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Disclaimer: If you are easily offended by sheer honesty, or you think me having my own opinions is "being negative", then this is not the place for you, and I suggest you leave and head elsewhere. I call a spade a spade, and I don't sugarcoat anything.

Saturday, March 21, 2015

Peace, Love and INXS

I watched my favorite movie again last night, Never Tear Us Apart. Still my #1 favorite movie, I love it! It still makes me weep too. I've been missing Michael a lot lately. I don't know why! But this past week has been very tough on me, thinking about him and remembering him. I love him so much and miss him more than anything. But you know what? I am glad that I have my memory of him in my life, but sometimes I am so glad I did not formally meet him in person. Especially after he had his accident that ruined his sense of taste and smell. Everyone said he was more aggressive and being a dick more often than usual. Even some of the fans who met him after the accident, or came in contact with him.

One fan I've heard from, had met him several times, and even partied with him. She said her last meeting with him, he wasn't very nice to her at all. One of my friends met him the day Kurt Cobain passed away and she said he wasn't very talkative at all that day. He didn't say anything to her. And the band members of INXS all say after his accident he was a different person, much more aggressive. I keep thinking to myself "GOD! I am so glad I never met Michael under those conditions!" Knowing how I am, and drawing from my experience after meeting Kirk, knowing how I took him snubbing me the way he did, I probably would have thought the exact same thing about Michael. I definitely would have taken  his snubbing the wrong way, and probably would have wound up not liking him in the end either. So, I am glad I never met him after his accident. It's enough for me that I got to kiss him.

I'm just that way, if someone snubs me, I take it to mean they just don't like me. From someone I don't care about, it doesn't bother me. I wish more people throughout my life who didn't like me would have just snubbed me and let that be it! But coming from any of the band members of INXS, it would hurt me a great deal. Kirk did and it broke my heart. I used to love him! Almost to a point I loved Timmy. I was reading excerpts from my old MSN blog from 2005, and I saw where I wrote about the video for the INXS song, Time. I fell madly in love with Kirk in that video. I thought he was so gorgeous. That was before I ever met him. So I never said anything bad about Kirk, ever. Not in my early days of blogkeeping. Well, piss on it now! I've forgiven him. But I cannot ever forget what happened. But I can say if Michael had been like that to me, I'd probably be feeling the same way about him even now, as I do about Kirk.

Michael was shy. I can say that. Everyone who knew him very well all said he was very shy and sometimes even reserved. Many people take it the wrong way when you are shy, and nobody knows that better than I do!! If you're shy, most people either think you are stuck up or retarded. Shy kids always get the short end of the stick. I was extremely reserved as a child! And bashing from other kids only made it all worse. So, I never learned how to keep friends. The friends I do have are the strongest and most loyal people you'll ever find anywhere. When I was a kid, I didn't hardly talk to anyone. The friends I did make as a kid, I was always so desperate to hold on to, I guess. I became clingy to them, sometimes I guess it got to a point where they thought I was parasitic. My biggest problem I think is that I became too comfortable with them too fast. When I am so desperate to make friends, that's when I get in the most trouble. I let my guard down.

On the other hand, a lot of people who met Michael said he was a sweet, gentle person. When I kissed him, I could see that. When he smiled I could see how kind and gentle he was. He was always about peace and love. I love that about him. And for the most part, a lot of that seems to have rubbed off on the fans. Most INXS fans I've met have been nice. There are some bad apples out there, I've seen them. But most INXS fans are friendly and inviting. I try to be now. I can be reserved, but I can also be nice as well. It just takes me longer to become that nice friendly person. I "test the waters" to see if the other person approaching me is friendly or not. If they don't seem friendly to me, I don't waste my time on them. If they seem friendly, I'll be nice, warm and friendly in return. Per capita, the best people I've ever met were INXS fans. I was into dog shows and stuff back in the early 2000s, and show breeders are nowhere near as nice as INXS fans!! Even INXS fans at their worst is still friendlier than show breeders at their best. And before I went to dog shows, I used to think pet lovers were the nicest, kindest and most honest people out there. I was wrong!! My experiences with animal lovers have been some of the worst experiences of my life!

Although I have to say, I like animal lovers better than anime fanatics or video gamers. By far, those have been the absolute WORST people I've ever met in my life! I guess because most of them are teenagers, and teenagers don't know any better. But still! I think the reason show breeders are hateful is because their lives are all about dogs, competition, and health testing. They seem to forget they are people too. I think their constant thinking about getting that ultimate show dog blacks out their mind when it comes to being nice to other people. As for video gamers, besides the fact that the majority of them are teenagers, their lives are all about competition. Nothing else. They want nothing more than to get that high score on a video game, the highest score they can ever get, and they want it even if it means stepping on someone else's toes. So, they carry that angry, competitive attitude with them when meeting new people. So they are generally unkind. Whenever I get a negative post on any of my videos on YouTube, I don't even have to look at the person's channel, and I know it will be a video gamer or an anime fanatic. About 99% of the time I check, and I find out I am right.

As for anime fanatics, I don't know what anime cartoons are teaching them, but I have the feeling it is nothing good! Probably has something to do with being competitive as well, because the majority of anime fanatics are also into video games. Anime fanatics don't think anyone who doesn't look like an anime cartoon character is worth being nice to. So, they hate people like me who are not "perfect" in every dimension. Personally, I think anime cartoons are ugly! Uglier than I ever was!! So, IMO, if an anime fanatic thinks I am ugly because I don't look like an anime cartoon character, well I take that as a compliment! :)

But INXS fans are not like those people at all. INXS have always been about peace and love, and that is what I like about them. And will always love about them. I even saw a pic of JD recently and even he has changed!! I used to think he just looked like an overgrown little boy. Kinda like how Aiden Turner looks to me. And speaking of Aiden Turner, I think I saw his twin brother! LOL! Some kid from Duck Dynasty! Looked just like him! Even had the mean look in his eyes! Anyway, JD has changed! He looks more grown up now. Jon Stevens even sang with the band, and has been friends of theirs since Michael was around. But Jon Stevens is ugly!! UGH!! Some fans say he was sexy, well I never thought so! I always puke a little in the back of my mouth when some fan refers to Jon Stevens as being sexy. He was very far from being sexy! Bloated face and close-together eyes do not a sexy man make!! Face it, nobody will ever be as handsome as Michael and Timmy.
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