses why it died. He's even saying it may have been shocked by construction noises going on near his house. Bullshit!! I just always wondered why I always bring out the worst in people. Well, I guess I should just remember the words of John Lennon. Being honest won't make you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones.

How I Saw Patti vs. How Patti Saw Me

I am going to mock Patti Killebrew again in this post. Well shoot! I had fun writing the scenario in which I thought about what her non-existent children's lives would have been like if she'd had them. So, this post is going to be more how it was, rather than how it would have been. There's a lot to mock! The woman was a raging, satanic, controlling lunatic! And that's a fact. I lived with her for 4 days, I got a good dose of what she was like. I can pack a lot into that 4 days I lived with her, we each saw things very differently. This afternoon, I was remembering a conversation I had with her the day before she went totally bonkers on me. It was after she got home from work with a client that she stated she did not like very well because the client's husband was too controlling. Oh how ironic that is after I got to know Patti!! LOL! Well, these are some scenarios based on conversations we actually did have while I was there, and what I think was the final result of having those conversations and what I believe Patti was trying to convey when she said what she did during those conversations.

Before I moved in with her, Patti said: "I'm so motivated to move you in, I don't even care about a security deposit."
What I interpreted after living there: You get what you pay for!

During the interview, Patti said: "My favorite kind of food is comfort food."
What I interpreted after living there: "Screw comfort food. I only eat health food. If you don't eat what I eat, I don't like you!"

During the interview, Patti said: "I like to watch British TV shows."
What I interpreted after living there: I like to watch dark, angry shows where people have fun killing others, and the whole world is screwed up!"

When I sat down with Patti that first morning for breakfast, she told me her brother wanted me to sign a contract, which would have been fine with me. But Patti didn't want to go through all that stuff. I interpreted it to mean: "OK, so I am moving in and binding to no rules or regulations, I don't have to do anything if I don't want to."
Patti was in reality thinking: "I can kick you out anytime I want to without warning or 30-days notice, and I don't have to even have a good reason to kick you out!"

When Patti met my dogs, I told her my sis and I used to breed Chihuahuas, and that Vegas was one of our creations.
Patti interpreted that to mean: "So you didn't rescue Vegas from a shelter? You were adding to the pet overpopulation problem!"

After I moved in, Patti suggested after her brother sold that house, we move into an apartment together and split the rent evenly. I told her how hard it was to find an apartment that will allow 3 tiny dogs. If we would have added Patti's huge dog and 2 cats to that equation it would have been damn near impossible to find a place.
Patti took that to mean: "Oh shit! Now that I have a roommate, what have I gotten myself into?"

After I moved in, I offered to help Patti buy furniture from the local thrift store. Patti's reaction to that was: "Be careful, thrift store furniture sometimes comes with bugs!"
Then she moves an old easy chair that had been out in the barn that had for years been collecting chicken crap on it, and was dirty and stinky into the house. How Patti saw it: "That chair cannot be dirty and have bugs on it because it's mine."

Patti wanted to invite my ma and stepfather for a barbecue the weekend after I moved in. I looked on the barbecue grill and there were dirty old boots on the grill it's self. After seeing Patti put bread down on the same cutting board she had the mutt's food dish on without cleaning it first, I believed Patti was thinking: "I want to poison both you and your family with my family's germs and internal parasites!"

BTW, I prayed to GOD to get me and my family OUT of that barbecue and GOD answered my prayers when Patti kicked me out of her house! Hallelujah!!

My second night there, Patti bought an ice cream cone for me. I thought at first it was a nice gesture. In reality, it probably meant: "OK, I gave you a treat. Now you're going to do whatever I want you to, or else!" I truly believe this was the beginning of an ambush plan that Patti had.

Patti and I talked about her abusive ex-husband, and how she never had children of her own. Then she asked me if I ever had kids and I said no. Patti said "You've had a boring life, haven't you?!" What I think she really meant was: "You've never lived until you've had a husband that beats the living shit out of you!"

My third day there was when Patti and I went shopping, and that is when she went completely bonkers! I offered to buy food for her, whatever she wanted. I think Patti took that to mean: "Really? Does this mean I can also use you to do anything I want you to?"

Patti asked me if I had any limitations on what I could buy. I think in reality, she was trying to say: "I don't care about your limitations, I'm going to control whatever you eat anyway!"

Then Patti told me what kind of food she didn't want in the house, which was margarine. I said "OK. I don't eat margarine anyways." What Patti was hoping I would say is: "Oh no! I like margarine!" and be all sad and upset that I cannot get any.

Patti really went berserk when she found out I bought myself a couple of burritos, even though she went to Taco Bell frequently and bought herself burritos. Patti's thought on that was: "Do as I say, not as I do!"

When we were putting the groceries up, Patti told me to put the package of chicken in the refrigerator for the barbecue. I thought it was wrong, since the barbecue was 5 days away, but I felt if I didn't do what she wanted, she would bitch at me to no end. Well, when Patti saw the package of chicken in the refrigerator, she asked me "Why is this in the refrigerator and not in the freezer?" I reminded her that she told me to put it in there. Patti said "You can't think for yourself?" In reality, Patti was thinking, "Oh shit! You got me with my own words, and now I can't really bitch at you because of this!"

After putting up the groceries, Patti took me out to the barn to crush some cans. After that, Patti told me to show her how I close the barn door. I didn't know how, as it was a heavy, metal door and I was used to wooden barn doors. So I closed it the best way I could, while Patti stood by with an evil grin on her face. Patti said "That's not how you close a barn door. That's how you break a barn door!" The look on her face, and her tone of voice reminded me of when I was in 4th grade, the school bully named Melody, tried to teach me how to do crazy 8s, and she said if I didn't learn to do it right soon, she was going to beat me up.

That night, in the kitchen, I was trying to replenish what I had puked up earlier after being poisoned by Patti. Patti comes down with an angry look on her face. She says nothing at first. To this day, I believe she probably would have just went back to bed if I hadn't said anything to her first. As Patti was giving her lecture about health food and shit, I was standing there thinking: "I shouldn't have said anything to Patti!" Patti's whole speech was about "You live in my brother's house, you do as I say, and you eat whatever I want you to!"

Patti also griped because my sandwich was a little dark. Patti turns and says to herself "She's up at 10 PM burning cheese sandwiches!" I told Patti that I was not used to her gas stove yet, and that's why the sandwich got a little dark. But it was still good! Patti had this evil grin on her face again as she mockingly said "You don't know how to use a stove?" I told her it had been several years since I used a gas stove, and mine was not like her's.

The next day was when I officially got kicked out of Patti's brother's house. Patti gave me the news as I put my dogs outside. My only response was "Cool!" What I really wanted to say was: "Awesomeness!! I can't wait to get out! I'll go get my things packed right away!" Patti was hoping I would say: "Oh no! Now I have to go back and live with my ma! Can't I stay? PLEASE?" She gave me a look like "Huh?? You're not upset???" In reality, I took it as GOD answering my prayer to get me out of Patti's e-coli barbecue!

When I got back inside, before I started packing, I told Patti I wanted to inform my Facebook friends that I am no longer living with a roommate. Because I told them that morning how big a bitch Patti was being the day before, and that I don't think my staying there was going to last much longer. Many of my Facebook friends had been following my posts ever since I first moved in with Patti. So, I felt I had to update them with this new, and exciting, news. I said to Patti: "First, I need to tell my Facebook friends about this. IF that's OK with you!" Patti took that to mean: "I'm telling all my friends what a big meanie you are." In reality, I mentioned nothing about Patti's personality in that post.

As I was working on my computer, updating my Facebook status, Patti gets angry because I was doing it in the kitchen and says "Could you just hurry up and pack your stuff because you're getting in my face about this!" I interpreted that to mean "So you're not upset about getting kicked out? Well, I'm going to say as much shit as I can to make you feel like this whole thing was your fault! Then I will make you feel bad!" In reality, I just couldn't wait to get packed. I was just hoping my ma would read my status and come get me out of there!

Later that night, after I was all packed, Patti told me I could come out of my room and eat something. I thought back to earlier that day, when I saw Patti's brother using the dishwashing sponge to clean dirty bins that had been sitting out in the barn for 10 years, and I had to use that same sponge to clean the dishes. I thought of that and I told Patti "No thank you!" Patti said "Are you sure?" I said yes. In reality, Patti was thinking: "Oh good! I made her feel bad and now she's lost her appetite! haw-haw-haw!!" In reality, it was her brother's misuse of the dishwashing sponge that made me lose my appetite! I didn't want to get sick again!

That is why I am so grateful that I no longer live with Patti! I'm grateful I got out of there! I am grateful Patti and I did not look for any apartment together! I couldn't have stood living with her for one more day! Though Patti viciously denied it, she was trying to control everything I did, ate, liked, who I spoke to, who I associated with, what I did, when I did it and where I did it. I don't want or need that!!

He's Back!

Well, I was made a mod of this radio station page. On this page my buddy Jade, one of the admins, posted some music video that had something to do with cats. I posted that I hate cats. Well, except Siamese cats, but I didn't add that. LOL! You know how I love teasing the cat fags! Well, one cat fag spoke up named Tim Burks, and he said he hates people who don't like cats. He's the very definition of a cat fag! I told him that I'm glad he doesn't like me, because I hate cat fags like him. He's even signaled to me once that he doesn't want me posting pics of my dogs by putting up a picture of a cat lying on a sign that says "No dogs allowed, no not even little ones". I told him that's tough because I am going to post pics of dogs anyways. So I did.

This page is supposed to be about music. Well, cats have nothing to do with music. Cats cannot sing and they cannot dance. The sounds that cats do manage to croak out sound like fingernails screeching down a chalkboard. And the cat fags love it. I hate it. I never owned a cat for it's vocalizations. Dogs at least can sing. They do a cute little trot, so I say they can dance too. And I think some dogs are even more graceful than any cats. Look at foxes. They seem to glide along the ground when they run. They seem to move with very little effort. I've never seen any feline move with such little effort, not even the little ones. Dogs move like a ballerina, cats move like a former ballerina who got fat and thus has to put more effort into her moves.

Anyway, this is not really about cats and dogs and which one is better (we all know dogs are better). This is about Jade. I'm actually beginning not to like her that much. 2 nights ago, we were talking about this guy Tim Burks, she said that she unfriended him, and kicked him out of the group. He must have said something to offend her, so she kicked him out. I told her about one of her former mods in the group saying that s/he hates people who don't like cats. Now that Jade has fired most of the other mods (all but 3--me being one of them) I said to Jade that I want that person to say that now to my face, under his or her own name, so I can have the pleasure of banishing that person from the group. Jade told me that was Tim Burks, and told me that she kicked him out of the group.

Well, after telling me that, and us talking about him and his dumb profile pic for about an hour, I decided to find that former post. On the way, I found a picture he posted of his dumb cat. I called it ugly. Well, it's not a Siamese, so it's ugly to me. LOL! He posted that he didn't like that comment and wanted it erased. So what does Jade do? She deletes it and is apologetic about it too. I told her that I posted that comment and I am not sorry for it. He deserves it! I told her that if Mr. Burks does not like people who hates cats, then he needs to grow up and get a life. Jade said she agrees with me. I mean really. Only teenagers and 20-year olds hate people who don't like the same things they do. I have friends who don't like dogs, but I am still their friends, and I don't like them any less than my other friends who do like dogs. But that's the way a typical cat fag is.

The point is that Jade said she agrees with me, and that I have a right to my opinion, and then she kicks Mr. Burks out of the group for being disrespectful, and even unfriends him. Then she turned around and probably told Mr. Burks that I had no right to post that, and that he was in the right, and she agrees with him. Then she invites him to rejoin the group. Kindof hypocritical if you ask me. I know, it's her group, and she can invite whomever she wants to, but this isn't really about this. I would have loved to have been a fly on her wall when she probably chatted with Mr. Burks last night. She probably backpedaled everything she said to me in front of his face. I think Jade is so eager to be liked that she will make friends with just anyone. As long as they like her child's singing. That's the reason she was ever friends with Mr. Burks in the first place was because he likes her son's music. But I can tell you from personal experience with INXS fans that not everyone who likes the same music is a good person. In fact I know some INXS fans who are downright evil and I would want NOTHING to do with them! DonnaG being the best example of that! And her dumb followers!

Well, I showed that Tim Burks, I deleted the entire post about his stupid cat! This ain't no cat land! This is about the music. When cats get more musical, then he can post pics of them. That won't happen though for millions of years. But if he's just there to bring more cat faggotry, I'll delete his posts again. Unless he gets a Siamese, I'll continue to say his cat is ugly too. Yes I know. When it comes to cats, I am EXTREMELY prejudice!! LOL! You might call me a cat racist. I only like Siamese. In fact in another group I am a member of, someone is currently selling Siamese kittens, and I fell in love with them! Can't get one though, because my partner is coming here and we are going to find an apartment together. And I know how hard it is to find an apartment that will allow 3 pets. It's even getting increasingly harder to find a place that will allow us to have 2 pets! Thanks to irresponsible people, landlords are getting too overly cautious to allow more than one pet in their rentals. IF any at all. That is why I cannot get anymore pets.

National Friendship Day

Today is national Friendship Day and my first act was in deleting one of my buds off of Facebook! LOL! I rarely do that, and I usually don't like to do it. But this guy did something I hoped none of my friends would do. On a post he created he titled "My fair feline" about his cat that is 18 years old, I saw the title of the post and I had to throw in something about Vegas. I said "My Fair Booby". I tried to post a pic, but Facebook would not let me. So I told him that I was referring to my baby. Not the cat. Every time I see something cute like that title, I always add it to one of Vegas' many little nick names. I've been doing that for years. My favorite was the "Aqua-Booba" commercials. LOL! Well, this morning I discovered this guy had deleted my posts. So I said to him "What's the matter? You got something against my baby?" And I gave him a piece of my mind and said "Geez man you're going to delete my comments and all you do is talk to yourself on these posts? I'm cutting out!" And then I deleted him.

Well, it's true, that's all he does on all his posts, sits there and talks to himself. Seems every day, he's saying something different on each one of his posts, but no one ever responds to him. So, basically all he's doing is talking to himself, probably to get himself more views. I think he has mental issues, seriously. I'm not saying he's a bad person, he's very, VERY sweet. I must say though I feel a little strange with him calling me "honey" all the time, probably because he is younger than me. But he is also an overgrown baby. That's actually how I met him though. He's a mega fan of the Great Space Coaster. I was too when I was a kid. I loved that show. If it were to come back on TV, I might still sit and watch it just for the memories. But this guy also watches Tiny Toon Adventures, and has communicated with Candi Milo. To me, she's just a bum actress, but he thinks she's Princess Diana. Not only that, but I also found out he watches Sprout, and shows that are made for kids in nursery school. When I realized that, I began to think "there's something wrong with this dude!"

He wrote that he wished Michelle Lepe would comment on his picture of Big Bird he took at Universal Studios in Florida. I told him not all celebs talk to their fans. But he said that he's spoken to Candi Milo on Facebook when they used to be friends. She probably dumped him because she discovered the same thing I did, that he's too much an overgrown baby! But I just reminded him that not all celebs are going to speak to him. Not all of them enjoy communicating with their fans. Michelle Lepe is on the same level of luminaries as Candi Milo IMO. They're both bum actresses who will never be any greater than performing in kid's shows, or making one-time appearances on shows made for TV. I really think this dude needs to grow up. Seriously, he's 35 years old, still lives with his father, in his father's house, no income of any kind, doesn't even try to look for a job. Then he goes to these exotic places like Universal Studios, and Puerto Rico, and eats out every week at Hooters restaurants. The guy obviously needs to grow up!

Well, usually I hate deleting people, especially if they are so nice and all. But for some reason, I don't feel as bad about letting this guy go. Like I said, he needs to grow up. I still watch Sesame Street, well only the old-school version because of the skits and cartoons, and the memories they bring back. But I don't live it, like this guy seems to with Tiny Toons and the Great Space Coaster. I mean really, sometimes he seems obsessed with those things. And these bum actresses.

Well, it is National Friendship Day and I am wishing all my friends a good day. I am usually loyal to my friends. This was actually an isolated incident. There have been a very few friends (actually acquaintances) that I decided after I got to know them that I didn't want anything to do with them anymore. Like DonnaG. Good GOD I hate that woman! I still do. When I first met her, she seemed OK, but I let my guard down. I decided not to have anything to do with her when she said in a public forum that I am basically ugly. Well!! Even if it's true, it's not a nice thing to say, especially in the context she used. But her dumbass friends will stand by her, probably mostly because they are too scared to go against her. I wonder if she still sends out her "army" to attack people who tell the truth about her. Well, they can attack me all they want to, it still won't make me change my mind about DonnaG. Because the only people whose opinions matter to me, are my friends.

The funny thing is, most of her friends don't know it, but they are being used by Donna. If you notice she does not make friends with anyone who is not a close friend of the band members of INXS. She may be nice to the smaller fans, but she never would make friends with them. That's because she wants to become a friend of the band's. But they don't want anything to do with her, because she invades their space. She kisses them in the mouth, and wants to get into Jon's pants. She admitted that to me herself. And while I sometimes fantasize about Timmy, I would never, and have never, kissed him in the mouth! That's the unspoken, uncrossable line. If I were famous, and more beautiful, I wouldn't want any of my fans kissing me in the mouth!! You never know where their mouth has been, or mine for that matter! LOL! And that's just a line a fan should never cross. Especially when you first meet them. It's like that video I saw of a fan handcuffing herself to her favorite celebrity at the Emmy awards. I was embarrassed for her! And I don't even know the girl! But she humiliated herself, and she went too far.

I would totally be lying if I said I never fantasized about having sex with Timmy, but I would never act on it, and never EVER expect him to do it. When I met Timmy in Seattle behind the theater, I was a perfect lady. All I asked him for was a picture. Well, the picture he promised to me when we were in LA. hehehe! I was just helping him keep that promise! Well, that's not an invasion of his space, I didn't force him to take a pic with me. He did have the option to say no in that position. And if he was too busy to do it, I would have understood. But DonnaG did not give poor Jon a choice. She just reached over and kissed him in the mouth without asking him. And that's something I would never do. Even though they've been in the public spotlight a lot, they are still just people, and should not be denied their personal rights. What's funny about all this is Donna got all her stupid cronies on the delusional mods forum to harass and make fun of me. Even funnier, that forum does not seem to be up anymore and Netrage, who I guess owned the forum, said he would never take it down. I don't know. Maybe he came to his senses and realized he was bullshitting on the wrong person, as I am not as delusional as he liked to think I was. I won't deny I am crazy, but I am not as deluded as he thought.

Science Turned On It's Head

Don't get me wrong, I love science. Just the other day though I read something that I think turns science upside-down. I read about people-friendly tigers. Believe it or not! I read that scientists have noticed that even wild tigers are adapting to become more friendly towards people. This is interesting. Not that it changes my mind about tigers in general, but the Bible says that one day the lion will lay down with the lamb. This new kinship between tigers and humans may be the first in a series of steps toward true World peace. I don't believe it's going to happen tomorrow, or next year, or even 50 years from now, but we've got to start with a baby step somewhere. And to think, atheists call the Bible a book of fairytales. Well, some things I do still question in the Bible. But I read and have been hearing for years that lions will one day lay down with lambs. And perhaps one day tigers will lay down with humans.

Maybe people visiting tigers in their native jungles has gotten them used to the sight of humans, and they are seeing us less and less as food, and more as friends. Not me, but other humans. Either that or years of being hunted by humans has got tigers now thinking "If we can't lick 'em, join 'em!" Something is happening for sure, because 20 years ago, humans were being hunted, killed and maimed by tigers. Now, they want to make friends with us. Weird world we live in! I bet though that this will make the panther fanatics happy. Now they can have tigers as pets like they always wanted. Let them experience the thrill of waking up one morning and find out their tiger has snapped! They can masturbate to the joy of having their pet tiger chew off their arms and legs. They can wallow in the delight they will feel when their pet tiger is disemboweling them, preparing to eat them. And if none of that makes the panther fanatics jump for joy, they will surely believe their most fondest dreams have come true when their pet tiger is chowing down on their former pet tabby cat. Good bye Fluffy!

I think this is propaganda set up by panther-crazy scientists. Tigers never liked people, never will like people, and people can stop dreaming of those days to arrive when tigers will accept us in their world. It won't happen.

Old Buddies

Ya know, I was always the "go-to" girl. The one that everyone would turn to when their regular friends gave up on them. Could have been because I was their "last resort" when they didn't have anyone else to play with, or it may have been because I was comforting. I still always try to comfort my friends in their times of need. Sometimes they may want comforting, sometimes they may not. Usually if they don't, they'll tell me and I'll back off. I've actually had that happen a few times. I can understand someone wanting to wollow in misery for a while. I do it myself sometimes. But when I do, I usually stay off the internet, and watch a movie on TV, or my DVD player, or work on one of my stories. Those are my escapes. I tend to sometimes believe if someone is miserable and they get on the internet and announce it, either they are in need of comfort, or they are fishing for sympathy. One or the other. Though I know those are not always the cases. Could be like me, writing about something that disturbs someone helps them to get over it. That's why I keep my blog.

I remember when I was in 5th grade, I had this friend, named Leisa Belle, she was the first kid I met when I went to my 5th grade class. She was always so funny back then. We were at an age when doing things that I now perceive as disgusting, was funny, and Leisa would do these kind of things a lot. I remember she used to always have some kind of affinity for playing with kids who were much older than we were during recess. I remember one day, her best friend Tina decided she didn't want to be Leisa's best friend anymore. So instead she played with me. I remember while I was playing with her, someone shouted to her that Tina doesn't want to play with her anymore and Leisa responded with "So? I don't care! I don't even like her anymore!" It was hard for me to believe because she and Tina were such good, bosom buddies.

I also remember Leisa was a bit of a crybaby. I remember in my 2nd week in that school, our teacher brought in a gorgeous-looking corn snake to class as a sort of science project. I had always gone out hunting for snakes in those days, but my usual findings were garter snakes. Nothing like this corn snake! That was a beautiful snake! Well, after the snake had been there for a week, the teacher decided to show us how it eats. So, she went to the pet store and bought a little black and white mouse to feed the snake. She gave the whole class an option to either watch the snake feed, or sit quietly at our desks and do something else. Not one single kid in that classroom wanted to sit at their desk. The snake eating was much more interesting! Everyone gathered around the snake's cage and the teacher grabbed a coffee can that had the mouse inside and put the mouse into the snake's cage.

That was not a dumb mouse! He was actually quite intelligent. He knew why he was in there, when he saw the snake curled up on one side of the cage. He paced around, and frolicked a bit on the opposite side of the cage. Most of my own personal experiences with live feeding snakes, and other videos I've seen of it on YouTube, the mouse will actually go right up to the snake and get in it's face. They seem to not understand why they are in the cage with the snake. But this mouse did! It was in the cage for a good 15-20 minutes before the snake finally chased the mouse. The mouse bounded along the edges of the cage to stay one step ahead of the snake. It had a look of fear and horror in it's eyes. It took a huge leap when it felt the snake was too close and the snake would lose the mouse for a few seconds. Then when it smelled the mouse again, it would go in pursuit of it again, and the mouse bounded along the edges of the cage again as fast as it could. This time when the mouse made a huge leap, it hit the top of the cage and knocked it's self a bit unconscious, and laid there for a second with it's eyes half closed. It was still alive though, and this was an opportunity for the snake to close in.

Corn snakes, like boas and pythons, are constrictors, and it quickly wrapped it's self around the mouse and I could actually see it's muscles tighten around the unfortunate mouse's body. I remember the mouse kicked a couple of times, and then fell completely unconscious. I don't know if it died from the constriction or the shock, but it didn't take long for that mouse to give up. I was fascinated by what I was seeing, so were most of the other kids. Leisa was actually the only one who started crying. And she went to the teacher when she did. She didn't want to watch anymore. I was completely used to seeing this kind of drama on TV. While most kids watched Sesame Street and reading The Little Engine That Could, I was watching nature shows and reading books about animals. So I was used to seeing animals killing one another. But I did feel bad that Leisa felt sad. But first and foremost, the snake does have to eat. Just like we do. As bad as one might have felt for the mouse, one has to feel for the snake too. There were even some kids laughing at this spectacle, because back then, kids seeing a mouse defecating on it's self while being squeezed to death was funny to them. Kids will be kids! I even remember one kid jokingly commenting "He squeezed the shit out of him!" I think it was this one boy named Jessie.

You know, I think that's why I feel it is OK to eat meat, because animals do it too, and if it's good enough for them it's good enough for me. That and the fact that I just don't see pigs, cows and chickens as family. Anyway, Leisa and I were not what I considered the "best" of friends, but we did remain friends for the whole year. I actually got more laughs from her other friend, Denise. But Denise was about a year or so younger than me. Leisa and I were about the same age. I think she was slightly older than me though. Leisa also had this boy that she was just crazy about named Ken, and he was a year younger too. I still remember what he looked like. He was short (probably due to his age), had straight, dark hair, and large blue eyes and freckles. He had something of a sense of humor too. What was funny about all this was that Ken actually looked like the Ken dolls, only he was a kid. While Leisa looked somewhat similar to a Barbie doll. The only off thing about Leisa was she had a rather large nose. Not like Barbie's nose at all. Leisa had what can only be described as a classic Roman profile. But everything else about her matched. That is until she cut her hair. She looked different after she cut her hair short, didn't look like herself at all. Took me a while to get used to her looking like that, when I was so much more used to seeing her with long hair and a ponytail.

By the time I got used to Leisa's new look, she was ready to go to another school. I felt terrible when she was getting ready to leave. I didn't think I'd ever see her again. But you know something? I think I was wrong about that! Back in 2001, I took my gang of dogs walking around this lake that was located in this park I used to visit a lot. It was a somewhat overcast day out, but it was rather warm too, which was unusual for that time of the year. Just as I drove up, got my dogs all leashed up, and was about to begin my walk with them, this blond woman, and a dark haired man got out of their car about 100 feet away from me. The woman shouted "You're a sight for sore eyes!" to me. I chuckled a bit and began my walk. I was stopped by this little elderly man whom I think was the woman's father. He fell in love with one of my dogs, a papillon named Lucy. Lucy brought him so much joy, he actually had tears in his eyes. Anyway, I stood there and talked to him for a while, and we were talking about dogs. He told me he used to breed shelties. The whole time I kept thinking about the blond woman and he said that was her daughter. She looked so familiar to me! I didn't say much about that, but the whole time I was talking to her father, I kept thinking about how familiar she looked. Even the young guy she was with looked somewhat familiar to me. Yet I could not quite place them. That is until halfway into the conversation, the father told me that his last name is Belle. THEN I remembered where I'd seen that woman before. When we were little girls. LOL! Then I recognized that classic roman profile of her's! She still had it to this day! That woman had to be Leisa!

Her father was a very nice guy! I liked him. Leisa never did stop to talk to me, so I never mentioned to her, or her father, that she looked familiar to me. I do remember one time when I crossed paths with her and this guy she was with, whom I assumed was Ken, as I was walking around the lake, they both stopped to pet the dogs. But they did not talk to me, though Ken managed a smile at me. I did hear Leisa say to Ken about Lucy, "We've got to see how we can get this dog from her." I just stood silently smiling, thinking "You can offer me $1 million, you still would never get this dog from me!" I didn't say it out loud though. I was waiting for one of them to say something first. I think Leisa did recognize me, but like me just didn't want to say anything. Sometimes I think maybe I should have said something. At least ask if she is the same person. Then at least I would have known for sure. I don't think though that I really needed to ask. My eyes and memory told me she was the same person. She no longer looked like Barbie. She had put on some weight if I remember correctly. But to me, she'll always just be Leisa. Well, that's probably the last time I'll ever see her in my life. But it was kinda cool seeing her just once again. Proves that this world is a small world!

Over The Edge

I never wanted to tell this story, because there are some things that I would rather forget about. But recently in remembering about my former roommate Patti, I remembered someone who literally made me want to reach through the phone and strangle her to death! I am usually not a violent person, and I never lash out at anyone, even if they lash out at me. There are a lot of things I can tolerate, and I have quite a bit of endurance when it comes to that too. I’ve been called every name in the book, and beyond, and still came up smiling and laughing. It’s really hard to make me feel bad by calling me names. Sometimes the person calling me names will make me more cautious. But never do I allow such a childish act to make me feel bad about myself. But to push me over the edge is very difficult. Patti almost achieved that, but almost does not count. And I remember that Patti is an old woman who was having withdrawal symptoms from not being able to guzzle her usual cheap booze, and shoot up her usual street drugs while I was there, for fear perhaps that I would divulge these acts to her workplace and get her fired from her one and only job.


But there was one woman I contacted that actually did push me over the edge, and she didn’t even have to do much to do it. I was a naïve youngster in my mid-20s. The year was 1998, and I wanted to get a playmate for Monkey, my Australian shepherd. I looked at several breeds. Huskies were one of them, and I also thought about a Rottweiler, but my dad frowned on me getting a Rottweiler. I found husky pups, but then I read that huskies are fence-jumpers that like to wander, so the idea of getting one of those is out! In that same paper, in the same classified section, I saw an ad for german shepherd puppies, and it said they would accept terms and even deliver the pup to me. I thought that ad was sent from Heaven. My car was on the fix, and I could not run it. So there was no way I was able to go there myself and pick up that pup. I had called several ads for dogs that day, and I found out in a flash that not many people are really willing to sell to someone who does not have a car! They kept asking me “How will you take the dog to the vet?” After hearing that so many times, it was a total relief that there was one person whose ad stated she is willing to deliver the puppy. So I called the ad.


The woman I spoke to was named Diana, and she told me she has one female left, that has a little hernia on her belly. It didn’t bother me because I had a pup once with that same kind of hernia. So I said I would be interested in the puppy and asked her if she could really deliver it to my residence. I  explained the situation why I could not drive to her place, but I wanted to make sure I was not just seeing things where her ad said she would deliver. I gave her my address and some driving directions, and Diana said “Sure, I can deliver!” I was so grateful. We both made an appointment for the very next day for 11:30 AM and I told her I was looking forward to seeing the baby. So I got myself prepared for the next day.


I got up, all on pins and needles, not being able to contain myself. I simply could not wait to see the pup. I was filled with excitement and anxiety. I went through my morning routine, which consisted of me putting the dishes up, feeding Monkey, fixing breakfast for me and my sis, and then watching our morning programs, like Gimme A Break! By the time Gimme A Break was over, it was 10:30AM, so I had an hour to wait till my puppy arrived. I decided to fill the time by cleaning the house a bit, and my sis helped me. It was around 11AM when I stopped because now the house was looking spotless. In my mind, I was secretly hoping that Diana would show up a bit early, so I could see the puppy that was soon to be mine. But 11AM came and went, and I hadn’t heard or seen anything. Every time a car passed by, my heart would pound faster, and I would look carefully out the window to see if Diana and the puppy had arrived. Then 11:30 AM rolled around, and I said “She’s got to show up now.” But she didn’t. 11:30AM came and went, no sign of Diana.


I didn’t know what to think, I figured maybe she was just caught in traffic. So I waited around. Noon came, and still no sign of Diana. She hasn’t even called at this point, so I decided to try and call her. I called and got a ring tone, but got no answer. I figured she was just on her way over and she would show up in our driveway momentarily. Then 12:30PM came and went and still no sign of Diana, not even a call. I tried calling her again, and still got no answer. I was beginning to believe deep down inside that she is never going to show up. Then 1PM came around, and I still hadn’t heard from Diana. I got a bit tired of waiting, so I got up and caught the local bus to the local pet store. I don’t know why I made that move; I just wanted to see some puppies I guess. The pet store was not far away. I was back home by 2PM, not having seen any pups at the pet store that sparked my interest. When I got home, my sis told me that Diana called shortly after I left. Dammit! That always happens, without fail!! My sis told me that Diana was held up that morning and wanted to reschedule the appointment for the next day, and wanted me to call back.


Now, I’m sure my sis did not expect what happened next to happen at all, otherwise maybe she would have taken some initiative to reschedule the appointment herself while she had Diana on the phone. Even I never expected what happened then to happen at all. I quickly got on the phone and dialed Diana’s number. This time I got no ring tone, just a busy signal. I tried again 5 minutes later, the line was still busy. So, I tried again 5 minutes later and the line was still busy! I figured maybe Diana was on the phone to a friend or something, so I decided to wait about 20 minutes or so to call her back. I waited that 20 minutes, thinking that if she’d been on the phone since she called my sis around 1PM that afternoon, then that’s plenty of time to speak to a friend on the phone! So, I called her number again, and once more, the line was still busy!! I waited another 10 minutes before I dialed her number again, and it was still busy!!


This went on for about 6 hours. It started out, I would dial Diana’s number every 10-20 minutes, then it got to be every 25-30 minutes, and still each time, the line was always busy! I began to wonder if Diana was doing this on purpose. At one point during the day, I even wondered if I had been dialing the right number. I try to give everyone a chance, and I did not want to think the worst, not even at this point. So I kept dialing. Finally at around 7:30PM I got a ring tone on her line. Some teenager picked up the phone and said hello. I said hello to him and “I’d like to speak to Diana please.” And he very rudely stated “Well you’re not going to get her now!” I asked him if he had any idea when Diana would be back, and he answered “Try again around 8:30” I said OK and hung up. I didn’t want to talk to him, I was trying to reach Diana! I was a bit peeved because that teenage boy was so rude when I asked for Diana. But I figured it may be worth it if I can get ahold of Diana and still able to get that german shepherd pup. So I waited out the hour. I didn’t feel much like doing anything. Deep inside my soul, I had the feeling that this deal was going to fall through. But I hoped that it wouldn’t. I still got my hopes up that I could still get this puppy.


When 8:30 PM rolled around, I prepared myself to call Diana once again, this time in hopes that I could actually reach her. But at the same time, I just knew that I would likely get nothing but a busy signal again. I dialed, and to my surprise there was a ring!! I was relieved and Diana answered the phone. I literally took a sigh of relief that I was finally able to reach her once again. I was thinking “Thank GOD!!” I apologized to Diana that this is coming late, and Diana dropped a bomb on me! She said “Yes listen, because you did not call me back earlier, I’ve decided not to let you have this pup. You don’t seem really interested in her.” I told Diana that I was gone when she called that afternoon, and I have been trying to call her since around 2PM, but every time I would dial her number, the line was busy! Diana maintained that just because I didn’t call her back before 2PM, she assumed I am just not interested in the puppy. I tried to convince her that I am very interested in the pup. It wasn’t my fault I could not reach her earlier that day. Then Diana stated “Well, if you can’t come here and pick up this puppy, how will you get her to the vet?” OMG! The old “if you don’t have a car how will you get the puppy to the vet” bit came up now! I reminded Diana that she knew I didn’t have a way to drive there when we made the appointment for this morning. And she was OK with that the night before. I also reminded her that her ad in the newspaper said they would deliver.


Diana kept coming up with excuses and shit. She even said “Well, if you don’t have a car, you can’t take this puppy to a vet. I wouldn’t recommend you get a puppy at all. I might recommend you get a cat instead.” I was insulted!! I had 2 persian cats I was trying to get rid of at that time, and this woman is telling me to go out and buy another cat??? NO WAY!!! If I’d wanted a cat, I would have answered ads for a cat. I didn’t want a cat, I wanted a puppy. But I did not mention that to her. I asked Diana if there was any way I could get her to change her mind and let me have the puppy. She said “Not unless you can drive yourself up here to pick her up.” I asked her if she lives on a busline and she said the nearest bus stop is 3 miles away from her. I asked if we could maybe meet someplace nearby and she answered "I don't have the time to drive someplace and meet you. I have other puppies to tend to." I asked to make sure if that’s how she wanted to end this deal and she said “Yes.” I actually said to Diana “Well thanks a lot for wasting my entire day!” and I banged the phone up in her ear!


I was so mad at this point!! Diana ruined and wasted a whole day out of my life! And she was not even willing to take the blame for busying up her phone line so I couldn’t call back when I was supposed to! She seemed to just not even care. I wanted to strangle her. I wanted to just reach through that phone while we were talking and just strangle Diana to death!!! That’s how mad I was at her. I rarely ever reach that point, but I sure reached it with Diana! No other person in my whole life ever made me get that angry. Diana was lucky she was not standing in the room with me at that point because I would have just killed her if she did that to me. It would have been better if she told me the night before that she didn’t want me to have that puppy, or if her ad didn’t state that she’s willing to deliver. But she didn’t say she didn’t want me to have the pup until after I wasted an entire day trying to get ahold of her to no avail, and her ad did state that she’s willing to deliver. I wanted to beat the shit out of her and pull all her hair out by the roots at that point!


What’s even more bizarre about this scenario is I saw another ad placed by Diana in those same classifieds about 6 months later, and again, she said she’s willing to deliver. I saw that and I said “I hope no one else falls for this ad like I did! They try to ask her to deliver her puppy to them, all they’ll get from her is broken promises and excuses why she didn’t want to deliver!” Now I think I know why that teenager was so hostile! Assuming he was maybe her son or something. He’s probably angry at the world for having a mother like Diana who never keeps her promises, always backpedals everything she says, and just makes excuses why she doesn’t want to do something. I would be hostile too!

A Friendly Problem

Its tough to say no to friends. I always like to help one of my friends as much as I can, but sometimes it's not easy being so nice. When a person asks me for a favor, I like to help if I can. Well, I have one friend on Facebook that I am afraid is taking too much advantage of my kindness. She is a sweet person and I like her a lot, but she keeps on asking me if I would post videos and pictures for her onto her new group. I did it a couple of times when her new page was getting started, and I gave her instructions on how she can do it herself. She still continues to ask me to post pics for her on this new page.

The last time I posted a pic for her, she said it would be the last one she would ask me to post. Then she said if I posted that last pic, she would not ask me to post anymore for her. That she would get someone else to do it instead. So I agreed to post the pic for her on that page. Well, she didn't stop asking me like she promised she would. She kept on and on and on asking me to post videos and pictures for her. I told her I just don't have time to do it. That happens every time I give in to posting a picture for her on her new page. She'll ask me to post one, and she'll say that's it. And I do it. Then next thing I know she will ask me to post 3 more pics, and I do it. Then I get her asking me where those pics are, and I can't answer that. If she doesn't see them, and she doesn't know how to look for them, I can't find them either. So I spend the rest of the evening trying to find that stupid picture, or video.

Then she'll ask me to post 4 more pics or videos, and I just can't do it. Because by this time, my internet slows all the way down, and I neglect my other friends, as well as my partner. I don't have the fast internet I used to have anymore. So I cannot keep posting pics or videos for her. And what have I got out of that evening? Absolutely NOTHING! Because it seems she is just never satisfied. I just cannot keep doing it. But I also am not comfortable saying no either. I told her how to post these pics and videos herself, I don't understand why she just won't try it herself. Lately when she asks me to post more pics or videos, I just don't say anything. She posts these pics and videos beautifully in chat, she should be able to post them on her page by herself. I've taken to just ignoring her when she asks me to post more pics. Because I know what will happen. I'll post that one pic, and then she'll ask me to post 2 more, then 4 more. Next thing I know she'd ask me to post 10 more! I just cannot keep doing it for her, when she can learn to do it herself. Now, she's got 2 pages on Facebook to torment me with. I did not ask her to invent this new page.

I hate Facebook lately, and it has nothing to do with her. Facebook has this thing now that it has to keep refreshing it's self every 5 minutes. And every time it does, it slows down. At least on my end it does. It's worse when I go to share pics and videos. I like posting cute pics of cute puppies on my page, or things that make my friends laugh and feel good. But with the internet provided to me through this park, each time I share a picture on Facebook, my internet slows down. It gets so annoying!! You see why I cannot keep posting pics and videos for this friend? If I do, then I have no time to post pics I want to share on my own wall. Thus I don't have time to spend with my other friends. I have one friend going through a life crisis, and I want to be there for her too. And another friend that is going to have a baby in 8 months, I want to be there for her too. And my partner is coming to this country in September, I'm trying to help him get here with as little trouble as possible. I have other friends to help out, I cannot spend every moment on Facebook posting pics and videos for one person onto a page that has less than 40 viewers. Especially when I know she can post the pics and videos herself.

I don't know. Sometimes I think I give too much! Sometimes it gets to me. But most of my friends don't take too much advantage of my kindness. I promised her that I would never unfriend her, and I won't. I still like her. But if she keeps asking me to post pics and videos for her, and she just won't learn to do it herself, I'm gonna have to block her or something. But for now, when she asks, I just don't say anything. Or if we are in the middle of a chat, just change the subject. I don't know what else to do.

Happy Birthday Lily Hutchence!

Wow! 17 years old today! The daughter of Michael Hutchence, named Lily, is 17 today, and she is still quite gorgeous! Looks like those genes from Michael are taking over again. For a while there I was a bit scared. I guess she was going through that awkward teenage period, but she was beginning to look like Paula there for a while. Glad to see she's come out of it, and is looking again like her gorgeous father!



Lily as a baby, with father Michael in the background. Oh yes, Paula is here too. But she's ugly.



Lily as a grown woman.

I love the pic of Lily holding a puppy, so adorable! I can just imagine what Michael is thinking up there in Heaven. Must be bustling with pride that his daughter is taking after him. GOD I hope she doesn't ever show any of those mediocre Paula genes anymore! Hope she doesn't start doing interviews in her underwear!

A lot of INXS fans still call this young woman "tiger". I would never even call my worst enemy that! Let alone Michael's daughter. It's not feminine enough, though I did read it is a real name. It's listed as a boy's name though, or a surname. Besides, tigers are dumb, ugly animals that are doomed to extinction. I don't want to know of that creature having any connections with Michael's daughter. Bad enough Michael is extinct now. But Lily looks happy. And she has a puppy. Shoot! I would be happy too! Give me a house, a puppy, good walking routes, and an easy chair to relax on and I'd be set for life!

Just so hard to believe it's been 17 years since she was brought into the world. Well, she was born in 1996. To me, it just doesn't seem so long ago. In fact it seems like yesterday. If I thought she was reading this, I would give her a present. Any of my stories on the UMG Productions website, for free. But I highly doubt she is reading this. It's OK though. But besides remembering the stories that I wrote that year, and there were a few, I also remember there being a lot of world-shattering changes that happened to me that year too. For one thing, that was the year my waterbed burst and I never got a new mattress for it, so I had to "re-learn" to sleep on a regular bed. Believe me, it was hard at first! I'd been sleeping on a waterbed for 11 years at that time! I didn't think I'd ever get used to sleeping on a regular bed again! Even now I sometimes find it hard!

Well, that may not seem so "world-shattering" to you readers, but it was to me. That was also the year I had the worst kidney infections I've ever had in my life. I rarely drank water back then. Not like I do now. A couple of times I was laid up in bed for more than a week, with a heat pad attached to my back! It hurt to move. And when I had to take a dump, I had to get creative, and clean myself using the handle of a scrub brush we used to use in the shower. That was pure Hell!!

I also remember a Labor Day party my sis and I put on that year. During that time, we did a performance of our history. It was fun! It was like watching the reenacting scenes on the Golden Girls. Only my sis and I were doing the reenacting. I remembered this book about mammals that I began in 1986, and annulled in 1988 because it had accumulated too many pages, I could never fit them all into a book. There used to be this corner in my bedroom where I would sit, sometimes for hours, in front of a hole-punching machine and punch holes in the pages so I could put that book into a binder. It was then I realized that book was too big! It would never fit in any binder available in any store. So I ceased production of that book.

Well, those were just a few bits and pieces. It just doesn't seem like that long ago, but then the years are also getting shorter as I am getting older. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing! I don't even really feel my age! I tell people I am old, and in terms of years, I do feel old. Especially when I see people that I knew as a baby, all grown up now and having kids of their own. But in terms of attitude, I don't feel old. I dunno. I guess that's what counts in this situation. It won't be very long at all before Lily here gets married and has a baby of her own. Maybe it too will look like Michael. I would hope so! NO child should be tormented with Paula's looks! That would be awful! I wonder though if Lily has even got a steady boyfriend? I'd be shocked if she hasn't cuz she is so cute.

If Patti Had Children

I was actually thinking about this last night. I remember one of the things my former roommate, Patti Killebrew, told me was that she was married but never had kids. Patti was not a bright person, in fact she was downright dumb. And she was abusive. She claimed it was her husband that was abusive. I'm not normally in the habit of saying abuse is the victim's fault, but having lived with Patti for 4 days, I can understand why her ex-husband would beat her up. I'm not a violent person and I can tolerate a lot of hammering and slammering, and there were times while I was living with her that even I wanted to punch her in the face! I think if I had stayed there any longer, and she had continued acting the way she did, eventually I would have done it. Patti never laid a hand on me, which was a good thing for her. But she was abusive emotionally and verbally. I kinda wonder if she was always like that or if she was just senile. Nah, I think I am right. She was feeling the withdrawal effects of not being able to drink a lot of booze, or do her street drugs.

Patti was one of few people that nearly crossed that line with me. Only one person in my whole adult life actually crossed that line where I just get so pissed off I'd rip their hair out by the roots if I could. And it wasn't Patti. That was a breeder of german shepherds that I encountered back in 1998. But I'll get to that story another time. Patti came pretty close to pushing me over the edge, and that's pretty hard to do with me really. But I think a lot of Patti's impatience had to do with her never having children. She said she was married and thank GOD she never got pregnant. Those were her words. I actually thank GOD too, because not having those kids was the nicest thing she could have ever done for them. I was trying to imagine what those poor kids' lives would have been like if Patti had had them, based entirely on how I was treated while I was living with her. I actually made a couple of scenarios, one with a 5 year old named Sarah, and a 3 year old named Ariana. Let's say these were Patti's 2 children with what was now her "abusive" ex-husband.

Imagine it is a Monday night, at around 10:30PM. 5-year old Sarah is tired and heading to bed, Patti walks up behind her to peak as Sarah goes into her bedroom. The bedroom is somewhat messy, with some of Sarah's toys thrown about, the bed is unmade, and crayons pulled out of the box and onto the floor.

Patti says: What is this!? Your room is messy! Clean it up RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
Sarah: Oh mommy, I'm tired.
Patti: I don't care if you're tired! Clean your room NOW!!!!
Sarah walks into her room crying, and eventually just cries herself to sleep.

The next morning, Patti gets up about 5AM, and opens Sarah's door, as she is still sleeping in her bed.

Patti says: You didn't clean up your room! GET UP NOW!
Sarah: Mommy, I'm tired.
Patti: That's too bad! Get up and clean your room! NOW!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah cannot get up because she got a late start in sleeping the night before, and she is still tired. Patti comes back around 8AM and Sarah is getting ready for school and still has not cleaned her room.

Patti: SARAH! YOU DID NOT CLEAN YOUR ROOM!!!!! GET UP!!!!!!!
Sarah: But mommy, I have to go to school.
Patti: No! You're not going to school! You're gonna stay right there in your room until you've cleaned it! DO IT NOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!!

Sarah starts to cry and sits in her room and tries to clean up. Patti comes in 10 minutes after Sarah starts and Sarah is not finished.

Patti: SARAH! YOUR ROOM IS NOT COMPLETELY CLEAN!! GET UP AND CLEAN IT GOOD!
Sarah: But mommy, I'm trying!
Patti: THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH! CLEAN FASTER!!!! MOVE IT!!!

So poor Sarah continues to work, but because her room was really messy it's taking a while. Patti comes in 4 minutes after her last visit...

Patti: SARAH! YOUR ROOM STILL ISN'T CLEAN ENOUGH!
Sarah: I'm doing it mommy.
Patti: THAT'S IT! I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!
Sarah: No mommy please! Don't kick me out of the house!
Patti: I DON'T CARE! I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE NOW!!!! PACK YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT!

Sarah starts to cry and beg...

Sarah: Please mommy, give me another chance?
Patti: NO!!! YOU'RE NOT CLEANING YOUR ROOM! SO GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!

Sarah stands in the middle of her room and cries loudly.

Patti: WOULD YOU JUST HURRY UP AND PACK YOUR SHIT YOU'RE GETTING IN MY FACE ABOUT THIS! I WANT YOU OUT!

Sarah packs what she can into a suitcase and sadly walks out the door and onto the streets. So now, all that is left in Patti's house is 3 year old Ariana.
Patti is up past 9:30PM, guzzling down her cheap booze, and there is a pile of dishes in the kitchen that needs cleaning. Ariana is sleeping in her bed. But Patti is so lazy, she does not want to have to do the dishes herself. So she goes to Ariana's room and slams open the door...

Patti: Ariana! The dishes in the kitchen are dirty. Get up and do them! NOW!!
Ariana: I'm tired mommy.
Patti: That's too bad! Get up and do them anyway!

So, after seeing the way Patti treated Sarah, Ariana tries to do what she can to make Patti happy, so she does the dishes. Even though she should be in bed at this hour. She stands up on a step ladder and fills the sink up with hot water. When the water is only 3 inches high in the sink...

Patti: That's enough water!
Ariana: That's not enough water for all these dishes mommy.
Patti: I don't care, I don't want you wasting electricity by using all the hot water!

So Ariana does the best she can. But seeing has how she's only 3 years old, she can't do them very well. And especially in only 3 inches of water! Patti comes in to watch her progress and inspects the dishes that Ariana cleaned already.

Patti: Ariana! This dish is not cleaned properly! And this dish is not really clean! DAMMIT ARIANA! DO THEM ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!

So, wanting to please her mommy, Ariana does them again, and finishes. She drains out the water that has now turned cold. It is 10PM and she is tired and wants to go to bed. Patti comes in and inspects the dishes Ariana did...

Patti: ARIANA!!! THESE DISHES ARE STILL NOT DONE RIGHT!!! GET BACK IN HERE AND DO THEM AGAIN!!!!!!
Ariana: Mommy, I'm tired. Please don't make me do them again.
Patti: YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BED UNTIL YOU DO THESE DISHES!! DO THEM NOOOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!

So, tired, poor Ariana gets back up on her step ladder, and runs the hot water into the sink again. This time the water was only able to get up to 1 inch in the sink, and there is a lot of dishes Ariana has to clean right away.

Patti: THAT'S ENOUGH WATER!! DON'T WASTE THE HOT WATER IN THIS HOUSE!!!
Ariana: But mommy, this isn't enough water for all these dishes.
Patti: STOP THAT WATER RUNNING!!! NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

So Ariana stops the water, and does the best she can to clean all those dishes in only 1 inch of water. It is 2 hours before she is done, so it is midnight before she gets to bed. Patti went to bed at 11PM. Ariana goes to sleep, believing she did a good enough job on the dishes. The next morning, Patti gets up at about 6AM, and sees the dishes that Ariana washed the night before. She still is not satisfied. So she charges into Ariana's room...

Patti: ARIANA! GET UP AND PACK YOUR STUFF! YOU'RE OUT OF HERE!
Ariana: Why mommy? What did I do?
Patti: YOU DIDN'T CLEAN THE DISHES!
Ariana: I don't want to leave.
Patti: THAT'S TOO BAD! YOU DIDN'T DO THE DISHES! I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!
Ariana: I'll do them better mommy.
Patti: NO! YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THEM RIGHT THE FIRST TIME!!! YOU DIDN'T!!! NOW I WANT YOU OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!!!!! COME ON!! PACK YOUR STUFF I WANT YOU OUT OF HERE IN 10 MINUTES!!!!!

Ariana starts to cry and packs what she can into a plastic bag. Patti is standing by.

Patti: OH SHUT UP YOU LITTLE CRY-BABY! GET YOUR SHIT PACKED AND GET OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!

Ariana finishes and opens the door to leave. Patti doesn't even give her a good bye nor wish her well. She just coldly looks the other way as Ariana walks out the door with all the belongings she could put in a little plastic shopping bag. Ariana goes off to search for Sarah, but never finds her, because Sarah was kidnapped, raped and murdered the night before.

And yes, to those atheists I encountered last night, I say even that happened for a good reason. Because the last thing this world needs is another Patti.

Everything Happens For A Reason--Yes!

I was watching a video by MrRepzion on YouTube, and he said he gets annoyed when someone tells him this every time something bad happens to him. He says religious people "use this phrase to give themselves comfort". He even went so far as to tell his fans to challenge someone who says this, so his fans did. Ya know, I like MrRepzion, he's pretty cool. He really cannot help what his fans do. But religious or not, I always believed everything happens for a reason. To challenge a person who say that everything happens for a reason, is the same thing as challenging a vegan about why we should eat meat. And yes, MrRepzion is a meat-eater! LOL! No, I'm not making fun, but it's the same damn thing. People want clear-cut explanations for everything, and like I've said before, not everything has a clear-cut answer. I am religious. I am not a part of any organized religion, but I am religious. I've tried like 4 different religions in my life, and the problem I have with them is that I don't agree 100% with all of what they believe. But religious or not, I still believe everything happens for a reason.

The reason I believe this is because I've seen it work before. MrRepzion believes that because his great aunt, who was deaf and could not communicate in the 60s, was gang raped while on a date. He said she learned nothing from that experience except how to hate men. He doesn't believe any good came out of that experience. I agree it must have been horrible for his great aunt. I can imagine. But there is still a good reason that happened. Maybe that incident, or a similar incident that maybe those same men were responsible for, led to stronger laws against rape that we have today. One never knows. But if you sit around and tell people to go challenge someone who says "It all happened for a reason", I think that's more of a regressive attitude.

MrRepzion and other atheists for that matter, use all the bad things in the world to give them an excuse to not believe in GOD. While I don't want to force anyone to believe in GOD, that's not my business after all, I think it's just as annoying when people use bad things that happen to say "there is no GOD". I've been through a lot in my life. I've been through some of the worst bullies in my time that I think I've ever known. When I was in 4th grade, there was this girl who kept beating me up every day. But she wasn't even half as bad as the bullies I encountered in Jr. high school. These boys used to literally gang up on me to harass me to the point where I almost became suicidal. I was scared to go to school because of them. My ma and pa were not quite as supportive as they could have been. They kept telling me I'll get through it. My ma did go and talk to the teachers in the class I had with those boys, and it only made everything between me and those boys get much worse. Then they started teasing me because I told my ma I was being harassed. You know how older kids are about that. And in Jr. High, it wasn't just the kids I had bullying problems with, some of the teachers in that school were bullies too. Like Mr. Purvis and his cohorts. And with them the bullying was worse because I could not tell anyone about it. The adults in that school would just side with the teachers.

Well, now, there are stricter laws against bullying. While I admit it did not help me when I was in school, I like to think my experiences had something to do with getting laws like this passed. Now, schools have become more aware of what happens to kids that have been bullied and are doing things now to nip them in the butt before they get worse. I like the idea of that. It comforts me to know that perhaps in the forseeable future, no other kid will have to go through what I went through.

Unfortunately people who rebut the idea of "everything happens for a reason" will not see it that way. Because they live only in the "here and now". Because the reason isn't presented to them RIGHT NOW, then there must not be any good reason it happened. But I've lived long enough to know something will come of everything. So that is how I live my life. It really has NOTHING at all to do with my belief in GOD. I believe that this is just how the world works. We all suffer damages, we all have bad things happen in our lives. But it might be because of those bad things happening that a greater good comes out of it.

Ya know, this is what I hate about fanatical atheists! And fanatical vegans, and even fanatical Christians! They all say the same dumb shit every time. I like to let people have their beliefs, because we are all human and we have a right to believe what we want. But fanatics always try to push their beliefs on others. I like MrRepzion, but in this video, he started to sound like a fanatical atheist, and it was kindof annoying. Fanatical atheists will always say "because something bad happened to so-n-so, something good will come of it?!" It's like the vegans saying "How can you love some animals and eat others?" Or even Christians saying "This happened to you because you didn't go to church" or whatever!! Fanatics are annoying on every level!!