Things I Will Never Understand

There are so many things about people I will just never understand. I thought I would take this time to post what exactly and why in this post. Why not? Kill some time here.

1. Why do people always pick the quietest and the shyest people to bully on?
Why is that? What is a shy, quiet person going to do to hurt anyone? My guess is perhaps they think it makes them look tougher or makes them feel better. What would make someone look tougher is to bully those kids who are loud and obnoxious and annoying!

2. Why do banks charge overdraft fees when they know there's no money in the account?
I've had that happen before. What I think is dumb is when they charge the largest amount over your available balance first, then add the fee on to that, and then they process a bunch of smaller amounts, which all could have easily been covered by the remainder in your account, and then tack on extra overdraft fees for each of those charges. If you know what I mean!!

3. Why will a person forgive their favorite celebrity when they do something horrible, and not a friend who is just an average person?
Case in point, Michael Jackson. We all know he was a child molester. 3 different kids who never met cannot be wrong. One person I knew was a big fan of his too. This person also was once a friend of mine. Until I gave an opinion honestly, which I guess to this former "friend", is a far worse crime than child molestation.

4. Why do men think it's OK if they put on weight, but when they see a fat woman, they think it's disgusting?
Honestly, fat men are no less disgusting than fat women. Fat is fat is fat! I'm fat myself. I'm working on it, but I am fat! I have more respect for a person who says they hate fat people than for someone who just says "I hate fat women!" And I have seen it before. Sounds very misogynistic. Which brings me to my next point...

5. Why do some fat people make fun of others?
Do those people not know they too are fat and making fun of other fat people? Do they do it because they think it makes them look "cool"? Do they do it because it makes them feel better? Do they think they are, in some way, "helping" the other person? Do they themselves think they are exempt from name-calling? Which again brings me to my next point...

6. Why are bullies surprised when their targets fight back?
I have actually encountered this before too. One boy when I was in high school, not only harassed me, but also one of my friends. Not only this friend, but also her sister too! Every day, for 2 to 3 hours a day. He was a real bully! One day my friend and I got sick of him and decided to get even with him, so we spent 2 hours verbally bullying him. He didn't like it either! Funny thing was, this boy was fatter than I was. LOL! So, why was he surprised my friend and I were finally fighting back?

7. Why do people say they hate liars and hypocrites?
Lying and hypocrisy is actually a part of human nature, because people are not perfect. I am totally honest with people, as honest as I can be! I'm not saying everything that comes out of my mouth is 100% the truth, but I am as honest as I can be with people. I do speculate sometimes. But I have lost friends because I am honest too. Sometimes people may forget that others lie to spare that person's feelings, which I think is a big mistake, but others do it. Instead of saying to people "I hate liars and hypocrites", maybe people should rephrase that into "I hate people", or "I hate liars and hypocrites when what they say does not pat me on the back!"

Well, those are a few things about people I will just never understand.

Update To FAQs

I added an update to my FAQs section. Since radical people are dumb and I will probably forever have to keep explaining what constitutes a "radical" to me, I decided I had better put up what the difference between a radical and a fan is in my FAQs section. So, it is now there permanently for all to see. I still hate radicals!! I can sound passionate about radicals. Yes it's true. But I've always had nothing but bad experiences with radicals in the past. I love INXS, but I don't consider myself a radical INXS fan. I don't care if there are people out there that agree with me whether or not INXS is the best band in the world. Because to me, they always will be. That's all that counts in my book. That's the end of the relationship I have with INXS. I love the guys, I love the music. That is IT. I don't feel it is my personal responsibility to convert non-fans into fans. If I share my love of this band, and it does happen to convert a non-fan into a fan (it has happened before with me), then that is great!! But one thing I will never do is cuss and cry because someone says to me "INXS sucks dick" or something like that. That is what a radical does.

Sometimes, I might question someone who says that. I might ask them "What makes you say that?" but that's it. Their opinion is just that: THEIR opinion. We all have a right to it. A lot of people may think I am a bitch now, but that's just their opinion. LOL! Let's face it. People are the biggest wussies on the planet! I mean that! To them, if you don't agree with them, you're a horrible person. If you are honest with them, you are a horrible person, or you are crazy. Of course I love it when people say I am crazy. LOL! Because I AM. I don't deny that at all! Recently I posted something on Facebook that said something to the effect of "The only people that get mad at you for telling the truth are the people who have been lied to all their lives". Unfortunately a lot of people fall under that category. My parents did not lie to me. But society has. My parents taught me to treat people the way I'd want to be treated, and I do. There is no greater way of showing someone you care than to be honest with that person. They may not see it that way, but that is what I feel. Much as I hate people, I always treat people the exact same way I would want them to treat me. If I go offtrack, then I expect to get the same from others. It's a two-way road. I hate radicals, more than any other kind of people. Well, irresponsible people too, but they kindof fall under the category of radicals. But I'd expect them to hate me back, which is fine by me.

I am also not politically correct. That's something the radicals invented. I call a spade a spade. I don't call it an "upside down heart". I don't sugarcoat anything. All my friends know that. There are some exceptions. For example, I am 1/4 Cherokee, I do not call the native Americans "Indians". That's kindof confusing. I call the people from India "indians". As I understand it, it was Christopher Columbus that began calling native Americans "indians", because he thought he was in India when he landed in America and saw the people. So, that is where I try to be politically correct, but it's still for my own personal reasons. To be less confusing. Yes there are native Americans who call themselves "indians", but I just don't believe that is correct terminology. I also never call black people "niggers" because that is just an ugly word!! Though I know there are black people who call themselves that. I leave that to them on purpose, because even though I am not a white person, they would still look at me and take it the wrong way. I do usually call them "African Americans" though. But not all of them have roots from Africa. My best childhood friend didn't, and she was dark-skinned.

Well, I do try never to become a radical myself. Even with things I love like INXS and animals. That would actually be kindof hypocritical of me! LOL! The only people I exempt from labeling them as "radicals" are very close family and personal friends of the band. Sometimes I even have a hard time believing friends unless I know them and trust them myself. Like I know Michael has family on Facebook. If someone shit-talks Michael in front of them, I would expect them to stand up for him, simply because family should ALWAYS stand behind family! I'd do it for my family. I also know some of the people I know on Facebook are close friends of Michael's too, and I'd expect them to stand up for him. Though I think most of them choose not to. That's their choice though. As long as the opposer is not saying things like "Michael gave Paula an STD, forcing her to be hospitalized" with no proof, I probably wouldn't say anything either. Now, when I say friends, I mean actual friends of Michael's. Not friends of friends, I don't care what they say or think. That is to say people like Jannah, who is only a mere friend of a friend of Paula's, and probably not even really that outside of Facebook. She only knows what this (highly biased) friend says to her. She wouldn't know the whole truth. Which is why I do not listen to friends of friends. I believe Michael's sister FAR more than I believe Jannah. His sister was there. Jannah is just a radical fag that believes whatever Paula's friend told her.

I have a father who is a retired police officer, and a cousin who is still a police officer, and another cousin who is a lawyer, I have law instilled in my brain. LOL! I always say if it isn't admissible in a court of law then I cannot go along with it. And hearsay is not admissible. So, I tend not to listen to friends of friends, because then it turns all into "Well she said this" and "She told me this is what happened", and blah-blah-blah. I am very jaded, I have limits to what I will believe, and I do know someone who met Paula Yates and described what her encounter with her was like firsthand. So, I tend to believe that. All I can believe is what someone sees with their own eyes. Not what someone was told what happened.

Well, I admit I am passionate about radicals. They ruin everything for everyone and that does tend to make me angry, which is why I look at radicals with such passionate hatred. Hey! They do the same to me I am sure. But I thought I should post that I've put on my FAQs what to me makes a radical a radical, and why I feel that way. Not that I truly believe all viewers are going to view the FAQs, but they are there in the top bar.

What School Didn't Teach Me

You may not believe this, but I learned a lot more watching television than I ever learned in school. I was watching a video once by a guy on YouTube who calls himself Red Pill Philosophy. The guy is a dickhead, but I kinda like him! He makes some good strong points in his videos. I know better than anyone people who are honest and speak their minds are often seen as assholes. LOL! Anyways, in one of his videos he talked about how schools don't teach kids anything. About the only thing I really learned in school was how to HATE people. I'd see the kind of people my age in schools and even walking home from school, and then I compare them to animals. I'll tell you all, a dog barking at me scared me a LOT less than seeing a 7 year old riding his bike next to me. At least the dog had it's reasons for barking at me, and I knew that. But people shouting obscenities at me for no reason at all, I couldn't see the point in that except maybe a desperate attempt to get my attention and get an angry response from me. But I don't even understand that.

On Judge Judy today, there was this 21 year old boy who did not even know the difference between "maternal" and "paternal" grandparents. LOL! To which, Judge Judy answers "Stay in school!" Of course a 21 year old can go to college and learn more than he could in high school, but I can tell you, I never learned the difference between those two words in school. Ever! It was never discussed in school. I actually first heard the terms "maternal" and "paternal" from nature shows.  Then it was a case of process of elimination. Like for example in a group of gorillas. The male was often referred to as the "patriarch", and the dominant females were referred to as "matriarchs". So naturally I assumed that in that sense, "matriarch" was referring to anything to do with the dominant females, aka, the mother, while "patriarch" referred to the father. That wasn't something that school taught me. That was something I learned growing up watching nature shows all the time. While other kids my age were watching Sesame Street and Romper Room, I was watching the Wild, Wild World of Animals, World of Survival, and New Wilderness. Those were my shows.

Now, I would occasionally watch Sesame Street, I still have collections of classic skits from the earlier days of the show. But I did not watch it all the time. If I found a nature show that looked even more interesting, I'd tune in to that instead. And even within Sesame Street episodes, I would see little movies about animals with music introducing them, and that made it fun.

I learned to love animals when I was a young kid. I can remember when I was 3 years old, in preschool, I think this was the first pleasant encounter with an animal that I can remember. One of the teachers brought in a tiny little toy poodle dog. It was so little and so cute! It looked at me and seemed to smile. That made me feel happy. I begged my parents to get me one like it, but they never would. At that time, I remember we had a big, clunky english setter dog. I hated that thing. It kept jumping me every time I went into the back yard. The little poodle was not like that! So, I learned to love smaller dogs. At that time, we also had an old stray cat that would come to our door and beg to be let in. I really liked cats when I was a kid. Of course I grew out of it. Well, that was one time school did come in handy. But that was preschool. That wasn't like high school or middle school or anything like that.

Half of the things I learned in my later school years, I don't even need right now! For example, I never understood the reason why history is mandatory to graduate! What the hell was I supposed to learn from taking history?? So I know the date of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, big deal!? So far that is not knowledge I've had to use in the adult world. And how could I forget the day when we celebrate it every year on July 4th?! And what about the Civil War? What the hell was I supposed to learn from that that I need in my adult life today? Nothing so far! Or World War 2? What am I supposed to take from that experience? Nothing! Except that people are assholes! But I did not have to take history to find out people are assholes. All I had to do was just look around and see how people were acting.

Now, school would have been much more useful had it taught me things that I did need to know, like how to understand why people do what they do. I know why I do what I do, I was brought up this way. I was taught to treat people the way I'd want to be treated. But I cannot believe for one second that other people were brought up to be assholes and pricks! One guy who used to bully me in middle school, his father was a strict disciplinarian, all the teachers knew it. But he was one of those kids who would bully me all the time, and as far as I knew, I never did anything to warrant his attacks on me. I'd never said 2 words to him or about him in fact. Not to his face nor behind his back. Until he started bullying me, he was one of those kids I never even gave a second thought about. I told one of the teachers about this kid's actions against me, and the teacher knew that boy's father would not like to hear about him horsing around in school like that. So, I couldn't understand why this boy kept harassing me like he did in school. Except that maybe I was easy prey because I was this shy, quiet kid who kept mostly to herself.

Well again, go try to figure out people!! I surely never will. LOL! It's bad enough I am stuck in this body. I think GOD intended at first to make me an animal. A monkey I think. LOL! But at the last minute, for reasons known only to HIM, HE made me a human. UGH!!

Loyal To Michael

When I first saw Never Tear Us Apart the movie back in 2014, it had a huge impact on me. Before then, I considered myself nothing more than a casual fan of Michael. That is, I loved INXS, and I liked Michael's singing. But his sexual appeal did almost nothing for me back then, because I only had eyes for Timmy. That was IT. Back in 2005, when Rockstar: INXS was going on, I forced myself to forget about Michael. Timmy took up most of my attention by that year. I mean let's face it, Michael was gone, Timmy is still here. I could enjoy Timmy far more than I could enjoy Michael now. Meaning absolutely no disrespect to Michael, or to his method of performance. Its just, well, he was gone, and I felt I had come to terms with that finally this year. Before then, the mere thought of Michael was enough to make me burst into tears, and I cried at least once a day for him since hearing of his death. I did not cry for Lily, or the band members, or anything else. I cried for Michael. I cried because his death was so senseless. It never would have happened had he not gotten in with Paula Yates!! It was a total waste!! I was left with this overwhelming, sorrowful feeling that I should have grabbed Michael when I had the opportunity! I never would have even let him mention Paula's name in my house! It would have been forbidden! And I would have tore Paula Yates apart like a weed whacker to an old rag had she tried to lay her hands on my guy! Hindsight is 20/20!

Well, I can basically do anything I put my mind to. In fact, I was so good at making myself forget about Michael, in 2010, there was even a time that I would tell you I did not like Michael at all. There is even a pic I have that was part of a tour guide, where I found scratch marks all over Michael's face. Looking at that after seeing that movie, I was like "Wow! Did I do that??!!" But it could only have been me. :( And knowing there was a time in years past that I didn't like Michael anymore. Part of it was because of the fans (or rather, fags) I had met. Like this one who called herself Bittertears. Well, in all fairness, I did try to be friends with her. But there was just something about her that I did not like. I could not put my finger on it. Not for months anyways. Then when I wanted to create a forum for people to come in and lust over the guys, I invited Bittertears to join me. I did so partly because I thought she would enjoy it there, and also partly because I wanted to get to know her better. She never joined though, which is really fine by me. But then she accused me of "spamming" her inbox with invites. Well, as far as I knew, I only sent her one invite, maybe two. It was an RSVP, if she didn't want to join, I wanted her to tell me, but she never said "Dee, I don't want to join your forum." I would have been understanding and just backed off then. But it wasn't until she accused me of spamming that she finally said anything, and her delivery was not called for. She was a Hutch fan and I was a Timmy fan. She had scolded me some months before because I said I was more of a Timmy fan than a Michael fan. In fact, I still am. But I do love Michael now too.

Well, I haven't seen Bittertears in years. Not that I miss her at all. In fact, not having seen her in years is part of what has made me revert back to loving Michael again. As far as I know, she doesn't like social media, so I don't think she'd be on Facebook. Even if she was, I'm only on a couple of groups now, one is a secret group, the other is my own group. So, it's not likely we will meet again either. Besides that, I am not taking in anymore friends. Not for a really long while. I have one person, who is a temporary friend. But that's it. She's going to be the last for a long while. After my business with her is over, I'm going back down to under 300 friends. I mean, she's a nice enough person, but I want to limit myself to only a few really good friends. And them being mostly people I know, or are acquainted with, pretty well. Or I like them and I want to get to know them pretty well. Now that all the radicals are gone, it'll be so much easier. To the person who crossposted my blog post to the MH and his Life fan page, Thank you!! You made my job so much easier! :) Everything truly does happen for a reason.

Of course those were people, many of them I asked to become my facebook friends. But who'd have known they were radicals? LOL! Like I said, go try to figure out people. Well, I haven't asked anyone to become my facebook friend since I was let go from there. Most of the people who became friends with me after that were people who sent me requests. But I still hate radicals and I still hate Paula Yates!! I call her "the beast" now.

Anyways, I continue to carry on the legacy of Michael. I still love Timmy, and I'm back to doing my Timmy-squeals. One of my friends told me it makes her laugh every time, so I continue to do it for her. LOL! I enjoy doing it anyways. It's a great stress-reliever. Plus it kindof strengthens my love for Timmy. I do that, and I kindof picture Timmy standing there looking at me like he did when I met him in Seattle back in 2006. The look he gave me was enough to make my heart drop! Nice, big smile. I mean, the kind of smile that made his face wrinkle up and his eyes squint. I loved it!!! It looked sexy!!!!! If I were a dog at that time, my tail would have been going crazy, and I'd have been twirling around in endless circles.

Well, I just want to assure everyone reading that any mixed feelings about Michael will NEVER happen again!! Ever! No number of radicals will ever again change my mind about how I feel about my Michael. I should not have let it happen the first time. Oh well, my interest in Michael was already on it's last leg anyways. But I can assure you all that will never happen again!! It happened once, and I know what it feels like. It's never going to happen again! I'm going to continue loving Michael forever and ever and NOTHING is going to stop that! Neither is anything going to stop me from going to Australia. I always wanted to visit, and if nothing else works, I'm going to see wild kangaroos hopping around in the outback before I leave this world. I want to see a numbat, if I can! I think they're adorable!!! It'd be cool to see a bilby too! Or a quoll. Or hear kookaburras calling. Or see all the birds I've only ever seen in pet stores for thousands of dollars flying in vast numbers in the wild. Or see a platypus swimming in the river. Or see a colony of flying foxes in a tree. So many things I want to see while I am there!! On top of doing my movie. The movie is my crowning feat to Michael. This movie is going to be how he is going to be memorialized in my soul. Nothing on earth is going to stop me from doing this. I stood up to the delusional mods. I can stand up to adversaries to this.

A New Idea

I just got a new idea for my movie that I want to make in Oz. I want it to be focusing on Michael Hutchence. I know I said I want it to be mostly me sitting in front of a camera and read my story from beginning to end. But I want to can that idea for the most part. I'm going to title this movie "One Day In November... The Movie", and I will still read the story, but there's going to be more movie in between. I got some cute ideas I don't want to post on here, due to nosybodies possibly reading! LOL! But the ideas I have, if I can make them come to fruition, will make this movie spectacular!!! I can hardly wait myself. I get goosebumps right now just thinking about it. I even have some comedic ideas to put in there, like me trying vegemite for the first time. LOL! Well, I did the cinnamon challenge once. I failed, but I did it! hehehe! I figure if I can do that, then me trying vegemite for the first time might make for a funny scene. If I like it, great! I'll say so. If I don't like it, then it'll just be funny to get my reaction on camera. But if I like it, Americans can be assured it's delicious. I'm as picky an eater as they come!!

The beginning of the movie will be me sitting in front of a camera reading the story, or beginning to, then it switches to the actual movie. It's going to be a reality-type movie, which is what everyone these days mostly loves. Kindof like the Blair Witch Project, or Jackass, the Movie. No outrageous stunts though. This is going to be all about Michael. Nothing else. Not really about me, not just about my trip to Australia, but mostly about Michael. I'm going to offer this movie on the UMG Productions site for rent. I'll give my most trusted friends a freebie. But no one else. I'm going to put it up on YouTube, but only on private setting, that way only people I choose will be able to see it. I don't want radicals to view this movie. If they want to see it, they can rent it. First things first, I'm working on making myself look good for this movie. Been doing my treadmill workout every day, twice a day now. Already I've noticed my belly has gotten a bit flatter. Not much, but I am noticing it getting flatter. The more I do this workout thing, the better it'll get! I don't intend on looking like a landwhale in this movie!! Much as I love whales, they're on their own! LOL!

Someone even suggested I go to that little Indian restaurant that Michael went to his last night with his pa. I might try that, but frankly, I don't like Indian food!! It's too hot and spicy for me. I'm 1/3 Mexican and I don't even like hot and spicy Mexican food!! I always get the mild. But mild Mexican ain't got nothing on what the Indians call "mild". I went to an Indian restaurant in LA, and I asked the waiter what the mildest item is on their menu. They told me they had mild chicken curry. So I tried it. But I didn't like it. Even their mild was too hot! I'm not an ethnic foods kind of person. I might go just to check out the waiters though. Indian men are some of the most handsome in the world, IMO!

Whew!! I Think I Am Done

I just finished a massive cull on Facebook. Believe me when I say it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do on Facebook! I haven't felt this bad in a LONG time!! Some people I may even have culled out by accident. Such was the case with one person! LOL! But I got that one person back. hehehe! She was a good sport about it too. This was not easy!! It was tough trying to figure out who should stay and who should go. Because of the couple of people who unfriended me that I thought were loyal friends, I could not let recent communication be a deciding factor. Even if that recent communication was seemingly "friendly". Most of the people I have left are people that I really, really, REALLY love and trust, or people I want to get to know a lot better. If the ones I want to get to know better decide it's not going to work out, or if I decide, they'll leave I'm sure. Anyways I am glad that's over! Now is the point where I start all over.

I like to think of myself as being a very loyal person. Very trustworthy. Very forgiving. I tend to ignore the drama going on with anyone I consider a friend, as long as that person has always been good to me, there's no reason for me to get involved in the dramas that go on. The sad thing is that if you are that way with the wrong kind of people, they will take full advantage of it. It's tough though to find the right kind of people, because someone who can seem nice and friendly could possibly just be putting up a front. To your face, they could be saying "Oh Dee you are so funny and cute!" But behind the scenes, they're probably thinking "Dee is a stupid bitch, I hate her so much! And her Timmy squeal gets on my nerves!" That's why if I have a problem with someone, I'm going to tell them. And I have MUCH more respect for people who are not afraid to tell me how they feel about me. Kinda like on YouTube, when I get commenters saying "I hate fat people because they are disgusting!" I have actually a lot more respect for that person than I have for the person who says "I hate fat people because they cause my insurance rates to go up!" I have zero respect for someone who says that because I don't buy for one second that they are grouping all fat people into one category and calling us names because they are concerned about the cost of health care. Otherwise teenagers wouldn't do it. Really, anyone who knows anything about obesity wouldn't do it. But that's another story.

I dunno, sometimes I think I need to stop being so loyal and trustworthy. A lot of people don't deserve it. But I can't stop. This is who I am. I love the idea that I can help some person in need feel like I'll always be their friend no matter what. I like the feeling I get when I hear a person say "I have had a hard day, and Dee, you made me feel so much better!" I like to think I can be the one who understands how they feel when they're going through a rough time in their lives. I've had many of them myself. I like to think that when I do my Timmy thing, I've made someone smile, even if just for a moment. I like to laugh with my friends, even cry with them. I like to offer prayers and well-wishes to those who need them. I love to post pics of the guys that make my friends happy. I just can't change!

Well, it has literally been years since I did a cull. I normally hate deleting anyone. There have only been a few times in my life I've ever done it. This really is the best thing I've ever done! I'm now hearing from people I thought were long gone! I am grateful to GOD for the people who have deleted themselves. They saved me the trouble of trying to figure out who the radicals are! Good riddance! Don't ever think of coming back either! I don't want radicals among my friends. And if they're thinking "She's a crazy bitch!" I'll just say "Thank you!" I'm an artist and a writer, I'm supposed to be crazy. In fact, you'd be hard pressed to find a good artist of any kind that isn't crazy. I'm more offended if someone says I'm not crazy than if they say I am. LOL! If I ain't crazy then I ain't a worthy artist or writer! Simple as that. I remember one of the guys who deleted himself from my friends said he was a writer, but at the same time, implied he was a normal person. Well, if that was really the case, then I don't want to read his stories! I've read stories from so-called "normal people", and believe me, they are BORING! Well, his thing was zombies and I am not into that myself anyways. My best stories were all written whenever I just turn my mind loose and let it run wild. But then I've become quite famous for my slapstick humor.

However, maybe some people are just not really aware how crazy they are. Maybe they only see it in others because they haven't come to terms with their own craziness. I came to terms with mine back when I did the UMG style Batman stories. Up until then, I thought I was "normal" too. But I found my stories were a lot better when I let my crazy side take over. That was when I always wrote the best stories. Some of them became masterpieces. I was never more crazy than I was after Michael died. That was when I wrote my best story of all. One that took me years to complete, literally! The idea was there, but I did not really complete the story until 2012. The only kind of stories I could see a normal person successfully write would be an autobiography. Surely NOT a fictional story! You need to be crazy to write good fiction. It's almost an unwritten requirement.

As for art, my thing is mostly cartoon caricaturist. Mostly animals. Like I said, I connect better with animals. Actually, I can do most anything I put my mind to. I've even done painting. I don't do it very well, but I figure I could with some practice. My paintings are not too bad really. They do need work, but all-in-all not a bad  beginning. But you can compare my temperament to Van Gogh. Or Picasso. LOL!! Yup, there I go again comparing myself to Van Gogh and Picasso! Well, I don't paint like they did, but I do have the artistic temperament. LOL! What I wish I could learn to draw very well is men!! I can draw women with no problems. But I can never draw men! The only reason I do women so well is because I was my own model for a long time when I was younger and thinner. When I do try to draw men, I tend to make them look too feminine! Even the guys of INXS. Or somehow I just don't make them look right. I need to work on that.

Special Video Blog

A special message to everyone.

Special gift to my friends. I've always loved doing video blogs. This is one I've put together for this site. I'll have a shorter version up on YouTube, but this one was made specifically for this blog. This one is different because I added a song to it, Don't Cry For Me Argentina by Madonna. I'm not a fan of Madonna, but this is a good song, especially the snippet I included in the video. I don't want my friends to worry about me. Just understand me. That's where I am coming from. This isn't designed for the radicals, this is for my friends who have stuck by me to this day. I'm still working on a massive cull-out. Nothing personal against the people I cull out. I just need to lower my numbers to those most trusted friends. I'm trying to get down to under 300, I think that's a nice manageable number of friends for someone like me. Again, it's the wild animal effect. Usually when a wild animal is brought into captivity, it attaches it's self to only a few people. I need to find those few people. And I'll never find them if I have 400 fair-weather friends. So, I am grateful for the ones who culled themselves out.

I'm a loyal person. Always have been. I don't get involved in bullshit stirred up by other people. I stand by people I like no matter what drama goes on or what they've done. I'm just not like that. I always hope that others would be the same way about me. But let's face it, I'm too complex for most people. Too spontaneous and too unpredictable. Well, those who have stayed by me will be rewarded. I will see to that, in a great way! I have still yet one good pic of Michael that I've never shared online. It's never been online. It's been in my safe, tucked away. Maybe I will share that pic with those people. And ONLY those people. :)

INXS Fans Unite!! (I Hope)

OK! THIS SHIT NEEDS TO STOP!! I AM GETTING ANGRY!!! NO WAIT, I HAVE BEEN ANGRY SINCE THE FIRST TIME I FOUND OUT THIS IS HAPPENING! THIS IS WAY MORE THAN A LITTLE OUT OF LINE! THIS IS DOWNRIGHT INSANE!!!!! AND IT MAKES ME MADDDD!!!!!!  I AM SURPRISED MICHAEL'S OWN FAMILY HAS NOT SAID ANYTHING AGAINST THIS. I MEAN REALLY! I BELIEVE IN FREEDOM OF SPEECH, BUT THIS IS REALLY SUCKY!!! KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT???? I AM TALKING ABOUT THIS:

THIS WAS SENT TO ME BY ANOTHER FAN TODAY, AND I SAW IT AND IT MADE ME ANGRY!!!! I LOVE MY MICHAEL, I CARE ABOUT HIM VERY DEEPLY!!! TO MAKE A MOCKERY OF HIM LIKE THIS SHOW HAS MAKES MY HAIR STAND ON-END!!!! SUICIDE IS NOT FUNNY!!!!! IT SHOULD NOT BE MADE A MOCKERY OF!!

OK, I admit after the post I made a couple days ago I'm not the best candidate to speak of this. But I was not trying to make a mockery of that person. Whether you believe it or not, I cannot make light of mental illness and depression because I have been down that road myself. That is why this pisses me off. Besides the fact that I care deeply for Michael. I loved that man! I always did! The fan who sent me this told me that this was aired on TBS. I want to write a letter of complaint to the company that puts shit like this out! This has to stop! I don't have any idea how long ago this was made, I don't watch Family Guy at all. But this isn't the first time I've heard of people mocking my Michael! Someone once mentioned somewhere there was an episode where this kid took a leather belt and tied it around his neck. The father remarked about Michael in that episode too.

Well, since I now have everyone's attention on this blog, I just thought I would announce this. And you should know how I speak my mind by now. You know damn well I'm going to say something!

This Is Not Easy!!

I did a massive cull last night. Still working on it today. I cut out nearly 100 people from my friends. LOL! I'm trying to figure out who to keep and who to let go. I don't want to say delete, as I am not doing this out of malice. This isn't easy, I'm telling you!! I have to go back and look at who has communicated well with me. Though that is not necessarily the finalizer. Some people I thought were trustworthy packed up and left themselves. One person was even friends with my sis as well. Funny that. She didn't even have anything in common with my sis. I honestly don't know why she asked her to become her friend. My sis is not an INXS fan, just so you all know. LOL! Oh well. But the point is, this is not easy! I also left most of the larger groups. Just for now. I really want to keep my own friend count down to a bare minimum. I think that is what is best for me. It's either that or give up Facebook altogether. I can't really do that. My family and closest childhood friends are there. Took me forever to get back in touch with my childhood friend, I don't want to lose her again!!

I just don't think I am ready for a lot of human contact. I may never be ready. I just don't understand people. I probably never will. Animals at least are much easier to understand. And really, I don't like people! I don't even like myself half the time. LOL! That's a joke, BTW. But I am unpredictable, and it is because of that that I think it's best I stay in my own little circles. I am still in some groups, but they are small and intimate groups. I'm still in my own group. I have to be there! That's where I go to post my favorite pics of INXS, and share them with other fans. This is actually the best thing I've ever done. Believe it or not! Now, I am seeing posts from friends I haven't seen in quite a long time! I couldn't see them because they were taken up by a bunch of useless posts from other people who have contributed nothing (or not much) to my Facebook page. Well, I always say everything happens for a reason. Good or bad, and this proves it. Maybe I will get closer to those I still have. Maybe I will learn to trust people again. But don't count on it. Like I said before, I will just never understand people. It's hard to trust something you don't understand. But the people I will keep around are people that I have some amount of respect for.

Another thing that is hard for me to let go of is dog-lovers! One person told me I can delete her and I said it's hard for me to delete dog-lovers! Seriously. Dog-lovers is such a rare thing these days among INXS fans. Cat-lovers are a dime a dozen. Now, I am not saying I don't appreciate my friends who do like cats. But dog-lovers are very rare and a treasure usually when I can find them. But if this person wants to delete herself, she can. It's OK. All I ask is that she kiss her baby for me one last time. I miss my own dogs!

I wanted a puppy. I had begun saving for a puppy! But I did a chat with my sis last night, and I need to finish taking care of the dogs I have with her. Vegas needs his teeth cleaned. So, I must take care of that. I promised to pay half if she takes care of the other half. Well, this is what being a mommy is all about, even a doggie mommy. We make sacrifices. What a shame!! I still want to get a puppy sometime down the line. But I did some tall thinking last night after I had that chat with my sis, and I am thinking perhaps I'd better wait. I also want to take a trip to Australia for a movie I want to make. If I get the pup before I go, I'd have to have someone here to watch it, and I still don't know anyone here. I have quite a few breeds in mind that I want, I won't mention them here. I intend to make the announcement when I get the pup, and I don't want to say I'm going to get one breed and wind up with another. Don't worry dog people! I know what I am doing. I know my breeds! LOL!

As for my movie in Australia, well, hopefully that will be out next year. I know exactly what I am going to do and how I am going to do it. I don't intend on going there and making this movie while looking like a fat ugly old crone!! I'm going to have myself made up, and looking like a real actress! heehehe!! Well, most of the movie is going to be myself sitting in front of a camera reading my story, but I've also got an idea to put a few little surprises in there. When I make this movie, you're going to see an all-new me! Hopefully by then I'll have lost some weight. One thing I don't want to do is go there and contribute to this stereotype of a "fat American tourist". I also hope to bring home some souvenirs. Maybe meet some kangaroos. I'll try to get them on film. LOL! As for availability, now it's a toss-up, whether I want to put this movie on YouTube or just on UMG Productions for rent.

A Tough Decision

I don't know what is the right thing to do now. Hmmm. Looking back on some of my actions on Facebook, I'm thinking I am just not ready to associate with people yet. And no, it's not  just because of what's been happening over the last week. This kind of thing goes on all the time with me. I'm thinking of just deactivating my account on Facebook. Not deleting it, just deactivating it. Or maybe if I keep it, just keep around those INXS fans that I really REALLY trust very well. And of course family and personal friends. Let's face it, I will never understand people. Ever! This is a tough decision. I'm either going to do one or the other. This will lower me down in the number of friends quite considerably, but that's OK. I always said I would much rather have 1 or 2 good friends than 400 fair-weather ones. Really, I don't want to lose Facebook, because that's the only real way I can chat with my family now. Except by phone. So, most likely, I'm just going to do a mass clean-up. Nothing personal against those people I delete. I just need to close my Facebook account to outsiders. At least until I think I am ready. I have no idea how long that is going to take. I may have to also drop out of groups until I am positive I am ready.

Again, think of me as a wild animal. A wild animal that has to be acclimated to people a little at a time. I think for my own sake, it's best to keep just a few close friends around until I learn to understand and trust people again. I've always had trust issues with people, and I thought I was rehabilitated when I joined more INXS groups over the past couple of years. Maybe my having too many friends just went to my head and it was confusing to me. Maybe. Mind you, I am not making excuses. Just saying what is real. I'm going to stay in my own group, Tim-Hutch Love, but that will most likely be it. Anyone wants to contact me, they can do so there. But my friends can contact me any time they want. Those that remain. I will also keep family around and my closest friends. But I am going to reduce the number of INXS buds on my Facebook. For the time being.

I think my mind is made up, this is what I am going to do.

The Last Thing

OK, I took down last night's post. Relax people. I was just speculating. I didn't mention names so I was not meaning to hurt anyone. One of my friends, one of my most loyal friends, confronted me about this. I don't want to upset her, because I like her a lot. I like her even more now actually! She's earned my respect very well. And really, I was not trying to be vindictive. If I was, I would have mentioned the person's name and posted her pic. But I didn't want to go that route. However, I don't always know when I am being vindictive. I see other people doing things, and I believe it to be OK. Just saying, not making excuses or anything. Well, the person who told me, I like her a LOT. The last thing I wanted to do was upset her, so I took last night's post down. I am at peace now.

I'm an introvert, I don't always know when I hurt someone else's feelings. My feelings are not easily hurt, so I often think other people are as hard-skinned as I am. I usually laugh in the face of adversity, that's how I am. Think of me as being like a wild, undomesticated animal. I do what I do, if you play with me, I may get a little too rough, but I don't know I'm hurting you. Not unless you tell me. I commend this friend for confronting me on this matter like she did. I'd have more respect for people if they came to me themselves and told me how they feel. But most people don't. Especially on the internet. They just turn and walk away without saying a word. Or, in the case of Facebook, just delete you without saying why. It doesn't help me understand them at all. At least if I delete someone, they're going to know why I did it. One person I deleted recently, I sent her a PM before I did it to a link to this blog where I discovered she had slammed me behind my back. I'd have preferred she'd have slammed me to my face. I'm still going to avoid the person I spoke of last night at all costs. LOL! I still want to go to Australia though. I want to do this video! It's something I've never done before. And probably will never have the chance to do again.

Like I said before, I may be an introvert, but I am not an evil person. I have more respect for people who tell me how they feel when I do something, right or wrong, than I would have if someone just slams me behind my back. Who likes being slammed behind their back? Yes I talk about people on this blog, but my blog is open. The comment section is a free-for-all. If you have something to say about one of my posts, you have the option to say it. You won't be blocked, your comment won't be deleted. Just say what you feel. I won't always respond. I don't even guarantee it will be read by me. LOL! Cuz that's just how I am. Usually I respond only to comments that are not anonymous. And I don't cover-up either. I'll come right out and confess. I was brought up to always tell the truth, no matter what. But believe me when I say it's not always easy to be honest. But John Lennon was right, it does get you the right kind of friends. Even he has earned my respect too. I never considered myself to be a fan of John Lennon. But he does have more of my respect now that I know what he's talking about. LOL!

However, I want to keep these up. Because I thought they were funny...

The radicals viewing my blog before.

The radicals viewing my blog now.

And if you don't like what I say online, send me a PM. I may not respond right away, but I do eventually respond. I don't always stay on Facebook for long. I pop on and off of Facebook like Christmas lights. I may be there one second, and not there the next.

Did You Ever Notice?

Did anyone ever notice how today's movies suck?? You know the last movie I ever saw in the theaters was A Night At The Museum, and I didn't even want to see that movie. I wanted to see the live-action version of Charlotte's Web. But I was with a group of people and I was outvoted and forced to see what they wanted to see. But the last movie I voluntarily saw in the theaters was Jackass 2. I enjoyed it. Though I don't know if it really qualifies as the same kind of movie as Charlotte's Web, it's more a reality-based movie. I grabbed Katrina that night and asked her if she wanted to go see this movie with me, and of course she said yes. She loves Jackass!! But that was the last movie I saw voluntarily. I saw Happy Feet too, and it was OK. Not great, but OK. I thought I would like it better because I'm such a lover of penguins and seals. But let's face it, movies today kinda suck! I think personally it's because today's directors and producers don't have what it takes to make a good movie. Movies started going downhill in 1999, and have never recovered. Now, don't get me wrong, there are some good movies from that era. But nowhere near as good as they were before then.

Sometimes I want to look up to the heavens and ask "Michael baby, are you upset that the world is going on without you so you're putting a curse on the world today?" Look at the things that have happened since he's been gone. Major volcanic eruptions, major tsunamis, hurricanes, tornadoes, bad movies, bad food, etc. The world is obviously cursed for some reason.

Anyways, I saw a video today about some of the worst movies that were based on actual events. One of those movies was an animated film about the Titanic. Strangely enough, it had mice as passengers instead of people. Well, there were a few people, but they were set off with a bunch of mice who dressed up and acted like people. Why do so many cartoons have mice as one of the main characters? Is it because they are small? If you ask me, there is no place for mice in a story about the Titanic. And there are enough movies being made with love in the plot. That may be why today's movies suck so much. All the stories center around love, and the directors have run out of ideas. Love scenes can only be strewn about in a topic just so many times before it becomes too predictable, and boring!! If you notice, just about every movie has someone falling in love with someone else, or is married to someone else, there are so few places for love scenes to go now. The only thing I haven't seen anyone do in any movie is have a gay person fall in love. That's something that should be done, I think. At least it is something that has never been done before. Not in any major motion picture anyways.

OK, so I know it's not funny, but it would make an interesting movie!

Anyways, there are enough movies about love. Cannot really blame the directors of today, love usually is what people like to see in movies and in books. Some of the spiciest novels involve romance of one kind or another. Very few of my books involve romance. Most of them centers around family. I do have some where some of the characters fall in love, even one where a couple of them gets married. But I think every love scene has been created in every movie now, to a point where it has all become kindof cliche. That's why so few of my stories are about love. But I have not completely left out the subject of love in my own stories. Look at the story about the marriage between Candi and Leopold. Then there is the St, Helens Tribute story, where Candi, as a 17-year old groupie, develops a teenage crush on David Johnston. Even the INXS story, where Candi develops a crush on Tim Farriss. I didn't include Leopold in that story, as her marriage with him would have happened after that story took place. Instead, she just acts as a caregiver to this group of animals.

Anyways, the point is this is the kind of thing people want to see. I notice a lot of movies that did not do well in the theaters do not involve love. I think by far, the worst movie I ever saw was Deep Blue Sea. My sis and I went to see that movie while it was still in the theaters, and it was so bad, we were the only ones in there to see it. I thought it was going to be somewhat like JAWS. But it wasn't. The sharks kept killing one person after another, after another. Not too much action between those killing scenes either. They were too close together. I saw that movie and I said "I could have done this movie better". LOL!! But it was a fun day out with my sis. But since that movie came out, I noticed movies have been getting worse.

Maybe part of the reason movies with love scenes are so bad now is because we're getting new directors who have no real idea what love really is. So they're taking ideas from previous movies with love scenes and applying them to their own movies. That's my theory. This is the problem with kids coming from single-parent homes. They don't know what love really is. That's something that cannot be learned in school. So it affects adults, not only in their love life, but also in their careers. I guess it is true that it takes more than love for a child to raise it.

I love to write stories, but I think I missed my real calling. I should become a movie director!! LOL! I have a couple of stories of my own that I would love to put into movie form. The story of Gracie and her baby is one of them. The problem with that story is that people today would see it and think it's a rip-off of Finding Nemo, even though that story is much older than Finding Nemo. That's just a case of great minds thinking alike. The original version of that story is quite different from the version I have on the site. But even the revised version is older than the movie Finding Nemo. I put Lisa in that story originally in 1999. But the scenes were perfected in 2004. But they were by no means based on Finding Nemo. I say "perfected" because it used to be a lot longer and a lot more dull, according to my sis. So, I took out a LOT of pointless scenes. But that's what you do when you write a story. Or even a movie. A lot of scenes get deleted in movies because they were pointless and add nothing to the movie. Same with stories. But a lot of the movies today are just pointless.

Links to the stories discussed in this post:

INXS Goes to Mount St. Helens

A Tribute To Mount St. Helens

The Wedding

Gracie's Odyssey

International Women's Day

Oh Wow. Now I've heard it all. Women get an international day all to themselves. I love being a woman, sometimes. LOL! It has it's good points and it's bad points. Last month I swear I got PMS. That's one of the things I hate about being a woman. Women also put on weight faster than men. So there's another thing I hate about being a woman. I'm one of few women that doesn't give a shit about this feminist movement, so that makes me somewhat unique among women. But then I am always unique. I'd prefer to be a lady, rather than a feminist. I was brought up to act like a lady, so I try. I can be a bitch too, but it's only skin-deep. LOL! I'm sure being a man has it's good points too. They don't have to pull their pants completely down to take a wizz in the woods. Did I say "wood"? LOL!!

Well, a lot of women have gone on to do some magnificent things. My #1 hero is Dian Fossey. I look up to her as a source of strength. Yes, I learned a lot of my strong points from her. She battled for what she believed in. She even laid down her life to save mountain gorillas from extinction. If I had to go by a manmade tragedy, I'd rather it be as I was fighting for what I believe in too. I've been an admirer of Dian Fossey's since 1988. I could not wait to see Gorillas In The Mist when I would see the advertisements on TV, before it was in the theaters. I read her book from cover to cover, several times. I love it. When I was thinner, I thought I even looked like her. IMO, she was the greatest woman ever to walk the earth! She did not succeed in stopping the poaching of mountain gorillas, as I hear it is still going on today. But she did slow it down, and she did bring awareness of what was going on between the gorillas and people. For that, I admire her. And I will always admire her.

However, she is the only woman I admire. Well, unless you count my family. I admire my sis because she is a great sis! She ambitioned to lose 100 pounds and she did! My sis has made sacrifices for me too, and I admire that. I admire my ma because she too has made sacrifices for me and my sis. She has also changed through the years, and she never stopped loving me and my sis. I even admire my stepmom, she kicked breast cancer's ass! She cleared that hurdle. I admire that. I also admire my friends. Now, I can honestly say I've got the most loyal friends ever on Facebook. Oh yes! I got down to 401 friends. I expect the numbers will still drop. But for now, it's good to find out how many real friends I have! Some of my friends are worried this will get me down. I tell them no. Please don't worry about me. This is my job. It's what I do. I keep everything honest. If I lose so-called "friends" because of that, well, they were not worth keeping in the first place anyways. But I love my friends for their concern.

At the same time, I understand how hard it is for people to stay loyal to a person like me. I'm an honest person, sometimes brutally honest. And I have lost friends over the years because of it. It comes with the territory. LOL! I fight for what I believe in, and many people find that intimidating. They can't take it so they leave. But I won't change. I've been on the other side before and it was the worst feeling in the world!

Anyways, Dian Fossey is about the only famous woman I can think of that is worth a mention. I don't take well to female singers or musicians. I'm not saying they cannot be good musicians. I'm just saying I don't take to them very well. There are a few I like so, I can admire them. But IMO, and this may not be popular opinion, music is mostly a male-dominated occupation. Or it could be just because I am a woman, looking at the good-looking men in rock n roll, I take to them quicker. But there are some songs sang by women that I do like, and I've got them on my MP3 player. But as singers themselves, I am not into them. Even when I was a fan of Roxette, it was Per Gessle I admired. Not the woman, Marie Fredriksson I think is her name. I don't take to female TV personalities. Some look nice (as women go), and are nice people I'm sure, but I just don't take well to female celebrities. Again, it could be because I myself am a woman.

Now I wonder if there is an international men's day. Gender equality. LOL! That'll be the day to celebrate my men of INXS. Well, I am always celebrating them anyways. I love those men! They are the greatest!

Well, the saga continues this morning. One of the Yatesfags tried to join my group last night. I rejected her because I don't believe her to be an INXS fan. But I have the feeling I am going to be antsy about letting any new people in there for a while. This girl, I'd seen her before, and she was one of the radicals. So my guess was she was going in there just to stir up shit. If she wants to stir up shit, she can do it here. One of my friends pointed out she actually likes small, intimate groups like mine. So maybe my group growing larger would not be such a hot thing afterall.

Goodie! How Exciting!!

My last post was crossposted to the MH and His Life fan page. Good!! I'm glad! Go ahead and post this one there too. Ya know you people can post comments on my blog. There is that capability. Ah heck! They won't do it because they're spineless. And chances are I probably won't respond.

Anyways, I wanted to touch up a little bit on what I was thinking when I wrote that last post. Someone I know and love dearly was bullied on one of the groups for having her own opinion. I won't say who, but it doesn't matter to this story because I have seen it happen all across Facebook. I will forever stand up against bullying, and also will stand up for free speech. If it upsets people that I was upset hearing about someone I adore being bullied, well then that's the problem of those people. I suspected the bullying to be from "Fag Central". But I was not sure. I just wondered because I myself was harassed for having my own opinion. I was also banned for having my own opinion too, and I believe that to be a violation of my rights of free speech. Not only that, but they posted about me on the group AFTER I was kicked out, and also on a group that I was not a member of, never had been a member of, and never wanted to be a member of. I am not an evil person. They could have said what they wanted to say while I was in there. Or they could have said it on this blog. The comments are open, even to anonymous commenters if they wanted to stay hidden.

Yes, I said that the mods there acted like dictators. Because they DID! I know these people hate honesty, but I'm gonna say it whether they like it or not. I'm always honest with people, I believe that to be the way to be. I expect the same thing from them. As for my hatred of radicals, there is a BIG difference between a radical and a fan. I am an INXS fan. I've had people say to me "INXS sucks" and "I don't like INXS" and "INXS bites". But I don't care. That's their opinion. That's not my opinion. That's what makes me a fan. I've said this before, radicals are the ones like the mods in this group, that kick people out because they don't like the same things the mods like.

I wondered why when I looked in on my Facebook page today I was missing a lot of friends. This has to be some kind of record. LOL!! I went from 412 friends to 403 friends in one night. LOL! The numbers will probably keep going down. But hey! That's my job. I know I did my job well when I start losing friends. Like I've said, I'm not a politically correct person. I will voice my opinion, especially on my blog, because I feel I have to. And I will always stand up against bullying. I was bullied as a child, so I know what it feels like. I find even as an adult, there are still bullies out there. If I see a friend being bullied, yes I'm going to react. I'm not trying to be hostile. I just feel the bullying should stop. Once it does, I will stop speaking against it. But unfortunately this is a big world and people are cruel. So, it looks like I will always have to stand up against bullying.

As for calling the MH and his Life fan page "Fag Central", I did not mean EVERYONE in there are radicals. There are (or maybe WERE) still some people in there that I like and that I remained friends with. But then the mods began acting more like dictators. And I really do not care to go back or have anything more to do with that group. Some people have dropped me as a friend and I am fine with that. Believe me. Those that are still among my friends, thank you. I will continue to love my most loyal friends. Those who stay with me, you're awesome!! I must say, you are the strongest of the strong!!

No More Groups

Hmm. I remember after the INXS miniseries came out, I joined several groups dedicated to INXS, and became quite active. It was fun at first, but as the year went on, and some moderators began to act like dictators, it became far less fun. One group that I became quite attached to in the beginning, but it quickly lost it's luster was the Michael Hutchence And His Life Fan Page; the page that I now refer to as "Fag Central". Why? Because it's full of fags (radicals). And they are not Michael Hutchence radicals. They are Yatesfags. They should probably change the name of their page to "Don't Join Unless You Are A Yatesfag Page". Of course I wouldn't like them any better if they were Michael Hutchence radicals. I just plain HATE radicals! If I had the power, I'd take all the radicals of the world, put them in a huge concentration camp, and nuke them all off the face of the earth! The world would be a better place if I did that, that's for sure! But unfortunately, I don't have that power. Only GOD has that power. But why GOD created radicals I'll never understand. Or maybe GOD didn't create the radicals. I think radicals must be a product of the devil. It makes sense! They ruin the world for everybody, so they must be creations from Hell.

Well, more and more radicals are deleting me from their friends on Facebook. There are a couple still among my friends that I think are very questionable. We used to be friends, and I was always nice to them, but since the incident with the Yatesfags a few months ago, I've noticed a few of them have stopped communication with me. So, they might be fags. I should delete them! I was also quite close to Matt Burney, and he deleted me. Not only that, but he also blocked me on Facebook. LOL!! I say GOOD!! I used to like him, but once I found out he was a fag, he was dead as far as I was concerned! hehehe! He's gone and I am glad. One less radical to look at. And I never would have guessed he was a radical. He squealed himself out. Eventually, I figure, they ALL will rat themselves out because radicals are dumb. They cannot keep their mouths shut forever when facing so much adversity. Either they will delete me or I will delete them. I should post those pics of Paula blacked out on my Facebook page, that'll weed out anymore radicals that may be lurking around. And really, the mods of the Michael Hutchence And His Life Fan Page have no room to talk. Maria How has actually posted pics where the other band members have been cut out. And then there is Karin H. She takes pics of Michael and Helena, and any other chick he is with, and cuts their heads out and places her own head on their bodies, just so she can make it look like she's standing in the picture with Michael. Basically that's the same thing I do with the pictures with Paula, and they all love it when she does it. So there is a double-standard there.

Anyways, another victim was claimed by this crowd of bullies in a group. I won't go into detail about who it was or what happened, as it is very personal. All I will say about the person is I've never known her to be anything but sweet and kind and very respectful. She's never argued with anyone ever, she respects other peoples' opinions. She's definitely the farthest thing from being a radical that I've ever seen, besides myself. But some bullies in a group just decided to harass her for saying how she felt. I noticed that now seems to be a trend. Especially for those groups that are growing. Once they reach 1000 members, the mods start running their groups the way Kim Jong-Un runs North Korea! I pray to GOD I never get like that. Well, I always try to keep my own moderation to a minimum. I prefer to let people have their own opinions, and I let them know that too. The only time I would get involved is if it turns into out of control mud-slinging. But what other people might think is mud-slinging, I may not consider it as such because I have such a thick skin, and I see things differently from other people. Some people are extremely sensitive. To them, just the act of disagreeing with them is enough for them to lose their shit. For me, it doesn't get bad until it turns into name-calling. Cussing I can handle. Name-calling there is no rational reason for.

Ya know, its funny I would say that, knowing I call radicals "fags". LOL!!! While in my language, I am not meaning to demean gay people, that is how a lot of people take it. Modern society are the ones that put the word "fag" on gay people. But you notice, their cause is not called "fag-pride movement", it's called "gay-pride". Really, a "fag" is a cigarette. I call radicals that because they are hot-headed, just like cigarettes. And they stink just like cigarettes too! LOL! Well! Blame Encyclopedia Dramatica! I got it from them! LOL!

Well, I notice fewer people are commenting on groups now, my group is nearly dead. I lost several people just this past week. But you know, I feel that GOD does not want my group to grow any more than what it has. I think HE thinks maybe that it may not be good for me. I never wanted to be popular when I was a kid. Though I did get a taste of popularity in the groups, it didn't change me. The only thing it did for me was let down my guard. Maybe that is why GOD does not want me to have any more friends than I have now, and why HE won't allow me to have any more visitors to my group. That is my guess. That's the way it's been working out lately. The most I've had on my group has been 357, now I'm down to 355, for the third time. People come and go a lot. But after losing that many viewers that many times, I begin to believe it to be an act of GOD. It can't be me, as I do everything I can to make that group a lot of fun. Perhaps there is more I can do to improve the group. But mostly now, I post as many awesome pics as I can find, I let people voice their opinions and I don't judge anyone. I don't even take my miseries to the group at all. I don't tell people to go out and attack those who do me wrong. I don't even use the group to attack people who have done me wrong. I'm not Maria or Roberta!! LOL! I only use the group to post pics for viewers to lust over. That could be another reason GOD does not want the group to succeed. According to the Bible, HE does not like lust.

Well, I do have big plans when my group reaches 500 members. Well I have "A" big plan. I don't want to reveal what it is here, but it will involve all the members of the group. That is IF that magical day ever comes. But I think with GOD having HIS plan in place, I may never see that number in my group at all. Even a couple of my friends have noticed whenever they post something in any of the groups, no one responds. I've been to some other groups and they are all dead. I mean, people post sometimes, but there are very few responses, despite the fact there are more members of those groups than there are in mine. I think it may be because they are afraid of being bullied. But no one bullies in the groups I am in, yet most of them get few responses. The most active group I am in is the Australian INXS page. I lurk in there sometimes, not often. I like the group well enough and I like the mods, but they censor things. Too many posts get deleted in there for no reason. I remember last year one post, from a Garry fan, went on for a few days with no mud-slinging going on at all. Suddenly one day the whole post was deleted. The original poster didn't know why it got deleted, but it upset him. I couldn't even understand why it was deleted as there was no fighting of any kind in that post. I've seen people in there thanking the mods for making that a positive place to post. But that kind of moderation does come with a price. It costs us our free speech rights, which I believe whole-heartedly in. I let people battle out their differences, because I feel nothing gets solved if people censor others. To me, that is not right. And if everyone agrees with everyone else, the world would be one hell of a dull place!! No one learns anything if someone does not criticize them. No one can change that cannot accept criticism. Those are words I live by. I take those words to my facebook page and my INXS group.